F50
Red hot parents
December 15 2012
Comments
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playful4u
13 years ago
Yes we wonder about the freedom we could enjoy together, the chance to travel when we like, head out on a whim or just do anything we desire. We have always had kids since we got together and did not have that precious time for just us. The other side is that we have two beautiful kids and a wonderful home and family unit and we miss them if we are apart, so if we did it all again and went back in time we would want those years of just us before kids.
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RHP User
13 years ago
They are gorgeous and I adore them, but I wouldn't want one.
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RHP User
13 years ago
We are very similar to Playful and didn't have a whole lot of just "us" time. Would we change anything...No way! We have met some amazing people on here, some parents and some without kids. We do our best to arrange time on our own but don't like planning something with too much expectation around it, which is why parties are great. We also like to socialise first so as opportunity arrives we are happy to host
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RHP User
13 years ago
I had my 2 children quite young (at 21 and 23) and they were both big, healthy, joyous sources of entertainment for me. So now that I’m 40, they are basically independent at 19 and 17 and I have the freedom to do with as I please. Naturally I worry with them being out at night and on the roads, but they know to flick me a text to let me know where they are and that they are safe.Life is good with zero regrets
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RHP User
13 years ago
to have kids to not have .that is the question..if you live the life style of parties .going out ,travelling then no mabe kids no for you..and as you get older you will find you might not have the time or energy to raise them anyway.i have neices and nephews who complain how having kids at a young age has put a holt on the life styles...all i can say is choose one or the other .if you stick with both then put the kids first anyway..their may be the day when as you sit at home alone longing for some company and your own children want nothing to do with you..as much as party life style is fun ,it nothing complared to the smile your young children give you or the feeling of having one cling to your leg a nd tell you how much they love you..
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playful4u
13 years ago
Quoting 'MissPoppins' I had my 2 children quite young (at 21 and 23) and they were both big, healthy, joyous sources of entertainment for me. So now that I’m 40, they are basically independent at 19 and 17 and I have the freedom to do with as I please. Naturally I worry with them being out at night and on the roads, but they know to flick me a text to let me know where they are and that they are safe. Life is good with zero regrets That's the ideal scenario Poppins, to have kids when you are younger (than us) if life works out that way. As you have said, there is a different dynamic to consider when they are older an independant. Enjoy your freedom before they have grandchildren :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
We were lucky enough to have meet when we were young and have 7 years just the 2 of us before kids came along ! But gosh we still love our time away from them too . It's all about balance . We are lucky enough to have parents who remind us all the time to not forget who WE are and not just be a mum and dad , so they have our children ever Friday night so we can go out and let our hair down or have a romantic date or lord forbid a whole conversation without being interrupted !! Lol they even have them once a year so we can go on holiday alone . For all the tough times , frustration they cause and sleepless nights you have worrying about them I couldn't imagine if I had got through my life and not been a parent . It's the toughest job you will ever do and they never thank you for all the great things you do just remind you of the mistakes you make . But the great time so make up for it ! But I will say if you have any doubt in your mind , don't have them . Cause it's hard work and you can't give them back . It's 24/7 , 365 days a year . And those who say as they get older it's easier , it's not , it's just different issues and problems to deal with . In regards to our swinging lifestyle , yes it does require more planning But is still just as much fun ! Gosh I am sure we are going to be a source of great embarrassment to our children cause we still cant keep our hands off each other even after all these years ! Xx mrs bhcouple
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RHP User
13 years ago
is the most wonderful experience,it will change your life forever. You may never experince 8 hours sleep ever again. You may feel totally exhausted juggling work and parenthood. Your sex life may go on hold for years. You will probably feel like a failure as a parent many times over the next 20 years You will feel worry and anxiety over their well being, more times than not.. You will question your sanity often. So, is it worth it? Absolutely, but you have to be prepared to change your life completely. The rewards far outweigh any minor inconvienences you may experience to your social life...
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm a single mum of 3 gorgeous kids and am having the time of my life. I get my cake and eat it too. My little pipsqueaks are the light of my life and make me laugh every single day. We're a great team and we're never lonely. Don't get me wrong they drive me insane regularly and the meaningless bickering does my head in but when they come up with funny little sayings, it just makes my day. Mr 4yr old was walking around the house the other day saying "Mum, Mum, Mum. It's all about Mum". I replied "Congratulations son, you have just learned life's most valuable lesson..." And every second weekend when they are with their dad .... It's all about MUM!!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I do worry about whether I will have the energy for it. But that's probably because I work demanding 12 hour days and don't have much energy for anything at the moment.
