F38
"Friends" list
April 24 2017
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
I would never message someone with such comments about their friends list. However, if someone's friends are all suberb looking male specimens (in my opinion), I would not feel that such a person would be interested in me, especially if it was also detailed in their profile they are seeking fit, toned, athletic or equivalent person/s. Some people have 20+ or more (sometimes lots more) of these friends, and perhaps mostly local to her, so I would be wondering why she is still apparently looking for a man (if that's what is written). But yes, on the point of updating friends lists, I would assume it would have a similar priority on keeping the rest of your profile updated, eg status and who you are looking for, photos, etc? For those with heaps of friends, I also wonder if they are actual friends, or just racked up like facebook contacts, or tinder matches etc, with little or no communication or actual time spent with them. Some other people mention on their profiles specifically what their friends list is for or isn't for. But then again, I have women on my friends list. Perhaps I am also recieving the same view, that it may mean they are intimate contacts, and may deter another woman from contacting me? I think the best practice is simply to keep one part of your written profile updated with your situation, even if not all of your profile is current.
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RHP User
9 years ago
If someone is going to judge you on your friend's list without actually knowing or meeting you first ? (wtf.) I say phewwww thank fuck I never meet them. I don't have that problem as i mentioned by not having a friends list it keeps my friend's privacy intact, and judgemental people away. Amazing how people think that people could actually just be a friend. Can you imagine?? lol Good luck Op on your move. Perth is almost as warm. 😉😎 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Is only made up of people I've actually met. Most being the wonderful women of RHP that I met at a M & G. I have stated in my profile that I won't accept random friend requests from people I've never spoken to or met...but still get requests from time to time. I often wonder if some people just click 'accept' without looking at the profile or having met/spoken to the other person. I will say, I've started chatting to guys and then on further ogling of their profile I've looked at their friends list, and in some cases it has put me off a little. Two that I'll mention were opposite extremes. One guy had what looked like a calendar full of swimsuit models in his friends list. I'm no supermodel and did wonder at the time why the h3ll he was talking to me?!?And the other guy, though really interesting to chat to...had women in his friends list with really trashy and graphic pics. Not tasteful, sexy or raunchy...but posed in degrading and debasing ways (And yes, that is just my own personal opinion), but I also couldn't help wondering with friends like that...what kind of opinion did he have of me?! Needless to say, neither of them are in my friend's list! LOL
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RHP User
9 years ago
I've rejected many because of their friends list, not for the same reason though 😉
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thanks for the responses... but I guess, just as it states in my post, I'm asking why it's important to update my friends lists. I didn't mention that I had 350 friend requests because it's been years since I've bothered to look at any of them... This isn't Facebook. If you want to speak to me... message me. My profile is pretty much up to date...but I guess I'm just a little perplexed as to why I'm judged for having friends on my friend list that are considered intimidating to others... and why men feel the need to address this with me as their opening message?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Okay, I can probably attempt to answer your last question, why they feel the need to tell you. I used to do that, and sometimes still do. For me, it's because I feel I owe them an explanation, but I also think many are unaware of how offputting people on a friends list can be (variety of reasons), for some not all obviously, but feedback can either be ignored, carry on regardless if you're happy, it's your profile, or check it and have a rethink if you're worried. But at least you have that feedback. Knowledge is power IMO what you do or don't do with that knowledge, is entirely up to you but my decision to tell them has been a double edged sword, out of respect, letting them know that I would be interested otherwise, but knowing on the other hand, they might get upset with me telling them. The latter is why I rarely do anymore. Anyway, not sure if this makes sense but that feedback has never been given by me with the intention of being nasty. I think you'll find they want to let you know that they would otherwise be interested, a compliment of sorts?
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RHP User
9 years ago
I do look at a persons friends list. Until you actually meet someone all you have to go on is what is in their profile. So yes it does make a difference to me. It's all part of trying to gauge if you could connect with this person. It's not the main deciding factor but it can make a difference.
