F109
Picking up...
October 18 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hey Miss B We are all so different and all have the things/looks/behaviour we like and don't like, but also situation, opportunity, the company you’re in, a sense of connection, mood etc. It all impacts on if you do or don't. Cheers Rob
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am a woman - however I only ever get picked up when I am looking terrible ! Men hit on me 100% more if I am dressed down , hair up , no make up ! When I am done up and dressed up , men avoid me ! It's so weird to me as when I am dressed up , I am usually looking to pick up ! Men !!?? :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'DeliciousCurves' I am a woman - however I only ever get picked up when I am looking terrible ! Men hit on me 100% more if I am dressed down , hair up , no make up ! When I am done up and dressed up , men avoid me ! It's so weird to me as when I am dressed up , I am usually looking to pick up ! Men !!?? :) - Posted from rhpmobile In reply to Del, they probably feel more intimidate or that you're out of their league when you are all dressed up, also can depend on the environment, some guys are happy to approach women at a cafe as opposed to a club. As far as myself goes, it is based initially on looks and what my 'type' is. From their though if I'm talking to a girl and the conversation puts me off I will move on. Generally i try and include her friends in the conversation as well. As far as the achievable question is I think it comes down to confidence. There's been nights were I've approached who i perceive as the most attractive person in the club and others were I'm just not feeling 'in the groove' so I may approach another girl.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'DeliciousCurves' I am a woman - however I only ever get picked up when I am looking terrible ! Men hit on me 100% more if I am dressed down , hair up , no make up ! When I am done up and dressed up , men avoid me ! It's so weird to me as when I am dressed up , I am usually looking to pick up ! Men !!?? :) - Posted from rhpmobile I Can't tell for sure but perhaps you are toooo gorgeous when dressed up, and men are intimidated. I suggest, based on your post, that if you are looking to pick up, dress down (Guaranteed 100% pick up, no brainer)
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have helped a few male friends pick up. Here are a couple of tips I tell them; 1) determine a handful of women you're attracted to. 2) if the women are 'scanning' the room.... I.e their head is on a subtle pivot, they're generally looking. 3) look for an indicator of interest, usually a subtle glance more than once, brush past, a quick coy smile etc. 4) Most likely you've got a chance. If you can catch her eye from across the room for 2-3 seconds (no more.... cause it then gets creepy) then you've got a pretty likely chance. Guys, I've found, will tend to go for someone showing some level of interest, so perhaps, be less subtle/shy and give them a little to indicated that they're less likely to be rejected. I.e 7's/8's might be less of a challange than a hard 10. Hopefully this was not totally off track for you Missabliss! Isa X - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'd like to know too as I never get picked up and I'd like to from time to time. Spill guys :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Unfortunately I'm one of those guys that is hopeless at 'picking up' hahaha. But I actually think that the initial question is a hard one to answer, becauseeach different person would have their own set of reasons for approaching someone... for me, if I was the type to approach someone randomly, I think the way a woman holds herself and presents herself is definitely something that would catch my eye.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have never gone up and spoken to anyone because of 'one thing' I see in them. There is the physical side but its always more, its catching each others eyes, and that hold... even for a second maybe followed me a cheeky little smile... that's when you know.
