F62
Being outed
June 21 2015
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
We spoke to a woman who seemed keen to meet... Her profile stated she had an open relationship. We exchanged some hot messages and opened our galleries... She must have then showed her husband who happened to reconise me ( the husband). He reconised me from our "straight life" apparently. Instead of keeping it all discrete, he then took screen shots and sent them to a person we both know, who in turn sent them to a mutual friend of ours trying to get me in trouble ... Claiming my wife wouldn't be doing this and my profile must be a fake couples profile. The friend he sent it to knows me in my professional work related world. What a dead set drop kick ... Pot calling the kettle black... The worst thing is, I don't know who it is... The person the original couple sent it to, although I know him partially, we never got along... He then sent it to my mate.... But the original couple who recognised me, we don't know who they are as we never saw face pics. Some people need to get a life and stop sticking their noses into others. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
That sucks! I agree about the "A woman is only a slut if she won't sleep with you". Poor form. Love the last three sentences of your OP. Good for you! (I once had my posts and profile pic screen-capped and sent to my employer by a female poster. Now that was fun.)
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm with you on the face pic. To quote you, OP: "Judge me as you will, Im not taking my photo down and hiding my face, I'm a nice person, with good morals that likes sex. Fucking shoot me."
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MissBishere
11 years ago
happy to show mine. I always have had it in full view since I joined. People that out others are the lowest form of humans. I have no shame for being here and stand by everything I post. I don't think any of my friends would be shocked to see me here or read things I post because bottom line they don't judge me. so sorry it happened to you but love the way you are handling it. missb
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander'I agree about the "A woman is only a slut if she won't sleep with you". A slut screws everyone... A bitch screws everyone but ME...
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RHP User
11 years ago
You are a good person with better morals than the nameless one...there are more important "moral" issues than something as pleasant and natural as sex...Good to see a good looking girl come out with a face piccie too I couldn't have said this any better if I spent 6 months in the library... Judge me as you will, Im not taking my photo down and hiding my face, I'm a nice person, with good morals that likes sex. Fucking shoot me.
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twowithnolimits
11 years ago
The hypocrisy flows when people out others for being on them same site(s) as themselves.... Lets hope karma visits all the low lifes!
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RHP User
11 years ago
It reminds me of the lady who recently married the Swedish Prince. She is gorgeous but all the news articles say about her is that she is an ex-glamour model becoming a Princess. Would they be making such a bit deal about her (ex) profession if she was an accountant or teacher? The double standards of the so called friend of your date should be questioned by the mate he is trying to protect! If it is ok for him to be on this site then why can't you? Hypocrisy is alive and well unfortunately. He had an opportunity to say, wow, you lucky man to have found someone into sex ... good for you! He missed his chance of being someone who embraces what being on RHP is all about. More power to you OP. LG
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' happy to show mine. I always have had it in full view since I joined. People that out others are the lowest form of humans. I have no shame for being here and stand by everything I post. I don't think any of my friends would be shocked to see me here or read things I post because bottom line they don't judge me. so sorry it happened to you but love the way you are handling it. missb Ok, just for this one
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RHP User
11 years ago
Don't try to understand it, we struggle with it our selves. When our mouths move there is always a little brown that comes out, we don't mean to do so but we don't know our selves, what we want, or how to get it. Stack our egos against our mates and the battle is mostly lost. What are the feelings of a stranger worth when a mate gives you a poke? Oh did I say male, I meant human mind.
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RHP User
11 years ago
"Judge me as you will, Im not taking my photo down and hiding my face, I'm a nice person, with good morals that likes sex. Fucking shoot me." Me too
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RHP User
11 years ago
have had my face pic on display for ages now since the thread by on safari. Yep, I am proud of who I am and no afraid if people see my face pic on a sex site. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sorry you had to experience that & agree with Leo_girl that hypocrisy and double standards are alive and well. Unfortunately. I'm joining the face pic 'rebellion', although it doesn't mean much, because I hid my profile this morning for reasons totally unrelated to your post. So only the forum readers will get to see my mug :)
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
Miss Red..... What a beautiful face you have too, as do all the other lovely people in here.....💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
Astrild and lovinit, I miss both your faces... lovely to see them, even if it's only on the screen xxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
So many kissable ladies...
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
I was thinking the same thing.....💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
...we're supposed to be modern people now and share the respect...not just save it for the bro's.For every 2 steps forward that women are taking, it's like your being pushed back one. Disappointing to see. On another note, it's great to see you ladies breaking out the face photos...I hope this is the start of something.I'm a face man...
