F59

Friends and playmates.

January 14 2012

For many years, our best friend would join hubby and me in bed. It was a wonderful relationship (and it still is) but when she found a new man, who doesn't play, that side of our relationship ended. Perfectly understandable, we harbour no resentment and we are still all good friends. My purpose in joining RHP was to try to find another lady, or even a couple, who would be interested in a similar relationship. It seems that most swingers prefer to keep their playmates seperate from their social lives. I can see where they're coming from but I find the sex isn't as satisfying without that close connection. I have made contact with some people on RHP who seem to share my attitude but they have been at some considerable distance making the social side of the relationship difficult. What are your views on swinging? Closeness versus anonymity.

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RHP User

14 years ago

Anonymity goes a long way to avoiding the awkward circumstances where you feel it is difficult to say "next" if you want to. You can just say it without remorse or risk of splitting up your lifelong friends and, potentially your family. Plus, swinging is a bit of realised fantasy and role play in an otherwise "normal" life. An escape. You can be Carmin Miranda if you want to and you can dress up and adopt a completely different character each time you venture out into your secret world of slut. It's more difficult to do those things unless you're largely anonymous. It's difficult to be taken seriously as a district court judge if you are wearing a bra on your head. Hugs Stalky

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RHP User

14 years ago

How goos would it be IF we were able to have a coupe over for dinner and a nice evening, then go... "Hey, we are going to bed and get cosy: want to join us?" If you feel comfortable enough in a couple, Or a single to suggest this, then what a good evening it could turn out to be. I dont do long term relations now, but, I USED to :) AND some of them have had the added extras of friends with benifits, where either one of felt at ease enough to ask/suggest. I have asked couples myself. In some cases, something has come of it, in others, they have got bent out of shape. Good Luck JennyLee.. I hope you find someone, OR a couple to play with again... AND.. who knows.. you "FRIEND" might talk her new BF around :) caveman

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RHP User

14 years ago

know xackly what you mean. We have been lucky enough to have had a few fem friends who where comfortable with us both as a couple. Actually 3 have asked us.Would love to have a regular as well. Maybe wont find her here but will keep lookin.Maybe Mormons have something right.Count yourself lucky to have had the experience I doubt it is as common as we think.Good huntingNeil

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RHP User

14 years ago

I appreciate your thoughtful responses but had hoped for a wider cross section to get a better feel for the way people approached play. Why is it that someone can start a thread every couple of days to talk about the size of a dick and get a huge response but nobody wants to get serious?

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Paradisepair

14 years ago

We have set some rules up, and no friends is amongst them. To a) protect our friendships from unnecessary complication and b) it's just cleaner that way. That said we happy to befriend playmates.

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RHP User

14 years ago

Playing with friends is so much better. The connection makes the sex out of this world AND you have someone to discuss it with over a glass of wine!BUT ... it is so hard to find people that you can be both with.Katex x x x

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RHP User

14 years ago

Good to hear from you again. It seems that most swingers prefer the anonimity but it seems that you, like me, joined RHP to try to replicate a relationship that was more than sexual. While you are obviously the play you are getting, don't you miss the commradery and intimacy of your prior experiences?

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RHP User

14 years ago

Jenny I used to be very much "I don't fuck my friends" and " a fuck is a fuck"..........end of. I just got to the stage where there were too many lovely people crossing my path who were worth waaaaaay more than what was in their pants. Depends on the situation. That being said, i can't imagine being friends FIRST and then sex. It would either be friends and only friends, or sex and then friends or sex AND sexy play friends...if you know what i mean. ggxx

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RHP User

14 years ago

We totally agree, playing with friends has a deeper sense of trust and leads to an intimacy you just can't find with random hook-ups. The more comfortable you are with your friends the more you can relax, open up and let yourself be carried away by the moment.

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RHP User

14 years ago

For a while I enjoyed a close friendship with a couple who were highly sexual and adventurous, initially it was purely a sexual relation between them and myself, eventually we all became very close friends, but the swinging lifestyle - at that point- had its limitations among most of my non-swinging friends, we were very open and honest about our sexuality, conversations, ideas, fantasies.. some of my friends are much more reserved in that aspect..I attempted to have my playmates involved in my social life a few times, but it seems that the privacy side works better for some...

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