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RHP User
11 years ago
And I apologise for giving a female view but happy to see what males think.. "What makes you decide to approach one person over another? Is it looks? I'm noticing that women who are regularly approached while out aren't always those with model looks (not ugly either). Or do they look achievable?" So are you saying a guy even though attracted to one girl will bypass her to get a shoe in with another? Gees that's harsh lol NUP never had that experience out with my GFs.Have had guys try to chat up our group with specific eyes on one person and its totally obvious. I've just noticed among friends that some never ever get approached but others regularly do... I can't seem to see a pattern? What gives? I think some women give off a "don't fuck with me dont come near me" vibe others not so for what ever reasons that's their choice.. I have the former and I have a GF that has patted me on my arm in a gesture of "play nice" when we've been out.. Clever guys pick up on that! A guy in our social group, not the most attractive etc but had sexual charisma,WHY ? because he had the balls, nouse whatever you want to call it,to step up out on a limb and put it out there in a sexual manner to a girl and basically in a conversation would suggest if she got on her knees ( note this is one example not his standard foreplay convo) ....now, that wouldn't always work for him, but in cases it would. So it's a lucky draw OP
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RHP User
11 years ago
Agree with delicious in the dressing down. . I've twice been caught out unawares. Have been approached and hit up. . Once Whilst all hot and sweaty mid way thru my exercise routine pounding the pavement in our area and another time whilst grocery shopping. Both times my husband found it highly amusing .With the exercise time he's like. ."What. .. Looking like that? "
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
LoL! I miss the queues ALOT! I've been out with my daughter and when we've got back to the vehicle she's says "Mum, that man was trying it on on you! He WAS flirting with you!!"... I just say "Nah he was just being nice". So guys can someone tell me the difference from "picking up" and "being nice"??? I normally pick up on various body language not so much verbal. Well sometimes verbal if they say a compliment. Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
Have self pride and confidence..sometimes I just go shy, maybe because if a good looking sexy man who acts natural and himself around me I think.. "What's wrong?" To be honest it does intimate me.. So guys, we too get intimidated. Foxy
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RHP User
11 years ago
To me...... I am drawn to her look, looks and movement..... how she moves through her world. I don't look for signs, I just approach if I want to meet her - Posted from rhpmobile
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MissBishere
11 years ago
just by paying attention a little more I have noticed that certain ways of dressing get more attention and no it's not a less is more thing. When I am totally in Bogan mode with jeans, singlet and flanny on, my hair up and just a tinted moisturiser on my face, I definitely get more attention. And I have two particular dresses that make men stare but rarely approach unless it's an rhp event of course hahahaha
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6exxy
11 years ago
Non verbal looks of interest in each other. Careful manuverimg to be at the right place at the right time. We're each has the opportunity to strike with the law of attraction ❤️
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6exxy
11 years ago
Where
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm just a people person!!! It helps though if you have tits :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Most of the time guys approach women who look approachable. As been said someone ignoring there group, looking around, at the bar by themselves, any girl by herself, my favourite the girl who hands around for a few minutes after her friends have left. Lots of women when dress up go into bitch mode... it becomes a game. If you can tame the women & she calms down you have a change. Most guys just can't be bothered or not interested in approaching random women just to get shot down. It's the guys who don't give a shit what women say that do well. It's funny approach that same woman in the workplace, at the park when & she's perfectly friendly. Offer a you look nice and you bypass the night time games and have a serious conversation.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I (Mr Himstr8) haven't had long enough periods of singledom to perfect the art of pick up, which is the case for most men I think. But, as we go to swinger parties and it is still incumbent on the men generally to make the blunter indications of interest I do wonder about these questions, how overtly to signal my interest in the female half of a couple and how to gauge her interest in me... My interest is dependent on her interest in me amongst other things, so there is perhaps a mexican standoff unless someone takes a small punt of being (provisionally) interested. Although in this case I am also trying to take into account how I imagine HerBi would feel about the man, and as she's bi, how she'd feel about the woman...so quite a few possible distractions and considerations. As a rule now we just try to strike up a brief conversation with as many couples (or single women) on a non-discriminatory basis as possible as we find attractiveness is so much dependent on how people think and behave and as I said earlier, mutuality of attraction. Re the original question, guys are not mind-readers, not even especially good at body language unless they study it, so unless a woman gives some indication of having noticed him and in a friendly way, he is unlikely to approach both out of concern for respecting her wishes and avoiding wasting his limited supply of optimism. There are (rightly) many messages of the need for respect of women's feelings and consent and respectful men will not presume a woman is attracted unless she signals that. Also a respectful man will commence a conversation assuming no more than a friendly non-sexual connection and gently introduce topics or body language that give each other opportunities to hint at interest in sex generally and in the other party by implication if not directly. So, on the question of why dressing up might reduce approachability, perhaps the issue is that a man would feel more comfortable and believable about having a friendly non-sexual initial conversation with a woman who doesn't appear explicitly out to score or win a beauty pageant. Also, is it possible that by dressing up, a woman sets high expectations for her evening and might become perceptibly disappointed early in the night, which might alter her non verbal cues? Is it possible that men are deeper than we think and might value seeing a woman in her natural element, feeling comfortable and in control walking with powerful legs and a determined gaze, instead of milling uncomfortably with rivals? Is it possible that female conceptions of beauty modifications are too influenced by gay couturiers and other women and men just try to be polite? Is it possible that men are overwhelmed with images of (unattainable) female sexual attractiveness all the time and want a woman to meet them as an equal? All interesting questions for which I don't answers....