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Tart_Du_Jour
11 years ago
But I just LOVE your hair Rubensque. Just gorgeous.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well done.I have my own reasons to keep my face hidden.But I really respect those that can out themselves.*Meander, that's just poor form of a poster to send things to your employer. I don't want to detract from Red's post, so I may start another.Have a great week every one.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Rebenesque, I actually always thought, the saying was something like, "Your a slut, for sleeping with a man on the first date, and a hard ass bitch when you refuse his overtures." Perhaps my naive mistake was naively believing that RHP was a legit dating site, but after being on here and moving to a 'legit vanilla dating site' I've got just a few things to say. The gentleman on the vanilla dating (and we won't name names) site in question would have to be the most conservative, staid bunch of characters I have ever come across. I've felt like I'm dating my grandfather. And, it's almost necessary to write War and Peace before getting to a first date. (I'm a mere mortal, and my time is precious.) Personally cough up 30 minutes of your life and $4.00 for a coffee or if you're a big spender $10 for a glass of wine to actually meet in real life and see if there is any real life interests and chemistry. And for the record, after trawling through these so called 'vanilla' sites - I have seen many a male profile pic along with a user name quite similar in stature to this site. The only difference being the gentleman on the salacious RHP wants no commitment. I almost ruined the keyboard one evening by spitting the coffee onto it, when these so called commitment phobics on RHP are on these vanilla sites with declarations of looking for undying love, and monogamous commitment. (A lifetime of completing 'spot the difference' cartoons enables such comparisons.) People are people. They don't change, just because they are on site A as apposed to site B. What is even more laughable is that these same men will hook up with the conservative nice girl and then complain a decade later when they that are offered sex only when the planets, moon and stars are in perfect alignment by the nice girl from next door. Don't worry Rubenesque, he may have well let the love of his life slip by and never know it. Whisper my mantra. "His loss. Any man would be lucky to have me in his life." And quietly move on to greener pastures...... and smirk on the inside that he doesn't know what he is missing out on!
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RHP User
11 years ago
My photos in private due to my job as a health professional. But that type of outing sucks. So my face pic is now public. I'm not Ashamed that I like sex.
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RHP User
11 years ago
His profile proclaimed how "discrete/discreet" he was.....?!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well said! I, too, have met the same guys on here and vanilla sites and they are looking for completely different things on each one. I dont hide my face because at my age I really dont care what people think of me being on an honest dating site. It really angers me that RHPers are seen as a bunch of sexual deviants who should be avoided by "normal" people. The people Ive met off here and are now my friends are awesome people, they have big hearts and Im proud to call them my friends. (Girls and guys). Rubenesque....shoot me too!Looking forward to the Meet and Greet in October. Feel the love in the room, people xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
If you want to out me go right ahead...the fall out falls where it will If you want be spick and span watch out for the fan
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Bazingal' Well done.I have my own reasons to keep my face hidden.But I really respect those that can out themselves.*Meander, that's just poor form of a poster to send things to your employer. I don't want to detract from Red's post, so I may start another.Have a great week every one. It's great to see all those happy faces coming out, I'll bet you smile at your reflections as you wash your faces in the morning,
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thank you everyone, I do appreciate your comments. As today has worn on I have faltered between shame & anger. The comment from my date that really pissed me off the most, is that I am just as bad if not worse than my ex.... I caught my ex of 11 years up to his balls in my best friend, in my house while I was home.... But yes I can see why having a profile on a "sex site" as a female and showing my face is so much worse than that lol regardless of whether I fuck 1, none or 1752. I'm a slut. How embarrassing for him. Should I have at once taken my profile down or at least hidden my face as soon as I decided to go on a date with mr vanilla. Mr vanilla who was splashing my photo around to his mates, without my permission. Accomplishing what? Bragging rights? And yet I feel shamed, ashamed that I wanted to have sex when I wasn't ready for any deeper commitment. Something that I am now coming around to recognising that I am ready for again. And yet those very few special ones that I have connected with on here, mean the world to me. They've made me happy, made me cry, made me scream & made me sigh. One seriously cops my bitch switch at times too. 😐 (Sorry 😞) They have held me when we're sleeping, loved & cared for me in their own way, talked to me honestly, never judged me or shamed me and have just simply been my friend. That's enough vanilla dating for me....it's where the weird judgemental sexless ones are 😊 and they call us deviates lol Kisses RR 💋💋💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
but keeping my face photo private for 2 reasons 1, I have had photos of me stolen online before 2, I do have a professional standing I have to safeguard - I would love to think that society is able to separate professional life from personal life but as so many examples have proven that is still not case. Sadly. People loooooove to gossip and take the piss out of someone else - even strangers- therefore I choose to show my bum instead :)
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tylannister
11 years ago
I can certainly understand those that want or need to keep their face pics private. But I'm in agreement - there's no excuse for hypocrisy. I'm sorry this has happened to you, RR. That's a shit bloke there. I'm using the profile pic I've used on a vanilla site - I should be consistent with this furry mug, right? And I'm with KoolGrey - I'm a face man. It's truly lovely to see everyone's faces here. And it's great to see the members of the forum coming together in support.
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RHP User
11 years ago
"Judge me as you will, Im not taking my photo down and hiding my face, I'm a nice person, with good morals that likes sex. Fucking shoot me." I'm sorry to read about what happened, and the reason for this post. But I think the part I love the most is you're still holding your head high, and standing defiantly and proudly. As you damn well should. And the fact you have inspired others to follow suit, with implied middle fingers raised, is an excellent thing to see. Be proud Madam Rubenesque. I'm proud just to have read that. And I'm following suit and displaying my face pic too. I normally do anyway, as I've never given a damn if I'm recognised. I make no apologies for who I am or what I enjoy...
