F62
Pining for past lovers
October 14 2017
Comments
-
MsJonesy
8 years ago
A beautiful soul I met on a different site, about 4 years ago. We had a wonderful connection, talked or texted every day, saw each other when we could. He was going through the early stages of a torrid separation when we first met. He was incredibly open about his feelings and where he was at emotionally but he was also vulnerable and fragile. His messages were full of emotion, hopes for a future with me, despair at the shit his ex wife was putting him (and therefore the children through). In other words it escalated from fwb to something alot more. Six months in he expressed a need to take a break so that he could get through the selling of the family home, splitting of assets, getting the kids settled into a new home etc etc. I had no problems at all with that, and he would send me an email once a week letting me know how he was going. We got back together 2 months later, he was - in his words - ready to be with me, to take us to the next level, to a relationship. Six weeks later he disappeared altogether. No response to texts, calls, emails - I sent one of each - and then I disappeared into a state of loss and helplessness. He eventually sent an email to say, to quote "I just can't. I am so sorry. I don't even have to right to ask for your forgiveness, because I turned us into something far beyond what you were expecting and have failed to live up to your trust." I sometimes still wonder what happened, and what he is up to. Has it affected me, shit yes. The guard is up, the willingness to even initiate conversations remotely connected to friendship/relationship is pretty much non existent. But I have healed, I know my strength is there, I know I am ok.
-
RHP User
8 years ago
If you understand, I am over missing the particular individual, although I do "pine" for having had such someone take the girlfriend/relationship role in my life. It was only 6 months, much less than the duration of friendships I have since made in this scene, but it was a different level, full mutual emotional involvement, publicly/openly declared, mutual interaction with friends and family etc. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
8 years ago
No way? God, that would have been devastating. Mine was/is coming out of a marriage too. I just think it's a timing thing, they're not ready. Either that or back with the wife/partner. Sad to read your words though, can only imagine how that left you feeling xx
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Yes I know what you mean, being able to let yourself love openly, it's on a much deeper level and harder to pull out of. Glad to hear you're doing well. I think I'm kind of pining for someone to fill that spot. It'll happen when it happens. I remain hopeful. To add to my reply to MsJonesy, it is hard to trust again. At what point is it okay to flip the switch to turn love on. It seems when they appear to be into us, then it should be okay. Sometimes there's no rhyme or reason
-
EarthQueen
8 years ago
Don't pine for the person as such but the connection.That feeling of being completely emotionally comfortable with someone and just knowing what each other likes so its almost effortless. That sexual connection was so strong I have almost resigned myself to it maybe being a once in a lifetime thing. Hope I'm wrong.
-
RHP User
8 years ago
I had an awesome night with a woman at infusions a few weeks ago on a Saturday night. Nearly was not let in as my bag went missing on flight into perth. Lucky for me I did as she was amazing. Had a wild time with her. We were both left so shattered that I did not even think to get her number to catch up again all I got was her name. Thoughts go through my head on what we could have done with a few more nights like that. Very hot...but disappointed in myself for not getting her number. Hopefully will meet her again one day. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
8 years ago
I don't believe it's once in a lifetime, just incredibly hard to find that kind of connection. Age is a factor for me, the fact that many are already taken, that along with my preference for younger, might have me die a lonely old woman lol but it is what it is
-
Sawadee
8 years ago
Now a couple of months .. I know she likes me but I also know her shyness holds her back and she try's too hard not to show her emotions.. Too much for me so I told her I can't cope with her swing in moods... Think I only seen her briefly , twice in 2 months... As much as I would like to be with her..
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Yes, there's one in particular ... He was the first to really teach me what my body is capable of. We got on well... Probably the first I also let in a little more like a friend. I wonder how he is and if life is treating him well.
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Last year when I knew my marriage was over, a woman I knew that lived a few hours away sent me a message from out of the blue. We started talking and I felt so comfortable talking with her that I completely opened up to her. Turned out her relationship was also in a bad way and we both felt this amazing instant connection. We fell hard for each other and even went on a cruise together. 3 months into it her partner wanted to end things with her just before xmas but for some reason she fought for him not too. 2 weeks later she decided to try and make things work with him after declaring her love to me and left me totally gutted. Worst feeling I've ever felt in my life. Still get the occasional thing that reminds me of her but no more pining. It happened but it's no good letting your past control the present.