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RHP User
13 years ago
And I miss them very much, but I love my city lifestyle too much. I'm so glad I never had kids though. Quoting 'Ms_Devious' They are gorgeous and I adore them, but I wouldn't want one.
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Two_Tarts
13 years ago
I don't think you would actually find many parents who would genuinely change the choices they made about kids and ,while we are plainly biased, we think it would be really sad to not have the opportunity to struggle through the joys and challenges of raising children. They are an absolute game changer in terms of your priorities and focus in life but all the parents we know would not even imagine turning their back on such a meaningful and worthwhile challenge despite the many vocal complaints they might have. For us children are the most important measure of how much of a success our lives are and our greatest incentive and sense of purpose for wanting to succeed in the other areas of our lives. But as others have said, it is so important to find ways to take some time out from being parents so that you can focus attention on being both an individual and also member of a couple. Keeping some balance in your life is not only good for you and your partner but it is also good for the whole family unit and a great thing for kids to be able to see you as an individual as well as a parent (though the parent bit always gets priority) Welcome to RHP, the ultimate way for otherwise responsible parents to go to the very, very naughty corner for time out!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I don't actually regret having my little monster, it's more the circumstances she was born into. I didn't plan on being a divorced single dad at 24. It's very difficult to find the balance required to be the responsible parent with 50/50 custody and the naughty guy chasing a bit of fun. The actual parenting side of it is incredibly rewarding and the most fun I've ever had. Won't be having anymore though, don't wanna be the guy with a handful of kids to different mothers. Not gonna happen.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Torturedcliche' I don't actually regret having my little monster, it's more the circumstances she was born into. I didn't plan on being a divorced single dad at 24. It's very difficult to find the balance required to be the responsible parent with 50/50 custody and the naughty guy chasing a bit of fun. The actual parenting side of it is incredibly rewarding and the most fun I've ever had. Won't be having anymore though, don't wanna be the guy with a handful of kids to different mothers. Not gonna happen. Although I have 3 monsters and 100% custody, and I'm 43.Babysitting credits are used for the more important things....like working....so fun times for this red hot parent are few and far between.
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Pharlap
13 years ago
I was only talking to a mate of mine about this last week .He was saying how with two kids and a third on the way he has missed out on things in life.When i asked "like What?" he compared himself to other friends in the circle some financially secure with properties and investments some that had traveled and partied all their lives.But what he didnt realise was that none of those people had what he did,like a loving wife and two great kids !we cant have it all or can we? Its one of those questions you can only answer yourself by establishing what you want in life and how you are going to get there! I my self thought i had it all planned out and was achieving those goals until a recent change in a relationship where all that went out the window and now find im questioning myself again what do i want? what do i value? Will i be happy and content? I still havent found the answer!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Three are hers, from her previous union, two are mine and we've had two together. There is an eighth that I've never met. I had a girlfriend who took off and had the child alone. I've never been able to track her down and have had no word beyond the child being born twenty eight years ago. Of the rest, the youngest is six and the eldest is twenty four. As far as I'm concerned, if you only have one or two kids, you're an amateur. Each and every one of them is different. Anyway, if you're interested in the experience, I could rent some to you. How many would you like and for how long?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Thanks for the 'parent experience' offer but I suspect babysitting isn't a touch on the real thing. I'm thinking I'll just have one and then, if it turns out tobe a disaster, add one more to my sister's tribe ;)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Wonder what they COULD do, SHOULD'VE done....try this, be happy with what you have right now, as for some....there IS no tomorrow.