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RHP User
11 years ago
There is not much you can do but be who you are.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm really sad to hear this RR and others, hugs. Sadly it says as much about some of our "friends" as it does about the toads who do the "outing". If someone sent me a illicit pic of a friend I'd give them a fucking earful and turn them in. None of their fucking business what anyone does in private (subject to being legal, sane etc...) I'm possibly more on the front foot than some here... Because for various reasons I can. If a friend can't handle or is freaked out that I'm in here, then that just shows me that THEY are not someone required in my life. My RSVP gf was a little freaked about my "donkey sites" as she calls them... But she appreciates the skills acquired... ;) Family, I understand are a different kettle of fish, my sisters know that I'm internet dating... On vanilla and "more colorful" sites... Lol. My mother has never asked a question about anyone I've dated since my divorce... Even when I bring them up in conversation, but again that's her problem. Hp xo Because you're worth it...
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'Jack_Denials' If you want to out me go right ahead...the fall out falls where it will If you want be spick and span watch out for the fan Such passion!! lol. Nice to you put up your mug shot as well... Now I send your pic to the resident bunny boilers...
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Bravo Red, Bravo. I love the in -your-face courage, honesty and integrity of your post. It totally reflects what I have thought about you all along. Person of integrity and inner strength to recover from that situation and rise above it. To the ugly outers, terrible and shameful obnoxious behaviour from supposedly grown-ups. Just abominable. Shame on you in your lack of respect and discretion.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Josie8' Perhaps my naive mistake was naively believing that RHP was a legit dating site, but after being on here and moving to a 'legit vanilla dating site' I've got just a few things to say. The gentleman on the vanilla dating (and we won't name names) site in question would have to be the most conservative, staid bunch of characters I have ever come across. I've felt like I'm dating my grandfather. And, it's almost necessary to write War and Peace before getting to a first date. (I'm a mere mortal, and my time is precious.) Personally cough up 30 minutes of your life and $4.00 for a coffee or if you're a big spender $10 for a glass of wine to actually meet in real life and see if there is any real life interests and chemistry. And for the record, after trawling through these so called 'vanilla' sites - I have seen many a male profile pic along with a user name quite similar in stature to this site. The only difference being the gentleman on the salacious RHP wants no commitment. I almost ruined the keyboard one evening by spitting the coffee onto it, when these so called commitment phobics on RHP are on these vanilla sites with declarations of looking for undying love, and monogamous commitment. (A lifetime of completing 'spot the difference' cartoons enables such comparisons.) People are people. They don't change, just because they are on site A as apposed to site B. People will still be the same and want whatever it is they want regardless of how many dating sites they're on or which sites they're on. I have seen many of the same people across 3 or 4 different sites and noticed differences in their profiles and thought, well, no point in meeting that person because I've met them via another site and already know what they are really like.There' d be no point in anyone trying to "out" me here.If this was brought up to my family, friends or colleagues including the manager at work, they'd simply say "Oh we know she's on RHP, she's told us"
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Seachange73
11 years ago
I'm putting up a pic of my teeny bum instead. My way of MOONing the obnoxious outers in support of Red...
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RHP User
11 years ago
What a crap thing to happen R.Red, what a shame some peoples minds are not open and accept other opinions blindly without having a good look at RHP first. I find the sites thing interesting. I hear much the same thing happening to mostly women on this or the so called vanilla sites. Calling RHP a sex site is ridiculous, sure that is more apparent here but I have made some good friends and find it very interactive and social. Besides I really have had more luck with meetings on the vanilla sites.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nice support with the face pics ladies. And you are forgiven for the opposite end for your support Lily. Bum shots are okay
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RHP User
11 years ago
...... I do not consider this a sex site .... I would describe it as a dating site which prequafies people to specific interests ...... ...... I consider it the ' most' honest ( expedient) form of trying to find a partner...... and honesty runs the best chance of success for all ..... ...... I'm sad to hear you story RR .... and shocked to of Mea's outing in her work place ..... ..... whether we are here transparently .... of under the radar ..... for what what ever reason ..... no one wants to hear 'slut' or 'cheat' in Isle #5 over the tanoy at woolies ..... ...... and if we are discussing morals here, then I believe that this act of betrayal is far more more morally bankrupt ..... Kind regards Ulysses ....... public avenger - Posted from rhpmobile
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JessicaRabbit
11 years ago
That is terrible! What an arse. That's just insecurity and jealousy on his part, no doubt. I've had people recognise me out in public when I've had clear face photos up and I'll do the freak out and hide my face for a while...But then I realise I just don't care. If they're the judging type, they aren't worth a second date anyway as there's obviously not going to be any sexual compatibility. He saved you some wasted time, I say! Jess xx
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'TisonlyI' What a crap thing to happen R.Red, what a shame some peoples minds are not open and accept other opinions blindly without having a good look at RHP first. I find the sites thing interesting. I hear much the same thing happening to mostly women on this or the so called vanilla sites. Calling RHP a sex site is ridiculous, sure that is more apparent here but I have made some good friends and find it very interactive and social. Besides I really have had more luck with meetings on the vanilla sites. I agree. I am not getting any sex at all!!! I want my money back...
