F71
Redemption,do you beleve
April 12 2015
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
I haven't done really bad things but I'm not quite the arsehole I once was so yes I do believe in redemption. I also believe a leopard doesn't change its spots...even if they fade with the passage of time.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think it really comes down to the person to be honest. People can and do change if they truly want to, when I left my ex I told him a lot of things that I had really been unhappy about, to his credit he has changed a few of those things for the better, not so much that I would go back though, but good on him because if he ever gets a new partner I would hope he would treat her a lot better. - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetgem
11 years ago
It would depend on what awful things have they done and to what extend, but most importantly, how damaged or hurt did the victim feel. It's up to the individual's perception and feeling in my book. I have made mistakes in my young and dumb age, like everyone else would in life, but I got forgiven and accepted back under people's wing, after I showed true remorse and gave sincere apologies. They even mentored me to help me grew stronger and wiser and we have been close friends since. Therefore, I believe in redemption provided that the damage or hurt isn't awful to the point where the victim(s) cannot forgive nor forget about the incidents. I believe that everyone deserves a second chance in general, but there are leopards out there that will never change their spots and just don't deserve a second chance! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
To me.... asking if the leopard has changed it spots is only half the argument. The other half is....... after that old leopard has done what they did....... am I still willing to allow it into my life. DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've seen it. I've worked with many people with forensic histories, some with very long ones, who have chosen a different direction and worked hard to redeem themselves. I've seen dark things, but people like that make me believe that anything's possible.
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RHP User
11 years ago
...is in the eye of the beholder. It's a judgement call, and so whether someone's attrition and change is enough to make up for their wrongdoing will be an opinion that will differ from person to person. Maybe what really counts is whether the wronged person thinks it's enough, and whether the person themselves thinks it's enough.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I believe that 99% of the population can be redeemed and change and deserve support in that. Like Meander I have seen amazing transformations. Some people just need positive support and role models in their lives to start them on that path.
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RHP User
11 years ago
one must must first accept there is a problem....instead of blaming it That's a hard thing for some.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
You have naughty, trouble makers, trouble finders, people who take the wrong paths, people who make mistakes, people who make bad choices, these kind of people I believe can change. But they have to want too for themselves, not because the judicial system is making them.... Then you have purely evil people and I highly doubt if they could ever change, not matter what help they were offered.....💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
person will never change because..they don't see they have a problem in their eyes they are wonderful and you have the problem and need to change.and the only person you can change is yourself.that knowledge comes from 17 years of persistence and of wishful thinking .
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Paradisepair
11 years ago
A dear friend was fucked up in his youth and fucked up his life and someone-elses with a king/cowards hit. He now takes in troubled teens and walks the straight and narrow...
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RHP User
11 years ago
But only if one is truly remorseful and WANTS to change and that I believe is the key the WANT to change.
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RHP User
11 years ago
the truest form of remorse?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Doesn't it appear that the two Bali drug runners on death row are now remorseful and regret their crime?Facing imminent death must give one a very different view on ones past deeds...at least for people who are not trulywicked by nature...but made rather poor decisions instead. But the small crimes...cheating on a partner, stealing, etc...with little or no punishment for them, must be be quite easy for the perpetrator to consider recommitting.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I was a bad boy for long time changed that before it was to late... I do however believe it's a fate of sorts or rather our true making that allows us that change... Those that are simply evil intent I doubt can change at all.. They only get better at the lies. When is one forgiven for making a mistake in life? It's been 20 years now and I've tried really hard to give myself peace !
