M66
Not returning messAges
December 06 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
This topic has been done to death. No answer is an answer for some people and if you don't like it then don't be on here. Next. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree how hard is it to say no thanksits just rude
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'cadidate'the number of times I have sent a polite request to other couples to look at both myself and my partners profiles and if there interested to to get back to me . So.......... safe guess..... they're not interested..... perhaps?!!!!! DG
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
Nowhere does it state on the RHP Terms of use page, people have to duty/right/obligation reply to messages. Here you go for some light reading. http://www.redhotpie.com.au/Terms/TermsOfUse.aspx. ELIGIBILITY 3. You wish to participate in the online community provided by RedHotPie in a manner that is consistent with the goals and values of an online community, which respects an individual's right of self-determination in matters of an adult nature;, GENERAL CONTENT You are solely responsible for your interactions with other RedHotPie users, registered users and/or members and you should proceed with your personal safety foremost at all times. To me this means it is not breaking the laws of Western Australia (or Australia) or breaking RHP Terms of use, if one does not reply/respond to messages. I understand it must be frustrating however it is what it is - here or in real life. Foxy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Cadidate Welcome to the nut house.. Women are swamped with messages. It is far easier to ignore them all. Some girls start with good intentions and write a reply to every one. But that only results in even more messages with added complications, the whys, begging, the bullshit.. etc Very soon women learn that the easiest way to deal with the problem is just to read what appeals, if one takes their fancy they will reply. If not they move on. Its not about being rude it is about avoiding the rudeness of the hordes of pestering boys that think that any reply is a reason to continue. So put your self in other persons shoes. I am very sure that within a week you would start ignoring some messages. With in a month you would not even bother opening half of them. Before long you will be considering the block button. 80% guys seem to treat women on here as if they are just another piece of meat. People did not join this site to correspond to every man and his dog. You do not expect random strangers on the street to wave or smile back, let alone write you a message of apology for not liking them. Why should that be any different here. Consider each message you write carefully and only send if you feel there is a real possibility of compatibility, don't just shoot off random messages because you fall in their "looking for" criteria. Respect is earned.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' Nowhere does it state on the RHP Terms of use page, people have to duty/right/obligation reply to messages. Here you go for some light reading. http://www.redhotpie.com.au/Terms/TermsOfUse.aspx. ELIGIBILITY 3. You wish to participate in the online community provided by RedHotPie in a manner that is consistent with the goals and values of an online community, which respects an individual's right of self-determination in matters of an adult nature;, GENERAL CONTENT You are solely responsible for your interactions with other RedHotPie users, registered users and/or members and you should proceed with your personal safety foremost at all times. To me this means it is not breaking the laws of Western Australia (or Australia) or breaking RHP Terms of use, if one does not reply/respond to messages. I understand it must be frustrating however it is what it is - here or in real life. Foxy I don't *have* to reply to the myriads of messages and flirts I get???
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RHP User
11 years ago
I replied to a message just this morning saying thanks but no thanks and was berated for sending a template and threatened with karmic retribution... Sorry OP, but people like him and several others who have sent similar rude responses to a polite refusal have ruined it for everyone else. Instead of blaming women for not responding, how about you take some of your fellow men to task for being arseholes...
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RHP User
11 years ago
I can sympathise with you regarding your comment there's no need for that sort of reply ,,,at least you replied And like you said it probably has ruined it for others. .my comment was actually about couples and not directed to women. .
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree with what you are saying, but not entirely, my messages are to couples not single women, .i do like to compose a polite message . I guess I should get my partner. To write the message and then see if there is a different outcome..
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'cadidate' I can sympathise with you regarding your comment there's no need for that sort of reply ,,,at least you replied And like you said it probably has ruined it for others. .my comment was actually about couples and not directed to women. . I misread your original post. You did say couples. Perhaps my experience does give you some insight into why some people don't bother responding anymore though. I know that my experience is not an isolated one either, there have been threads on the forum written by women who have also been outright abused for politely declining someone's advances. I still try to be polite and respond to everyone who messages me, but it gets tiresome having to deal with the responses to my responses...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Araps' This topic has been done to death. No answer is an answer for some people and if you don't like it then don't be on here. Next. - Posted from rhpmobile No answer is an answer .....