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cleopatrababe
11 years ago
Never be ashamed of being human ..we are who we are ..stand up be proud your business is noones business your sex life u own ..at least on rhp we are open and honest not like other sites that hide behind a veil of claiming to be in them for so called relationships ..most lie and most want sex simple honesty ..upfront and tell it how it is ..u have nothing to hide - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's disgusting that such a stigma is placed on people being on a site like RHP....and let's face it, women are treated particularly harshly in that regard. Unfortunately the good ol' madonna / whore dichotomy is still alive and well in many people's minds. Can't admit you like sex *shock horror*...that definitely means you're no good for a relationship and you'll open your legs for anyone. It's total bullshit. I actually think that there are still quite a lot of men out there who are intimidated by sexually confident women. Please note that I am not man bashing, #notallmen yada yada. Obviously the majority of men on this site can handle and even desire a woman who knows what she wants and who isn't willing to conform to tired old expectations of how women should behave. I've had my face pic up before as my profile pic and never really needed to be concerned about it, but I've realised that soon I probably won't be able to show my face due to uni placement and then work reasons. Particularly when I'm in smaller cities and towns. I hate the fact that I will need to restrict myself in that way, but I also know the reality of the world we live in and I just won't be able to risk it. I do know, however, that I could never be friends with anyone who would judge me negatively for being on here, I could never tolerate that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Boo to the sucky turds who think it's ok to judge you like that! I've been a victim of someone sharing information about me that they'd learned on here before too, and I was shocked that anyone would think that was ok. It restores my faith in humanity to read everyone's comments on this thread. I'll just echo their thoughts, Red. I'm proud of you. And it really is lovely to see some familiar faces popping up on here in those lovely supportive profile pics (although I'm sure no one knows who I am ... I'll be back properly soon I hope!)
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MsJonesy
11 years ago
But for others who choose to do so and then be judged because of their visibility on this site is just not on. What about the bloke who exposed RR; has any one accused him of trolling for sex? The double standards are just ridiculous. For me, it is not my friends who would judge, but the people I work with. I am in an occupation which requires some discretion. By placing my face in my private gallery I can still allow people to see me, but when I am in ready to do so. Were it not for that I would be happy to 'out' myself.
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
Beautiful picture.....💋
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MissBishere
11 years ago
i always picture you riding on a dragons back with your hair in a plait. totally loving the face pics and the support being shown here. love and kisses to you all 💋❤️
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think people do it for two reasons: 1. To make the other person look bad (because they're jealous, feel rejected/slighted/whatever), which in return makes them feel better 2. To make themselves look better to spectators (by taking the other down a few notches) In my view people who have a need to behave this way don't feel good about themselves, nor believe others think highly of them. A sad and lonely place to be in, in my view.
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'tylannister' I can certainly understand those that want or need to keep their face pics private. But I'm in agreement - there's no excuse for hypocrisy. I'm sorry this has happened to you, RR. That's a shit bloke there. I'm using the profile pic I've used on a vanilla site - I should be consistent with this furry mug, right? And I'm with KoolGrey - I'm a face man. It's truly lovely to see everyone's faces here. And it's great to see the members of the forum coming together in support. I like your new pic.
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
You've nailed it lovely..... That's exactly why people do it.....💋
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tylannister
11 years ago
Quoting 'lilyorchid' I like your new pic. Thanks - I'm a big fan of yours, too.
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RHP User
11 years ago
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RHP User
11 years ago
You deserve better. Big hugs. MrsSAF xx
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Seachange73
11 years ago
is never the In thing to do... It happens on both sides of the fence too... Both men and women do out some people and it quite distasteful. It is amazing how we all reacted, both sexes, towards the act of outing, in all its different forms. And rightly so. Despite this site being labelled a 'sex' site, the strong reaction by the members here should be a reminder that we all still value our privacy and discretion is still held high in our list of 'good' behaviours in dealing with each other. Good to really see the people standing together to condemn such a childish and disgusting behaviour. Well done people. Well done Red for bringing this topic to the forefront of unacceptable behaviour.