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RHP User
11 years ago
To me has a slightly religious meaning, as if being saved by a greater power etc. So no I do not believe in that sort of redemption. However I think most people have the power to change themselves with the right help and self motivation. Wether or not they deserve forgiveness just because they change and or sorry is another matter altogether. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is a whole other topic.but without forgiveness,we are kept hostage to the perpetrator of our pain.whether that person has changed.and redeemed themselves xxFreya
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
Forgiveness is a must if one wants to move on, but something's are unforgivable.....💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
There is no greater apology, than changed behaviour. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I can never understand though how some people forgive say the murderer of their child. Like you say without that forgiveness you carry that pain. I admire people who can forgive something so extreme however I am sorry to say I would seek revenge with every bone in my body if I was in that situation. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Theinbetweeners' I can never understand though how some people forgive say the murderer of their child. Like you say without that forgiveness you carry that pain. I admire people who can forgive something so extreme however I am sorry to say I would seek revenge with every bone in my body if I was in that situation. - Posted from rhpmobile Forgiveness is a mental choice, it means you decide to give away something due to you (revenge, justice etc) and it costs YOU. Emotionally, mentally, financially even. It does not mean the pain or loss stops, but it starts the process where you can continue to live again in the face of adversity. It is personal and benefits you more than the perpetuater, but benefits them too. Its primary motive is love, for self, for the victim, for the wrong doer. There is a double bind at work in unforgiveness. If you do not forgive, you take the anger rage etc into yourself and store it within, eventually you become like the thing / person you hate. You lock them into the same thing / behavior whenever you are around them, and its like a living destruction between you. Held long enough you can develop all kinds of illnesses, linked to your negative emotional condition. Forgiveness releases it out of you, and it may take time, having to forgive every time that thought emotion comes up, and it frees the other person to change as well, as you are no longer holding them, emotionally, within you. That other person can then be free to change because you are giving them that, as a gift, so to speak, and I'm not saying it is easy either. So if someone murders your child, yes they deserve punishment, we have legal systems for that, however inadequate or dis-functional they may be. If you take revenge, you yourself become the thing you hate with a passion, a murderer, binding your own future to bleakness. Would not the best revenge be to forgive, no matter how hard, then go and live a rich free life, doubly so for the one lost? Wouldn't that stop the ongoing cycle of pain? Aren't the 'lowlifes' just recycling their own unforgiveness onto someone else, and while not excusing them, aren't they victims too without the life skills to accommodate? Where will society learn from, or the role models come from if it doesn't start with you and your sphere of influence? A quote can be applied in this area of life. Start with small forgiveness's, with practice, it becomes strong for the big ones. “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who had practiced one kick 10,000 times.” ― Bruce Lee So this is where redemption begins, forgiveness changes us, how we see others, how we speak.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I totally get what you are saying and you are totally right. Fortunately, never having been in a situation where something seems unforgiveable, I can only imagine how I would react. I have always believed in an eye for an eye and the punishment being reflective of the crime. I have no sympathy for the child murderers etc of the world and believe they should carry unforgiveness with them for the rest of their days. Fortunately these incidents are rare and most other things can be forgiven. - Posted from rhpmobile
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couplefairride
11 years ago
I hope so. To err is human and Devine. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I believe that people can change. I'm going through a transformation right now ... does that sound all reality-tvish? I'm rethinking many aspects of my life and relationships, and there are mistakes I've made in my life that I will never relive again. I believe that the vast majority of people are able to change, but they need to be willing to, and they need to be aware of the fact that there is a problem which needs to be rectified. I've been terribly hurt by the actions of others in my life, too. I can forgive them - eventually, in some cases! And I can believe that they may change. But I don't know if I'll always be willing to let them back into my life, whether they have changed or not. Sometimes, though, it's hard to know what you'd do unless you are actually in a situation.
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sock26
11 years ago
Well I can talk to this subject from both sides of the fence as over the years I have made bad calls that seemed perfectly right at the time because that's where my head was at. Later there are things I wish I had never done and things I felt I needed to atone for. On the other side of the fence the terrible things done by others that hurt or damaged me or my life or possessions takes time to forgive but my revelation came after I'd realized what my actions had done to others that at the time held no consequence to me. Only after realising many of the messed up things ppl did... was not necessarily anything to do with me regardless of how it effected me. They were doing what they did because of them. They needed something and as a consequence I got hurt. I started to look at the wrong doers from my life differently and started asking why.... why did they need to do the things they did. Some were morally inconceivable to me at the time and I started to feel empathy and pity for what had for so long caused me anger or pain and once I started that I found there was no need to forgive them for what they had done as they were just doing what they felt they needed or wanted. My one ritual I felt I needed to do though is take the time to tell them what there actions had done to me not to hear them say there sorry as I didn't need that but for them to hear what there needs had caused. And maybe on reflection they may make better choices in future as I do. I also believe in a huge set of scales and its everyone's job to stop them from tipping to evil or the bad ... I personally work on a 1 to 5 ratio every poor or unthoughtful act that causes harm I try and do 5 good or helpful things. After a few yrs of trying to balance my scales I found the good and helpful just happened in everyday life so now I just consider how I affect others with my actions. People definitely change I can no longer understand my thought process from 5 yrs ago let alone 20. We all grow and evolve and with it so does our understanding of what our actions mean to others. People that have done you wrong and seek forgiveness seek it for there own reasons not yours. I ask for no forgiveness for harm I have done but where possible have made retribution even if just acknowledging to the other person my understanding of what my actions caused. these lessons I carry with me daily and help me not make the same mistakes. So I can't say I forgive as such but I understood and let go. Don't get me wrong these people are no longer in my life and never will be but I feel no need for them to be. If they want to be accepted back into my life it would be for there need not mine. To much sharing??? Lol
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