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RHP User
11 years ago
Admittedly I haven't done the message thing for a few years now but when I was doing the online dating thing I never received an abusive response when saying no thank you to someone. Guys on here must have changed or really it's the way women word their response probably.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is to accept unconditionally that not all people are going to have the same views as you. This not only applies to those who do reply and cop a mountain of abusive vitriol when rejected, but also those who don't get a reply. It's THEIR shit and not yours to deal with....so let them bask in the ambience of their bitterness as it's only ever going to affect those who project it..... :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Couple profiles get just as swamped with messages from single guys as single Women profiles so the same arguemet applies. I am sure you have noticed the volume of couple profiles that have "no single guys" on them. Usually they are couples who only play together so only looking for other couples only. But once again it's the idiot guys who still message thinking they are awesome and the exception to the rule and then message something nasty when try get rejected (well duh they are only looking for couples ....) that ruin it and become the straw that broke the camels back for that particular couple. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Araps'Usually they are couples who only play together so only looking for other couples only. But once again it's the idiot guys who still message thinking they are awesome and the exception to the rule and then message something nasty when try get rejected That is very true. My suggestion would be to set up a couples profile for you and your playmate. When couples looking only for other couples get messages from single men, I think it's likely they are annoyed before even reading your message, and perhaps don't even open it. (You can see who read your messages in your Sent folder.) After all, from their point of view you have respected them by either not reading their profile, or ignoring their preferences. Two capital offences in RHP land. Good luck x
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RHP User
11 years ago
Great pics, I love a smiling face!
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
method. Couples are the hardest ones to deal with so simplify the process. Have a couples profile....doh!
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'Keepitsimple72' I replied to a message just this morning saying thanks but no thanks and was berated for sending a template and threatened with karmic retribution... Sorry OP, but people like him and several others who have sent similar rude responses to a polite refusal have ruined it for everyone else. Instead of blaming women for not responding, how about you take some of your fellow men to task for being arseholes... This pretty much happens once a week for me. I politely respond to messages (a large percentage of the messages are cut and paste generic intro messages with no reference to who I am and want as stated on my profile) with a template reply when I find they do not appeal to me. I do get the grovelling, begging and even the abusive reply back!!! Geez... A no win situation for us women. So OP, please understand that it is not personal. We just are run down by the verval mazing. So just move on and good luck.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've tried my hardest to reply to every message but it gets really hard especially when I write out a very polite response and explain why they may not have appealed to me. Wether it ls age or what they've specified in their profile or even if there isn't enough information or pictures. The worst thing for me is though, is even after I reply they beg and they bother me and they wine or they call me horrible names because of my preferences. I'm almost at the point now where I don't want to reply. I'm trying my hardest not to say "I don't want to you because you're my dad's age" especially when it's specified. I think women are getting to the stage where we can't be polite or even acknowledge them any more because it becomes even worse as the conversation of "no, no thank you, thanks any way" continues and becomes harassment... Might just be me but I seriously doubt it - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Elliot_m You don't need to write a personalised no to people who aren't what you are looking for, just make a polite generic template. If someone matches your criteria but you're not interested, maybe personalize if you wish. But the cycle is that so many people don't reply, that as a guy it encourages a scattergun approach, if you get a reply it = life... Life = hope... Once you find life you're ahead of the game... Ie in with some sort of hope... For 99% of guys particularly the new ones, this place is like walking out of the desert and finding a ghost town... There are pretty mannequins in the shop windows, but there are no signs of life. Messages don't get replied to, you recieve almost no profile views because women largely don't search, and if they do its in stealth mode, so if you get a reply, you are craving attention so the begging, pleading and whining can start and after enough rejection you might be on the receiving end of some poor schmucks previously pent up frustration. It's not right, but maybe this will provide some context... It's normally nothing to do with you, but you're an ear to unload on. Personally, I think that stealth mode should be gotten rid of, and people should be encouraged more to reply to all contacts. I note that rsvp has recently introduced a $ back guarantee on stamps of someone doesn't reply within 30 days, I've been burned on that one before, when someone asks you to message, but then vanishes... When you're new and not jaded, it hurts... If we stood in each other's shoes a bit more often I think we'd all be a bit nicer... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thank you hp. It's hard because I don't want to be rude. That really helps knowing that people do send out templates I didn't want to seem rude as that's not the kind of person I am. I definitely encourage people to at least reply because it provides insight to what can be improved on a profile (more pictures etc). But I really do hate when people don't read over my profile specifics first. To me it comes off as desperate and makes me question how many people in the last 10 minutes they've sent a message - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
remove "if you're interested get back to me" from your initial message. That in itself sets you up for a no response by default - no interest being the case that is.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Elliot_m' Thank you hp. It's hard because I don't want to be rude. Unfortunately we women often think that we need to try and keep everyone happy, all of the time, and that the world will end if we happen to offend someone. Hence we tie ourselves in knots to try and be nice to all and sundry, keep everyone happy and avoid offending anyone. However as you will no doubt discover, no matter how nice you are or how much you tiptoe around things, you will never be able to make everyone happy and people will still be offended or angry simply because you didn't give them the answer they wanted. So eventually you start to worry less about it all. Sure there's no need to be rude...but you can certainly be polite whilst asserting yourself and your preferences, and recognise that any shit you get back from them is not your problem to worry about.
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RHP User
11 years ago
As it has been said this topic is an old one and the answers are always the same. No answer is the answer.build a bridge dude and get over it. take the attitude that you will never get a response, then if you ever get one you will be over the moon. it doesn't mater how you construct you message. but you will get more responses if you get your partner to send the message.
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RHP User
11 years ago
i think its rude not to reply with even a "no " or ur a hideous ugly cunt would be good too lol tho on a serious note most men have self respect and don't want to beg especially after there has been chemistry and a connection through messages then bam nothing! (it happens a lot on here ) basically all i'm saying is most men want to know where they stand and the majority are respectable guys who will take ur "no for an answer :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'champ89_86'on a serious note most men have self respect and don't want to beg Having read the posts on RHP for some time we regularly hear about men who beg here so there are a few out there who are letting Team Penis down...
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RHP User
11 years ago
A reply is good manners, even though this is an adult site a bit of decorum doesn't go astray... As for replying, if the original message was detailed and obviously took some effort to write, then reply accordingly.. If its a generic "Hey, you up for a chat" then a suitable "no, good luck with your search" template is required.. Manners go a loooong way :) If a tosser then hassles/insults then report and block.. :) Good luck Giddy :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Elliot_m' I really do hate when people don't read over my profile specifics first. To me it comes off as desperate and makes me question how many people in the last 10 minutes they've sent a message On of my profiles (I have five) says: "Hi, thanks for your message. I'm afraid you don't meet the requirements that I mention in my profile, so all the best and good luck." x M" I mostly get nice responses (like "Thanks for replying", or "Sorry, I missed that") and sometimes a "How do you mean? I meet all of your requirements" response, mostly from men who skipped my height requirement that I mention twice. Very rarely (twice a year or so) do I get an angry reply. I think a lot has to do with the delivery of a rejection, but like Luckdragon said: you can't please everyone.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think you need to make friends with a woman with a profile in here and sit down with her one day... and go through her mailbox with her. Your perspective will broaden.... a LOT>
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Jack_Denials' Quoting 'champ89_86'on a serious note most men have self respect and don't want to beg Having read the posts on RHP for some time we regularly hear about men who beg here so there are a few out there who are letting Team Penis down... LOL. Team Penis. I like it. Yes some men beg and some men will also offer to pay you, or they try and bribe you with flights interstate and to put you up in a 5 star hotel, etc. I was even offered a trip to New York once. My least favourite messages start with "So are you ready to be treated like a princess............ " YUCK DUDE!! As if!
