M65
Sex OH&S Regulations
September 09 2011
Comments
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Though obviously not a fashion item, a necessity all the same for the following: 1. Should you suddenly find the need to kneel in a non-carpeted room to closely inspect ummmmm those things found at waist height. 2. Great for saying those long prayers when your neck deep in shit with the little woman. 3. Begging. To be applied after the completion of point 2. 4. Cold nights, as a lovely surprise and bonus to realising you can still get your knees around your ears, you find them warm .
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I think all new employees should watch the safety video..some may call it porn.. However before accepting the position it would be important to know how many rolls you may need to fill ..and remember the bosses door is always open !
-
RHP User
14 years ago
...be qualified in and maintain a CPR certificate and demonstrate that she can employ proper "compression to breath" ratios at all times. He must be able to demonstrate his knowledge by checking to make sure the throat is clear of obstructions before she commences. | After that....just keep your phone handy and don't forget the number 000. I'm an uncertified instructor but not above forging a certificate to keep you on the right side of those noodles from OH&S.... | ...most women blow the test but still get certified.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Completing a standard Hazard ID checklist... 1. Entanglement - Is there a risk of moving parts being entangled with Hair, Ties, Jewellery etc... 2. Crushing - Can anyone be crushed due to - Material falling off, Uncontrolled / unexpected movement of the equipment or its load, the equipment rolling over, parts of the plant or equipment collapsing, coming into contact with moving parts during testing/inspection, being thrown off or under the plant/equipment... 3. Cutting/Stabbing/Puncturing - Can anyone be cut, stabbed or punctured due to - sharp or flying objects, work pieces being ejected... 4. Friction - Can anyone be burnt, gain abrasions etc due to - contact with moving parts of the plant/equipment parts... 5. Body hitting objects - Can anyone be injured by a person hitting plant/equipment/fixtures due to - Limited space/access, poor layout or design, sharp or protruding objects... 6. Working posture and position - Can anyone be injured due to - Reaching for more than 1 minute continuously, Forward bending of back for frequent or prolonged periods, Kneeling/squating for a prolonged period... 7. Duration and Frequency - Can anyone be injured due to - Repetitive movement over long periods (manual handling), Overexposure to a task... And the list goes on and on...............
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Slippery when wet.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Just to make sure you're doing the job properly And don't forget those quarterly reviews for the Board!
-
RHP User
14 years ago
All persons engaged in sexual practice will henceforth be required to have a Compliance Manager in attendance to make sure the rules and regulations posted on this thread are adhered to and all safety precautions are carried out in the appropriate manner. Any person deemed to be engaging in dangerous or inappropriate practices will be referred by the aforementioned Compliance Manager to the Castigation Department Head for a warning notice or suitable chastisement.By order of the Sexual Practices Administration.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I thought that said "Compliant Mangler report to the Masturbation Department". | When I was running down the hall to put in my application, I slipped on the tiled floor in the hall. | Wear appropriate shoes in the workplace.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
hmmm...seems like I'm safe..I can do all the training....(cert iv in workplace training and assessment) have the skills (cert iv as WSO) qualified and certified as First Aider, Low Voltage Rescue, Confined Space entry and rescue. from Jan 1, with the change in legislation here and Harmonisation....will be the compliance officer where I am employed.......
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Just remember Safety rule No 1 If you don't feel safe........Refuse to do it! And see your safety reps.... Now who are our Safety reps?Beauxxxx
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Anyone non compliant, ie: unable to touch their toes - are required to use supportive blocks or ropes in order to ensure that all positions can be fully achieved without injury
-
RHP User
14 years ago
All tables in the board room must be safety inspected and be adequately tested for a load bearing capacity of not less 4 average size adults. Further, all such tables must have a minimum of six recessed and accessible tie downs suited to holding a small sailing vessel securely in place. | All oversized chairs must be covered in Argentinian leather and deemed compliant for safety purposes suited to all uses of the table as noted above.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
When working in tricky situations harnesses should be worn. Please ensure that all ropes are tied correctly and all strapon appliances are stable.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I recently saw a sign ..... Danger!! men working above . lmao I'd be worried too
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Fiona I see you have your ...erm safety harness on good to go!!
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Wife's Revenge: A wife arrived home and found her husband in bed with another woman. she drags him out of the house, into the tool shed in their back yard and put his penis in a vice. Securing it tightly and removing the handle, she then picked up a hacksaw. Terrified, her husband screamed, "Stop! Please! You aren't going to cut it off, are you?" Placing the saw in her husband's hand, the wife replied, "Of course not! I'm going to set fire to the shed. You do whatever you have to do!!
-
RHP User
14 years ago
A Uniform Job Description (herein after referred to as the UJD) shall be applied accordingly to the governance of the The Act 2009 FWA whereby the definition of the title of the role "Cougar" shall be applied to any and all women at and/or above the age of 40 who may be found or suspected of participating in and/or enticing, soliciting or otherwise knowingly offering participation in any act that would be deemed as sexual either implied or consensual with a male at and/or under the age of 33. |To facilitate immediate compliance with all OH&S requirements, the UJD shall be deemed as the governing workplace statutory agreement and applied concurrently and retroactively without arbitration and/or mediation including any and all covenants of the Uniform Employment Awards Act (Conditional and Transitional 2010) without exception.|Further to which, any female wishing to engage in and/or continue in all activities deemed to be consistent with the UJD of the said role of "Cougar" shall be subject to an intensive application and review process by the Quality Assurance and Training Department (herein after referred to as the QATD) comprised solely of men at and/or over the age of 40. Any woman found to be under skilled and/or incapable of all training requirements will be offered an in-house training program to be conducted solely by and at the discretion of the QATD. Failure to comply with this strict OH&S mandate shall be subject to immediate dismal and the party in breech shall involuntarily be confined in the mailing room working in solitary confinement in a locked cubicle. No battery internet access, battery powered devices nor power point connections shall be allowed or provided. |Considering all this bullshit was my idea and I actually sat here and typed it...guess who is the irrevocable Senior Manager of the QATD? Guys, I am sure I will need help...so you can line up on the right. Cougar applicants may now move your gorgeous asses and form a line to the left and wait for you number to be called. Bribes will be accepted...just don't insult the QATD by offering us cash or your credit card. I love my job...|...everyone deserves to have a fair go in the workplace.
-
playfulminx
14 years ago
;)
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Seems we are getting ISO compliant :)
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15123 Comments: 88145
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10231
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2520 Comments: 11665
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9760
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1007 Comments: 5253
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5776
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1988
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 867
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share