Sex therapist

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Ask Bettina Arndt. She's a sex therapist. Couldn't imagine having sex with her myself though. WILDly questioning

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  If they're worth paying, I expect that they're professional psychologists. If my appreciation of medical ethics is in tune, I'd say there's no way that they will have sex with you without risking their careers. You would choose a professional by getting a referral from your G.P. doctor, or by using google..... look for the "Dr" part preceeding the name. Otherwise you might find a guy like stalky who sits in a room lined with cushions and levitates above your genitals.... hehe. "Therapy" involves discussion either together or separate, or both in a clinical environment. I can't imagine that ever requires the therapist to "watch".HugsStalky

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  You wont get to have sex! with a sex therapist! But you both need to be 100% honest for it to help! open disscussions! they may suggest games taking things back to a dating time in your life to rekindle the sexual attraction and connection! to talk about fantasies! Good Luck if u both what it, it will work! Jensta xxx

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  There are sex therapist out there , there are quiet a few in fact. In Sydney there are probably two who are the most prominent due to the media. Interestingly niether are Psychologists, they are Psycotherapists. Hmmmmm whats the difference arent they all the same ? NO. Psychologists are university trained ( loads of hours and hours of supervised practice) and are a recognised registered profession. Psycotherapists come from a variety of backgrounds and experience whilst many may have university educations in the area or other areas they are not a registered profession , they do have a professional association but this is not a registration board. You do not need a GP's referral to see either. You can though if that makes you comfortable although I find most GP's really have little idea about who is a good referral source. Although some Psychologists have doctorates (Dr in front of their name) it is NOT neccessary to be one to practice but YOU MUST have an appropriate degree recognised by the registration board. I have visited a sex therapist (A Psycotherapist) , why .... oh the reasons are too numerous to mention ....... I am ridiculously sane ( now certified and medicated ) but working out rules of a polyamorous relationship in a BDSM world can be complex you know !!!!!! sheeeeeez! The experience I must say was dreadful she was terrible and truly I left disappointed. I have subsequently visited a very good Psychologist who helped me/us establish rules and work through how things can work more ...... hmmmm thinks .........hmmmmmm thinks .... effectively ? (lost for words) I am happy to let you know who I found helpful but you will need to contact me privately if you are serious ....sometimes RHP is just fun which is my prefered model but at other very serious. Now all of you have a good lie down and a bex and I will chat again to you once youve done your relaxation excersizes .....ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Doc Brae ......... concentrating on his breath in and now out ....in and now ........

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  lolz Brae ya funny bugger... so let me get this right... a sex therapist is a psycotherapist (let's read that slowly psyco~ the~rapist !!) but the one you chose was crap so you went to a psychologist who actually helped. OK Check! Use the dudes with the professional qualifications and the "Dr" in front of their names!! Did your psychotherapist levitate? :pHugsStalky

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I suggest you get a hand from THING, i have seen his fingers do the walking !!

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'stalky' lolz Brae ya funny bugger... so let me get this right... a sex therapist is a psycotherapist (let's read that slowly psyco~ the~rapist !!) but the one you chose was crap so you went to a psychologist who actually helped. OK Check! Use the dudes with the professional qualifications and the "Dr" in front of their names!! Did your psychotherapist levitate? :pHugsStalky I think she thought she did ........crazy mumma ....she also told me how balanced and sane I was ......first sign she didnt know what she was talking about ! Yes some Psychologist have a Phd but not all ........ confused yet ? But all have degrees and are registered! Being board registered I would suggest is the key ! Psychologist, Psycotherapist .........we didnt even start on the what a Psychiatrists does ........... all this psyc stuff is psycing me out ....it's doing my head in ......but fuck who do I see............??? Brae ............ Still with his Pants on his head , but completely sane !

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Damn she was one Twisted sexual Diviant" (The amount of ideas's she came home with). What a learning curve for a I will admite naive 22 year old.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I too have had experience with two clinical physc's, they had a specialisation in family counseling, so in my case keeping my ex and I talking amicably instead of acting with vengeance! I hated it to begin with and now simply cannot believe our society ignores emotional intelligence the way it does. I believe it is as equally important as starting your life with doctors, dentists, teachers of readn writn and arithmetic!! Off topic,my point is there are lot of different people to talk to with different qualifications, Holistic medicine is the future (I hope...). So there many different people to get advice from, and depending on now u tick will depend on what will work for you. It isn't as simple following a recipe I am afraid! But doing a quick search online and I found a clinical physc with a masters degree in sex therapy. So start ur journey it is well worth it :)