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Have you not been reading or listening to the endless repetitive responses we women hav been posting regarding responding? Do so and you may learn to empathize why we respond as such. We try to be courteous to no avail. Do not judge us but why don't you chase down and flog that nasty minority that ruin it for you nice guys. It may help your case.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' "So are you ready to be treated like a princess............ "
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' My least favourite messages start with "So are you ready to be treated like a princess............ " YUCK DUDE!! As if! I actually ended up adding that to my profile.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' My least favourite messages start with "So are you ready to be treated like a princess............ " "PAMPER" Who "pampers" anyone? Sounds like they intend to put you in a nappy.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ha! Yes pamper is sometimes used. I like to indulge myself often. Massages, facials, pedicures and manicures but performed by professionals. I find it creepy that a stranger offers to take me out to a 5 star restaurant and then will pamper me like a princess. That's just me tho, some women like it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I would view a man like that as quite submissive. Not the type of submission that I am looking for..... ⊂(◉‿◉)つ
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RHP User
11 years ago
If I were a woman.... it'd tell me the guy didn't think he had anything else to offer and had to throw "stuff" on offer to negotiate you into a stranger liking him. Weak and insecure. And then the stuff dries up..... so does she.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Our profile clearly denotes that we are looking for couples only. We are still fairly new to this adventure and obviously have also taken on board feedback we have received from others regarding single males on sites such as this (rightly or wrongly). As such, we don't consider any messages or flirts from single males. We simply block immediately. The rationale is that we have indicated one of our boundaries on our profile. A message or flirt from a single male indicates that they are not prepared to respect our boundaries (regardless of the message content). If they can't respect our boundaries regarding our profile, we have absolutely no trust that they would respect them in a play date situation. If our boundary ever changes, we'll update our profile to reflect it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Him: Hello Me: Hi, thank you very much, but I must say that is the worst message I've received here. I'm afraid you're not quite who I'm looking for, so good luck and all the best. Him: Please accept my humblest apology, so rude of me to say hello, where are my manners?What exactly were you expecting, a poem declaring my undying love for you?Strange, the fat chicks are usually a lot more grateful of the attention. ...
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have only recently signed up to this site. In the short time I have been here I am applauded by the complete disregard and disrespect the majority of men have when they post a message to me. I have repetadly changed my profile in an attempt to stop the riff raff filling my inbox. Seldom does anyone even read my profile. I tried to say sorry no thank you, you are not for me. That turned out only to enchourage even worse behavior. Really are poeple that rude in real life? What do they possible hope to achieve when they reply with such a rude temperament. I do read every message, but I will no longer reply as I feel it is pointless to do so. I do not want to be rude but with the endless pile of messages that show they have not read, or understood what they read, I feel that to ignore them is all I can do to show equal respect in return. That does also includes men that are polite on the first message. Do you not understand that no means no. I am not one that likes to say sorry for another's mistake. I am not sorry that I am not attracted to you and I owe you nothing if you message me, and yes I am a stuck up snob. Please respect that. PS. I have been reading the forums and find the subjects very enlightening. It is nice to know I am not alone. What a strange but attracting world I have stumbled upon.
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RHP User
11 years ago
... I know the person has read my profile before messaging me... If the message doesn't come with the subject line indicated in my profile.. I just delete the message without reading it.. It just means I know the person has read it and it saves time.. *shrugs*
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RHP User
11 years ago
My understanding is a lot of the people who are upset about not getting responses don't quite understand the... volume of replies women get. And fair enough, it's hard to get your head around. I was curious about the topic so I spoke to some ladies about it. Even the ones with no profile pics and template profiles get absolutely drowned with responses from men, both inside and outside of their criteria. The problem is you're looking at it as being disrespected or as a personal slight against you. That's not it at all. Imagine you're on here, you don't spend much time here cause you're busy with life, and you've got a good ten or twenty messages *a day* to respond to. You probably wouldn't respond to them all. You wouldn't have time to. Add that to the begging and abusive responses that some ladies have mentioned here, and can one really blame them? That's the pitfalls with sites like these I'm afraid. You're one fish in a very large ocean.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's really simple, most of you seem content to spend your time sorting through the trash that blows into your yard without even peering over the fence to see what's passing bye. Maybe if you got a bit brave and sent the type of letter you keep lecturing men to write to someone that actually interests you, your experience here would be more positive for everyone !
