Oedipus & Electra

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I remember a gentleman I played with for a while who insisted I called him daddy throughout ALL of our communications...not just in the bedroom but at all times (if I didnt use daddy I was to use his name - nothing else)...I was required to dress the part and everything...did it do anything for me? NO WAY...but him....boy did he get off.... Kisses Focus

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Oedipus & Electra complex are part of normal childhood development it disappears well before puberty in most cases. Dont take my word for it you can look it up it is pretty easy to find. My question is do we think some people who are attracted to Old partners are playing out consciously or subconsciously this complex. It is interesting that already the post concentrate on the Young Girl/Older Guy when it seems to me that the Young Guy/Older Woman mix is much more common. I am concentrating on this from the perspective, motives and desires of the younger person in this mix. Not the moral or other implications of the older person. LC

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I think it could, in part, be this yes. For myself, it was not and has never been an issue. I cringe at the thought of someone wanting me to call him "Daddy" Many younger people I know call me Mum (younger can be in thier 30's for me) and this is a form of endearment and respect for them. It does not mean that they necessarily have an Oedipus complex as they are normally people that I would never play with anyway. I have a younger man that I play with and being a mother figure is definatley NOT what it is about.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Had an encounter with a 40 year old lady who was interested in younger guys and i should say everyhting went well up until she mentioned that she has kids who are older than me, i got turned off apologised and left. I usually go for older ladies because to me they are more interesting, have a lot more experience, usually orgasm more than once and usually arent looking for an emotional connection. However we once did a survey in my psych class and more than half said they did have strong sexual feelings for their parents. However most of freuds theories are considered rubbish by most psychiatrists and shrinks. Freud later believed that the Oedipus complex in females is initially a homosexual crush on the mother

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I prefer younger women......but considering I'm 51 I don't think there is anything sinister in that! - I have to say I could never envisage a younger woman calling me "daddy" and feeling comfortable with it though.....even though I've never had kids of my own. Mr O PS.....although I prefer younger women, I like sexy women of ALL ages! :)

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I have played recently with a younger man who is 13 yrs my junior and in no way was this an oedipus/electra complex for either involved....was more sub and master but that is a whole other subject....however I have noticed with some people in my life that their life partner of choice has been known to resemble (physically and/or personality traits) one or another of the parents...this has always made me wonder what Freud would say....and makes me think that MAYBE subconsciously this person is choosing to emulate a relationship that they have always felt safe and comfortable in...just MY thoughts on the topic Kisses Focus

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  i have however known girls who had/still have sever daddy issues and will seek out an older male who treats them a certain way and not the good way either, whilst it is now becoming widley accept as normal i dont think it is normal and i believe that people who seek out parteners who treat them like thier parents treated them would mean that somehting happened in theier childhood for them to feel like they need/want that in thier life. i have never had any thoughts about either one of my parents of friends parents , to me they will always be mum and dad and my partners will hopefully be nothing like them. they may have a few thigns in common for example liking cars/computers or whatever but all in all i think if it is becoming normal in our society then we really should re examine ourselves as it is not normal in my book. well thats my thoughts

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  is marry a girl 60 years i think his junior, i wonder wat sort of complex he has

