F49
Once upon a time....
September 20 2011
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
get 1st degree burns on her ass if she left the lights on during sex, and her hairdresser frequently accused her of having shaved an angora rabbit so she could make a matching wig and merkin.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'littlewings' get 1st degree burns on her ass if she left the lights on during sex, and her hairdresser frequently accused her of having shaved an angora rabbit so she could make a matching wig and merkin. little did the hairdresser know that in the bright lights of the salon, the glow did reflect upon the princess' fair skin and create a reflection so that when the princess was naked and all aglow it did make her almost invisible to the naked eye. Almost, apart from her one little imperfection. Thus, the princess used the lights of the salon to mask her presence and, unseen, with cheeks clenched tight, was able sneak into the storeroom and steal the bleach she would need to take care of that little imperfection once and for all...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'HotSexyChilli' Quoting 'curiousnewgirl78'little did the hairdresser know that in the bright lights of the salon, the glow did reflect upon the princess' fair skin and create a reflection so that when the princess was naked and all aglow it did make her almost invisible to the naked eye. Almost, apart from her one little imperfection. Thus, the princess used the lights of the salon to mask her presence and, unseen, with cheeks clenched tight, was able sneak into the storeroom and steal the bleach she would need to take care of that little imperfection once and for all... But little did the princess know that she had accidentally stolen a bottle of 2-Hour-Miracle-Accelerated-Hair-Growth... Stealthily hiding that bottle of hair growth between clenched cheeks she raced for the door and off back to her ivory tower. Finally she had the answer to that hairy upper lip. No more shaving stubble when she kissed her handsome prince...The frogs she had been kissing in a vain attempt to find said prince and her one true love were beginning to complain about whisker burn.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' Quoting 'HotSexyChilli' But little did the princess know that she had accidentally stolen a bottle of 2-Hour-Miracle-Accelerated-Hair-Growth... Stealthily hiding that bottle of hair growth between clenched cheeks she raced for the door and off back to her ivory tower. Finally she had the answer to that hairy upper lip. No more shaving stubble when she kissed her handsome prince...The frogs she had been kissing in a vain attempt to find said prince and her one true love were beginning to complain about whisker burn. With her bottle of 2hr-Miracle-accelerated-Hair-Growth in hand, a stubbly upper lip was now a thing of the past.... She now owned the most magnificent lucious, and silky moustache ever to be seen. It flowed out from her lip so proudly that she decided to part it down the centre and braid it...... She shall here-on be called.... Rapunzastash
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RHP User
14 years ago
After DGT Rapunzatash was out in the city centre one day and was approached by a modeling scout. Australia's Next ToP Nude Model ratings took a bit the previous season, so they thought a token trannie in new season could help get the ratings up. They offered her a winning into the top 20. Rapunzatash wanted to take the trannie look q little further for the show, so she got the bottle of miracle and rubbed a load of it on her VJJ so it would disguised it and leave the audience guessing. She then went to bed. Little did she realize that the amount she put meant when she sweated all night because she'd left the electric blanket on, plus with all the tossing and turning, the cream had spread to...0 Rapunzatash thought
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RHP User
14 years ago
The valiant Rapunzastash fought her way through the massive hairball, gasping for air until she reached the sliding doors leading to her balcony and threw them open. Her silken hair exploded through the doors behind her and safely cascaded down from the 5th floor into the park below. She forced the hair back from her face and and torso, exposing her perfect breasts as she screamed into the heavens above. | Leisuresuit Larry was walking his Schnauzer in the park below and in shock called 000. "Come quickly" he yelled into his phone "there is a Wookie with great tits standing on the 5th floor balcony at the Hyatt".
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RHP User
14 years ago
The operator at 000 scolded Leisuresuit Larry for making a prank call and ended the call..It was now up to Larry alone to save Rapunzastash. He knew the only way in was up, and the only way up was the cascading, glossy, luscious, wavy hair. He carefully tied the Schnauzer to a railing, and took off his nice white jacket and his shoes and socks. He'd need his toes for better grip. He called up to Rapunzastash, "Hold on tight! I'm coming up to help you!".