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'lilyorchid' Have you not been reading or listening to the endless repetitive responses we women hav been posting regarding responding? Do so and you may learn to empathize why we respond as such. We try to be courteous to no avail. Do not judge us but why don't you chase down and flog that nasty minority that ruin it for you nice guys. It may help your case. Actually, i have.. better than most.. My former flatmate was also on RHP and she showed me the msg's she used to get. I see how many women state they've received 200msg's etc in 24hours.. From what i saw i find that very hard to believe.. lol! She was a very trim and spunky individual with pic's, even then she didn't get anywhere near that many in 24hours...more like 40 odd if i recall... Out of all of her msg's i think about 10% where rude "Wanna Fck" type, most were polite if a little brief.... My theory i stated above is the one she used and worked very well she thought, weeded out the tossers pretty quick.. Must admit it was very interesting looking from the other side of the fence :) I still stand by my "manners go a long way, if someone obviously puts some effort into a msg, then reply accordingly and those who are rude etc then report n block".. simple :) Good luck, Giddy x
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Welcome to our nightmare. Hope you enjoy what we have had to endure. Sounds like our inbox! Don't worry though. Doesn't get any worse..............or an better! You'll love it though. Just like we do......hello?.....you still there?........... Fuck, all alone again....
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tittee
11 years ago
if a guy cant be bothered to read my profile then I cant be bothered to reply to them, 90% do not match what I am seeking, of the other 10% I do try to answer all, and too all the guests who send flirts to other guests do they really expect a reply, whats it going to do
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' It's really simple, most of you seem content to spend your time sorting through the trash that blows into your yard without even peering over the fence to see what's passing bye. Maybe if you got a bit brave and sent the type of letter you keep lecturing men to write to someone that actually interests you, your experience here would be more positive for everyone ! but the last few people I've met have been due to me making contact first. I don't see anything wrong with making the first move... But then I'm kind of a proactive woman
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'anywhichway007' Welcome to our nightmare. Hope you enjoy what we have had to endure. Sounds like our inbox! Don't worry though. Doesn't get any worse..............or an better! You'll love it though. Just like we do......hello?.....you still there?........... Fuck, all alone again.... I would not call it a nightmare, just frustrating and perplexing. Does the rude approach actually work for these men? I understand that this is an adult site but do they really have to be so forward with their suggestive messages and then so rude when rejected. It is not just men but couples as well, they write like they are doing me a favor and do not take the time to read my profile. Not all are like that but the few that are have made me not want to bother. There have been some very nice people, if it was not for them I think I would have closed the account.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting '50zcool'Maybe if you got a bit brave and sent the type of letter you keep lecturing men to write to someone that actually interests you, your experience here would be more positive for everyone ! Forum on its way.
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RHP User
11 years ago
lonewanderer85 Imo this person has answerd the ops question with out any judgement, I think because a man asked this question some of you gave him a negative responce. If you do not like the ops topic why are here, if the question was asked by a woman on here she would have been treated differently, like some of you said get the lady on. It is not the ops problem you have to deal with dickheads, there sould be a button to click on for : no reply, no show and stalkers, and why do you not use the block button? Why do people have to be a great writer to get a reply? when alot of people do not like the person they meet, he wasn't who he said he was, but he can write a good story. I now have an insight to why people do not reply because somebody took the time to explane it, well done,
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have a full time job. If I replied to every message I got on here I would not have time to go to that job. I do not reply to messages from guys whose profiles do not match up to what I'm looking forbecause if they haven't figured that out for a start I can't be bothered, for example I'm not interested in NSA so if a guys profile is all about NSA and he sends me a msg why would I bother replying.
