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  PandaAndBri

  11 days ago

  Great question! Our first couple of interactions on the Pie certainly showed us this. I especially need to message and chat for a while before I get a feel for a person/couple. This does not always work for others. One couple we chatted to were quite pushy for a quick meet so that taught us what we didn’t like and what didn’t align for us. They also then blocked us after we asked to slow it down. Also taught us to trust our gut. Bri

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  Nightglider

  11 days ago

  Sounds like a familiar theme that I’ve written about on here or commented on several times. Unfortunately when people take things personally, it’s often due to ego, or requirement for self validation of sorts. Many forget to pause, step back and remind themselves that it’s 100% about “mutual” alignment. Pure and simple really, nothing personal, just something doesn’t align. I feel that the people that would benefit from a post like this generally don’t read forums. They’re less reflective and more reactive IMO. I’m not going into more detail here, as feel many who have read my forum posts and responses to others posts will already have a good idea of where I stand on alignment.

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  Voluptas

  11 days ago

  Love this post - thought provoking.. The biggest misalignment for me comes from being a single woman in this lifestyle. I step into connections with openness, desire, and a willingness to explore, but too often I end up feeling like an 'accessory' to someone else’s fantasy. There are moments where the dynamic leaves me feeling more like a service than a person, like my presence is there to heighten their experience while mine is treated as secondary. What pulls me out of the moment isn’t the intimacy itself, but what happens after. The warmth, the attention, the connection often vanish unless someone wants another encounter. It leaves me craving something deeper a sense of being valued, desired, and remembered beyond the moment. I’m realising that this misalignment might come down to how I communicate what I need: connection, care, and a spark that lasts longer than a single night. I’m learning to honour that, and to seek out people who want the same kind of energy.

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  MissyT

  10 days ago

  This is a great post, thank you. As a sapio (and I’m very upfront about this), it’s not just about a physical attraction. I’ll need conversation and connection to exist before I’ll take things further. That’s not for everyone, and I’m okay with that. Some might find my profile hard work, too much of a read, yadda yadda, but I’ve written it that way to save the angst of misalignment and perceived rejection later. No one wants to feel like their time has been wasted, nor does a member want to feel treated poorly. I’ve set boundaries upfront to minimize the collateral damage early.

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  Alex_Lover

  10 days ago

  Great topic, alignment is so very important. I think we connected on another app a week or 2 ago. I noted my girlfriend is not into playing with straight guys. You said you're not bi. I said all good, seems we're not aligned and wished you well. Which you reciprocated to me. And we were done. Simple, respectful and easy. Misalignment quickly identified. Love it, Alex.

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  S33kNud1stFr3nds

  7 days ago

  Alignment is really what it's about, then the rest take their seat. There can be attraction but if there is no Alignment, it's pointless . People need to not see it as rejection. It's not.

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  GlitzyGiraffe

  6 days ago

  The worst thing that can come out of an experience is a problem. And guessing we will all have had those to some extent. And a problem for some, is not for others. It can even be a problem for one in the relationship and not be right for both. So we try to keep ourselves on the good side of problematic situations. As this is meant to be additive to our relationship, it has the be right for both of us. For us, and our dynamic, neither of us takes one for the team. So, our NO will be for not now for this part of where we are today. It may remain a no forever; it may be a maybe, later; it may be a not now, though please can we talk again later. This is a journey, not a destination. For us everyone needs to be enjoying the experience. Stop is stop, whenever it is called. That is our respect journey, and for us respect is a primary.

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  Chilledguy

  3 days ago

  Misalignment is one thing, but then you get people who can't be stuffed to reply or even say, no thanks. The worst part of this site is just trying to get a foot in the door. Another topic that I'm sure is spoken about many times in these forums. This site in general appears to be moreso about ego then it is about finding the right alignment with others. Fair enough a profile gives you face value, a general idea about them, but unless you actually converse with them.... how do you know???

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