F58

Comedy Corner

January 05 2010

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!' And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!' And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out, and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She also told me that she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the expensive designer jeans that you bought a couple years back, but don't wear because you say they not the "in" name this year. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because you say I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.' The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?

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RHP User

16 years ago

Good laugh while having my morning coffee... huggies sweetpetite41

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RHP User

16 years ago

And a certain amount of truth in there for some guys to! Cheers Nev.....reminds me of the Jelly bean jar!

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RHP User

16 years ago

I am going to use that one thanks

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RHP User

16 years ago

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING AFOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,HONEY,COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVEENERGEX WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?I DON'T THINK SO.FINE,THEN THE WIFE ASKS,WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHTTO WHICH HE REPLIED,FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSEWRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?I DON'T THINK SOFINE, SHE SAYSTHEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPSTO THE FRONT DOOR?THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAKI'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'TWANT TO FIX STEPSHE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE BUNNINGS WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?I DON'T THINK SOI'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.I'M GOING TO THE PUB!!!!SO HE GOES TO THE PUB AND DRINKS FOR ACOUPLE OF HOURS...............................HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOWHE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDESTO GO HOMEAS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICESTHAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THEHALL LIGHT IS WORKINGAS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICESTHE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SATOUTSIDE AND CRIED.JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED MEWHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, ANDALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHERGO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.HE SAID,SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?SHE REPLIED,HELLOOOOO..DO YOU SEE SARA LEE WRITTENON MY FOREHEAD?I DON'T THINK SO! Hehe...

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RHP User

16 years ago

Touch'e Cheers Nev

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RHP User

16 years ago

ozrockchcick and peachypairwer they r awesome have a good one

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RHP User

16 years ago

thankyou after the night iv'e had id forgotten how good it feels to laugh aloud

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RHP User

16 years ago

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speeches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience. The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing. "Well", he explained, "By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my speech started Ladies and Gentlemen". On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I'll go one better than that English bastard and started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin. When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing. "Well" he explained, "By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying Dear Ladies and Gentlemen". On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself I'll go one further than those mainland bastards and started his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and then masturbating furiously. When he finished his colleagues asked him what he was doing. "Well" he explained,"by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying - Dear Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure......."====================Thanks for your sentiments and jokes ... please keep them coming ... I enjoy a good laugh ... cheerio for now :-)

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RHP User

16 years ago

After having a man annoy the crap outta me...I need a good giggle today... Thankyou huggies sweetpetite41 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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RHP User

16 years ago

I am liking this comody corner

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