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RHP User
11 years ago
We always message people back that match what we are looking for (couples & females) but the fact that your profile is a single males profile and not a couples one even though you say your a couple there for we would not respond so perhaps others feel the same - Posted from rhpmobile
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joanne1991
11 years ago
It is near impossible to reply to every message and every wink, honestly this is not a social site it is here for sexual meets if your upset by not getting a reply to your message you may need to look at another site for some polite chat. I do believe in good manners and replies are nice if you want to reply it's a personal choice and depends on the content of the message received. As it's been mentioned old topic and not really worth discussing further
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RHP User
11 years ago
We will always reply and would expect replys in return... We have been guilty of slow replys, but always make the effort. Its rude not to.... However, if we've stated clearly 'No Single Males' and you still message us, we will assume that either you cant read or you have no respect for our boundries. Either way, its extremely unlikely that we will respond. What we find to be very frustrating is when someone contacts US first, often a single female, we respond and never hear from them again!!! Its totally ok to say Thanks but no thanks.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
hey kids ...... here is my view for whatever its worth .... if you love a message then set it free if it comes back to you its yours if not you never really had it in the 1st place. once its sent then delete the sent item so that you dont track it by seeing if its opened or not....... then just love right along ..... treat it like a shop thats not open .... dont pine over the window display! Bumps out
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RHP User
11 years ago
Like everything in life, live with no expectations and let the energy do it work. Nothing wrong to send messages but to expect something in return that's the downfall. Let life happen, what you deserve will come to you in due time.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Lol, this topic will never go away... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
...can I respect people for being stuck up snobs...no matter which strata of our (classless LOL) society they come from.No one is better than anyone else! There are those who are smarter, braver, more talented, harder working, more educated and so on but no one is "better" than anyone else, your "pedigree" is irrelevant in making you who/what you are.I have mixed with many stratas (stratae?) in this world and have found snobs in most levels, they must be pretty insecure if they need to look down on people to build them selves up...rant over!
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oralalot
11 years ago
I don't have a problem with people not replying as this is a clear indication to me that they are not interested. When people do reply, I always acknowledge and thank them for doing so, even if they have indicated that they are not interested. It takes 2 parties to make a party so acceptance of someone else's tastes should be everyone's approach to using this site.
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RHP User
11 years ago
OMG spot on, finally a guy who actually understands what it is like. If there was a button for 100% agree I would have clicked it!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Would you like a shoulder to cry on, honey...? It's pretty simple mate, if you don't turn them on, the girls simply won't be bothered to reply... They get many emails to reply to all Oh, silly me... You just want some attention... Maybe? Of course, if your message starts off, "hey babe, ya wanna ride my hot rod tonight?".... Then................ S'nP 😉
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RHP User
11 years ago
Rudeness to me is getting me to meet them, having what I thought was a great conversation and hitting it off to the point that he gets a freebie head job in his car. I then message him to say 'let's go all the way next time' and find I've been blocked by him! Clearly I scared the guy off with my voracious, man-eating tendencies. ;) Just goes to show however, how immature are some people's responses, whether they are being encouraged or otherwise! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I believe in closure. . I remember, when me n He first signed up, one of the things we made sure to add to our profile was that we would reply. So, even in 2006 we knew that replying was something precious. . Replying, to say no almost always worked out for us, and that includes guys we'd been in a conversation with.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I do support the idea of making sure you match the profile you're making contact with in the first place if you really expect a reply. Common sense. Peachy...
