M50
Sex Bloopers
February 13 2013
Comments
-
RHP User
13 years ago
But for some reason it never got approved.. My worst was when I was still a virgin.. Things were getting frisky, both quite drunk and she was naked, I was kissing my way down her body and omg at that very moment my head started spinning and I threw up over the side of the bed straight onto the carpet... Didnt go down to well for some reason haha.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Play D'oh!
-
cbdlivin
13 years ago
Great story, I am sure most people have had interesting injuries, for me I had a lunchtime interlude where after a very enthusiastic lunchtime I had done the muscle in the groin, (not that one get your mind out of the gutter) and I could hardly walk and had to go back to work, Very hard to explain why I could hardly move at the office.B
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Farted once during sex. My partner was horrified! Scarred me for life ;)
-
RHP User
13 years ago
and so do polished floors ... Whoopsies!!!!!
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Going at it for a while... watch out, your boobies can get suction cupped to your partners chest and make some god awful noises... and that folks, is another reason why god gave men elbows... and mankind doggy style.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I was having a rest,lying on my stomache when suddenly,yep a penis was knockin' at my door,wrong door
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Went parking once when my left knee got caught between passenger front seat and middle console...and then I got a cramp in right leg! Do you know his hard that is to try and move......leg caught door, cramp in other leg and penis in my twat...you just can't!!!!! Foxy - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Having first-time sex with a gorgeous Scottish lad called Robbie, who had been a friend of my recent ex and myself for quite a while, when my phone rang. As my dad had just had a heart attack, I had no choice but to answer it. I was greeted by the voice of a mutual friend, asking why I was answering Robbie's phone. Oops, we had the same Siemens, and our secret romp was no longer a secret... Luckely my ex had just moved overseas and I don't think he was ever told.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Luckily*
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Was that the completely wrong door (supposed to be someone elses) or just THE wrong door. Went parking a few months back... Worst sex I've ever had (empathise Superfox) It's like doing yoga in a crate, I say leave it to the teenagers who don't have a choice.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I lived in Adelaide for my uni years, and lived in a residential college for 3 of those years. One unusually quiet night, I was up late, working on a project, left my room heading for the loo, I spotted a female collegian at the far end of the corridor, knocking on a door, I smiled and continued on my way, and as I was about to make myself a cuppa, grabbed some milk from the communal fridge. A minute or 2 after returning to my tiny room, I heard a knock. It was this same young lady. I hardly knew her, but she disarmed we a smile, asking if I could make her a cup of coffee. Had my own kettle, happily oblige. We got talking, and one thing led to another ... she was bored, and a bit lonely, was hoping to visit her friend but wasn't in, saw me and thought why not get to know me a little better. We talked about her lovelife, and mine - which was non-existent- she asked me if I wanted a kiss, so "yes, please". Kissing, fumbling - me, not her - clothes started peeling off, I had a hell of a time with her stockings and bra, soon we were both naked. She asked if I had a condom - yes, thank Christ - and after some more kissing and fumbling she was suddenly on top of me, on a very hard, narrow bed, bouncing up and down on me and moaning loudly "oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, fuck me, fuck me" just like a porn movie, with the tugging of hair and histrionics, I almost wilted with the embarrassment, and soon she 'came' ... and then not long after her, I came, quietly. We lay together for about half an hour, just whispering, talking, then she said she had to go, and thanked me for everything. The next morning I ambled down the stairs to the dining hall, and within seconds I heard a chorus of "yes, oh yes, yes", various passionate moans and groans directed at me from at least half the people there ... a few years later I found out that half my corridor neighbours were outside my room door that night listening to the carrying's on of Gail ... apparently she was quite well known to ambush shy guys and give them a night they wouldn't forget ... grrrrrrrrrrrrr .... great way to lose my virginity, don't you agree? hahahahahahahahahahaha
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Set a pair of jeans on fire, a few trips as clothes were being ripped off, and beds they're just tricky little buggers aren't they. Or is it only me that ends up on the floor? :-(
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Took a ex GF down by the river where we sat on this big rock and started to kiss fondle etc. Off come the clothes which we laid on the rock for her to lay on. There we were rooting away for quite awhile when all of a sudden she starts going oh oh oh oh ooohhhh.. I thought she was cumming ' but noooo. The circulation in her leg's had been cut off, so l jumped up to help her up and she collapsed. I tryed to help her up several times but she kept going down.. We both could'nt stop laughing when l felt this sensation on my nuts. lt was the wet nose of this big black dog which frightened the bejeezus out of me. By now the feeling was returning to the GFs legs but couldnt stop laughing at the dog.. What a night..