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Rubenesque_Red' Thank you everyone, I do appreciate your comments. As today has worn on I have faltered between shame & anger. The comment from my date that really pissed me off the most, is that I am just as bad if not worse than my ex.... I caught my ex of 11 years up to his balls in my best friend, in my house while I was home.... But yes I can see why having a profile on a "sex site" as a female and showing my face is so much worse than that lol regardless of whether I fuck 1, none or 1752. I'm a slut. Rubenesque, Why? For wanting to have great sex?Men do it all the time and no one bats an eye lid. I had the exact same conversation with a friend on email the other night, after I told him that I felt like I’m slut because I like to have sex every now and again.I asked him if he was ok with me posting this here, and his exact response, was…. "Now about the whole 'wanting sex' thing. Nothing 'slutty' about it at all. That's exactly how I feel too. After ending my marriage I had a long 'dry spell' and eventually realised that I wanted some sex, so I went and got it. No guilt on my part and nor should there be any on your part for wanting the same. Sites like RHP, &^%, and, &%^ etc are all just tools at your disposal to help you to get what you want. If they don't give you the results you're after then try something different. “ What I would say though is, we all need to remember, it’s a man’s world. We’ll be equal with men, when we get to enter the men’s room and join them at the same trough. I came onto RHP, because I’d seriously spent my life living under a rock. What I’d been doing wasn’t working, so I decided that having spent my life being a Miss Goody Two shoes that I needed to actually get out and see the world, and date. Something I’d never done up until the beginning of last year. It’s changed me, it’s changed my view of life and it’s given me a whole new view into the psyche of the male mind.It’s been an eye opener in every sense of the word being here. My last experience on a ‘Vanilla dating website’, was swiftly halted, a little while back, when this lovely, and I’m sure he is a very nice man, thought an appropriate response to ‘catching’ his partner watch pornography was to confront her and argue with her about it? Seriously, WTF………And I can’t honestly say that getting my daily dose of porn is on my hit list of daily must dos!But it sent serious alarm bells off for me, because that statement to me says that the sex is going to get very boring very fast. What I do know is I want any next relationship to be with someone who’s open to saying yes, rather than no. There should be a first time for everything. If there is a true connection with someone you should be able to ask anything each other, without fear that you’ll be thought of as lewd, weird or stupid.And, you should be able to tell each other anything anything about your fantasies or past without the fear of being judged.If you’re made to feel uncomfortable, run for the hills. They aren’t the person for you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' Well said! I, too, have met the same guys on here and vanilla sites and they are looking for completely different things on each one. Some have openly said they're on RHP to find randoms to fuck, and on the vanilla sites for something real and women they can respect. They seriously do not see the hypocrisy of their statements considering they're on both (or more) sites themselves.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Heaven forbid you are a strong confident woman in charge of her sexuality. These limped dicked tiny egos, try to make people like nothing better than making people feel bad. Well screw them, be you and be proud - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Perhaps it's as simple as this. Perhaps My outer sees RHP as a place where the women on are whores. Just gagging for any dick to come along. As opposed to me who sees it as an honest way to meet people, no different to any other dating site. Except that sex can be discussed upfront. Perhaps it's the perception of what this site is, and how they use it, that sets the judgement.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'lilyorchid' Quoting 'TisonlyI' What a crap thing to happen R.Red, what a shame some peoples minds are not open and accept other opinions blindly without having a good look at RHP first. I find the sites thing interesting. I hear much the same thing happening to mostly women on this or the so called vanilla sites. Calling RHP a sex site is ridiculous, sure that is more apparent here but I have made some good friends and find it very interactive and social. Besides I really have had more luck with meetings on the vanilla sites. I agree. I am not getting any sex at all!!! I want my money back... You can't tell you can't get...you're just being fussy. That or you'll do anything for money
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RHP User
11 years ago
Way to go well said and so honest and being real Rube
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RHP User
11 years ago
That's a terrible experience! As a sexually liberal woman you deserve better than a man who's going to judge you, but even so his buddy is an idiot for 'outing' you! I've recently put a face pic up here, and now anytime I'm out and make eye contact with people, I feel like they recognise me from here! But you said it so well - "Judge me as you will, Im not taking my photo down and hiding my face, I'm a nice person, with good morals that likes sex. Fucking shoot me.".
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't get it really. Maybe I mix in the wrong circles, maybe there is a class of men who dont think with there dicks and are looking only for love, marriage, 2.5 kids, home, and picket fence. Though why look for a young 44 year old when that is the goal. Are men really so unattracted by sexually liberated women. All the men I know find women that are free of the outdated puritanical morality, extremely desirable, and that is most understated. Unless this guy was from some right wing nose bleed patriarchal dominated religious sect I think the excuse that was used to get out of the second date was not fact, but rather something more cynical. I have never known a man to turn tale and run when told, "Watch out she is an easy root." (not implying you are OP). Men are simpletons when it comes to sexuality, in their minds a lose woman means she may be really good at giving head, and second date is near as good as first base. Though the alternative is the possible, the guys friends knows you are on RHP makes the assumption you are a free thinking liberated sexually active woman, but the first date did not result in a "root" The warning bells ring, if she is not after you for sex, OMG nooooo... run man run... she thinks you are relationship material. So many comments in this post and other posts about men thinking "slutty" women (by inference of being on RHP) are to be avoided shows little understanding of the male mind. Or maybe I am living under a rock, and men prefer to avoid sex in favour of committed long term monogamous relationships? I don't know, I get so confused sometimes.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The outing came a week after the no show for our date.