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RHP User
9 years ago
IRL, the company we keep, like it or not, becomes a convenient reflection of us by the majority who aren't open-minded. It is an intrinsic instinct and encompasses the principles behind "birds of a feather flock together" / "herd mentality" kinda thing. It may not be fair to be judged based on one's friends list, of course, but it is a very basic reaction in humans, ie. "Oh... let's see, she has those friends on her list. The common denominator / pattern amongst all of them is... ah! ...fit and healthy young men with abs! Therefore that's the type she's after! " Or, "She's only got couples on her list - ah! She must be a unicorn!" Very easy to make various types of inferences from one's friends list and often, there's a logic behind the entire process of deducing and profiling. Not saying it's fair, but it exists and forms the basis of several behavioral sciences. Also, some folks' friends list may... shall I say, challenge our comfort zones. Exactly like the examples used by Elliethiya, well said girlfriend! We all have different levels of morality, varying thresholds for sexual kinks and diverse preferences with regards to what we consider yucky-sleazy. If we spot someone's friends list with lots of "sleazy" profiles as per our unique definition of that term, then that could very well be a deal-breaker. OP, countrytouch has a great point about updating your friends list. And cruisinglife has a great suggestion about keeping your friends "covert". Some of my best friends aren't even in my Facebook friends list, and I like to keep it that way - a little bit of Secret Squirrel Business... so intriguing! =D I'm not endorsing the judging of others based on their friends list, OP. But it's something that occurs naturally and if we can't win 'em, we join 'em! We adapt to different rules to come on top of the situation. Friends list is an impediment to getting great sex from dishy men? Well then maybe amend and update the list if getting that long, juicy, thick, hot, throbbing sausage to appease the pussy is more important! Hehe! You get my drift? ;) If I haven't bored you yet, "Deductive reasoning is a basic form of valid reasoning. Deductive reasoning, or deduction, starts out with a general statement, or hypothesis, and examines the possibilities to reach a specific, logical conclusion, according to the University of California.Mar 23, 2015" In your case OP, the hypothesis might be - "The type of friends on one's friends list has a direct influence on the type of potential playmates one is able to attract on RHP." Something like that. Not the perfectly worded hypothesis but ah well, it's a cloudy, rainy day in Melbourne and my mind is still snoozing. :P Great topic, OP!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Had a squiz at your profile and I would never write such a message but neither would I send a message if I were in your age criteria, as your male friends are of the chiseled kind that tells me you do like a certain type of male which is not me. If you felt you did wish to attract a different men or are receiving other rude and insinuating messages, if you have any non-chiseled male friends or females place them at the top of your friends list so they show on your profile. Cheers
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RHP User
9 years ago
Just read your post OP and I think when men address the issue with you right from the start, it could be that they are interested and attracted to you, but that is the one issue that is preventing the deal from being sealed. That kinda situation is akin to us ladies telling ardent sales staff that, "Yes, that handbag / perfume / makeup / skincare / shoes / dress / frying pan / zucchini (!!!) =D, etc etc is great BUT ..." OP, those msgs presented an opportunity for you to respond in a way that might have resulted in some earth-shattering, Richter 10 orgasms from those guys. Perhaps if you see things from a new perspective, you'd turn an irritation into your gain. Win-win! Hot Dawg wins and Pussy wins! *Ding! Ding! Round 2! ;D
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yes it's not Facebook, regardless don't send or except friend requests as mentioned prior. If you received that many flirts I couldn't imagine your mail.? 😂 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
friend requests and flirts would be off the roof.? lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
yeah i've been judged for mine even though mine is made up of people i have met. Oh well... if someone wants to judge me on it they can.
