Age, Experiences and Expectations.

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  RHP User

  5 years ago

  My desires and expectations haven’t changed much I don’t think....I still have zero expectations and my desires are still the same...that by putting myself out there, sharing my thoughts on these forums, I’ll mix and meet with those whom genuinely share my own agenda and desires... As for the disconnect I think that’s just women unwilling to turn a blind eye to people’s bullshit...be it make or female...

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  Cucknshells

  5 years ago

  In case it is your Birthday "Happy Birthday Obi" Hope you get some cake or maybe a cream bun too. I have changed over the years mentally and physically. In my forties it was like an awakening. I was more accepting of myself and I had moved away from giving a shit what others thought. I was more out there and wanted to try new things sexually. However when I hit my fifties I started to go through perimenopause and well ther side effects have not been the best. My libdo dropped and I started experiencing panic attacks. I have also put on a fair bit of weight and with everything going on my motivation to get out there has deminished. I suppose I am not as adventurous as I once was. I like my limited experiences to account more now that I am older. So for me age has had a large influence on my expectations and wants which is not always understood by others. Shells xx

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  Sawadee

  5 years ago

  We all know theres a invisible barrier on age in the minds of most ... BUT, if your healthy , look after yourself and fun to be around age isnt everything... l can vouch for that..

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  Player_J

  5 years ago

  Interesting question, and one I've been thinking on as i go through some "life experience" moments recently. In my personal experience, I've probably loosened up my view of sex a lot more - sex can be just sex, you don't have to love the person and both versions can be pretty amazing in their own way. Also ironically getting more comfortable with my body even tho it's aging and loosing its youthful edge, my confidence is getting higher.

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  ElectricDreamers

  5 years ago

  I've (Mrs) definitely morphed with regards to my likes. In particular age, I used to have a type, which was younger guys. A few encounters with quality more mature gentlemen have widened my net and my tastes. I was also way more into women in the beginning than I am now. But also as a couple our boundaries have been shifted.

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  teamaj2

  5 years ago

  Obi - oh how lucky you are to be 54 ! I woke up and realised I’m 59 , unsure when that occurred . I feel 28 on a good day . You ask about expectations of RHP - we didn’t really have any when we joined . ( VERY wet behind the ears ) We had no idea what to expect . Today we know what to expect from RHP - -Some interesting and some not so interesting forum posts and people . -The forums sometimes surprise us with pearls of wisdom and information we didn’t know . Never too old to learn as the saying goes. -We have met some wonderful people via RHP . We also have some interstate friends we’ve made via RHP that we only chat to. Both are blessings . With age have my wants and needs changed ? My wants , needs , desires, sexual experiences have evolved over time . It’s nothing to do with my age but everything to do with being with the right ‘partner in crime ‘- my husband of 15 years . Like cucknshells I’ve gone through the trials of menopause . Thankfully with the help of acupuncture and a husband with the patience of a saint I’ve come out the other side with my libido having returned, my sense of adventure and exploration have also returned . My desires have definitely changed in the past 20 years because of all the amazing and not so amazing experiences I have had with my husband and the people I have met . Definitely, the main aspect that has changed for me sexually is now enjoying watching my husband with others without jealousy . When we first met I would never have thought that possible . Age is just a number . The reality is I certainly do not have the body I had at age 30 . No point in dwelling on what was . I feel much happier sexually , emotionally and in all aspects of my life now compared to 20 years ago . Ax

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  RHP User

  5 years ago

  For me it's changed alot. I've been on and off here for sometime. It was fun in the beginning. Use to be quite excited about meeting someone on Rhp but to be honest I just can't be bothered now. I'm after something more long-term. Maybe it's age related maybe not. Forums are mostly why I'm here now.

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  countrytouch82

  5 years ago

  I was 32 when I joined and I'll be 39 soon this year. My search for a relationship remains and in regards to this site, it is just one of a number of sites and platforms and odd real life events that I attempt to find dates. After first joining I was exploring lots of parties and events to witness and engage in various fantasies, to become more sexually experienced, and also life experienced by being witness to the various lives and relationships and other wisdom that people have. This certainly includes all of the meet and greets and conversations they bring. Expectations are still few as I've learnt that you never really know who, where, when or how you meet someone that you make a further connection with. Like all platforms it will be full of a sheer variety reflecting a range of people, and like the OP I don't see why I wouldn't still be a member here at his age either. My interest and need will come and go but that's life. If certain demographics appear to have a much more superficial approach, I see it as the nature of society and the relevant upbringing and education of people generally, and not so much with the particular platform involved.