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  interesting question LC can i ask one in return before i elaborate? where do you draw the line though? surely it would come down to an individual thing. i think a gross categorization is too broad, but that said i cant speak for everyone, as everyone IS different. personally. yes, i prefer older women. but not just to be a lover or a partner. for general conversation as well, but not necessarily that much older. and not my mum's age that's for sure. thats actually a big turn off "wow she could be my mum" kind of thing ive been single for a while now. and in that time i've found that a lot of girls i talk to just annoy the shit out of me. i think it's purely a maturity thing. how old - for lack of a better word - does the woman have to be? 5 or 30 years? i dunno. i might be way off the mark here. but, at what stage does it become an Oedipus complex. i think it's a valid question though, maternal feelings, and having mum take care of you all your life and whatnot. i think it would generally be with people who have become fully independent, and are missing that maternal connection with an older woman, and it re-manifests itself in a sexual form.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I had sex with a seventy year old, didnt once think of my nana, fantastic blow job though.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Youngblack Freud was considered to have some dubious teachings but his naming of these complexes is still used today so on this issue there is validity. Focusliason, you are correct that age play in a master/slave domme/sub situation is quite different in general terms but it does not rule out the fact that having a person in a position of control over them does not hark back to the parental control type situation. Most people would have had a parent making rules for them, setting timetable, having punishments, say what you can and can't wear...sound familiar ? I do agree that it is about find a situation in which they feel safe and comfortable...you have to ask your self what is it about submission that they like so much and where was this liking born. Littlered There is a huge differance between a Loving relationship and and Abusive one at times it is hard to understand how certain things work for people...the fifferance between a very hard spanking and a beating. I agree that some people seek out abusive relationships and on occasions this mirrors exposure to abusive relationships seen as a child. I would much prefer to concentarte on the loving relationships. LC

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Jono you like older women...but someone old enough to be your mum is a big turnoff you are 20 so that will mean any one older than 40 is a turnoff ? Have you asked your self why is it so? Why would yu not like to have sex with a woman who was 50 ? She will certainly have a maturity aspect you like...I find it interesting that you can catagorise a group of women old enough to be you mum and you are not willing to go there. Perhaps it scares you and you identify these women as your mother and there comes the Oedipus complex to a degree. I am not being critical here just making a suggestion. Actually Jono I find your response facinating as you seem to be subconsciously equating women of a certain age with your mother. To be it show to some degree the complex has an application. In your case perhaps a negative application due to the exclusion factor... Trisexual you are just too funny :) a gummie job PMSL. Sweetiepie I understand where you come from I am interested in understanding in part how the human mind drives certain sexual desires. What is learned behaviour and what is driven by the Id. The sad thing is that abuse can have a crippling affect on all behaviour and that includes sexual. Abuse is never loving and I again want to focus on loving behaviour.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  This reminds me of that Kay Parker movie - Taboo. Th

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  So... I have three "kids" now adults.... and a lot of their friends, male and female, flirt and call me "Daddy".... should I raise my expectations? :pHugsStalky

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  So - ignoring all the rudeness and personal attacks going on - two questions - Firstly, what do people consider an unreasonable age difference between partners? Secondly - why, exactly, should age have anything to do with enjoying sex? I may have lived more (or less) years than someone, but if there is a mutual attraction, why do numbers really mean anything?

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I love this forum LC. I love anything that delves into the deeper workings of our minds... I am also a student of psychology..and love to try and figure out why we do what we do. Although I have never (as far as i know) had thoughts of being with my father...i have had this funny fantasy/complex or whatever you call it...where im with an older guy. I have slept with older guys...in fact I actually am turned on by them..and my hubby and i have this whole joke around "my age bracket". I find it interesting...because as chasing midnight says...these are deep seeded psychological topics...and ones many have studied over the years and never really been able to explain...but..yes..it is interesting! Do I think my "age bracket" obsession stems from this?...not sure...but...as with psychology...its interesting to think about and try and figure out. Sally

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  To generally clarify some of the points made here - the oedipal syndrome occurs when a child of around 4-6 does not have good" parents who help them transition into a more independent and autonomous person. i.e. they are over parented and not given enough independence or alternatively neglected. This can SOMETIMES cause them to seek approval from mother or father figures. Not necessarily just want sex." It is a well documented condition and yes I agree this is why many people seek approval from an older person - but not necessarily why all go for it - different strokes for different folks. Flirty

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Curvie you delicious man, I remember asking a question about how you know when you've crossed the fine line between pleasure and pain and there was hardly a reply. I think your discussion is a little too academic for a sex site, after all people are here to fuck, not to critique Freud's Oedipus and Electra complex. It is a shame that some people have to attack you for being an intelligent human being and wanting to have a dialogue about an interesting theory. Moving away from Freud, what complex do those people who have chosen to misunderstand the content of your musings have I wonder? Wildly supportive of LC

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