M67 F65
First couple encounter, fizzer
May 05 2015
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Was a huge investment you made before you actually met.It sounds like Mrs X just wasn't into it at all.Perhaps next time you need to meet before and sort out few things.xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
Organise a meet n greet with a couple of couples that you have short listed..... Discuss all rules and fantasies prior to meeting, incorporate this into your sexy talk in between prior..... Organise your meet, then go with either if comfortable, chemistry is there etc..... Sadly through experience, if you're keen, you need a plan B or couple B so to speak :)) IMO a couple of drinks to take the edge off would be sufficient if needed, too many after that and the green eyed monster amongst others may rear it's ugly head..... Sad you went to all that effort for no outcome.... Hoping next time it snaps crackles n pops for you both 😜
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RHP User
11 years ago
It sounds as though Mrs X wasn't fully comfortable with the whole thing, and you watching her partner with your partner means she has to watch too. Which was probably a very confronting notion for her.
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CompersionCouple
11 years ago
There r a lot of really good people out & I'm sure u will find some so just stay positive. We've experienced our fair share of time waisters, fakes, liars but we kept looking & have met some really great people who r a lot of fun to play with as well. - Posted from rhpmobile
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NudesRus
11 years ago
Hi there Mr Discrete. You would like to know where it all went wrong. I'll tell you where it went wrong. At the point where you made it all about YOU and not the other couple. You mentioned that she didn't seam confident. That should have been a sign that you will need to pay her a lot of attention. Instead you did the opposite and said you wanted to watch your wife for a while. How did you think that would have made her feel? She probably thought that you were a dud and she was going to miss out and have to watch her partner play alone. It's all well and good to have fantasies but wait till you know and have played a few times before you act on them. Sorry it didn't work out but maybe next time you will remember it is a couples swap and not just about what YOU want.
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RHP User
11 years ago
That's a shame, but as Freya said, you made a big investment for the first meet. The reality is that the majority of couples/people in the scene are not as secure as they purport to be and it really is a process of a lot of misses before you make a hit. Most love the idea and fantasy of playing, but can't deal with the reality of it.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Maybe get the basic swap thing under the belt first. Then when the four of you are comfortable with each other, the kinks and the fantasies can be brought into it. Its the rhp circus here and like any circus, keep the big finish to last. Build the anticipation and you'll have a requst for an encore.
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compressor
11 years ago
I agree with what Freya said and may save the same thing happening
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Thought about this given the history I've had with couples. Poor Mrs X. Mrs Discrete is having a nice time. Mr X is having a nice time getting the end wet. You, Op, experiencing your fantasy having a very nice time. Mrs X left feeling nervous and being left out. Rude and inconsiderate OP. Should not have been all about you and Mrs Discrete. Just another rude couple that are thinking of themselves. So many of them around and why i do not seek them.
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RHP User
11 years ago
We find before we play or goto a party we never have expectations, if you expect it to happen and it doesnt then you will feel let down about the situation. Just let what ever happends happends!
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RHP User
11 years ago
But cant you play with MrsX and watch at the same time? Or was the deal that you go to separate rooms? I always thing take it in stages, just coffee first and then nut out ( pardon the pun) the details. Also things happen on the night, people find its not quiet what they were hoping not, only from others but from themselves. the fantasy becomes the reality and then the sound track in the back of your brain may go from happy happy happy to its my party and I cry if I want to.
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RHP User
11 years ago
selfish - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Amateurs.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Not going to even bother with your above comment. You have no idea what experience we have had, no need to say sorry either because everything you rattled on about cleared showed you have no idea about the situation. At what point do you think I or my wife think couple swapping is about ONE couple. Its give and take. Meh, waste of time explaining. To everyone else thanks for your replies they were useful and constructive. We discussed the night for a week via phone but Mrs X or Mr X did not tell us until the night that it was about Polygamy for them and that was what they were seeking. For us it was about having hot fun with a nice couple and they were lovely, but we both were keen to see each other being pleasured by someone else for a short time then catch you later for the night, couple swap in separate rooms. In the week leading up they did keep asking if we were good to go separate rooms. We were. We had no rules as long as it didn't contain pain or anything extreme. We were under the understanding that they had no issues seeing each other with someone else and proved this on the balcony, lots of kissing and rubbing n stuff for us all with our new partners however when it came to bedroom time it was to be behind closed doors. So fun4some, your comments were a waste of time because it was all discussed BEFORE except their desire to seek Polygamy. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sounds like desires and expectations were not communicated properly. Be upfront about what you want from the night with all dos and donts... then there are no unwanted surprises and everyone knows where they stand.
