F63
Avon Calling
January 29 2010
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
Oh no.. you mean I shouldn't have mentioned the three toed sloths, the snails or the tortoises? I was having so much fun with the idea of slo mo sex I didnt give any consideration at all about how sensitive things have gotten around here.. and for that I am truly sorry..... but anyone interested in my slo mo classes can make bookings directly. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Holy bush administration batman!!! I didnt know RHP had employed a full time censor type person.... Crikey...there goes my next post.. who were u doing when u heard rudd ate ear wax? or What/who do you fantasize about when your slappin the salami or rubbing the key to success??? (cos that could be very revealing not to mention...controversial) ps: sorry devine...i dont wear makeup :-(
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RHP User
16 years ago
I can't believe you didn't mention the fragrances, skin care, personal care and the gifts and household items Avon covers these days...And as you know... I don't wear make-up either lolol... but their clearance catalogues are the best!!!Love n hugs... Deb PS: It was obviously meant to be, I need a new reputable Avon Rep! You're not toying with me I hope!
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RHP User
16 years ago
mmm my last avon lady knew what i wanted and needed- lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
Im not quite sure if you what you are thinking you need and want is that same as what im thinking you need an want!!If you would like think about which products you think Avon and I can supply for you, and of course not offend anyones sensibilities please.... I and others would be delighted to hear from you.Myname and Peachy... women as lovely as yrselves certainly need no artificial enhancementsTrish, my advice to you is get a supply of quality plastic bags, slip over the offenders head and tie tightly at the neckline, Im positive this will stop most of the comments and suggestions for your beauty needs ( and make the world a better place) Devine xxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
But I couldn't afford it cos I spent all my profits and then some... I kinda like devine's cheap but effective solution lolol... that's what you want in an Avon lady... someone who's looking out for your interests And then there's a whole new topic on 'Picky picky picky, they don't deserve a moment of your time', there. Quoting 'customer69' I remember receiving gorgeous little lipstick samples and other cute things like that...Avon ladies are such good sorts and so much fun!Perhaps I need some polyfiller and something to tame my feral curls...a couple of men told me recently, that I either, look a bit crinkly (due to sun damage), or need to wear more makeup (and try to trick them?), do something with my curls, if I want to go out with them...My first reaction, was stunned silence (unusual for a chatterbox)...I then considered, not using my quiet library voice and telling them to fcuk off, but was very restrained. I almost went to Bunnings, to buy some of their polyfiller, as a joke, because I am a wicked girl.I can wear more make up, or put a bag over my head. But my curls, go wherever I go. If you don't like them, go jump! I only straighten my hair occasionally, because it damages my curls! They are a lot of fun during sex...Trish
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dev,Would you mind dropping a catalogue off to me? I need some new moisturiser, due to the heat, I have skin like an elephant at the moment...Oh no!!! I said the dreaded word!!! I apologise sincerely... no wait, NO I DON'T.ELEPHANT!!!! Viking
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RHP User
16 years ago
If you would be so kid as to pop over at yr own convenience I shall bath you in a tub of my best facial cream. NB: err boys in the circle jerk,can u get back to me asap please ? lol Dev
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dev,Okies, that's fine. Does your bathroom have elephants like Baded's did?VB
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RHP User
16 years ago
My bathroom does indeed have elephants,,, what it doesnt have is mirrors coated in cum :) feel free to decorate as you wish
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RHP User
16 years ago
I shall make it known to the MasterFiend that he no longer needs to go to Africa... And then I'll have to let the zoo know to post armed guards outsid the elephant enclosure...VBThe Wet One!
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RHP User
16 years ago
has elephants and inkisnt that fascinating
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RHP User
16 years ago
Did u know!!!!! elephants mate for one week at a time..... ;)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting Devine45 Myname and Peachy... women as lovely as yrselves certainly need no artificial enhancements Oh! merci belle dame! xxxx How come its always the ladies who say such lovely things? Anna
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RHP User
16 years ago
Oh I know Devine... how is it that so many mirrors are dripping? Its refreshing to know that I am not the only narcissist... Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Might need to order some lube from avon..... the female elephant may need it :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have to say trips darling for a weeks mating at one time the Avon product wont live up to its promise.Try Wet Stuff Gold instead Customer 69: tis better yr feet are knocked about and not upDevout Devine xxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
LMAO devvy........Ok i willtake your advice hun.... lol is it ttried and tested??? Willlet uknow the outcum!
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RHP User
16 years ago
well trips you seen what they got to work with....very off putting probly lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
Oops I will let u know the out cum!! is what i meant to say :P
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RHP User
16 years ago
And neither do I....The sperm of a MOUSE is longer than the sperm of an elephant. Mice are highly promiscuous and need particularly large testes to keep up with demand.When you look at that, mice do have large testicles, and if elephants were randy fukkas as well, then their balls would be the size of Volkswagon cars. (Or that's my vision anyway)VB
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RHP User
16 years ago
Oh dear what a mix....... lol and nite ya cheeky shyte!!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
I wondered if you had anything for my mouse... it's all sticky and jerky {does it have anything to do with it being of the 'Trackman Marble' Variety cos I stroke and roll the ball around a lot instead of having to roll the poor mouse around on the desk? } and getting slow as an elephant. I guess what I need to know is, do I clean it or is it a simple matter of lubrication to get me rolling again?Appreciate your 'devine' intervention with this sticky situation :-)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Mrs P, The answer to this is to rub your mouse on the nether regions of your local elephant. You'd be surprised how well the mouse moves after this treatment. Worked a treat for my former housemate, and also imparted an interesting flavour to their chips that they were eating with the same hand used to move the mouse. However, my current housemate has banned elephants from cumming... errr... coming anywhere near their mouse.But as a serious answer, you need to wash your ball Mrs P, there's nothing worse than sticky balls...Yours in slickness,Viking
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey Mrs PeachyIm so glad VB has answered that sticky question for you. She is the master? mistress? mattress? in these matters, I bow to her knowledge.Mind you I am more than happy to help you wash your ballsisnt it nice to know elephants and mice can be mentioned in the chat forums, ( what about gerbils tho)??????Dev xxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Mrs P, I concure with Lady Viking. After all she has had a long and intimate familiarity with elephant nether regions and sticky balls. Ed
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RHP User
16 years ago
My my my!How honoured am Ito have so many with noushelp me with my mouseThat ball I gently gave a washnot using anyfink poshBut the cursor's still a little stickyand running a bit dickyMayhap that's to do with the lasersimilar to but not the same as a taserFollows my commands with nary a squeakA click, no need aloud to speakBut every so often the cursor will freezethen the ball I have to jiggle and teasewhich isn't that big a problembut is it healthy to pick up balls n drop 'em Please help me... I beseech theeYours, most sincerely... Mrs Peachy
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RHP User
16 years ago
i thought elephants were scared of mice.to many comics,sorry,Earl, lol.nice poem though, M.P.
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