F43
A Quick Question......
May 26 2010
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
...unless of course they keep nagging at me then the bitch switch gets turned on. I always try to let the person know there and then or as soon after the meet as I have made my decision. Sometimes I dont feel safe enough to do so in person or even via phone conversation so i do sook out and do so by text or email but generally speaking in person at the meet. I can usually tell. However, on the other side if a guy isnt into me as much as I am them and I dont hear from them I usually dont constantly hound them for contact even those nasties that say "had a great time I will call you'. If you cant say it and mean it dont say it at all. Kisses Focus
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RHP User
16 years ago
You have to let them know! It's not yours or their fault, there just isn't a match!
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RHP User
16 years ago
You have to let them know! It's not yours or their fault, there just isn't a match!
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RHP User
16 years ago
you should just tell them no spark sorry and then its all good
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RHP User
16 years ago
You have to tell them. It's not yours or their fault, just sometimes there is no match. You can't string them along.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have a few meetings. I have found that is bes to meet early on. This way you save yourself from raising your expectations. I don't think it hurts to spend an hour simply talking and being polite.
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RHP User
16 years ago
i would personally prefer to be told honestly rather then be left wondering why i havent been contacted roxxy xxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Let them down gently. There is nothing worse than not knowing. Pusscat xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
But sometimes you just know that there is no sparks. I think as I don't have a poker face that I'm an easy read for someone. Plus it's a two way street. Do I get told anything?? I pick it up from them as well so no let down necessary. That's what I think any way. Fab.
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RHP User
16 years ago
In general, I would say, yes, be upfront and say so. But in practice, I have to confess to being too ... 'polite' to say no. And I was in for a surprise. I had corresponded with a woman, some years back, and we finally met in person. She was a lovely person, but I have to confess that she just didn't turn me on in the least (now, I'm the first to admit that I'm not oil painting, but hey, we all have standards). But I couldn't bring myself to say so. I just felt too mean. So, I agreed to a proper hookup. I reluctantly went along. I did not want to do this, but I just couldn't bring myself to reject someone. So I did it. And got the surprise of my life - she was amazing in bed!
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RHP User
16 years ago
I'd drop a post like yours in a forum like this and hope they got the message that it was about them :D . Personally I think ignoring them makes them feel better about it (because they can take the moral high ground and bitch about how rude you are). Letting them down gently needs to be done gently, but swiftly. Treat them like the skin under a band-aid. Most of the time they probably won't get the message, stalk you and then you have to resort to the first tactic anyway ... and all you have to show for it is that awkward moment where you told them they weren't all they were cracked up to be. . JG . PS - Does this mean we're through?
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RHP User
16 years ago
I'd invite six friends around.... that way we can all get it on and the fact that I'm ignoring that particular person will be obscured by the wriggling masses. Yeah... I'm a problem solver. You can thank me later. Seriously... learn to say "next". Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Let them know, being ignored is most annoying, I would always prefer someone to be upfront and honest.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I do admit I find it very difficult but from experience it is easier to hear what you don't want to rather than spend days or weeks wondering why you didn't get the hint. I am very brave in flirts because RHP have given me so many good excuses. Lol and when I have on occasion had to say it's not you its me- guys are pretty tough and upfront and just say no problem thanks for letting me know. I think most people agree that the confusion is when you have lunch and a drink and a laugh and a great afternoon only to then not hear much that the mixed messages start. Miss K
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RHP User
16 years ago
I don't think it has to be written on the wall, thanks but no thanks, or sorry you are really not what I am looking for!!! That's what I like about this site, we are adults and surely you as humans can pick up when the other party is really not into you... I have done the polite, geeze it's been great experience getting to know you although we seem to be heading in different directions etc etc and all you get is abuse. That will not stop me being polite and will receive graciously vice versa. Oh Heck just go with the flow...be prepared though.. xxx ps. yes Stalky next !!!! hahahahahaha
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RHP User
16 years ago
Jean, you crack me up!!! And Stalky, I will quite happily join that party!
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RHP User
16 years ago
I always make sure that I say we will meet first and if we spark... then we get down and dirty ... On the occasion that I havent wanted to I just dont make a second meeting and usually just tell them that I dont think we sparked And I would want the same in return ... that way you know where you stand.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I would rather know then be ignored. I must say, it is no easy task though...and i am one of those that find it really difficult to say no. I will even find myself answering all emails as i cant help but feeling like i should be polite, and then get caught up in email ping pong. I can't emphasise enough how important it is to me, that chemistry is present. It can determine the difference between mediocre and WOW. Mrs Shy xxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
in a considerate manner that its not on, and then move on....
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