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RHP User
11 years ago
I totally agree with the above (blindman). I just went through 137msgs, i actually read them ALL and looked at their profiles. Replied to a few and unfortunately said no to many... was then pestered to provide a reason and when being honest got called a bitch and shallow.. So.. no more replies from me for the sake of being polite! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'missymarlymoo' I totally agree with the above (blindman). I just went through 137msgs, i actually read them ALL and looked at their profiles. Replied to a few and unfortunately said no to many... was then pestered to provide a reason and when being honest got called a bitch and shallow.. So.. no more replies from me for the sake of being polite! What the hell is wrong with you guys?!?!? Sheeeeesh
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
FUCK if I said YESSSSSSS to every profile that emailed me or yeeeees to all those I've met at Meet and Greets, I'd be totally fucked with one very very sore/tender pussy!!!!! Foxy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' FUCK if I said YESSSSSSS to every profile that emailed me or yeeeees to all those I've met at Meet and Greets, I'd be totally fucked with one very very sore/tender pussy!!!!! Foxy Isn't that why your here ? Lift your game woman.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I do apologise, I have not read through every post, will do later BUT not returning messages is a tad rude. It takes seconds to send a template of "Sorry you are not what I am looking for, good luck etc".. I have returned to Red Hot Pie a few months, back after becoming single again, I actually met my ex partner right here, and made lasting friendships with both females and males. There was a great sense of community back then, the chat rooms were always popular and often if the preferred room was full you would wait to get in. Most of my messages were always replied to, even flirts were acknowledged. Hey, I know the ladies get swamped, I was quite blown away when shown the amount of traffic some popular ladies received, my ex partner and I often had a giggle about different lines of approaches.NOW HERE'S THE THING....it's all about building a rapport, I've have had renewed interest from ladies who rejected me initially, after chatting in the chat rooms.I haven't had a great deal of success as yet this time around, I know why......my initial messages cried out "Drunk and Desperate with baggage" Red Flagged, understand! I EVEN blew a MOST promising contact just recently.....OH, I do hope she might read this post, with a rather recent new member who resides outside of Melbourne, as do I.I felt VERY positive that we would meet, we were smsing via phone network then via Skype. With my RHP past experience, I would have laid money on the fact that " IT WAS ON!" and had the potential of return meets.I was extremely excited at the prospect.We had chatted for hours, we had swapped pics, we had even discussed what might happen at our meet.I was rather inebriated by this stage....I was cock in my hand and testosterone was flowing....I was till capable of presenting myself as suitable, UNTIL I made the most stupid decision of rather than sending pictures , why not take it up a notch and go video....WHAT A BAD MOVE, as the slurred and rather crass words came out my mouth, I felt like bitch slapping myself....WTF!I haven't received ANY replies to my apologies or attempts to excuse myself, I even asked a fellow female member and long term friend to validate me. It still bugs me, BUT I understand, I went on cam in my worst colours and immediately destroyed several hours of positive online RHP dating RED FLAG..I understand!Guys, sites like RHP only work for you, if you put then work in. There are no guarantees, and it a market that favours the female..All males are here for potential sex partners and maybe more if we're lucky. AND we have plenty of competition, there are many, many, more males who are far more desperate and disadvantaged in some way, sending as many flirts and messages as they can, in the hope they might catch the eye of one of the ladies. You have to try and stand out somehow, presentation is important, how you chat, and what about is important......" I Got a big cock and I'll fuck you into next world" may work occasionally, but far from a guarantee...you're not the only who has made the same claim, I suspect she may have received quite a few very similar messages today already, and she can't be bothered to politely reply to another dickhead.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Talk with me on my feed ?