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Andremmo
9 years ago
Absolutely, friends lists are something many people look at when considering a profile. It reveals images of people you associate with and give an insight as to what you are looking for on this site. Your friends list shows you like somewhat older men with muscular, ripped bodies. As a young, attractive single woman on a dating site you can afford to be highly selective - the odds are definitely with you - so why the hell not. The fact that men bring it up when they message you shows that it's a consideration for them too. BUT they are messaging you so its hardly scaring them off and is just being used as a topic in the hope that it might prompt a response that starts the conversation. There are plenty of threads here about non-replies to messages so anything that gets the conversation started is better than an approach that is ignored.
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RHP User
9 years ago
At the start I just accepted any requests cos I didn't know what it did- still not sure what the actual point of it is. Now I just continue to accept cos I feel bad haha. - Posted from rhpmobile
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boobsandbusted
9 years ago
That's for sure ,I deleted all friends of the list recently and keep it empty now ,just cos I felt bad about having to delete one good friend who we have met in real life ,and formed a friendship with but since we added them to our friends list ,every day we would receive messages and flirts thinking we were inclined to a certain type of person ,we liked this person as a person not for any other reason ,but damn the messages we would receive were slightly hair raising ,and all I could think was no no no ,😂I deleted all the friends and bang not one of type of those messages ,so your friend list does influence the attention you receive ,imo What use is the friends list anyway ,am yet to work that out ,having a yap ,that's what Kik or texting is for Mr b - Posted from rhpmobile
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teejaylongsword
9 years ago
I agree with Onlywantone. You are pretty and I would definitely check out your profile. But if I was in your age range, I wouldn't message you at all. The first friends that sit on your profile are so clearly of the same 'type' that they could indeed be members of the same strippers group. I try to write fresh messages rather than using a template and this takes time. So seeing as I don't bother with the gym (but do lots of simple exercise such as walking) I don't have the abs to join your impressive friends list (Hen's party anyone?). It also saves me from a rejection (who needs them?). The men who have sent you negative messages seem a bit silly to me. But maybe they want you to say 'Oh don't worry about that. I want a 'nice guy' now. I have totally learnt my lesson. When do u want to meet?' (lol) I think a friends list should be considered part of the profile, and therefore it should be kept up to date if it is long.
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RHP User
9 years ago
...I think it's worthwhile my pointing out that friends lists...here or on fb...are NOT always a fair reflection of the people one associates with or desires, either. My own list has its one friend because she requested and I saw no harm in it. And I don't request friends because I don't see the need to. I know well enough that I'm not abnormal or special for having one or no "friends"...so any assumptions made from that have no basis in fact. Just my observation.
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RHP User
9 years ago
If they seem high maintenance in their first message then I'm guessing it's not going to get any better in person. I try to keep my friends list to people I've seen and would like to see again. If a person is going to judge you by your friends list then I guess they've got issues of their own that won't be much fun for you. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony' Assumptions, Probabilities and Deductive Reasoning...The same applies to indications people give via the 'like' button. Whilst there are many posted comments/sentiments with which I agree, I've recently tapered off my use of the 'like' indicator also. Several times there have been threads (rightly or wrongly) suggesting the formation of opposing cliques or factions of Posters. Those tensions are obviously unhelpful to discussion of the topics on hand (and those arguments back and forth frequently and rapidly become quite tedious). The use (or not) of 'Friend Lists' and 'Likes' are open to conjecture/interpretation/false assumption as there is no prescribed purpose or method of use of those devices. By not using those devices at all, more direct communication might be encouraged (?) This might include actually reading and thinking about profiles and forum posts before forming judgements. (Then again, I might be overestimating huh?) I'm often surprised how individuals who would profess 'open-mindedness' and a 'mature outlook', are so frequently apt to the value judgements and tit-for-tat arguments expressed by some thread posts (and use of the 'Block' function). Sometimes the discussions and atmosphere of the forum adopt the tenor of a junior high school campus! Whether online or IRL, as adults, surely we must be capable of making decisions on the basis of our own assessments of fact and relative value in any situation. I find it disappointing when it appears people express (or hold back their own) thoughts, feelings, and desires (within reason*), simply for the sake of complying with someone else's ideal. I see this as the antithesis of being honest with yourself, and I can only see it standing in the way of finding a truly happy state of being. Coming back to the high school analogy: If ever you do not know something (or are unsure), rather than risk a flawed assumption, you should be asking questions and engaging in more discussion. It's more direct and usually so much quicker than forming and testing hypotheses. The only stupid question is the question not asked!