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RHP User
14 years ago
I *fucking love* you guys...I honestly can't remember the last time I laughed that hard! I laughed until I cried when I got home last night!(intermission end, resume normal programming)
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RHP User
14 years ago
by the time larry got to the balcony, rapunzastash's hair had fallen over her eyes, so he knew he could have a good long stare at her titties without her saying, "ahem...i'm up here mister." so of course, thats exactly what he did. after blunting several pairs of scissors and clogging every razor they could find, larry said, "its going to take a miracle to remove all this hair...or perhaps...magic." "why didnt i think of that," said rapunzastash, "im good friends with the lascivious wizard of the east, heres my phone, will you dial for me?"...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'littlewings' by the time larry got to the balcony, rapunzastash's hair had fallen over her eyes, so he knew he could have a good long stare at her titties without her saying, "ahem...i'm up here mister." so of course, thats exactly what he did. after blunting several pairs of scissors and clogging every razor they could find, larry said, "its going to take a miracle to remove all this hair...or perhaps...magic." "why didnt i think of that," said rapunzastash, "im good friends with the lascivious wizard of the east, heres my phone, will you dial for me?"... as he took her phone from her hairy palm, he noticed she had her slide show open......OMFG the things this woman took pics of on her phone !!!!!! I've got to get me a girl like this.....sending me filthy pics all day long while I'm walking my Schnauzer and looking fabbo in my leisure suit. He dials the lascivious Wizard and makes the hirsute distress call...."Yes sir, all over her body....uh-huh..terribly hairy! " The wizard promises to come up with a spell to be rid of the pesky lengths of hair forthwith. All of a sudden Rapunzastash starts shaking uncontrollably.....omg omg omg omggggggggggggggggggg she quivers. . Leisure suit Larry is thinking.....fark me she's multi orgasmic too...the word 'keeper' pops into his head, as Rapunzastash lets rip an almighty scream from the sidelines. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO where's my fkn eyebrows"
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RHP User
14 years ago
A sudden clap of uproarious thunder parted the skies...in the darkness of the full moon the shadow of wings danced across the northern skies. The wizard appeared although masqued in the the fog from the boiling Yarra river (literary license) as he stood looking in silence. Under his breath he whispered.... "wolves, not dogs"....
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RHP User
14 years ago
At that point he pulled out his browning and made certain the clip was full and took aim blowing each and every one of the winged fuckers from the sky. As he started to collected the corpses he heard the faint cracking of twig’s in the undergrowth and then noticed in the forest near by a midget hiding behind the trees with a long beard and called to him Jesus you fucking freak get a fire started lets feast
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RHP User
14 years ago
All of a sudden Methuselah the Schnauzer began a piteous whimpering and began writhing in the tangled mass of the gossamer, wavy locks attached to Repunzastash. Then appeared a ginormous sandpaper covered tongue and with a hideous, deep throated growl (not to mention a few nifty contortions, Methuselah metamorphed into a large grey wolf. It was tricky keeping his balance and grip without thumbs but some how he managed...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Simultaeneous posting
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RHP User
14 years ago
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee'All of a sudden Methuselah the Schnauzer began a piteous whimpering and began writhing in the tangled mass of the gossamer, wavy locks attached to Repunzastash. Then appeared a ginormous sandpaper covered tongue and with a hideous, deep throated growl (not to mention a few nifty contortions, Methuselah metamorphed into a large grey wolf. It was tricky keeping his balance and grip without thumbs but some how he managed... Huffed and he puffed but he still couldn't blow in her..... oh shit, wrong line! I mean he still couldn't blow her house in , yeah thats it
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RHP User
14 years ago
DGT! The god damn guy has already blown. Game over!