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Your comment struck a chord with me re wondering how they're getting on. I now feel that way about some fb's from a few years ago. I'm past wanting to be with them in the physical sense, as we once were, but would love to meet them for a drink and shoot the breeze, find out how they are, how they're travelling so to speak. I'm a curious person and I find it interesting how we all evolve doing this, and in life in general
-
RHP User
8 years ago
also, going back a lifetime here, but serious boyfriends from when I was young. I found one online a few years ago and it was great. We chatted about our lives. He seemed happy which was good to hear. One other I'd love to chat to. To be clear, chat only, after all this time, zero interest in anything else. So much can happen though throughout our lives. Sometimes you wonder whatever happened to them......
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Wise words. I don't live in the past, always move forward, though sometimes I think I need to slow down. I have this kind of ADD thing going on, partly that anyway, not limited to, but I can't stop, never sit. For example, when I'm out now, I practically power walk everywhere, even in shopping centres, always have music in my ears loud, buy takeaway coffee, never sit in a coffee place. It's like an obsessive compulsive thing that started a few years ago. People look at me confused, those that see me every day get used to it. I order my coffee and take off again while they make it. I need to stop doing this. It's affecting real life interactions, no hope of a guy hitting on me unless he put a pair of shoes on and chased me down the street lol I know what triggered it and when it started, won't go into that, but I just can't stop it. I'm worried if I sit down, I'll become sedentary again like I once was, so has taken me over. Might go some way to explaining my snide remarks about tv and how much time people spend in front of a screen. I still think it's a healthy change, but need to balance it a little bit. I would like someone to be able to 'catch me' lol So in relation to what you were saying, I'm the same with fb's or bf's, apply the feeling that if they're not into me anymore, move on, no point beating a dead horse. Those really special ones though, take a bit longer
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Fond memories yes, pining nope, history belongs in the past and if it was any different so many other beautiful things would have been missed.
-
MrJingles
8 years ago
With hindsight....decisions would be different.but what can you do. That old chest nut " if I knew now what I knew then" The story of my life :)
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Now if I'm reading between the lines here...I sense you may want a real emotional connection...haha yes I'm a deep thinker aren't I...ok...if I'm right do you think this is the best place to find it...im thinking maybe try a dating site?
-
RHP User
8 years ago
I agree, those special ones do take longer. One thing I've started doing now is not pulling my phone out and checking things and looking up things when I am waiting somewhere. I am taking time to look and listen to the world around me. To just hang out with me. Far too many people these days live in their phone. They can't even walk down the street without having their head stuck in it.
-
RHP User
8 years ago
No I'll never go on a dating site. I'm too sexual, it's just not me. Why would you think it would be any different there? The only way it would be different is if I became boring and men respected me because I was boring. Yeah nah 😉 trust me here, you don't know me but that is so far removed from who I am. Big yawn, no thanks
-
RHP User
8 years ago
I'm not the monogamous type. You do realise that? Just because I'm looking for that deeper connection, doesn't mean sex stops with everyone else. I scared the last vanilla off lol
-
RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' No I'll never go on a dating site. I'm too sexual, it's just not me. Why would you think it would be any different there? The only way it would be different is if I became boring and men respected me because I was boring. Yeah nah 😉 trust me here, you don't know me but that is so far removed from who I am. Big yawn, no thanks I'm f**ked if I know then...no more reading between the lines for this boy...you summed that up well!
-
RHP User
8 years ago
I'll just wait it out, the right person will come along. I suspect he'll be much like you though. Someone who I can bash heads with lol someone who is strong, isn't afraid of speaking their mind, of conflict. I like that. I'm attracted to the alpha male. Although I like to do it my way, life and all, I like my men to be strong and confident, dominate me 😛 To clarify that a little, I'm really turned off by men who shy away from any kind of conflict, not with me, but even just talking about conflict, some run for the hills. I think it's healthy to have heavy discussions, and to not always agree. In fact I believe politicians would get away with a lot less if people did exactly that, instead of rolling over. I appreciate your thoughts, thank you. I don't know the answer either 😉
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15120 Comments: 88165
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10236
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2520 Comments: 11667
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9766
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1006 Comments: 5246
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5782
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1992
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 867
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share