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Lovinit28andKC72
9 years ago
I don't tend to look at people's friends list, because I don't really care, there are definitely other things I'm more interested in than who's on their friends list. My friends list consists of people I have met, I did do a rather large clean out some months ago. Got rid of the people I no longer have contact with or who are no longer active on here and the remaining people are people I know personally and have formed some sort of friendship with. More women, than men, maybe that makes me a lesbian lol. 💋
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RHP User
9 years ago
empty
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RHP User
9 years ago
Certainly agree with on your thoughts on the like button and people's approach to using it. funny how some like to use it like Facebook as it's a popularity statement, or to make someone feel less as an individual. Sad. 😔 Best thing I do ontology is log onto the mobile app so you can't see who liked what..🙈🙉🙊 Always enjoy reading your thoughtful mature post's. 😎🎓😎🎓 Let people express themselves with word's. NOT the LIKE button. ? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
...as a lovely lady one my friends's list just that I have not heard from for months just asked me what I had one this week? I answered her....if i got lucky!
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RHP User
9 years ago
We look at profiles in an attempt to build up as full a picture as we can of the person, and every aspect of it becomes relevant and is loaded with some degree of information, intended or not. Friends lists will be no different. What flummoxes me is why someone would then think their opinion and their affront is so valid that they'd go to all the effort to write to you about it. Don't they realize that the very act of doing that relegated them to the reject bin? And even suggests that, if they're what the male sex has to offer, then women might as well just focus on the physical?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thanks, I appreciate it. The intention behind my postings to the forum are captured succinctly (and coincidentally) by a quote I ran across today during some study-related reading: "The only way in which a human being can make some approach to knowing the whole of a subject is by hearing what can be said about it by persons of every variety of opinion and studying all modes in which it can be looked at by every character of mind. No wise man ever acquired his wisdom in any mode but this." John Stuart Mill Now, of course devices such as the 'Like' button, the 'Block' function, and the 'Friends List' all give some indication of opinion but, for the reasons stated earlier, these indications are incomplete information and therefore somewhat flawed as a gauge of what people really think (on any given topic). I'm interested to elicit more elaborate discussion to stimulate the neurons. The more the merrier. (Some people clearly prefer communication just 140 characters at a time. There's a scroll bar to cater for them...)
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'll be your friend 😉
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RHP User
9 years ago
What am I saying, I don't want to be friends with you, I want much more 😇 still ready to jump into bed between you and your wife, snuggle in there 😊
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RHP User
9 years ago
I've only asked one lady to be a friend. I never heard from her. So I took it has a no Here's where I find it weird. I've had three women, ask to friend me. Yeh so, ok why not. So then I send the a message, for no reply. I found that very very strange. I can see, they've opened my message, you can tell when they on line What's that about
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RHP User
9 years ago
To Friend or not to friend. In the end does it really matter? Although there's a lot of hotties in here. You just have to filter out what you do or don't like. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'GloryBe' Here's where I find it weird. I've had three women, ask to friend me. Yeh so, ok why not. So then I send the a message, for no reply. I found that very very strange. I can see, they've opened my message, you can tell when they on line What's that about Spam profiles, not actually women, or both.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' What am I saying, I don't want to be friends with you, I want much more 😇 still ready to jump into bed between you and your wife, snuggle in there 😊 Ok, I'll make you my rag doll, wifey can have what's left over
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RHP User
9 years ago
lol love your use of 'wifey', used by many in a derogatory way, not you though, pretty obvious you love her guts 😀 😉 Dammit 😏
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sorry for veering off topic 😊
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
