M46 F46
Choking
February 09 2020
Comments
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RHP User
6 years ago
Question - if you don't like it, why did you let them do it? Pusscat xxx
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RHP User
6 years ago
I didn't expect it and it was not discussed before it happened.
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Haleakala
6 years ago
Ive enjoy breath play and choking but it's definitely crossing a line to initiate it without consent. There was a recent case in NZ with a death of a British backpacker that was allegedly from breathplay.
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RHP User
6 years ago
I quite enjoy giving and taking but if you’re not into it don’t let it happen, it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks. Ms Phoenix.
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teejaylongsword
6 years ago
Sounds like this isn't for you. Tell your lovers this. There's no point if you don't enjoy it. You are both supposed to enjoy whatever play occurs. If anyone persists in doing it, get rid of them. Personally it would not be for me unless someone specifically requested it. I also wonder if it could potentially be dangerous.
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wildcrazyloving
6 years ago
I think this is a great topic, for I often wonder how some people would react if I firmly slapped their ass, stuck my finger up their bottom (unlubed), put my hand around their throat. It is not sexy unless it is consensual, even if it is stated in a profile that these are a persons likes. With regard to the previous comment. From personal experience, I can say it happens often and usually before we get the opportunity to say 'stop' or reposition. I think some people may not say 'stop' for fear of appearing unsexy.
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Two_Tarts
6 years ago
Unless you actually asked, or gave explicit approval, for them to choke you then it is absolutely crossing a line. While everyone is entitled to their own kinks with willing partners, it is outrageously wrong of anyone to put you in a position of feeling violated for their own gratification. What you have described is just plain assult unless it was something you requested. Hopefully you were safe and empowered enough to make clear to them that their actions were not ok and that they were smart enough to to be horrified by the realisation of the severity of their own actions. It makes us wonder just what sad stuff is going on in the head of someone who might possibly get pleasure from choking a sexual partner against their wishes? Sounds like real club you over the head and drag you into their cave kind of Neanderthal behaviour.
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RHP User
6 years ago
Totally not on and non consensual, not negotiated prior is considered an assault. Breath play is one of the most dangerous of all kinks and most experienced kink people don’t do it for that reason. For some dick wad to think it’s ok to use an dangerous and unsafe practice even in the most experienced hands would warrant a walk down to the police station to report them for sexual assault.
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RHP User
6 years ago
It wasn't assault but just something unexpected. I usually try lots of things. I am somewhat submissive and was in a scene at the time. Choking seems to be a trend, so I wanted other people's thoughts on the subject. A male friend confessed a femsle lover choked him. He had to remove her hands and she was surprised he didn't like it.
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EarthQueen
6 years ago
Quoting 'Two_Tarts' Unless you actually asked, or gave explicit approval, for them to choke you then it is absolutely crossing a line. While everyone is entitled to their own kinks with willing partners, it is outrageously wrong of anyone to put you in a position of feeling violated for their own gratification. What you have described is just plain assult unless it was something you requested. Hopefully you were safe and empowered enough to make clear to them that their actions were not ok and that they were smart enough to to be horrified by the realisation of the severity of their own actions. It makes us wonder just what sad stuff is going on in the head of someone who might possibly get pleasure from choking a sexual partner against their wishes? Sounds like real club you over the head and drag you into their cave kind of Neanderthal behaviour. Choking is never something that should be done without discussion and consent. It's plain wrong and dangerous. If someone did it without asking its assault. Also, for those who said why didn't she say stop, its hard if you feel scared in a vulnerable sexual situation, or if you can't actually say it because you can't speak. The onus should not be on her to say stop, he shouldn't do it without asking, ever. He's in the power position. OP I'm sorry you had to go through that. Sounds like a frightening experience. Shoot me down , but choking for me is a sexual grey area, it crosses the line too easily into something life threatening. It's been glorified by porn and media without any of the education needed to action it. Personally, I don't mind being held around the neck without force or being held down or pulled towards someone, but I would never let somebody actually choke me. It's not something I find a turn on. It would scare me. The grabbing and holding is something I would talk about before hand and boundaries, limits and safe words discussed. If I sensed in that discussion he wouldn't listen to me properly, theres no way I would engage.
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twowithnolimits
6 years ago
hmm i think the crux of the issue here as with all thing sexual & relationship wise is communication .. firstly my observations around the OP choking if it's in your profile as a like, contrary to some if you have publicly declared you are into it then i think it is not necessary to stop mid coitus and ask permission, after all it says in some profiles they are into kissing, hands up all those who mid coitus stopped and asked permission to kiss?? What a passion killer that would be... choking often also features in CNC situations, so objection pointless there ;-) arousal from breathe play is well documented and acknowledged and has both a psychological and physiological basis can it be dangerous, of course, do we stop everything that could be dangerous...i hope not! it seems that the most caution and negativity is being displayed by those who say they themselves would not be into it, personal projection issues here? And now to communication.. communication: if you didn't like it , why didn't you communicate that? communication: if you did object and it was ignored, what did you do at the time/what have you done since? communication: do you communicate your preferred sexual dynamic to your partners before or after you've done the deed? communication: your OP refers to multiple instances with multiple partners. did you not communicate your feelings every time? was it a relationship ending incident each time? So to your original question is it crossing the line, no , nothing crosses any line, unless one has been drawn first. YKINMK but thats fine by me should be everyones starting point. Paul p.s. earlier this year there was a UK doco on SBS where all except one of the women being interviewed admitted they would like their man to try it/do it and be a little more aggressive in the bedroom , it was the majority of men who couldn't understand why their wives wanted them to do it ..................