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  MsSuperFoxy

  5 years ago

  There sure is a disconnect! Woman are years ahead of men in maturity levels. When I was carefree I would accept those cheap, tacky porn messages. There's no way in hell I would go there or accept them now. Yet, those same men from 10yrs ago, are still sending the same old, same old crap massages now. Nothing has changed. They haven't learnt to listen to what women want. Why haven't those old farts evolved? Yet as women age (like fine wine), I can understand why wine bottles are more appealing. Ms Foxy

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  AnnieWhichway

  5 years ago

  I'm finding my journey here coming to an end. Not sure if it's age related, or the bullshit one has to endure or probably the combination of both. But the 7ish years lve been here feels like 20 years in the amount of experiences that have come my way. Life has been in the fast lane and it's worn me out. I've nothing left in the bucket list to achieve. I've satisfied it all. I've met and been with amazing people, shared amazing moments to take with me to the nursing home. In general sense the journey has bought completeness to my life as Annie. I'll stick around for the forum for a bit but just couldn't be bothered much with hookups anymore, even meet and greets seem a stretch to far but who knows. Once the mind was willing, the body not so much. Now they are both on the same page. One has to be realistic to say no when a 60 yo tranny gets hit up by people half her age. Scary now. But no regrets to date and aiming to keep it that way

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  RHP User

  5 years ago

  No regrets here either, its been a 90% positive experience for me. My expectations havent changed. I still want a connection and an ongoing fwb arrangement. Its not so easy now though, I find that most messages are from guys looking for hook ups. I do expect face pics ( even in private folder ) and personal profile write ups though. After all, it is all about attraction. Sadly, a lot of guys think a blank profile with no photos is enough to drop the frillies. Id love to see an adult dating site where photos and a write up were mandatory. Profiles with none of these are just a waste of time.

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  MsSuperFoxy

  5 years ago

  I think the OP is refering to the disconnection of mind fucking and as we age with our expectations, there is a disconnections. What I question is...if people evolve and their expectations change as they mature from their 30s, 40s, 50s why hasn't their behavours changed? I'm talking (from my point of view) about 40+ males still have the thought process that it is OK to have their cocks out in profile pics and sending unsolicited cock pics. Where women tend to want more substance as they get older say 40+. I believe women's mind sets change and do expect men to behave appropriately towards them. I know as I do as my personal boundaries are a lot firmer, so is my grip. There is a huge disconnection of the minds out there. It's real and happening. Why is this so? Ms Foxy

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  EarthQueen

  5 years ago

  Im 51 and in 5 years it's been an interesting journey and an extremely empowering one. When I first joined here I would say I was very naive. I have to thank Antichrist for waking me up a bit tbh. We have never met but our conversations were extremely helpful in understanding myself a bit better and also men. Thanks for looking out for me Anti x I will always be grateful . I thought casual sex was going to be so empowering and I guess it was for a bit. But then it wasn't and I felt really lost and empty. What I realised was that connection for me is everything and not just the FWB connection. So now I have a partner and even though I don't have the massive highs of exciting encounters I have the constant love of someone who gets me and that makes me happy. He wants to be monogamous and even though I would say that's not my completely natural state I give that up without resentment for what I get in return. I would say as a woman there is a general disconnect between men and women. I don't think that many men my age understand what women really need. This is the cause of the frustrations and sadness that women feel. I think that what is expressed as anger is often sadness. We aren't harsh bitter bitches we are sad a lot of the time that men don't understand what we crave. As for sex my overall sex drive is a bit less but my sexual energy is still strong and when its kindled it burns hot. Obi I would thank you for your contribution here. You are a bit quirky but also obviously a man who is intelligent and curious about relationships and I appreciate your contribution to the forums. Theres much more I could write but its already an essay. x

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  AnnieWhichway

  5 years ago

  OP I expect the answer to your post lies within the heading Connection/ disconnection = Age x Experience ÷ Expectation Auntie has channelled her good friend Albert Einstein for that result. Although he quit RHP early in his career as he failed to crack the formula as to why an adult male thought it a priority to circulate photos of his genitalia

