Curiosity, has me thinking

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  MsSuperFoxy

  4 years ago

  NOTE: This post is about YOUR OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCES being in that grey area zone. * more, why it went there, how YOU felt and what YOU did/didn't do.

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  RHP User

  4 years ago

  One quick answer it's complicated. Yes I have been in this situation. For me was a casual covid sex buddy arrangement. But it has lasted about 16 months. So U become real friends once you start sharing more details about yourselves. Intimacy can cause deeper feelings if you view the other person has values that you admire. So like any type of relationship communication is the key factor to how things workout. If you find yourself with a person who has little emotional intelligence and does not know how to explain how they feel. Well then all you have to go by is they're actions. That in itself is fraught with mixed signals. As I like to put it in terms of that some like to have a casual girlfriend. When together you experience everything that seems like a very normal caring relationship. Then when your apart is it drastically different. Hence a rollercoaster of thoughts and generally not feeling great about yourself. That is where you have to talk about what you both need from each other. To feel respected and happy about what you do share. No matter the situation. If that fails then at some point you need to decide what's best for yourself and stick to your decision.

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  countrytouch82

  4 years ago

  Not sure about what you call short term friends with benefits. If it's short term it's more a hookup in my own opinion. If you are actual friends, with or without intimacy, it's likely to be longer term. There are emotions involved with my local-ish friend with benefits but that's with a partnered woman (with a couple). So there is be a line of ultimate limitation of "relationship" progression apart from the Poly thing, even though it's 5 years +. (One of those lines is risk of disownership from some family and friends if made more public). But, I still see myself as single, and encouraged by my friend also to find another single. If this friend happened to be single, we probably get along well enough, if not perfectly, for something more in a different universe. I also have a interstate friend of a similar duration, communicate most days, sometimes deep sometimes simple in a "sharing random Fbook stuff" way. Yes we do "just get" each other. But differences in lives and locations is the limiting factor, especially with covid restrictions. But in general moving from either "fwb" to something more akin to a relationship, is about whether you can both can integrate somewhat further into each other's lives. Then also about whether you wish to come out publicly, so that strangers and friends and families have some knowledge, or more knowledge. As for moving out of a platonic friendship, or platonic dates, I've found it's always a case of not what connects you, but what divides. The many times I hear something equivalent to "you're a lovely guy BUT"... it's hopefully about finding a situation where that "BUT" doesn't exist, or somehow changing things so that impediments to building intimacy and chemistry are lessened or removed. Just my experience and thoughts only, of course.

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  ElectricDreamers

  4 years ago

  True intimacy. Having moments of vulnerability, letting the other person in. When you click in the way that you would if you were all vanilla, where it's clear you're true friend material. And because it's easy to love true friends you can have that same feeling with someone you're also fucking. Being secure enough as a couple that you don't shut down opportunities to explore deeper sexual friendships. Being secure enough in yourself that you let others in.

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  RHP User

  4 years ago

  So you have the hots for this friend and he doesn't seem interested? I'd leave it at that

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  RHP User

  4 years ago

  Okay so what about this Love is like a fart If you have to force it, it's probably shit

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