Unfortunately people do judge one, based on ones "friend" list, and validations, as these are indications of the "company" that one keeps. We have given up counting the number of "friend" requests we have received, from people we have never met. It's as if they are "collecting" friends so as to appear more popular? We have also received several valuations (which we quickly deleted) from people we had simply met for drinks and nothing else. As people do judge one, by ones friend lists, it's best to be more selective and only add those that you have actually met in real life. We don't see any point in having "friends" on a list on here. We don't see what it will achieve / benefit for us. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Koolgrey' ...I think it's worthwhile my pointing out that friends lists...here or on fb...are NOT always a fair reflection of the people one associates with or desires, either. My own list has its one friend because she requested and I saw no harm in it. And I don't request friends because I don't see the need to. I know well enough that I'm not abnormal or special for having one or no "friends"...so any assumptions made from that have no basis in fact. Just my observation. ...that's not correct. Thinking about it, my "friends" on Fb are somewhat of a reflection of me. And the purpose, of course, is because that platform relies on Friends, Likes and Following's to constantly feed my news stream.So, I should have said that "here" only, are Friends lists an inaccurate reflection of a person. - EditorGrey
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boobsandbusted
9 years ago
What price did the put on your VALUATION ,lmao Oh gawd ,i cant talk about gramma typos and punctuation ,but just had to this time ,lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
Yes we saw that - bloody iPhone AutoCorrect or whatever it is called ..... - Posted from rhpmobile
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Obi1kenietzsche
9 years ago
Where's DG when you need him? (It would have been painfully honest) Obi1
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RHP User
9 years ago
Feel free to friend me. Im still on 0 :( - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I just accepted friend requests from casual chats, then I realised I should be more selective and tried to edit, I contacted the rhp support to be told I can't edit on the app. So yes it's a sea of torsos.. And some are friends, others I haven't had contact with in months. So even although I don't have a 'type' I'm sure it looks that way. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I definitely check out a persons friends list if thinking of sending a msg. If you see a certain type of person reflected on a friends list its rather obvious that is their type and saves having to waste anyones time. I wouldn't bother sending a message to let you know though. It's fairly obvious going by the OPs friends list she enjoys the attention of a specific type of man ir she wouldn't have them at the top of her friends list. We have a rather large, diverse friends list mainly because we host parties and it's easier to invite return guests whos company you have enjoyed before than have to go through the search engine. We have maybe one or two we havent met personally but have been in contact with through chat etc. The rest we actually met and our top friends are among our best friends we've met on this site.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I declined my friend requests, one of them got it.The other will probably get by now, at least she won't be publicly connected with me, bye sweetie
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have a zero friends list quite intentionally. It's not that I'm unfriendly, I just don't see the point in having a list of people on here who others may assume I have seen naked.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Always take on every piece of advice from y'all :-) I'll look at my friends list and see if it needs a tidy up or just complete removal. I don't judge others on their lists so I guess I thought I'd be shown a similar courtesy. Hope you all have a great weekend!! Xoxo - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
That all your friends can't give you what you're looking for. Some guys on here are so precious People need to lighten up - Posted from rhpmobile
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GezWouldGo
9 years ago
I never put any emphasis on a persons friends list, actually I've never fully opened a list to "see all", and I wouldn't judge anyone by it anyway, they may have done nothing more than swap a message or two ... if that. Case in point, there was a woman in here a few years ago seemed hell bent on creating some kind of record in that department, she had over 1200 on her list (true) so I flipped her a message, didn't get a reply .... but I did get a friend request! As for myself, no one will ever judge me on my friends list, I don't have one, who I've chatted to or gotten busy with is not for public consumption.