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RHP User
11 years ago
You're not the only one that thinks like this. For me, I treat this site and others like real life, if somebody is good enough to send you a message (spend money on you by the way) then I think it's only polite to reply even if it's a no thanks. Personally, I'd prefer to receive a no reply, that way I know she/they are not interested. If they just ignore your message I am always tempted to send another because lets face it women on these sites get so many messages it's a smorgasbord for them, So being a dumb male I assume that she just didn't have time to reply then forgot about me.. As for the guys who then send back a nasty message - yes we all know that you are god's gift and it's a personal insult that she said no, suck it up sunshine.... besides by being a prick you are definitely putting yourself in the line of the black list.... You never know, perhaps she just met somebody or has a head ache and for now it's a no but in a month it may be different..... One of my best chat friends is a woman who said no, I just replied saying best of luck and I hope things worked out for her with her new man. She was surprised with my reply and 4 years later we still swap messages have met for coffee and have has some amazing conversations. So the lesson is dot burn your bridges!!! I suppose my message to EVERYBODY is don't spoil it for all the others. Women, couples etc often get jaded with being inundated so how about everybody just being nice to one another and to make the RHP experience a positive one......... for all..... be nice when sending messages, polite enough to reply and gracious enough to accept a rejection......... Ciao Markxo£
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RHP User
11 years ago
Fair enough if you just don't write back at all but when your talking to someone and they just never bother to write back and never tell you why is annoying. I always think manners go along way, it's not hard to write sorry I don't think your for me.
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RHP User
11 years ago
However, I always like to reply. In fact, I don't mind striking up a conversation with people if they are so inclined and interesting enough. When I first signed up, I was approached by a couple (mid 40s dude and late 30s chick). I was kind of like, "heyyyy... appreciate the message. Thanks, but no thanks." They seemed to be pretty awesome though and relatively warm in their message, hence my reply. xtothez #returningmessagesforthewin
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting '40DeeD' Rudeness to me is getting me to meet them, having what I thought was a great conversation and hitting it off to the point that he gets a freebie head job in his car. I then message him to say 'let's go all the way next time' and find I've been blocked by him! Clearly I scared the guy off with my voracious, man-eating tendencies. ;) Just goes to show however, how immature are some people's responses, whether they are being encouraged or otherwise! - Posted from rhpmobile It just goes to show, 40DeeD, that guys are weird. I don't get that, and after reading your profile and your posts - at least on this thread - clearly the guy was an idiot or not what he said he was (see: clearly the guy was an idiot). We don't meet people NOT wanting things to work out (usually, I'd assume - is that wrong?) but your profile is certainly one of the clearest I've read. I wouldn't message you off the bat, only because I don't match what you're looking for. If the courteous (and always hoped for) reply comes even as a template "No thanks", I'm happy with that. Taking the whole 10-15 seconds to reply with a template is not onerous, regardless of how many messages you receive, I think. I think if I were inundated with messages, templates would be a good way to go. "No thanks, I'll be reporting you for an abusive message" or "Thanks but no thanks, you don't match what I said I'm looking for" or even "Thanks but from your profile you simply don't appeal to me". They're tough but fair and as a guy, I'd rather have you rip off the Band-Aid. I *am* curious, though, as to what people look at first. If you receive a flirt or a message, do you look at the flirt or message first (and thus signal it's been read) and THEN look at the profile, or do you look at the profile first and THEN decide if you'll read the flirt or message? Inquiring minds would like to know.
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RHP User
11 years ago
that results in abuse. Just saying "no thanks" can lead to things like "well, you are an ugly bitch anyway" Happens on other adult sites as well. It makes you wonder how that person would have treated you if you agreed to meet.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Blame those who have come before you. Seriously - I'd love to see a pinned post with women adding what they had received, when they have sent back a thanks, no thanks reply. I looked through mine, but realised I had blocked those who were abusive in my reply to my polite, no thanks message. The notable were calling me an ugly, stuck up slag. Another who said he would choke me with his cock, if he got his hands on me. And another who put a curse on me. No response, is often the safest response
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boots_69
11 years ago
I look at RHP like it is an online pub, you send a message = saying hi in the pub 3/5 will turn their nose up and look at their mates and think .... 1/5 will initially ignore you and think about it the last 1/5 will actually talk with you and its up to you to keep their interest. I think that there is a poor culture today of being abusive - not the way I was brought up and RHP has a coupe of little tricks to help you keep tab. Best one I use is the notes section on profiles - where messages disappear after you have deleted them or 6 months your notes don't. Blokes do the rest of us a favour if a lady says no reply nicely with "No problem, hope you find what your after" Boots
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