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RHP User
11 years ago
We were happy to play same room, whatever. We had no rules and either did they. BUT THEY WERE SEEKING A POLYGAMY RELATIONSHIP of which we know nothing about but looking back now they did steer clear of answering that. Your right, couples who say they are secure are clearly not as this same couple had that very problem a few weeks earlier. To the Tranny or Tv, its not our first time, just our first time hooking up on here. My bad for making Mrs X feel so bad. Now where is the rolled eyes button! She didn't miss out on anything because nothing happened! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes Meeka great advice and will be wiser next time. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Unfortunately, for the excitement and spontaneity factors..... it seems you needed to be much more specific in what options were on the table... before... deciding to meet. Seems to me, its generally the Misters doing the rule making, whether the Mrs's know it or not.. DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'fun4some' Hi there Mr Discrete. You would like to know where it all went wrong. I'll tell you where it went wrong. At the point where you made it all about YOU and not the other couple. You mentioned that she didn't seam confident. That should have been a sign that you will need to pay her a lot of attention. Instead you did the opposite and said you wanted to watch your wife for a while. How did you think that would have made her feel? She probably thought that you were a dud and she was going to miss out and have to watch her partner play alone. It's all well and good to have fantasies but wait till you know and have played a few times before you act on them. Sorry it didn't work out but maybe next time you will remember it is a couples swap and not just about what YOU want. You are being critical of a married couple for wanting to watch each other being pleasured for 5 minutes? What is the point of swinging then? I mean if they were just a random couple that met a week before I could understand how Mrs x might have felt left out, but the OP wanted to watch his own wife being pleasured for 5 minutes.......what the hell is wrong with that? It's his wife for god's sake
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thank you Fit73. A hell of a lot of judgement here by some clearly jaded people. We stated our desires from the start and our profile reads same. There shouldn't have been any surprises but there was. Just need to make sure we run through things more, this is much easier said than done with work family and the like. Anyhows.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thank you for positive input guys n gals - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I cant be more specific in saying it all was communicated from our side. What I am saying is that from their side things were not communicated otherwise we would have known that watching each other would be an issue. Mrs X stated she wanted MFF first and foremost without her hubby so we obviously thought all was good on their side when it came to watching. - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'Discrete_pastime' We were happy to play same room, whatever. We had no rules and either did they. BUT THEY WERE SEEKING A POLYGAMY RELATIONSHIP of which we know nothing about but looking back now they did steer clear of answering that. Your right, couples who say they are secure are clearly not as this same couple had that very problem a few weeks earlier. To the Tranny or Tv, its not our first time, just our first time hooking up on here. My bad for making Mrs X feel so bad. Now where is the rolled eyes button! She didn't miss out on anything because nothing happened! - Posted from rhpmobile Yes I do answer to most things but prefer my handle or Annie in here, not "the Tranny" FFS. And news flash..........tranny and TV are the same thing.........derrrr Well Mrs X missed out and Mr X missed out because you 2 were so hell bent on fulfilling your own fantasy before everyone was comfortable. You could have swung the first night and then do your fantasy on the second night. But no, put yourselves first.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Seriously - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
"A common misconception that a polyamorous relationship is really no different from an open-relationship agreement: one committed couple, with some lighthearted fun on the side. But the word "polyamory," by definition, means loving more than one." Seems strange to me that this couple wanted a polyamory relationship and only told you this on the night. What do they even mean by that? They want to find another couple to fall in love with?
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RHP User
11 years ago
1. How long have you been swinging, do you meet other couples, or do you go to swingers clubs, etc. Try and suss out how experienced they are. New couples often don't have their shit sorted out and don't really understand what is involved or know what to expect. 2. Ask what are their boundaries. What sorts of things are off limits. That way you have a better understanding on what they are about. Some couples don't want the guy to penetrate Mrs, or they don't kiss other couples, or no oral, etc, etc. Again to gage how comfortable they are with swapping and whether it suits you. 3. Could ask them how they handle jealousy issues with each other or if they have come across it in other couples. Again to see if they have actually thought about it all. Couples are an effort that is for sure.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Why don't you meet at swingers club first? Mike's Place for instance.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Appears OP has blocked me. Ok for him to hit my page. Bit touchy?