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Hanna_ybbn
13 years ago
For some - there is also no choice ....Hanna xxx
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Cheekyarses
13 years ago
Having 3 beautiful children, who I must say are not perfect angels, they fight with each other, aswell as with my husband n I... They are loud, funny, entertaining, stressful, adoring and I wouldn't change anything - they are my world n they make me try to be a better person everyday! To be a better version of myself as I want them to be good happy ppl! But having a child is alittle like having a tattoo on your face, you must be fully committed!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Everyone who has contributed seems pretty happy with what they have.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Absolutely agree xxxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Merely my view darl. I don't spend time wondering about what I could've done differently, or would I do it again for that matter. I just enjoy what I have right now, as tomorrow may never come.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'jensman1903' Of the rest, the youngest is six and the eldest is twenty four. As far as I'm concerned, if you only have one or two kids, you're an amateur. Each and every one of them is different. Anyway, if you're interested in the experience, I could rent some to you. How many would you like and for how long? The 24 year-old, if he's male? Only to help me move house, obviously! *rolleyes*
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RHP User
13 years ago
He's male, 5'9", 130kg. He runs MMA boot camps. He could help move your house. Our house moves every time he comes through the door. '
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Bathsheba' Thanks for the 'parent experience' offer but I suspect babysitting isn't a touch on the real thing. I'm thinking I'll just have one and then, if it turns out tobe a disaster, add one more to my sister's tribe ;) I have just the one child...Beautiful amazing person she is..she's taught me all about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE..I always knew growing up from an early age and through my early teens to late teens I didn't want children..unsure why? but didn't want...until I met her dad...I chose to have her cause he wanted children and not only that wanted the whole picked fence dream...I got that and was so unhappy and left...the only thing that has brought happiness to me is my daughter...One can not describe UNCONDITIONAL LOVE in words...all I know is I'm glad I did have just the one child.My daughter now is almost 17 and I have the best of both worlds...Freedom at last (no babysitters required), fantastic career and A "Love" like no other!! I couldn't be HAPPIER....
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have 3 wonderful kids aged from 10 to 21.. i would do it all again in a heartbeat
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RHP User
13 years ago
Are extra ordinary women and I am very happy I had them, and they fill my heart to the brim with joy
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RHP User
13 years ago
And credit card debt!!! :p
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RHP User
13 years ago
the ups far outway the downs in my opinion....i have 2 little ones.....although they have somewhat complicated my life i wouldn't have it any other way...i give up most of my weekends for the kids...they will not be little for very long....soon they will be teenagers and i will be an embaressment to them...
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RHP User
13 years ago
when my daughter was seven and we were living in California,a friend asked her what she would like to have more than anything else in the world.''A normal mother'',was the immediate response.''And what would a normal mother be like'' my friend asked. ''She would be blonde,skinny and she would wear pearls''.......twenty-one years later when my daughter looks in the mirror ,that is who she sees.Sometimes we inspire our children in the strangest of ways.
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RHP User
13 years ago
wouldnt change a thing... we love our kids, and we love being parents.... and now grandparents... we had kids, and the careers, and are now enjoying a life together, still fit and healthy, but more able to appreciate and afford the lifestyle we feel we deserve...
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think I've realised too late that it's want I desperately want. I've always loved kids but questioned whether I'd lay on the death bed and think back with regret or if I wouldn't miss it; after all I wouldn't know what I'd missed. And then it's easier, cheaper, avoids problems if the relationship doesn't work etc etc But after getting to where I'm at, having travelled and had opportunity to do whatever, I'm now thinking more and more that I want and need this great life experience, what else is there?We'll be gone in 30-50 or sometime soon. But who with
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RHP User
13 years ago
Pain, anger, frustration, general pissed-offedness as with my children. But then theres the flipside, they make me laugh, they make me cry, sometimes both at the same time... I see the amazing qualities in them that others often don't, and I think (swelled up with pride) I made that!!! By far my most amazing production yet... 14yo boy: Deep thinking, x box loving, melancholy, quiet, helpful, insightful, sensitive, dry SOH. 12yo boy: Life of the party, confident, will try anything once (sometimes twice just to be sure the first fuckup wasn't just a fluke), helpful, highly inquisitive, if the Principal is phoning it's always this one! 7yo boy: A little eccentric, thinks outside the box, very sensitive and loving, funny, laidback. 6yo girl: Girly (now) but tough as nails, gives as good as she gets, funny, very intelligent, bossy, oh so confident. Disclaimer: As I am just two years into my tenure as mother of teenagers, the 2nd part of this post is subject to change at any time.
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RHP User
13 years ago
As a single mum of one very gorjuz little man, i couldnt imagine my life without him. infact, when i try to think of my life before I had him, nothing meaningful sticks out. Having said that, im 26 and a single mum. I have him 24/7 and as much as I love him, I worry im gonna miss out on my 20's. But, I wouldnt change it for the world. I'll have my '20's' when I turn 50 if i have to. lol As for having a 'life swap' with someone who has kids??? lol dont do it!! Only a mother could love her child when he/she is trowing the mother of all fits in the middle of the shopping centre, or the child is trowing their guts up all over u and all you wanna do is give he/she a big hug and a kiss and tell them its ok. Only a mother could love a child when they turn into satan. Unless you want to be turned off having kids forever, dont go live with someone else children for a week. Goodluck :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
and unequivocally YES !I have one of each and then Snip !If you make the decision to never have children, good for you.But if you want a child and have the means, just do it ! I think to regret not having a child would be tragic.
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