My Journal

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  one question....do you want her back??? if you do...fix it sometimes things that look lost can be fixed if you just try dont go down without a fight if you love her...fight for her roxxy xxx

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Fight for her if she is the one you want...you know how to find me if you need an ear..the couch is here for you babe. Hugs Focus

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  First up, I'm really sorry this has happened to you both. It takes a lot of guts to publically announce the end of a relationship, let alone the struggle you are going thru as a consequence. Like everyone else on this site, I am familiar with the process & the ensuing tumultuous emotional turmoil you are both going thru. In my humble opinion, once a decision has been made,that decision should be respected & any opportunities for reconcilliation put on hold during the 'settlement' period. Reason being, this is a highly emotional time for everyone &, in my experience, emotional fragility impairs ones ability to effectively communicate their needs, to the significant other. My preferred method of managing a situation such as this, is the 'time out' rule. Everyone in their respective corners, doing their best to sort themselves out until a time whereby they can both return to the 'table' & comfortably discuss whats going on. Yep, its damn painful, your brain goes a million miles an hour, you struggle to think about anything else, constantly asking yourself and others why, sleep goes out the window, your appetite disappears, you feel physically ill and so on. Almost impossible to accomplish anything, let alone a reconcilliation while thats going on. The one thing I hope you take away from this is, being a man requires more than just sucking it up, among other things it takes recognition & understanding when he needs help and being unafraid to ask for support. You've already done that. Now its a matter of sourcing meaningful support & by that I mean professional counselling FOR YOU..(best option would be for you both but separately..for now) Takes the pressure off everyone & (if you find a good practitioner) makes a horrendous situation just that little more bearable. Best of luck xxx

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  totally with MyName..... Time is what is needed here....Not only for you, but for her as well. I don't have anything else to add as MyName said it all. I too am sorry for the pain you are both going through. xFunlovingx

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Myname has a way of putting it... and I must say I agree with her. But it's no solice for you at the moment. Take each day as it comes, give it time, show her you still love and care for her. That's all you can do... and maybe; thing may work out. Just Don't force the issue as you run the risk of pushing her away even further. You will find the inner strength... Don't be afraid to cry, it doesn't make you any less than a man.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I have caught this show late on tuesday nights where they take a couple who are in dire marital situations and they rebuilt the relationship from the ground up. Something they do everytime is to write a letter to each other. In that letter they pour their soul and their heart. They say exactly what thay need to say. Write yourself a letter and write one for your wife. Tell her all the things you should have, go back and rewalk the path that lead you to this moment and make every one of them better for you two as a couple. Write the letter to yourself. Put these emotions into words and allow yourself to feel them. To feel pain is to feel love.You look to yourself for the strength to go on and yet its their in you right now. Draw on your pain and emotions to learn and grow. Thats true strength, overcoming weakness through development. best wishes Rob

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Damn sorry to hear about any love going sour. Some wise opinions here but I really think with our little glimpse into your lives here does not give us enough information to offer definitive advice. It may be best to leave space and time or you may need to fight for your life, this we cannot know. It's interesting all this comes at the fabled 7 year itch time. I truly believe this 7 year period is one of the big tests of a relationship (i've had a previous love that didn't survive it). I can remember having a tumultuous time of it with Mrs Pup too but we got through the other side. I've also heard the 7 year test happens pretty much every 7 years of the relationship, so there's something to look forward to arrghh!!! There's only one piece of advice I can give that is absolute, GET PROFESSIONAL HELP. 7 years together and with kids you owe it to yourselves. Get this help together and separately. Bugger the cost, bugger the excuses just do it. Relationships Australia charge you on a sliding scale based on income (you could lie if you like but they do a super job so give em what they're worth). An open, trained mind can be a great help whether you end up together or apart it'll help both of you. You both MUST be completely honest though. Bad memories can be hard to forget but they can be addressed properly and both of you can grow from it but it's impossible to do by yourselves. I wish you both luck in this time and hope neither of you makes a hasty decision that you'll regret one day.

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