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RHP User
11 years ago
He was still trying to reschedule the 2nd date up until the day I was outed. Just to clear up any confusion this is the first message I received, it went downhill from there. Probably because I told him I had nothing to be defensive or sorry for. It was 1 date....Oh but I do lie about my age on RHP oops 😐 I was drinking at my friends house when he drew my attention to something. I was spitting bullets everywhere but I've come home, sobered up and thought about it before sending you a text. I understand that we are not in a relationship, although I thought that was where we where going but to find you have an alter ego called Rubenesque Red on an adult sex dating site. Now Carl tells me you are a regular visitor and you change your picture and profile message, your also claiming your 44. He said you changed your profile headline to "off the market, found a man whose a lucky person" when we first went out to the Crown, now it reads "eat me, not quiche" with a different profile picture saying your 44. So now here I sit, wondering what's going on. You did mention that earlier you had a couple of friends with benefits but you then said you where looking for a real relationship yet your still trolling the adult sex sites looking for hook ups. To say I'm confused and disappointed is putting it mildly. I don't own you and I would never tell you to do something but if you really are looking for a real relationship why are you still active on sex hook up sites. It's up to you now. You can explain or you can move forwards, ignoring that you are as bad as your ex partner.
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RHP User
11 years ago
what a low life.I'm sure that from that high moral ground he see right up his own arse...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Had a lucky escape ,imagine if you had spent significant time with this small minded man..Your friend did you a huge favour..send them chocolates xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
I suspect there must have been a lot more than one date, because that sounds like a jealous rant from him. I am not saying you miss lead him, too many guys will think they own you in a monogamous way if the first date went (at least in their minds) well. So there must have been a fair bit of communication between the two of you before the out. If not then I still think it is the same deal. From his message he is jealous, though only of imagined others, he fears his insecure imagination. I don't believe for a second there is a Carl. Guys don't keep an eye out for a mates date, especially only one date. We actually are happy for our friends to find love and help it along, only real arseholes would put a spanner in the works. I would say have a search for a profile that fits his description and location. He was a bit of a dick, and put his all in but pushed too far. If you like him you will have to put some type of commitment in, which is unfair on you, but for love we do crazy things. He feels threatened, he likes you but some guys find a confident women threatening, and he spat the dummy because you where not reassuring him as he wanted, which was you on his lead. Its up to you what you do, and that will depend on how you feel about him. My take.He has lied to you, he has insulted you, he has put conditions on you, and used a guilt trip to try and get his way. Saying he has a mate checking on you is such bullshit, so he is also stalking you on RHP. And the last lineQoute:"You can explain or you can move forwards, ignoring that you are as bad as your ex partner." No way in hell would I accept that, I dont know what your ex did, I dont care, but that is a direct personal insult. Doing that after just one date is a good sign that that is normal behaviour from him. He is an arsehole. If you get into a relationship he will continue this type of mind game. Its not because he thinks you are a slut, it because he is insecure and fears you will find someone better and wave him off. Which I think you should do. You dodged a bullet. Only my opinion based on what I have read. As for lying about your age, naughty girl! But who cares he only made a point about it to throw guilt. I think you should go to Auntie Annie's thread and get her to give you a good spanking, one for each year you where out by. LOL If he had to find out your real age via your profile then you had him duped, a good thing I should think. :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
How did you respond Red? Did you go tell him to go Fk himself? He sounds like a prude. You should send him the link to this topic. Bwahahaha.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Rubenesque, it sounds like you had a lucky escape. Don't understand how someone can expect 'exclusivity' after one date? Followed by a no-show for the second!? When I start seeing someone new - be it from RHP or a vanilla site - I assume that he's seeing other people, because I sure am. This guy must be extremely naive. And he probably felt threatened by the realisation that he's not your only option lol. And as for his friend that outed you... well, he's a douche bag through and through. But regardless, you shouldn't have to be asked to explain yourself. I'm with Meeka, I hope you told him to go fuck himself.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'This Total Douche'I don't own you and I would never tell you to do something but if you really are looking for a real relationship why are you still active on sex hook up sites. It's up to you now. You can explain or you can move forwards, ignoring that you are as bad as your ex partner. I'm on RHP, so I'm "trolling the adult sex sites looking for hook ups". Thanks for the heads up Mr Douche, I had no idea!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Rubenesque_Red' He was still trying to reschedule the 2nd date up until the day I was outed. Just to clear up any confusion this is the first message I received, it went downhill from there. Probably because I told him I had nothing to be defensive or sorry for. It was 1 date....Oh but I do lie about my age on RHP oops 😐 I was drinking at my friends house when he drew my attention to something. I was spitting bullets everywhere but I've come home, sobered up and thought about it before sending you a text. I understand that we are not in a relationship, although I thought that was where we where going but to find you have an alter ego called Rubenesque Red on an adult sex dating site. Now Carl tells me you are a regular visitor and you change your picture and profile message, your also claiming your 44. He said you changed your profile headline to "off the market, found a man whose a lucky person" when we first went out to the Crown, now it reads "eat me, not quiche" with a different profile picture saying your 44. So now here I sit, wondering what's going on. You did mention that earlier you had a couple of friends with benefits but you then said you where looking for a real relationship yet your still trolling the adult sex sites looking for hook ups. To say I'm confused and disappointed is putting it mildly. I don't own you and I would never tell you to do something but if you really are looking for a real relationship why are you still active on sex hook up sites. It's up to you now. You can explain or you can move forwards, ignoring that you are as bad as your ex partner. This is for real, isn't it? We aren't being hit up here for a late April fools day joke, are we? ONE DATE and this guy thinks he's heading towards a relationship! I want you all to know that I mean no offence or harm to any man walking this planet (or any woman) but this is the male version of the needy, insecure female desperate for a relationship! ANY RELATIONSHIP will do! How can you possibly even know that you want a relationship with a person after only ONE DATE and you haven't even gotten to the second date. A chick did this, the guy would be running running a mile. I'd have messaged back. Bite me! and Hard. We aren't exclusive you haven't asked me to be exclusive and I'm on the market and dating until such time as a guy asks me to be exclusively his! The guy probably only likes having sex at 6pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He probably likes to keep his socks on so his toes stay warm. In all seriousness, crack open the french champagne and congratulate yourself on your escape. I rest my case. A Vanilla dating site - it just says it all! Now, I want to know, who is Carl? Don't be shy, feel to introduce yourself to us. We all sit here waiting patiently with baited breath!