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UnclaimedPants
11 years ago
Meeka if us more experienced folk wont go near the newbies how will they ever learn the joy of sharing, we have had some hot... some lovely.... some toe curling times with couples beginning their adventure.. I will agree too many rules is painful, and way to many expectations by the sound of it before the ops meet. Mr Pants - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Any_Whichway' Appears OP has blocked me. Ok for him to hit my page. Bit touchy? Made another friend Annie.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Halo has been a bit tight. Just needed stretching.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Any_Whichway' Halo has been a bit tight. Just needed stretching. Some of my favourite words there!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes it seemed that way Meeka. It came up a number of times and we didnt think too much of it, each to their own. But obviously polygamy is different in a way because they were not interested in sharing a bed between all of us or 4 some. It was about closed doors. At least we know now and each to their own, its just not what we were seeking. We were more keen for all to be involved and hopefully have something semi regular, just open not closed, if that makes sense. We have an open relationship as it is. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Personal judgemental opinion from someone who is making many assumptions is never appreciated. Yep I hit your page to block you not to view you. Touch a nerve? Perhaps you were rude in your responses unlike others who responded with good advice which is what we were seeking instead of poking me and my wife in the chest. Your assumptions were unwelcome and your opinions mean nothing to us. Simple. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thanks Meeka will defs take your advice! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
appreciate that and yes it will be worth it x - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Unfortunately, you have done the wrong thing and it would seem that it is your way of no way. From your own story, it seems you were unwilling to yield or be cooperative with the foursome situation and it ended due to your rule. Wouldnt it have been more reasonable to swap (as you say you already did on the way back), then check in with eachother throughout the night? If mrs x wanted mff to start, why didnt that happen? Why did you have to dictate how it has to go. It seems (from the information you have provided) its your way or the highway...
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RHP User
11 years ago
You babe! I wouldn't be worried about some of the ignorant people that frequent RHP and how they address trans* people - it's a common problem in my experience at least (remember when I was recently referred to as the boy/girl, lmfao). So yeah, fuck em. And as for you discrete, feel free to block another tranny because I totally agree with Annie. All I read in your scenario is how your selfish expectations didn't come to fruition through lack of communication. Maybe next time eh? - Posted from rhpmobile
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Smilingwithfun
11 years ago
How posts evolve. Charles Darwin would have loved it here.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Thanks sweetness. Yes normally takes more than that to ruffle the feathers. Wasn't the the name, it was "the" in front of it. Lol. The respect must have overwhelmed me...... xxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
If only I ate meat Quoting 'Aussie_beef' Sounds like desires and expectations were not communicated properly. Be upfront about what you want from the night with all dos and donts... then there are no unwanted surprises and everyone knows where they stand.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Allow me one more comment before i bow out of your perfect world. Clearly you have an issue interpreting comment/opinion. As others have posted, its seems your way or no way. There was no anger in any of my posts. Merely commenting on how your actions may have fucked up your grand plans for the evenings in question. Really, if you do not like the answers. do not ask the questions. You blocked me after my second post and prior to the first of your disrespectful posts in addressing me. I showed no anger in my third post, merely pointing out your error in showing respect and correcting some of the facts from my previous post. You again direspected me with "whatever" i am. Once again i will not respond in anger. But i will point out the obvious thing to me is that you have issues with anyone that is outside of your hetrosexual boundary. This is not a place for prejudice. Everyone deserves respect no matter "whatever" they are. Try and give respect, you may be surprised that you may earn some yourself........one day. Annie
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RHP User
11 years ago
Both your wife and yourself did absolutely nothing wrong from what I can see. Hopefully you both have better luck next time x
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RHP User
11 years ago
Call me jaded too if you like, but I agree with Annie. Seeing Mrs X was not confident should have stopped you in your tracks and made you re-evaluate the situation in my opinion. I think your wife's comment that her being watched by you would only be for a short while instead of involving Mrs X didn't help, and it tells me you were more focused on your own plan than them. I think It's great you have each other's backs, but play partners coming second (no pun intended) isn't cool. I'd like to hear their side of the story, I think it would be very different to yours (and the truth would probably be somewhere in the middle). You live you learn though, and I hope that you know better now, so you can do better next time. P. S. "The tranny?" And you call Annie rude? FFS.