-
avidmale
13 years ago
Quoting 'lil_bit_angelic' Farted once during sex. My partner was horrified! Scarred me for life ;) I think i can trump this.. Was in 69 and farted... i was on the bottom.. I think the result was similar though.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
PMSL....Dam straight, it is Like YOGA in a crate!!! I got a new car, had to be broken in somehow...if you know what I mean? ;-) SuperFox - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
13 years ago
A girlfriend was sucking my lolly & she thought I was cumming & swallowed every last drop . Turns out she had bitten me & drawn blood ;(- Posted from rhpmobile
-
Cheekyarses
13 years ago
lol - years and years ago, before I had discovered waxing.... My partner and I were getting very hot and heavy and he reached for the lube, but it wasnt lube, it was hair removal cream..... arghhhhhhhh the pain and the burn... Up to the hospital we went. Very embarrassed 20yr old at the time, but the nurses and doctors got their amusement of the night....
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I too have fallen through a bed during a five-some (me and four other guys), on which occasion I was ridicilously drunk that I just burst into tears.I have had a guy fart in my face whist giving head...what a pleasant experience?!I didn't even realise how hard I was being slapped until my tits were black and blue for 3 weeks.I was once whipped by another girl at a party and woke up with welts on my ass.I have hit my head so hard on a wooden bedhead (whilst being fucked from behind) that I had an 'egg' on my head for days.Fallen off the bed on countless occasions, always good for a laugh.I've been left with rope marks around my wrists for days and a numb thumb from the rope being tied too tight and cutting off circulation.That's a nice introduction haha
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Have had a guy fart while I was blowing him....we were both pretty drunk so I didn't mind as much as I normally would.Have broken a bed as well. I was on top at the time Once during the teenage years when the bf and I had to find outdoor shag spots, we were driving through some bush when his old Mazda 323 got bogged in the loose dirt. BF went down the road to ask for help from people camped at a rest spot, they helped tow us out. I'm sure they knew exactly what we were doing there. Same BF's mother caught me giving him a hand job in his bedroom. And found a bra of mine in her car after one of our shagging sessions in it. She didn't particularly like me at the time hehe.And a story which thankfully isn't mine....an ex FB told me how his mate and the mate's gf were going at it in the shower. Shower had a glass screen which he was leaning on with his hands....screen broke and they fell through, one of his arms was really badly cut up and needed some ridiculous amount of stitches.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I think I would classify my self as a living hazard here.. lets seesome really bad ones were in the shower actually falling in shower and going throght the glass after the shower soap holder that my girl had her hands on while getting rammed from the back broke and left the wall.. breaking a tree branch that I had the girl tied too and sort of hanging from.. broken base of bed x 3 "I was on top every time, they must not make beds the same these days"broke frame of bed once "tied up to it" cracking and breaking car bonnet and sort of feeling engine parts.. " was carbon fiber bonnet of race car.."broke a small marble base coffee table.. fuckt a girl so hard and for so long that she had skin and flesh pealing out of her pussy !! "she loved it and wanted more but couldn't move. damn that was one hot nymph who could keep up and take it like a champ..."choked a girl till she passed out 3 times in the same sesh without knowing and she told me after that it happened and it was such a turn on !! i got worried..belt, rope leather marks.. braking the balcony hand thing in Thailand lol we almost both went down that was not good at all.one of the funniest was I was getting a blow job in the back seat of my "showcar" which i never play in .... and when I cam after 2 shots in her mouth she choked and moved away and the 3rd shot hit the roof of the car and got stuck then slowly fell back into her hair .. could never look at my beast the same again.. shooting at eyes and hair is always a funny one.falling out of the bed is always a good one.. getting cramps or hitting something when im cumming and breaking it usually .. oh and having an ex go home and get asked by her sister after coming out of shower if she has been attacked or raped by animals and humans due to all the bite marks, scratches bruises and dirt and tares in her cloth..
-
RHP User
13 years ago
I'm thoroughly enjoying reading these stories while eating my vegetarian laska & laughing...
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Me thinks you were probably blowing him like a balloon so it had to come out somewhere... You suppose to suck not blow... even though they call it a blow job.... kidding of course....
-
RHP User
13 years ago
...I thought I had the mini-trampoline lined up just right to bounce up and grab the flying fox and just at the right distance to land in the hot tub full of warm chocolate pudding and the two gorgeous flight attendants from an SAS filight staying over? I missed and sure glad the wall behind it was plasterboard...I could have been really seriously injured when I hit it full speed but only left a full body print with a hole punched in the middle. I was dazed and confused but fortunately not rendered unconscious.Try explaining that to the ambos...the flight attendants didn't speak English.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Jay_Me' Me thinks you were probably blowing him like a balloon so it had to come out somewhere... You suppose to suck not blow... even though they call it a blow job.... kidding of course.... Ohhh is that what I've been doing wrong??!! That might explain quite a few things actually
-
RHP User
13 years ago
After having a lunch, went and met an fb in our favorite parking spot. Was going for a second lunch - him, and with the usual enthusiasm, started gagging on him and ended up spilling half my lunch on his lap. Oops.
-
RHP User
13 years ago
Just keep repeating to yourself... I must suck, not blow, suck, not blow.. etc etc.. then it'll just cum naturally after awhile... I know , I know, Im a wealth of knowledge.... Jay
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15120 Comments: 88138
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10230
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2520 Comments: 11663
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9760
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1006 Comments: 5251
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5774
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1988
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 867
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share