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RHP User
11 years ago
In answer to your question, in 5 colourful paragraphs in how he could obtain said fuck off 😀
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm not going to be defensive, because I haven't done anything wrong. I'm not "trolling" for sex. I've been on there a couple of years, showing my full face with nothing to hide. And yes I have had 2 friends with benefits. Which I told you about. I guess 2 men in 2 1/2 years one for 8 months and one for over a year qualifies me as a slut. I told you that I was now looking for more, and that is true. I'm active on there because I read the forums and over time I have made online friends with people male and female that I message regularly. And yes I get messages, lots of them, and I say no. Wouldn't be surprised if your friend was one of the many that I've said no to. Don't kid yourself, I had more disrespectful requests for sex from the so called vanilla dating sites. That's what online dating is, regardless of the name of the site. But good on him for letting you know. That's what friends are for, watching your back. We have had 1 date. I'm not a bad person, but go ahead and judge me. Because 11 years of being cheated on really does equally equate to being found hiding in full view on a dating site by someone I've only met once.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I just didn't think what he wrote was all that bad except for the last line - guy is shocked, confused, and probably took a look around at the "RHP first times" thread with its spit roasts, gangbangs, rope suspensions and double anal fistings... From this fellow's point of view - if it is correct that you changed your status to "off the market", you went out, then flipped it to "available" - what do you expect him to assume? If I saw that, (if it didn't set the "overly attached girlfriend" alarm bells ringing), I'd be flattered by the first change... but then see the "available" and think "crap, guess what I thought was good, wasn't actually"... and then while that's playing in his head, it is to a backdrop montage of moaning and triple penetration. His message could have been shortened to "Hi, I'm a bit confused by your RHP profile, can you explain it to me? I like you, do you like me?" I can't remember if the previous members of the Moral High Horse Cavalry are still on the forum, but I do remember some people being very high and mighty about people not being honest on their profiles, including age. So unfortunately I can't see whether they charged into the thread as backup, rather than sabres n pistols drawn. I just don't see what he wrote as all that bad - I can see how the last line leaves you wanting to say "oh FFS, just fuck off" , but aside from that... "meh, it just sounds like the dude is confused as to what you're looking for"
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Rubenesque_Red' I'm not going to be defensive, because I haven't done anything wrong. I'm not "trolling" for sex. I've been on there a couple of years, showing my full face with nothing to hide. And yes I have had 2 friends with benefits. Which I told you about. I guess 2 men in 2 1/2 years one for 8 months and one for over a year qualifies me as a slut. I told you that I was now looking for more, and that is true. I'm active on there because I read the forums and over time I have made online friends with people male and female that I message regularly. And yes I get messages, lots of them, and I say no. Wouldn't be surprised if your friend was one of the many that I've said no to. Don't kid yourself, I had more disrespectful requests for sex from the so called vanilla dating sites. That's what online dating is, regardless of the name of the site. But good on him for letting you know. That's what friends are for, watching your back. We have had 1 date. I'm not a bad person, but go ahead and judge me. Because 11 years of being cheated on really does equally equate to being found hiding in full view on a dating site by someone I've only met once. fucking perfect.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have lied about my age on RHP since my last birthday on the 5th June 😊 I'm 51, and I don't fucking want to be 51 lol I want to be 44 😁 On the vanilla site where I met him. I am 51. Do I tell anyone I'm interested in chatting to on RHP the truth about my age? Yes. Yes I changed my profile to "off the market" he flatters himself that it was about him. It wasn't. Yes I changed it back to available, after a few weeks, because I can. I'm so lucky that he has his little mate Carl to check on my every profile change lol...anyone want a stalker? Will I change my age back to the truth? Probably not lol As for him, he best be looking for the virginal 50yo with no past, girl next door type, coz it sure as shit ain't me!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well 51 and I thought your RHP age was the right one and you had given the guy a younger age. Personally I have never worried about people's age. If they tell me they are 10 years younger than they are and I believe them it does not mater to me. You should have just kept it secret maybe.. :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
rsvp = adult dating sitepof = adult dating siteokcupid = adult dating siteeharmony = adult dating site rhp = adult dating site I am pretty sure you have to be 18 + to be on these sites. It appears that many men still have their double standard hat on depending on the name of the adult dating site.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You both met on another site and he finds you here - how is irrelevanthe sees someone, reads something other here that doesn't appeal.what was champagne now turns to vinegar why are punishing him.. because he's no longer into you?...or because of being rejected?...