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Supernova
9 years ago
I think some people see their 'friends' list as a trophy cabinet...some of those trophies have obviously never been won Occasionally, for example, a woman will send me a friend request, and I accept it and shoot a well-written message her way, she reads and then doesn't reply? (And NO - I didn't say some wacky, stupid shit - before you all allude!) So I guess the person in question just wanted to beef up their friends list with random guys...like someone said earlier, this isn't facebook...but whatever. I try not to read into it too much, but they can give you an idea of a person's taste I guess.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I don't have friends list and mostly bc I don't trust men easily, if you make my list then maybe your someone I have a connection with. I once teased a guy about his harem of friends and he was a bit funny about it. I was just mucking around though. X - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
mmm love your new pic of Mr 😜
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Danoz123
9 years ago
Different people click for different reasons , personally I believe beauty is not skin deep , but I also think it's up to the individual as to what gets their motor running ..... I prefer to chat first , meet & by then it doesn't matter ..... Dan - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I dont judge people by their friends list. I dont care much about someones past. What matters to me is how they treat me. I guess it may make me a little nervous to make initial contact with a person who has a lot of well built friends, but it wouldnt stop me. Personally, I have no friends on my list, noone has asked to be on it. I dont expect much, being a guest, and to be honest Im not sure how I would react if someone asks to be on it....this should really be for people I feel I know in my opinion.I havent asked to be anyones friend for the same reasons.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think you also have to consider, that as an average looking bloke, you send hundreds of messages with very very replies. It can get very frustrating, and I can understand the point. I would never say it, but I certainly think about it all the time. I often wi see if it's even worth sending a message, because you know she has much better options....just my thoughts! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Interesting topic..it always amazes me how people send u a friend request without even talking..thankx but im not interested in advertising friends and wont b another number to those who choose to collect lol pass If u havnt spoken to anyone they automatically get removed as im very fussy who i choose for friends..no need to advertise 😀
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Not_A_Unicorn
9 years ago
I personally have never really understood the friends list on here and what it's purpose is. I often get requests from people I've never met personally and seriously if I've never met you, we aren't friends. Is it designed as a way to validate you are who you say you are? If so why have a validations section? And vice versa. It offers no real function apart from being able to find someone's page quicker or to let you know that their birthday is happening in a particular month and occasionally you'll see something in the main feed about them updating photos or what not. There are so many people that have hundreds and hundreds of friends? Seriously have you met every single person in your friends list or are you peacocking? I always find it strangely suspicious when a "girl" has over a hundred friends on here but not a single validation. Hmmm anyway. If you make it to my friends list, when I can be bothered accepting a request, it's because we have met in person and there has been a genuine connection either sexually or socially. Maybe there should be an update to the site to allow you to post things to other users pages in a sexy face book kind of way to actually legitimise the friends list. Just an idea. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
"Maybe there should be an update to the site to allow you to post things to other users pages in a sexy face book kind of way to actually legitimise the friends list." That is how it works, well, how it works for me. Friends,that I have met in real life, and their activity, and birthday shows on my feed.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Well, met apart from one - but we are connected elsewhere. And seriously, woman, get your boobage into my face soon. Sheesh ,)
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RHP User
9 years ago
I like giving advice, usually injected with what consider humour. If someone sends you a negative message like 'your friends are so hot, how can I compete', treat them like them weasels they are. If they're not confident in themselves, they likely to be selfish to try to boost their ego. Try guys like me, courageous, well spoken and gorgeous (in my own special way).
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Koolgrey'...that's not correct. Thinking about it, my "friends" on Fb are somewhat of a reflection of me. And the purpose, of course, is because that platform relies on Friends, Likes and Following's to constantly feed my news stream.So, I should have said that "here" only, are Friends lists an inaccurate reflection of a person. - EditorGrey Good edit, my friend ;)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'PepperRose' Well, met apart from one - but we are connected elsewhere. And seriously, woman, get your boobage into my face soon. Sheesh ,) I'll get my face in her boobage for you
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RHP User
9 years ago
^ if I see her before you do
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