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RHP User
11 years ago
When you post on the fora what you will get is a variety of opinion based on the information you give.Some opinions will be positive some wont,but it is only opinion...being nasty and making personal attacks on fellow posters shows you in a poor light,any couple reading your reactions here will probably avoid you like the plague..hoist by your own petard me thinks.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Oh and btw Annie, respect is earned not asked for. You lost that the moment your second post went up pointing the finger. Use the predjudice card, but if you consider yourself the same as everyone else, you get no special treatment. Always gotta be the drama queen! Enjoy the struggles of your life, we will just move on and leave the site like we were going to anyhow after the deceit and rubbish. Life is good, drugs are bad honey - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Starting to see why things went the way they did. DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
So that means you won't respect people until you feel they've earned it? I think I see the issue now, and I agree this site is for you. Good luck.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I really can't see why they didn't want to spend a night with you guys! What stunning examples of swingers you are! Open minded, willing to entertain the thoughts and feelings of others, giving and self-aware.... I think your fizzlers dodged a bullet personally. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I meant I agree this site is NOT for you, my bad.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sounds to me like the OP's were very open about their expectations and what they would like to happen but the other couple didn't speak up to say that they were not comfortable with that... and then on the night say they are after serious relationship. Totally weird. Of course that is only based on one side of the story. As for the OP having the shits with Annie's comment. Well yeah. I get how being criticised is pretty in your face at first and people do get upset, although you can always choose how you react. That goes for Annie as well....... why worry about somebody on the internet. They don't know you so you should just brush their comment off. xx
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four4fun
11 years ago
Something similar happened to us once before and after we realised it was all about them (being a new couple they were not stable nor ready ) and as we are easy going, relaxed and secure couple we where happy to go along ... However to a point where we stopped everything and parted ways, the wife seemed to be getting really jealous What we learnt was don't forget to communicate what YOU want! You wanted to watch your wife, hopefully you mentioned that before because in hindsight if you are in separate rooms you would not have had the chance to do so Like Meeka comment We unfortunately had to turn down a really lovely couple recently because of too many rules and again all about them! It's not that easy meeting secure couples with no hang ups where all 4 want to play, good luck !
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree that differing opinions can be confronting when made in the forum but I disagree with your suggestion that Annie should have to 'brush off' transphobic and personally degrading comments made by the OP. Whilst to disagree with what someone presents is an opinion, I feel as if what the OP has written is obviously discrimination that is made as a personal attack. By some of the comments that followed by other members it seems I'm not alone in that perception. If someone was to make personal comments about you or the way you lived your life in these forums that fell outside of the context of the discussion, I would hope that others would rise to your defense in a similar fashion. I would also hope that people wouldn't suggest you had to endure any type of discrimination for voicing any opinion. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am not suggesting that Annie shouldn't be angry or that the OP shouldn't be pulled up. But I did see in another thread that Annie is going to take a break from RHP and I think it was because of the OP's comment. So I am saying don't let the haters get you down and alter your behaviour. They are some faceless randoms on the net and they are not worth your angst. That's what I mean.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
I didn't withdraw because of this issue. It was 0.01% reason but 99.9% personal shit. Im old and leathery enough for most of the shit to not penetrate too much. But what i do think about are the more sensitive ones of our genders. It's no mystery why there are so few regular posters to represent us. They witness the type of crap that fuckwits dish out like this example and think there is no way they are going to put themselves up to be humiliated and dissed. They get enough in the outside world. It needs to be a fair and safe place where everyone can give their opinion without fear of discrimination. Then we can have a balanced forum that represents all of us.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Any_Whichway' I didn't withdraw because of this issue. It was 0.01% reason but 99.9% personal shit. Im old and leathery enough for most of the shit to not penetrate too much. But what i do think about are the more sensitive ones of our genders. It's no mystery why there are so few regular posters to represent us. They witness the type of crap that fuckwits dish out like this example and think there is no way they are going to put themselves up to be humiliated and dissed. They get enough in the outside world. It needs to be a fair and safe place where everyone can give their opinion without fear of discrimination. Then we can have a balanced forum that represents all of us. what is the proportion that would be TV/TS in general population, and on here? I haven't looked too hard, but saw that a UCLA study suggested about 0.3% adults in USA are transgender. If we can assume the same applies to Australia, then you could argue that TV/TS people were over-represented here given the small number of regular forum posters (or also that they're dramatically more likely to be involved in an online community such as this).
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
That percentage is for TS/TG. It doesn't include TV of which l am and which is encompassed within the TV/TS section of RHP. And yes you would be correct that there would be a higher representation here at RHP. Do a search for TV/TS and compare the results with the number of those that post regularly. KK, myself and .....? Sounds like a job for BM with his analytical skills. And see if i can post with more abbreviations next time.....
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RHP User
11 years ago
Since when did sex become so complicated? Why can't people just get together and fuck any more?
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RHP User
11 years ago
We used to drive to Sydney all the time and book a hotel room and meet a couple we hadn't met before. So risky as you don't know anything about them. Yeah for sure be a let down and waste of money. You live and you learn. That's why now any new couples we will meet them out if we will be in Sydneey anyway. As in we don't do specific trips anymore. Also, its swinging, nothing is ever for certain. Don't see 'we shagged each other partners' as the goal. Don't have a goal ad just enjoy company. Its hard to let go of I know but it makes things easier.
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