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have absolutely no feelings of rejection. It was one date. After one date and some texting he dreamed up a fantasy life together. he and his friend stalked my profile, probably still are. Thank fuck he doesn't know where I work or live. But of course he isn't the unstable one, I am, it's me punishing him. Because boo fucking hoo my non existent feelings for him are hurt. Kiss my ass. This is not the dark ages where women submit to possessive, obsessed asshole behaviour.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' His message could have been shortened to "Hi, I'm a bit confused by your RHP profile, can you explain it to me? I like you, do you like me?" Exactly. And I think that's a good part of the point here.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Rubenesque_Red' I have lied about my age on RHP since my last birthday on the 5th June 😊 I'm 51, and I don't fucking want to be 51 lol I want to be 44 😁 On the vanilla site where I met him. I am 51. Do I tell anyone I'm interested in chatting to on RHP the truth about my age? It's none of anyone's business how old you are. Say as my Grandmother did her entire life while smiling sweetly, "A women who tells you her age, will tell you anything." And wink. I have been incredibly cheeky in the past and once asked someone what their bank balance was after they asked me my age. The word stunned springs to mind. The look on their face was priceless. I'm betting they didn't ask any one how old they were after that though.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't care if people shave a few years off their age anymore. As long as their pics are real and recent, and actually look like them. Oh, but men better not lie about being over 6ft when they're really not.
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' I don't care if people shave a few years off their age anymore. As long as their pics are real and recent, and actually look like them. Oh, but men better not lie about being over 6ft when they're really not. I dont mind if they shave off a few years and there but a decade? lol. been contacted by so many men here who were supposedly in their mid to late 40s but their saggy fully wrinkled face, white hair, and body seem more like 60+. Like we women couldn't tell. Just insulting. My ex-bf (long time partner) was 55 and he was tall, fit and looked in his 40s - a keen surfer and with a great fashion sense (looks delicious in suits). I dont mind them older and wiser just as long as they carry their age well. Too bad he had to moved interstate to expand his company.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' His message could have been shortened to "Hi, I'm a bit confused by your RHP profile, can you explain it to me? I like you, do you like me?" Exactly. And I think that's a good part of the point here. I think the issue here is twofold: The fact one guy outed Red in public to another, and the other's reaction to the news. He was judgmental, insulting and not only seriously questioned her morals, but insinuated she was untrustworthy. If he had written what you wrote above, giving Red a chance to explain herself before jumping to all kinds of negative conclusions, I doubt he would have gotten an earful. Lily, that's my point about people looking like their pics. I came across two male profiles this week that both had (only) photos time-stamped 2008. A male forumite admitted last year all his pics were 7-8 years old, and he still uses them know. If these people haven't changed at all, then good on 'em. I doubt it. BTW my ex is no 50 and doesn't look a day over 40 (he likes to think 33).
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RHP User
10 years ago
My full face pic in my PG is date stamped 2008 but it was actually only taken a couple of months ago. The date defaults back to manufacture date every time I use it and I keep forgetting to set it before taking pics. Nearly all my pics since 2008 are date stamped the same date! LOL LG
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RHP User
10 years ago
Mine does that every time I switch the battery, good point. All the more reason to get rid of the time stamp.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Rubenesque_Red' I have lied about my age on RHP since my last birthday on the 5th June 😊 I'm 51, and I don't fucking want to be 51 lol I want to be 44 😁 On the vanilla site where I met him. I am 51. Do I tell anyone I'm interested in chatting to on RHP the truth about my age? Yes. Yes I changed my profile to "off the market" he flatters himself that it was about him. It wasn't. Yes I changed it back to available, after a few weeks, because I can. I'm so lucky that he has his little mate Carl to check on my every profile change lol...anyone want a stalker? Will I change my age back to the truth? Probably not lol As for him, he best be looking for the virginal 50yo with no past, girl next door type, coz it sure as shit ain't me! I hope I look that good at 51. That's all I'll say.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'jennifer102' Quoting 'Rubenesque_Red' I have lied about my age on RHP since my last birthday on the 5th June 😊 I'm 51, and I don't fucking want to be 51 lol I want to be 44 😁 On the vanilla site where I met him. I am 51. Do I tell anyone I'm interested in chatting to on RHP the truth about my age? Yes. Yes I changed my profile to "off the market" he flatters himself that it was about him. It wasn't. Yes I changed it back to available, after a few weeks, because I can. I'm so lucky that he has his little mate Carl to check on my every profile change lol...anyone want a stalker? Will I change my age back to the truth? Probably not lol As for him, he best be looking for the virginal 50yo with no past, girl next door type, coz it sure as shit ain't me! I hope I look that good at 51. That's all I'll say. you can't go wrong
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RHP User
10 years ago
Never be ashamed of this shizz, it's jack all in the scheme of things and if people want to judge on account of something so harmless they need to find more to do with their time because they're sorry SOBS. Just respond with a 'knowing' smile, a wink and a carefree attitude. I guarantee you it will piss them off :)
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