M49
Respect?
March 27 2010
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
i agree... if a woman wants respect she needs to act like a lady & not a skank basically cause when u send naked pictures to another man and still expecting them to treat u like a lady then your pretty stupid lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
hehe... ain't that the truth. Serious and prolonged flirting, flashing and sexual innuendo ultimately concluded with "how did you ever get any expectations"... or even more hysterical is the profoundly rediculous exclamation: "I only like to be bdsm... I don't have sex"... lmfao... women are so transparent. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
DeSade, are you saying that respect for casual sex is different from respect for something more meaningful? I didn't realise that respect had bias. I didn't reaslise that a woman had to earn respect. Yes, I am taking it out of context deliberately. We have entered a tricky area where our thoughts and opinions stemmed from our own value system, decide whether we respect a person or not based on how they present themselves. We are confusing respect with judgement. Nothing wrong with judgement though, we need to use it to be able to choose. But to confuse judgement with respect is incorrect. Self respect is something we come to and has many many layers and levels. It is to do with self worth. People who value themselves are able to respect another regardless of how they present themselves. Ok, so putting this in perspective...a guy sends me a message. I judge that message because that is the presentation that I am given...I respect the person by replying in a courteous manner. Just say I like the message and we move to chatting. Then he shows me a dick pic - rather than his face. I don't dis-respect him for it, but my judgement system says he is looking for something that I am not. From that point, we can say goodbye and move on. Assumptions which stem from judgement is in my opinion, the biggest cause of confusion in the dating world. Jx
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RHP User
16 years ago
I would never have made the connection that a woman who likes casual sex is any less deserving of respect. The two issues are disjunctive. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey deSade I think where you might be confused is that women's culture has become increasingly sexualised even in only the past few years and old definitions of women's sexuality are changing. You'd likely see it in more pure form on a dating site, but the concept of a 'sexy woman' has a whole lot of porn influences these days. The most evidence for that is in the popularity of pole dancing classes, and the regular discussions of sex on sex and the city. Basically, a woman on a dating site naturally wants the guy to think of her as sexy, so will post up pornographic photos because that's sexy. The second factor is that the definition of women's sexuality is changing. There's a lot less distinction between the old madonna/whore dichotomy. A woman can like to fuck, and advertise her enjoyment of sex, without wanting to fuck everyone she meets. I think it's true that women have always been discriminating in who they sleep with, but now it's more acknowledged that that is the case by society at large. I think a large part of that is the acknowledgement that women actually enjoy sex rather than just use it to secure a relationship. And finally I think that it takes a certain kind of bold woman to use a dating site anyway. I think you're more likely to run across women who know that they can set the terms and limits to an interaction and say no at any point. So while they want you to know that they have the potential to be nasty in bed, you're only going to get there if you're the right guy for them, and that includes treating them right!