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  Obi1kenietzsche

  5 years ago

  But on a serious note, it’s great to see such open expressions from fellow Pieklets regarding what is quite a personal and emotive topic. The dynamics and dichotomy in regards to interaction between people on adult sites such as here can only be guessed at unless one shares such personal insights, so thank you all. Many many women’s profiles on here mention the desire to be mentally engaged as a component of what they desire, but I’m wondering if the importance of the role the mind plays in sexual situations is appreciated or even understood by many of male Pieklets (younger men in particular). Please understand that I’m not being judgmental here, but it’s been mentioned so many times previously by women that it got me wondering why. Is this mental engagement requirement essentially more if a female thing or do men want it as well. And does that mental aspect requirement increase as we (particularly women) get older? Is this the perceived “disconnect” between women say 45+ and younger men say 30+/-? I think not having the internet and such social media platforms such as this in my teens and early adulthood has shaped the way I and many of my similarly aged cohort (both men and women) communicate in this space. Does integrity and substance get lost in the notion that “it’s a numbers game” in respect to how guys perceive this place? Does this equate to the often lamented lack of real effort in communication (eg messaging)? Do we take the time to actually consider that the priorities of others might change as we get older, and that the dichotomy of our expectations may increase in proportion to the difference in age between a man and a women (ie younger man messaging an older woman?) Or are we all so time poor that we opt for expediency rather than substance?

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  Obi1kenietzsche

  5 years ago

  I’m thinking that thus thread ties in somewhat with the sentiments expressed in Phonex’s topic (see above)

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  Tall74nHard9

  5 years ago

  I posted a very carefully thought-out response to this topic last night, but the overseer's of the site decided that they (again) couldn't stand to see some fragments of truth about the site - so decided to delete my response. Why is it that they will allow some to get away with particular commentaries, and not others ? That really pisses me of with the current lot of adjudicators here. But this is being uncomplimentory of them - will they allow this to pass ? Tall

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  2EssesExploring

  5 years ago

  In my late 20’s and into my 30’s I was like a kid in a candy shop. Had great fun at parties, whether they ended in play or not. Enjoyed the social aspect and enjoyed exploring with my then partner in crime. Late 30’s to early 40’s took a break as I found myself single and was focusing on other things in my life. Worked out that I enjoy this side of things more for the sharing of desires with a lover than just self satisfaction. When I met my “other S” I didn’t think we would ever head down the rabbit hole as I thought it would never be something she wanted. How wrong was I and it’s been the most enjoyable exploration of my life because as a couple we are really in tune with each other’s needs abs desires and although we don’t explore them often we have adored every experience we have had. I am much happier to take the back seat and just be there for support of her explorations but she has realised one of her biggest turn ons is watching me in action. So as time progressed we seem to fight for who gets the back seat haha. Our tastes seem to change over time, kind of like being in that candy shop but taking our time to lick and suck each type of candy and savour it’s taste before looking to the next shelf to see what delight is awaiting us.

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  nightingale8

  5 years ago

  Ob1 I agree the internet is a beast of its own. Pre and early internet there was already a gender divide. Put a screen between men and women in meeting/interacting and you lose most of the communication and connection and the divide widens. Plus there’s that generational difference you talk of. Younger people always get a bad wrap for being superficial and inattentive but needs and wants are the same. It’s just that the internet has played a bigger role in younger people’s lives. Then there’s also the evolution of the internet/social media over the past 6-7 years. It’s not just an age thing, don’t forget all the AI is rapidly evolving and integrating in every aspect of life. The quality of my interactions online has dramatically plummeted over the past 6 years which is why I try to move things offline quickly and actually meet real people. That doesn’t always sit well though as it’s not the status quo now.

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  RHP User

  5 years ago

  I’ve just joined, am a 43 year young lesbian. My tastes have definitely refined and misaligned in the same phase. Help!

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  RHP User

  5 years ago

  A 'paradox' indeed; waking up and suddenly realising you're 54. 😉

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  RHP User

  5 years ago

  With age it's not that your desires wants or fantasy changes just your ability to make it happen. More how people perceive YOU. You're looking through the same eyes that apart from when you look in the mirror at the saggy bits, don't feel much different to when you were in your 30's. It would be nice to have more time and willing and able conspirators to fulfil the bucket list before the sands of time run out.

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