F47
How should I phrase this?
March 04 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Seems clear to me, but maybe that was helped by your introduction? Do you include that explanation for why you're asking the question when you pose it?I tend to be fairly flexible and adaptive with my 'style', but do have sexual behaviours and attitudes that feel more natural to me. I think everyone does, so I don't think that question is unreasonable.Mr Tryst
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RHP User
13 years ago
... you could try a more specific line of questioning. For example, name a particular position or act that you like and direct the conversation to very particular techniques, ie pressure, touch, rhythm etc x
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RHP User
13 years ago
just chatting on the phone to someone ,when they are feeling in a comfort zone,they will reveal things. I don't think it is so much about what you ask,but more about how you ask the question. Just recently a man revealed to me that while he enjoyed receiving oral,he disliked the taste of vaginas' It was probably the fourth phone conversation we had,but at least finally he was honest.
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RHP User
13 years ago
That means they have no sexual style or they don't realise there are different ways of having sex??? There are different speeds boys! I reckon that is a NEXT! I don't like ninjas. Men that hardly say a work and take the whole thing really seriously. I want to have a bit of fun with it sometimes nothing worse when I am trying to say something and I get told. Shhhh. What the? LOL
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RHP User
13 years ago
I wonder if it's a communication issue? These lads don't know how to articulate their answer... Maybe it's hard for them to explain that, while they have a natural preference, they have different "styles" for different circumstances and moods, that they can adapt and meet the needs of different partners. That's Perhaps not something they are used to discussing? Or maybe, as meeka points out, they just have one template, and haven't been reflective enough to realise that's pretty limiting... if you're talking about guys in their early 30's, or younger, it's a distant possibility. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Messolonghi' I wonder if it's a communication issue? These lads don't know how to articulate their answer... Maybe it's hard for them to explain that, while they have a natural preference, they have different "styles" for different circumstances and moods, that they can adapt and meet the needs of different partners. That's Perhaps not something they are used to discussing? Or maybe, as meeka points out, they just have one template, and haven't been reflective enough to realise that's pretty limiting... if you're talking about guys in their early 30's, or younger, it's a distant possibility. - Posted from rhpmobile Distinct possibility... stupid autofuckup...
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RHP User
13 years ago
(thanks Meeka for planing the seed)The Ninja: sneaks in, doesn't make a sound. Gets the job done, sneaks out again without leaving a trace.The Cowboy: strides in guns blazing. Makes a huge mess and a lot of noise. Loves to ride.The Fireman: Uses his huge hose to tame the fire. Likes to work in a team.The Salesman: promises the world, but may be sneakily taking care of himself while you think all the attention is on you.The Superhero: Spectacular to look at, but faster than a speeding bullet.The Construction worker: crude, dirty, but sure knows how to use his tool.Me: none of the above, but I definitely have style. Guys who put some thought into it should also be able to discuss it.Mr C
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RHP User
13 years ago
Love your descriptions!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Start with a statement about your own style ala "I like to ... ", then follow up with your question(s). That gives them a hint of what the question's all about.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Just nailed it for me....don't ask make a statement, and let them come on board to disagree/agree/ discuss. You'll soon find out what you need to know in next to no time :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
I like to cable tie women to the bed and go buck wild on them..... what do you think about that? Is this why i am single hahaI like to tell people what i enjoy doing ,nothing wrong with talking and understanding people likes and dis likes.Communication and discussion lead to understanding
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Lilmisschuckles' Start with a statement about your own style ala "I like to ... ", then follow up with your question(s). That gives them a hint of what the question's all about. But I've learned that there are a great many opportunists out there who'll say "Oh yeah, totally, me too" to ANYTHING you say you like.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' That means they have no sexual style or they don't realise there are different ways of having sex??? There are different speeds boys! I reckon that is a NEXT! I fear this is the case
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'kizza1973' I like to cable tie women to the bed and go buck wild on them..... what do you think about that? Is this why i am single hahaI like to tell people what i enjoy doing ,nothing wrong with talking and understanding people likes and dis likes.Communication and discussion lead to understanding Don't ask; don't get. How will anyone find a match for their kinky desires if they pretend they don't have any?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Dear Ms Curious.I think guys know what they like (well, they had better). However, some guys like to experiment. Based on your questions, they are three very different questions. All I have to say, the guys know what they like. Some might want to try different things depends on the person, their partner for the night (or day) and the mood. Half of it is made up on the spot depending on the responses.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Cable ties would cut into the skin to much but then again some people may like that :-) I think the questions you have said are great, they are straight to the point and you know what you want out of it :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
My suggestion was related to finding a way to get the men to say something other than 'I don't know'. Whatever they say, you'll still need to decide for yourself whether or not they're full of shite :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Then chances are, he's simply telling you want you want to hear in his mind. Besides its boring to agree 200% of the time....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Seriously? GB now TB. Lol Anyway, the ones that agree with all you say and brag about how adventurous they are, are usually so clueless about sex and experimentation that they think doggy style is adventurous. It's those guys I normally say sorry but you are not kinky enough for me. They, as you would expect, act outraged. Me you must be joking! I will do anything once. To which I reply. Oh really, now let me tell you a little story.................... This normally leads them to agree. Yes they are not adventurous enough for me. And I am fairly vanilla!! LOL Fuck me there are some straight people in this world! :p- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
The point I was trying to make, is what sort of arrangement is truly stimulating if you both agree on absolutely everything??? It's my view that its not very....it's my view that having a difference of opinion drives intelligent debate/discussion. That discussion, I think we can agree on, is what stimulates mental attraction.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think that also, that IF we make decisions on the credibility/trustworthiness of our partners based on whether or not their actions match their verbal claims, then I ask, how can you possibly be able to tell a persons sexual style until you've ACTUALLY been there for yourself??? It's my view, that you can't.
