Keeping it fun but not too invested

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  Sawadee

  7 months ago

  Have your boundaries, let them be known.. and enjoy yourself...

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  RHP User

  7 months ago

  It happens. Way back in my early days of the swinging scene I teamed up with a woman I met online. We happily went to parties as a couple and enjoyed group play and swapping. One night she was with another man and I was with another woman. She came over and asked me to step out for a chat. She told me that when she watched me with the other woman she had a red rage of jealously and we had to stop. We kept going to parties as we had made good friends but we would only play together and watch others. Slowly she decided she could cope again but it was an interesting time. Another time a female playmate fell in love with her and wanted them to be a FF couple. She and I had long conversations about it. In the end she decided I was her primary partner and we had to let the other woman go. The girls remained friends to this day. I moved and we ended our relationship and we are still friends years later too.

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  TheMinx

  7 months ago

  Being calm, grounded, causal and honest with myself. For me it’s about keeping my own life full with friends, hobbies, gym, everything! That way the connection doesn’t take over. If it’s fun, great. If not, I move on. I personally need emotional intelligence in my "friends" 😉 as less drama more understanding and better at communicating building a better connection, resulting in trust. Equals my happy place. 😊 Side note after a play a feed then ticks all my boxes 😅 The question is why is it not ok to cop feelings we are after all humans. Keep checking in with yourself and making sure its working for you.

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  Ex007

  7 months ago

  I've not really had that problem as communication has always been good. However, I did emotionally invest a little in 2 men over my many years on the App. When that happened I cut all ties with them.

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  BarberBoss1981

  7 months ago

  Don't have contact every day...a month minimum between each visit...see other people...dont do sleep overs. If you genuinely dont want anything serious or to get the feels, then thats what always worked for me

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  Flirty2020

  7 months ago

  We make our boundaries, ground rules etc very clear from the onset. We never host at home. Any play sessions happen on neutral ground and never spill over into our personal lives. We rarely give out our mobile numbers. We generally never give out our full names (surnames) as from there people could find our Facebook profiles, address etc. We have experienced stalkers, from here and within the swinging lifestyle, in the past and for this reason we keep our real lives and our swinging lives, very separate from one another.

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  selfless__lover

  7 months ago

  We are all humans and it's perfectly natural to develop feelings for someone if you are being intimate with them and spending a lot of time together and communicating quite often. It comes down to setting boundaries and rules so that you can keep things casual and not fall into relationship territory which is where people can begin to get clingy or jealous. I find that being upfront and open about what you want, keeping in contact but not daily, avoiding doing "couple" dates too often and occasionally taking some time away to yourself work well. The main thing is being open minded to the fact people can develop feelings even if they say they are only after something casual, and when that occurs having a discussion on whether it can be reigned in or if you have to go your separate ways. You are way smarter than me my friend so I don't want to tell you how to suck eggs, you would know much better than me.

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  Blueflamingo

  7 months ago

  Great topic I think most can relate to. I treat every date, play, sleepover etc as the last one with that person. This makes me give my all and not expecting anything more from that person in the future. The daily texting is a minefield I steer away from now, because I will start expecting to hear from them. It will feel very much like a relationship because they become a daily part of my life. In the past I have started to share daily life stuff as well, which also can be a trap into the relationship feels. I keep those conversations for very close friends only. I have learnt the hard way not to put all my eggs into one basket. The experience taught me a lot and I am grateful for that, because I am in a much clearer mindset now. Having more than one regular lover/fwb allows me to be less dependent on one person. Being able to be honest and open with close friends I have made through events and rhp have been the most valuable lesson of them all. You know who you are ❤️😘🩵🦩

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  MsSuperFoxy

  7 months ago

  Respecting peoples privacy is a huge one. Same goes for asking questions about their private life. KEEP IT SIMPLE! Ms Foxy

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  JustAManNextDoor

  7 months ago

  It’s never easy to navigate the world of human emotion. What works for one FWB doesn’t always work for another. I may be new to this site, but not to the lifestyle, and I’ve learned that the lines can easily blur—especially when things include dates, dinners, and sleepovers. That’s why I believe communication is essential. Clear boundaries around interaction and privacy help keep things healthy and respectful. And if deeper feelings start to develop, they should be talked about openly—not ignored or dismissed.

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  seekandplay

  7 months ago

  I love this post. I think for me, I find myself in a lovely position of being absolutely comfortable being on my own and the thought of being in a relationship right this very moment is the last thing I would want. That one thing alone is big enough for me to not catch any feelings. I like my independence way too much to give it up for a man. I think also because my friend is in an ENM marriage and adores his wife, it sets very clear boundaries of what him and I are now and will always be - friends. We don’t message every single day, we don’t call each other, we don’t act as if it’s a relationship… because it isn’t one. We might see each other a couple of times a month, other times maybe once. The less we see each other, the more fun it is when we get to spend time together. I think that helps us keep our connection fun. I also like his wife too much to ever want to do anything to bring drama to her life! So it just seems to work for us. All the fun, not emotionally involved.

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  SkittishNymph

  6 months ago

  I used to have a weekly roster for my carousel and did sleepovers. It all comes down to what people are looking for. Being honest and communicating is really helpful. The carousel of playmates slowed down when I met my nesting partner as I started wanting to engage in more intimate play where emotions were more involved. Now I have fwb playmates and am happy to be open, share feelings with them but Im not looking for more serious relationships with them. I care about them in the sense that if they're having a rough day or need a hand I find it rewarding to help out (common kindness), and we do sleepovers because I usually need all night and morning to play. I find the emotionally avoidant guys are the ones more likely to be worried about catching feelings if they have sleepovers and thats just naturally been not my type to hang out with- the intimacy never feels as good. People who dont do sleepovers are probably more looking for a 1-and-done session instead of playing until Im thoroughly satisfied.

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  dianet

  6 months ago

  Great topic given I'm looking for the exact opposite! Over the years starting out as strictly (strictly!) NSA then gradually evolving to deeper connections, I've always appreciated the ones who have been brutally honest. "There will be a limit to our connection", "I don’t want a girl/boyfriend", "I adore you but I can't go further", "I dont feel that way about you" etc are some of the very honest phrases that have stuck in my mind from some very lovely people. And I'm so grateful to those who said that out loud, who were willing to lose the play but kept their integrity. I still keep a great friendship and high regard for them rather than those who roped me in saying what they thought I wanted to hear just to keep me as an option and caused so much intentional damage!

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  Justdoingstuff

  6 months ago

  We began by trying swinging, but both of us found we actually want that connection with our partners and leant into being polyamorous. For us we can still have fun with people, we just know that feelings may develop and it is how we handle them when they do. Both of us love each other incredibly, and have also loved others at the same time. We talk about it, we know that we are each others nesting partners and our other partners are important to us as are their feelings. We don't see it as a zero sum game, ie if strong feelings occur, there is no need to end any other relationships. Those feelings can be felt, even enjoyed, and discussed. Once that happens then we make decisions on those relationships with all of us fully informed. We both also know that just because we have feelings for others doesn't mean they feel the same, and we are not at all interested in having people break up with their partners to be with one of us or both of us.

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