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RHP User
16 years ago
There are many reasons why a woman might be happy to share naked photos and flirt with a virtual stranger but not be interested in having sex with him. I was one of those women - well, still am. For me RHP is a safe, online world where I can explore and indulge my love of voyeurism and exhibitionism and titillate myself. For a long while RHP was the place I visited to get my mojo back, after it was nearly extinguished from a sexless (but very loving) relationship. I made sure that I ALWAYS made it clear to men that I was not going to meet them. On the few occasions when I did meet a man, I made it clear I was not meeting for sex before we agreed to meet. I believe I deserved to be treated with respect, and fortunately I was treated with respect - I think because I gave very clear messages and did not waiver from them.To suggest a woman who is openly sexual in her online flirting with a man should be less respected than a woman who is not is ludicrous. Sexuality is normal, healthy and expressed in many and varied ways.I understand and agree that the situation can be different when a woman has been explicitly sexual with a man, has NOT been clear about her intentions, meets up (usually knowing the man wants sex) and then gets offended when the man 'expects' something or treats her as a casual f**k. Women have a responsibility to be clear about what they are offering and stick to that. Sometimes I think women do knowingly lead men on and get a kick out of it. That's not something that deserves respect, IMHO.Other than that ... respect, always!!!lilmiss x
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RHP User
16 years ago
Different people respect for different reasons... and different people have different value systems to critique each other on...i once had a guy tell me he wanted to have a 3sum but he wouldnt do it with me or anyone he thought he might marry because he wouldnt like to have a wife who he knew did those things?! i think its funny!I can see where you are coming from, they message you and elude to the fact they want to be more than friends etc but then send you pics of their pussy... which in your eyes means they dont value their own body enought to save it for someone special? perhaps though where we like to fuck they like to show? lol i can see both sides of this so i may just hop back up on the fence for this one :) Given my behaviour recently...i'm curious if you still respect me DeSade? xxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have sent some naughty pictures lately without meeting them, I somewhat regret it but I regards all men making contact as a genuine friend, potential companion so I treat them with all respect without putting them into category of a sex object. It is kind of thank you gesture for their time and effort for writing to me and so on. I always get a smile or good responses from pictures I sent, it makes me happy too. I think that seeing nude pictures makes man happy makes blood flow faster and so on, giving them much of good health benefits. As a friend I don't mind making them happy even it is just for a few minutes that will probably come with some happy imaginary thoughts. We are in fast moving society and I do agree with lilmissfussy 100% that respect should not be taken away for any reasons.I met a guy online and very same day he had sent me his naughty pictures simply to make me smile, that was a great gift and made me actually smile and blushed out of blue in years. We became very close friends and still enjoys exchange texts and pictures whenever we can, we are too busy and live far away but that keeps my day happier. If I get to know a lonely man then I initiate bedroom conversation soon, and he thanked that night he slept better. I am just happy that I have made him little happier. Woman wants to give love and give everything out for others, that's what we do and we do it well in all respect.If you don't like it say to them it made you upset and she would probably say sorry, and then moving on.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I also think you'd have to consider your own role in the matter. Did you ask or pester her to send said photos? Because if you did, and then you judge her for complying with your request, then that smacks of hypocrisy to me. I also agree with Stalky- it shouldn't have to be a rigid choice between casual sex OR respect. We don't make that distinction for men like Matty Johns or Bill Clinton, so why should it automatically be a blanket condition for every woman who likes to express herself sexually- just cos she's a bit more experimental than some others out there, suddenly her personality counts for zilch? This kind of attitude is what I hoped to escape when I joined this site. :/
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RHP User
16 years ago
I generally don't send pics of my bits out to people I haven't met... I don't have any pics like that on my laptop, so if you receive a pic of my bits it's meant I had to go to the trouble of getting out my camera, taking a pic, resizing it and emailing it to you, before deleting the initial picture. If I have gone to this trouble then you can pretty safely assume that I think you're a bit of alright and would like to get to know you better. So to assume that someone has sent you pics of their cunt they are sending those same pics to everyone, you could very well be mistaken. Would that knowledge change how you view that person?As for sending pics without any intention of following through, well, I don't really get that. I don't think that's a reason for losing respect for someone, I think that likely there's just been some communication break down.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Respect is a funny thing. For me it sort of works like this. Everyone is deserving of a certain level of respect purely by virtue of them being a human being. For me that is bedrock, unchangeable. But above and beyond that respect is earned in many ways for me. Could be an achievement, could be because of a title/position/job, could be just their personality. For me respect does not necessarily have anything to do with liking the person. There are some people who I have a great deal of respect for but who I really, really don’t like. But to get back on topic. I believe you can respect a person no matter how many lewd pics they send you. A few people have mentioned in posts or messages that “respect” in a 3some or group situation is essential, and then explain that this means you shouldn’t treat a girl like a “slut”. God that is a terrible word and it is used so inconsistently. Sometimes a “slut” is someone who has sex indiscriminately but more often it is used to describe a woman who enjoys sex, is forthright about saying what she wants and goes after it. The second of those two is really attractive to me. I like sex, I can be forthright about what I want from sex and I like to go out and try to find that. I think it is partly a double standard thing. What we accept in a man, we find difficult to accept in a woman. As an example, take the group sex thing. I cannot understand why it is treated any different for a man involved in or attracted to group sex than for a woman. After all they are both thinking or doing the same things. I would much rather accept the person. I think that is why most people into swinging keep it separate from the rest of their lives, to stop that whole judgement thing. Not a big one for quoting the bible, but two bits kinda leap out in relation to this. “Judge not lest ye too be judged” and the other one about “why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?” Anyway, just my thoughts. I have to get off this computer now and start scanning the skies for that raincloud. You know, the one that has the lightning bolt ready to be sent by divine intervention for quoting the bible in an RHP forum.
