M43 F38
Change Of Body & Mind?
April 19 2018
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
...that is one hell of a fabulous effort. My only advice...is to learn to love your scars, they are a major part of making you, who you are....its only April, just a couple of months since your surgery and they will take a little time to loose the redness and settle. The will come a time you will even forget they are there. You have the support of your husband...stuff what anyone else thinks of them.
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EarthQueen
8 years ago
Just don’t put pressure on yourself to get over it. For me, the more I beat myself up about things, the more anxious I can become. Just relax, look after yourself, heal. Don’t worry about the swinging thing. Your health both physical and mental is more important. Authors that have helped me with gaining more self confidence are Louise Hay especially her mirror work book which you might find helpful and Wayne Dyer. Both did a lot for me. Be gentle with yourself it sounds like you have been through a lot 💕 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'EarthQueen' Just don’t put pressure on yourself to get over it. For me, the more I beat myself up about things, the more anxious I can become. Just relax, look after yourself, heal. Don’t worry about the swinging thing. Your health both physical and mental is more important. Authors that have helped me with gaining more self confidence are Louise Hay especially her mirror work book which you might find helpful and Wayne Dyer. Both did a lot for me. Be gentle with yourself it sounds like you have been through a lot 💕 - Posted from rhpmobile Thank you so much, means a lot.Im going to look up the books you have listed.Really Appreciate it xxx
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'EarthQueen' Just don’t put pressure on yourself to get over it. For me, the more I beat myself up about things, the more anxious I can become. Just relax, look after yourself, heal. Don’t worry about the swinging thing. Your health both physical and mental is more important. Authors that have helped me with gaining more self confidence are Louise Hay especially her mirror work book which you might find helpful and Wayne Dyer. Both did a lot for me. Be gentle with yourself it sounds like you have been through a lot 💕 - Posted from rhpmobile Thank you so much, means a lot.Im going to look up the books you have listed.Really Appreciate it xxx
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RHP User
8 years ago
that some people will be bothered by it, and some people won't. You can't pick who or how, but we can't please all the people all the time so there is no point trying. Heck, you might get rejected even before the clothes come off because someone doesn't like your hair, or you aren't tall enough or short enough or too big or to small or.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I was going to add, you are more likely going to be judged for being Collingwood supporters! 😂😂 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I too had gastric sleeve and lost 57kg. Going from a size 24 to a size 12. I still have my saggy skin, flat pancake boobs etc. I am yet to do the surgery but am going to the gym. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you are only a couple of months out from plastic surgery. Give yourself time to heal and you won’t notice the scars so much. Congratulations on your weight loss. I would love to know the Drs name if you could message me. I’m considering going to Thailand. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I too had gastric sleeve and lost 57kg. Going from a size 24 to a size 12. I still have my saggy skin, flat pancake boobs etc. I am yet to do the surgery but am going to the gym. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you are only a couple of months out from plastic surgery. Give yourself time to heal and you won’t notice the scars so much. Congratulations on your weight loss. I would love to know the Drs name if you could message me. I’m considering going to Thailand. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Grant Cant offer any advice on the rest though
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Obsidian' I was going to add, you are more likely going to be judged for being Collingwood supporters! 😂😂 - Posted from rhpmobile I knew i would get sh*t for that photo LOLOLOLOLOLI promise i have all my own teeth!!!!