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wildcrazyloving
6 years ago
Would it be okay to engage in 'watersports', 'firm bdsm' or even 'fisting' without a discussion prior to the event? These interests are also listed on profiles.
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twowithnolimits
6 years ago
@wildcrazyloving absolutely unless they communicate a need to discuss first. there is no one common mindset , as you well know, so if YOU feel the need to stop your foreplay and outline the style of watersports you enjoy, then go right ahead, but please don't be so presumptuous as to infer everybody else on the planet must do likewise or is even inclined to do like wise, it's not like any of your list happen without obvious forewarning... COMMUNICATION.... p.s. most adults are quite capable of adjusting their sexual activities in real time without prefacing intimacy with a series of lectures and discussions, if it is your thing to intellectualize your own activities then fine, but please save the judgment of others to GOD or whatever deity you subscribe too Gallifreyans perhaps??
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Forus1234
6 years ago
The only people I have felt comfortable with choking me have been sparring partners at martial arts training. This is quite a dangerous act if the person has no experience in choke holds, if too much pressure is applied to certain areas of the neck, it can lead to a person being unconscious within 10 seconds. This doesn’t turn me on as it has always been a form of self defence for me. I’m sure there are people that enjoy it though. (Mrs Forus).
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wildcrazyloving
6 years ago
Haha no limits. I should have stopped there. Carry on.
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RHP User
6 years ago
Your profile states that you are in a relationship and will not play alone. Where was your partner in all of this? Were they wanking in the corner? Did they do anything to pull up the person who was choking you? Does your partner know that you don't like this? This is not my thing either as I feel it is demoralizing to my lover that I am treating them like an object. Seems this is what happened to you.
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RHP User
6 years ago
I don’t mind it either....it’s not something that I enjoy every time, be it giving or receiving... It’s quite ok that you don’t enjoy it and for those who do. But I will always end play at my earliest point of availability being caught off guard like that if acts like this are not discussed before hand...as it’s been said, applied wrong it can lead to unconsciousness, and if there’s no boundaries in place and awareness from the person applying it, it can have far more extreme outcomes... Mr dragon
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RHP User
6 years ago
My question was more about who enjoyed it. I don't and gave my reasons. Given I enjoy light bdsm, my partner thought it would be nice to try. Some things you don't know if you will like them until you try. Other things you just know.
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MsSuperFoxy
6 years ago
I disagree, Choking is not a trend. Yes, its a fetish to some (experienced BDSM breath play etc), but not to others. If anyone tries to convince me it's a "trend", I have news for them. If anyone tried it on me without my permission, my self defence instincts would kick in. People have actually died from this dangerous "chocking challenge" crap going around. It actually surprises me that some people think its fun and OK. Ms Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
6 years ago
I'm meaning the chocking challenge, that some people think is it is fun and OK. *Totally different to BDSM breath play. Ms Fixy
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RHP User
6 years ago
It’s a fine line between consent and spontaneity ! I personally wouldn’t do anything like choking and watersports without having a pretty firm idea that it would be acceptable, that’s what conversations are for yes ?
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Sawadee
6 years ago
Choking can be potentially fatal so why go there ? I dont care how trendy it is ' why take the chance ? I'm the first to admit l like to think outside the square and love trying different things like what wildcrazyloving mentioned , but put your hands around my throat and lm afraid the response would be instance . How do you know the person knows just how far he / she can go . In the hands of the inexperienced and in a moment of passion we sometimes lose our way . If done incorrectly ' a person can be rendered unconscious within 10 seconds.
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Mask_007
6 years ago
I usually respond and reach for what my partner at time is asking for or looking for, always with lots of communication, sometimes spontaneous. And always looking for a positive and reinforcement, trying to have more pleasure for both of us.
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RHP User
6 years ago
Foxy.. you mean there’s a challenge about using devices to prevent vehicles from moving that have failed brakes?? Mr dragon
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SSExplorer
6 years ago
It’s something I would never do without permission but when exploring what a lover likes I may place my hands gently around their neck and see their reaction, it’s usually pretty obvious if ts something that really gets them off. Mrs S likes it and sometimes quite hard but it is likely only something she would do with me or someone she was very close to, not a first time play friend. It’s never been at the forefront of what I seek for myself but the first time Mrs S placer her dainty little hands around my neck the feeling was electric, just the feel of a part of her in a part of me that isnt that regular is quite lovely. I guess the OP maybe didn’t make her lack of desire for it obvious or the partners just didn’t care?
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MrNatural77
6 years ago
I think porn these days is bordering on rape, with choking the girl as the guy(s) pound her. The sex is getting rougher and rougher. Monkey see, monkey do.I had a lady say that to me recently, that this one guy on here is really rough with her cause he watches too much porn, blurring the lines of fantasy and reality.There are times when a good pounding is welcomed, but the choking, spitting, slapping of face or tits should be confined to bdsm play where there is a consensual agreement and safe word in place. cheers, ThePleasurist89
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RHP User
6 years ago
"It wasn't assault but just something unexpected." Respectfully disagree. Been to too many dv incidents where this same line is used. You're better than that. Consent is paramount.
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RHP User
6 years ago
I am a big fan of chocking gently and blindfolding I would love to enjoy this is anyone is interested
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RHP User
6 years ago
Ask Michael Hutchence what he thinks of choking...
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