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RHP User
14 years ago
No Fiona ya dag leisuresuit Larry might have blown, but the grey wolf hadn't
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'HotSexyChilli' Quoting 'D_G_T' Quoting 'fionabee' But what neither Repunzastash or Methusalah had realised was her glistening snail trails were not the only calling card of the unusual couple, woman and wolf. Her copious silken locks were also trailing out behind them like eternal rivers dancing towards the sea... Their trail certainly didn't go unnoticed , from the skies above they were spotted by none other than Rapunzastash's Hairy Godmother She swooped down and appeared before them, stopping the wolf in his tracks. "I'll take it from here Methuselah" she said sweetly and with a tinkle of her magic Hitachi wand *Bzzz Bzzz* Rapunzastash found herself standing outside a Magnificently carved doorway, she reached out her hand to run her fingers over the intricately fashioned initials of whoever must live there......P.P.P.E From beside her the sweet voice of her Hairy Godmother reached her ears, "You must insert this before entering" Rapunzastash turned to look at the object in the Hairy Godmothers hands.... "You gotta be f'n kidding me?" that's a, a, a........pumpkin!!!!!!! . "Trust me" said the sweet voice, it will fit, and when you pass through this doorway you'll thank me eternally" A few moments and a lot of lube later, Rapunzastash was ready to enter. *3 knocks* The door opens and standing there is the most delicious looking man Rapunzah had ever laid eyes on. Hairy Godmother does a quick introduction before disappearing for the night....... "Rapunzastash.......meet Peter Peter"
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RHP User
14 years ago
a grand royal wedding was soon to follow for the princess had found her true love. larry was shattered, methusalah found solace on larrys leg, and the jack-o-lantern, while disappointed still wears a big cheesey grin to this very day, because although P.P.P.E married the princess, jack-o-lantern knows that he got in there first.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Now we all thought that Repunzastash and P.P.P.E. had settled down to live happily ever after and in most faerie stories that would be the end, however, after several months of wedded bliss, Repunzastash found in the middle of winter that she had run out of pumpkins. Thats right folk, the cellar was devoid of all pumpkins and there would be no more until late summer...Everyone knows that pumpkins grow best during the spring and summer and the imported variety just were not gonna make the grade. "Oh no, Husband of mine," she excalimed upon seeing the empty cavernous space in the cellar previously filed with pumpkins, "what ever are we gonna do for entertainment now?" For as much as she loved her husband dearly, without the pumpkins inserted Peter Peter was really just an average fuck and she feared getting bored in the bedroom. I mean variety is the spice of life after all. P.P.P.E was a naughty, naughty boy and had been secretly perusing porn sites anyway.....
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' P.P.P.E was a naughty, naughty boy and had been secretly perusing porn sites anyway..... Thats where he got the idea for the eggs, not just any eggs though.........golden eggs, and they were HUGE He remembered that a mate of a mate has a sister who worked for this big ass Guy that had a goose. Only trouble is, the road up to this guy's house was a bit tricky, and it would be a long dry spell without Rapunzah while he was gone. So off Peter Peter went (pocket Pussy stashed for his trip) in search of the mate of a mate's sister's boss.......
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RHP User
14 years ago
Once again, feel the loveYou guys rock :) and have made a pretty average weekend much, much funnier than it had any right to be :P*intermission end*
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RHP User
14 years ago
She could here the words, "Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater..." she awoke, opened her eyes and could here someone's tv on with a kid's program. She sat up in bed, wondering WTF?! As it turned out, having spend over 12 hours in bed fast asleep roasting herself in TOO MUCH 2hr-Miracle-accelerated-Hair-Growth cream, it had given her shroom like acidelic dreams that still felt half real and half fairy tale... HAIRY OH nearly forgot, lets take a look at that VJJ, gonna be on reality TV yippppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Repunzastash grabbed the tv remote and started idly channel surfing, not really paying attention at all. Suddenly moans and groans were coming from the tv. "OH MY GOD" she thought, she looked at the tv screen, mesmerised by what she saw. There on the large flat screen was P.P.'s collection of home made prono's, staring none other than Repunzastash herself. "That dirty Fucker" she exclaimed rather loudly for she had no recollection of him ever filming her at all.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Lets leave Repunzastash contemplating divulging Peter Peter's deep and dark secrets and see what our gallant pumpkin eater is up to. He has traveled day and night trying to locate the secret den of intiquity, the head quarters of the big arse guy that the mate of a mate's sister had told him about. Remembering that Peter Peter had no trusted wolf (in sheeps clothing) to carry him over land and vale while he slept luxuriating in his hairy back (wishing no doubt that it was wax strips she had swiped on that fateful day), no trusted steed to guide his very step, oh no, Peter peter had to make his own way knowing as he did that every step could seal his fate as the mans' hideout that he sought was reputed to be the head of the largest gang of perverts that had ever made a porno. Stumbling on in sheer exhaustion in the half light of a grey and misty dawn, he found his way blocked by a gigantic tree. It was so wide that Peter peter could not see his way clear to going around it in his exhausted state. He rested his head...for just a moment against the tree and slowly slid to the ground as he lost his battle with weariness. There he curled up around the tree (in a similar fashion as his wolf nemesis would only his nose could not quite reach his arse) and slept for thirty hours.
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