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AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
Stop people judging you. I get judged all the time. There is no magic to stop that happening. Just be proud of what you have achieved. The only judgment that counts is you judging you and if you pass yourself as the best that you can be, that's what matters. Everyone else is just a transient across your lifeline. I'm not saying it's easy but just love yourself and the rest will follow. It's your life and yours to live it with those that love you. Anyone else, tell them to fuck off if they dont get you. Good luck
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Freaky_Fun
8 years ago
The one thing l have found with swinging is that people are far more accepting than the vanilla world and I have no doubt you are more worried about your body like most of us women than the people around you are. Taking baby steps isn't a bad thing. Oh and I'm a one eyed Collingwood supporter with all my own teeth and a job 😂
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blondes6365
8 years ago
If people cant except you for who you are its there problem not yours hubby had the staples when all this come around yes has scares but thats his make up he is body conscious with scares but is lucky has the hair to cover most scares up doesnt change who you are comes down to personality
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intheswing
8 years ago
Well done 👍 and I agree with freaky fun .A lot of the people in the swinging scene are are not as judgemental there will always be that group that are judgemental and think they are looking for a life partner to put on display when in public instead of a great time with nice people but generally I think women should always be happy to undress in front of men we are rarely critical always grateful I have always told my wife she is beautiful she would say you have rose coloured glass since being on her she has been pleased to see just how many men wear them - Posted from rhpmobile
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Rlee552
8 years ago
I repeat all the comments here about congratulations. Subject to one qualification. This may come across poorly because it is difficult to describe, but I hope it doesn’t because I think what you have achieved is marvellous and spectacular has required a great effort and obviously has been quite a journey. In moving from one body size to another body size you have not moved to a ‘better’ or ‘worst’ you. You are still the same magnificent ‘you’ as you were before. Yes, your body has changed shape and has different features, but your original was not a body you were unhappy with to start with. So congratulations on achieving your goals and the effort you have put in, but in saying that I am not saying your new dress size is in any way better than your old dress size. Yes you will be judged. We are all judged and we all judge others. Usually the worst judge is ourselves. We can be overly self critical. So what. Those that judge you poorly - f**k them, they are not worth the effort. Those who see your magnificence, they are the people worth spending time with.
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curiousnhorny05
8 years ago
I’m currently weighing more than I want to and my greatest fear coming into swinging was I would never get laid. Well I was wrong. I struggle with body confidence all the time. Here’s what I do: - wear clothes that make me feel sexy - believe what others say. If a guy says I’m hot then he’s not wrong. It’s wrong for me to disagree if that makes sense. As long as it’s genuine and not flattery then try and accept what they see. Say thanks and log away that compliment. There are a lot of shaming judgemental ppl out there, don’t listen to them and don’t give them your time of day! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
If you end up finding the answer to your question I’m all ears!! Body image for me has meant we are still lurking in the forums instead of actually meeting anyone! I would love to find a way to accept myself as I am but in reality when I think about playing with others I feel bad for offering second class goods Our brains can be a terrible place to live! Well done on taking the positive steps you’ve taken to improve your health x Mrs LAL - Posted from rhpmobile
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EarthQueen
8 years ago
Nooo. Second class goods?? Sister, please. My heat broke a little bit when I read that. When my kids put themselves down I call them on it and tell them to cancel that thought. So I’m doing it to you, with respect and girl love. 💕 My daughter and I were talking about this today about how hard it is for so many women to love themselves. It’s really sad and I know there are many reasons for it but it’s so ingrained in us it’s actually scary. There is no way you are second hand goods. No woman is. Again I’ll recommend the mirror work book. Very hard to do, I cried buckets, but if you want to change it has to come from inside and it’s difficult and can be gruelling xxx. Make room in your life for self love practises and do them every day. For sexual self love I like EJ Love. She’s a bit out there and into tantra but she has some good things to say about self worth. Start exploring and reading there is a wealth of information to help. If it’s old scars you might need help to examine them. Love your gorgeous self 💕 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Thank you for your lovely words :) I will get the book! I took great pains to make sure my daughters grew up to celebrate the amazing people they are... just always stopped short of being able to do it myself. It’s strange really how we can have such a different value set of ourselves for different parts of our life. In my professional life I am very in control and truth be - if you asked anyone who works for me they would say I am very confident and self assured. The truths we feel about ourselves privately can be so very different! Work in progress here and hopefully one day sooner rather than later I will be ok with me :) Mrs LAL - Posted from rhpmobile
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Freaky_Fun
8 years ago
Don't ever say that 😘 Can't agree with beautiful EQ more. Much love coming your way. I must say I'm a little surprised l always thought you were one of the more confident couples on the forums. We are not supermodels, we're all just like you. Everyday people that just like to enjoy things a little differently. I think you need to get your butt on a plane and come up to the Qld Meet and Greet and we will break your meeting people virginity for you 😃
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181Dinner4Two
8 years ago
Hi there gagapheen, Your Will and Desire to achieve and purposely be Who You physically Want to be is something wonderful and worthy of cellibration. It's all to easy for me to say, to text, 'Love Your scars' - tho those scars show You've battled; that one of Your worst foes You've faught against & You've Won. Achieving what You've decided to do, what You need for Your own self is something beautiful; and, it may just help another Soul stand up to themselves and try to be who they want to be. Churz edd - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Thank you very much 😘 This Meet and greet probably still too soon for me but we will keep our eyes peeled for the next one..... and I Will do my very best to notxhicken our!!! Mrs LAL
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