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RHP User
13 years ago
"How would you feel about licking the gerbil clean when I pull it out, I promise to put the muzzle back on""Oh yeah I really like gerbil licking!""Well i think that's a little sick, I was asking how you felt about it remember"..This sort of questioning line may allow you to use chuckles idea and still weed out the yes men?
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RHP User
13 years ago
just be bruitally honest. show that you need to 4fill ur sexual desires. dont hide yorself away from the person you suposidly love. should take my own advise, however it has 2 b a 2 way street. rediscover eachother, sooner or their might not be a later.
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RHP User
13 years ago
shit, I can hardly dress myself now we have sex style...bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I really hate to be ask what I like in bed, I think come get me and find out for yourself. just stay away from my bum...I am booring as bat shit when it comes to sex. so my style is...starfish with a little bit of attitude
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RHP User
13 years ago
Just read your post *hands covering eyes and giggling* ;-)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Looks like you need to be more specific as you can see from some of the answers. They don't get it. Obviously it depends on the day, how you hit it off, the mood you are both in blah blah but surely most people have certain things they like or certain styles? And no, if you can't tell me that without being come meet me first. Sorry... But NEXT! For instance if a guy views sex very seriously and doesn't like to have a laugh or communicate during sex I know that he is not for me. I don't need to meet him to know that. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
That is meant to say if you can't tell me that upfront and instead insist that I come meet you first then that is a next. It's not a hard question. Surely?- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
What you ask sounds fine to me. If they can't answer those questions then maybe they are not on your level or maybe they are just out for a quick fuck and not a friendship. Depends on what you want from the people you meet here. We like to make ongoing friendships online so take the time to consider questions and answer them as best as we can. Would never consider asking "What you mean" to any of your questions.
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RHP User
13 years ago
You're talking about the wrong word. It isn't sex *style*. I can change my style like I change my clothes. You want to know about my sex PERSONALITY. Serious? Jocular? Casual? Intense? And so forth. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
I don't think it is the question that is wrong it is the lead in and expected result... most people don't really seem to think about their "Style" as a few posts have pointed out they would think more along the lines of "What am I up for right now?". If you asked me any of the questions for this thread two days running you would get a different answer... even twice on the same night (say before and after dinner) the answer would be different. So maybe approaching the same questions with a lead-in would be a better way of getting the response you want. e.g. If you have a choice of "Hard and Fast" or "Soft and Slow"... How do you like it?. That would lead an answer without given the clue as to what you want so the response would be more honest. Just a thought.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Well it's seem clear to me what you want to know so if they can't tell you they sure as hell do it.x
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RHP User
13 years ago
I would just ask them "If you could do anything you want with me, what would it be?". If nothing else, you would get a pretty good idea of what they are thinking. For example, if their answer was "I would put the kettle on and make a nice cup of tea so that we could sit down and get to know each other" then you may be best served looking elsewhere. If they answered "I would take you with me to my next AA meeting", then perhaps not also. Likewise, an answer like "Well, that depends on what you would let me do" doesn't really answer the question so should be a sign that there is not much of an imagination living here. But, if the answer was along the lines of "I would take you to a nice Italian (or whatever takes your fancy) restaurant and find a private table. I would buy you whatever you wanted on the menu and a nice wine to go with it. I would take your hand in mine and stare into your beautiful brown (or blue, or green, or...) eyes and listen to your voice as we got to know each other better. I would take you back to my place, turn the lights down low (or up high, or off!) and slowly undress you as my hands explored every beautiful curve and inevitable imperfection of your body. I would lie you down and gently rub aromatic oils into your skin as I teased the tiredness out of your weary muscles. As you relaxed I would sit beside you and watch you fall asleep. And when you woke up in the morning, refreshed and rejuvenated, I would pray that you remembered last night with a smile and wanted to see me again." Then you would either need a chunder bucket or you would have found a romantic male. From what I have heard, chunder buckets are more easily available.
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