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RHP User
9 years ago
What Mischievouslad said. If you want to get picked up then let it happen, stupid mind games and an array of hoops to jump through are a big turn off. I swear some women go out for the pleasure of cutting you down.
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RHP User
9 years ago
....possible issue is these days there is often a big hullabaloo about behaviour. A lot of my mates says they are put off even approaching for fear of been labelled a sleezy predator if they approach the wrong girl. Often you see someone you are attracted to and even if you get a signal you don't act incase you read it wrong. I guess its a confidence thing as well. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Those women usually have "don't fuck with me" written all over their face.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Absolutely agree with Jenni Taylor's comments. Suttle body language tips are a dead give away. Holding a glance and a cheeky smile that says come hither are a dead give away for a women, flicking her hair back whilst in conversation is also another good indercator she is Intrested in you. I also believe that people will give off an ora that indicates there looking or not. But in saying that not all men are in tune with these signs. If I'm stimulated and Intrested in approaching a lady I try to make it very relaxing for them. General conversation when going to buy a drink at the bar is one approach. I'd never approach her if she was within a group of friend's. Some men can be intimerdated if a women is dressed up to the nines. Nothing to do with how she looks, It's more there own insecurities of feeling she is out of his league... Hmmm good topic.lol 😉 Fortune favors the brave but look for the signs before jumping the gun, Sitting back pondering what if will get you nowhere. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Picking up? What is that? Is that like, when you meet a stranger, you have some sort of a conversation, and then she actually gives you her phone number or equivalent? The strange things other* people get up to...
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'timefortea' ....possible issue is these days there is often a big hullabaloo about behaviour. A lot of my mates says they are put off even approaching for fear of been labelled a sleezy predator if they approach the wrong girl. Often you see someone you are attracted to and even if you get a signal you don't act incase you read it wrong. I guess its a confidence thing as well. - Posted from rhpmobile This is exactly what goes through my head. So much to the point that I don't even bother talking to females I don't know because I immediately think "oh they are just gonna assume i want a shag and will be disgusted" Another problem I have is I don't do subtle, just confuses the shit out of me. I have often had mates (male and female) tell me that a woman was keen or I totally could have picked up, but I don't see it and I just don't have any clue how to do it. I have other mates who can just walk up to any woman and within a short time have their number and even go home with them, it amazes me how they do it... and yes i get jealous when they do. I guess confidence is a big thing, and this is just something I don't have confidence in. Having said that though, I do like to "window shop" and normally the women I like aren't the hottest model types. I love seeing a woman having fun, smiling and laughing, and I also like curves too... Thats the type I would try to pick up if I were capable of it. ceepee
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RHP User
9 years ago
At first it's looks of course, I much prefer a dressed down girl next door look to a tarted up princess. Then it's kind of how they are interacting with their environment. If they are loud and boisterous in a kind of look at me way I'll steer clear. Generally if I get some return glances and smiles I'll try and sum up the courage to go and say hello.....then I feel like Im out of my depth. Not good at small talk. - Posted from rhpmobile
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