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RHP User
16 years ago
lolz justforfun... I am a slut. I like to be around other sluts. I think we should repossess the word and give it more credability. It's not a detrimental insult... it simply describes my desires and inspirations. as for quoting the bible.. I can never look passed the old testament for inspiration... take the parable of the two sisters for instance who lusted after guys who were hung like donkeys and could squirt jizz like horses. (Ezekiel 23:20)... or maybe you'd prefer to sit with your mates and drink each other's piss and eat shit (2Kings 18:27).... or get pissed as a fart and then shag both of your daughters and knock 'em up (Genesis 19:30-38).... I mean.. really... there's nothing we can say here in RHP land that hasnt been said discretely or otherwise in the bible. Sex isnt new. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
We are all sexual objects. It is how we replicate. It is also how we gain pleasure. It is also how we connect with each other (no stalky you can't connect with me ffs we live too far apart). Respect is acknowledging the fundamental or aquired worth in another human being. I respect you all! I also want to fuck some of you really badly! Porn pics/sexting is just the new way to wink. To say "I am a sexual being, pleasure me!" Has nothing to do with someone's worth, in fact, I would respect a woman more if she knows what she wants. And if that is to show me sexy pictures and also tell me she wants something more out of life than cock, who am I to judge? If I can fill the hole AND fill the hole, more power to me! Random
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RHP User
16 years ago
I am not, nor have I ever said a woman who has casual sex or sends these type of pics doesn't deserve respect. That was never my point I was trying to make. Quite the opposite in fact, I have a regular FB's & photo senders whom I respect a lot. The point I am trying to make is actions vs words. To a point there needs to be a consistency of the message the two convey. As an example a woman cant say she isnt in to one night stands then sleep with guys on the first night and still expect you to respect her persona of not being that type of person.You can lose respect for someones behavour/actions but not lose respect for the person if you get what I mean. As most do I have people in my liffe whom I love but have little respect for their choices/actions. But my perception of them is not something I am constantly on the offensive with them about, but alas I digress. Bottom line, I respect consistency in people, I do as I say and say as I do. Don't be a player, be honest & open.Also to comment on something someone said above. I would not be put off if I was made to wait before being intimate(planned casual sex excluded). I have never been in a meaningful relationship with someone who puts out on the first night & would expect the same perception to be made of me if I was willing to go there. Desade_ReturnsHappiness lies neither in vice nor in virtue; but in the manner we appreciate the one and the other, and the choice we make pursuant to our individual organization.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I respect a persons capacity to change their mind. I may not always like it when they do. I might be deeply disapointed but people can and do change their directions on a whim. After all, morality is a value judgement... a line drawn in the sand... all it takes is a little wind... a force of nature and the line moves. We are all part and parcel of this natural order... that is, the law of entropy. Change ought to be expected. It's natural. We let go of our inhibitions and cross that arbitrary line we drew in the sand. I am surprised by people who don't shift positions when the line becomes blurred. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
DeSade_returns is now another ghost profile...The comment that I wanted to add is that no part of any step towards possible further intimacy guarantees the next... ever.To assume so, would be a along the lines of the lawyers defence that she deserved it cos she dressed that way, is how this argument sounded to me...Mrs P'
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