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Wow, thanks for the feedback and the info! I'm offf to google sexy psycho's with letters after their name or call who themselves's "Doc".......I think ;p . Cheers :)

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  That was a great comment, Boobalicious! Thanks for being so forthcoming. . I too have some personal experience with counselling and I've trained and work in the human services world. I'd never heard of a "sex therapist" in Australia per se but Boobalicious has broadened my horizons, they even have Masters specialisation degrees! Before I saw that I was going to recommend any relationship counsellor who works with couples. If they've been in the game long enough they will already have heard anything you two can bring to the session and then some! Boobalicious hit the nail on the head when she talked about learning to communicate better. I predict that amongst other learnings, both individual and as a couple. . The above poster was right to list the difference between registered psychologists and psycotherapists (more commonly known as counsellors in Australia). That's not to say that a psychologist is always going to be better than a counsellor simply because their profession is more regulated. I've known some brilliant counsellors, say, professional social workers or similar, and some very mediocre psychologists. I think the point is to ask the prospective professional about their qualifications and experience. Let them know what you're looking for and ask if they fit the bill. If they don't, do they know someone to whom they could refer? Please don't be afraid to ask them this sort of thing - most actually prefer that you do. No matter what, you guys stay in the driver's seat. . The same goes with the style of "therapy" (talking, more or less) they use. You don't neccessarily have to go into childhood stuff. Many contemporary therapies focus on "the here-and-now", as they call it. You may be interested in what's called "brief therapy" in that it's intentionally short - maybe 6 sessions?- whereby you develop a goal you'd like to achieve by the end. Also consider looking for a "solution-focussed" scenario - that is, not concentrating so much on what's wrong, but talking about what it will look like when it's right and working towards that. . If you'd like to find a registered psychologist as opposed to a counsellor you could try the Australian Psychological Society's website. It has a "find a psychologist" section where you could select what you're looking for, say, "sexual difficulties" and "couples therapy" along with your post code to list relevant professionals. You could also try Relationships Australia. I think their emphasis is more along the lines of mediation and couples considering separation but I'm sure they've heard it all, too. Note that Relationships Australia don't necessarily employ psychologists, but they employ experienced and qualified professionals in a related field, such as counselling-majors and social workers. . Of course, if you didn't have anything like that in mind (and it sounds like you may not!) then I have no idea where to look for the more crackpot, unregulated "therapists" who would watch you at it and give you tips. Sorry! . Anyway, all the best!

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'slippery_halo' That was a great comment, Boobalicious! Thanks for being so forthcoming. . I too have some personal experience with counselling and I've trained and work in the human services world. I'd never heard of a "sex therapist" in Australia per se but Boobalicious has broadened my horizons, they even have Masters specialisation degrees! Before I saw that I was going to recommend any relationship counsellor who works with couples. If they've been in the game long enough they will already have heard anything you two can bring to the session and then some! Boobalicious hit the nail on the head when she talked about learning to communicate better. I predict that amongst other learnings, both individual and as a couple. . The above poster was right to list the difference between registered psychologists and psycotherapists (more commonly known as counsellors in Australia). That's not to say that a psychologist is always going to be better than a counsellor simply because their profession is more regulated. I've known some brilliant counsellors, say, professional social workers or similar, and some very mediocre psychologists. I think the point is to ask the prospective professional about their qualifications and experience. Let them know what you're looking for and ask if they fit the bill. If they don't, do they know someone to whom they could refer? Please don't be afraid to ask them this sort of thing - most actually prefer that you do. No matter what, you guys stay in the driver's seat. . The same goes with the style of "therapy" (talking, more or less) they use. You don't neccessarily have to go into childhood stuff. Many contemporary therapies focus on "the here-and-now", as they call it. You may be interested in what's called "brief therapy" in that it's intentionally short - maybe 6 sessions?- whereby you develop a goal you'd like to achieve by the end. Also consider looking for a "solution-focussed" scenario - that is, not concentrating so much on what's wrong, but talking about what it will look like when it's right and working towards that. . If you'd like to find a registered psychologist as opposed to a counsellor you could try the Australian Psychological Society's website. It has a "find a psychologist" section where you could select what you're looking for, say, "sexual difficulties" and "couples therapy" along with your post code to list relevant professionals. You could also try Relationships Australia. I think their emphasis is more along the lines of mediation and couples considering separation but I'm sure they've heard it all, too. Note that Relationships Australia don't necessarily employ psychologists, but they employ experienced and qualified professionals in a related field, such as counselling-majors and social workers. . Of course, if you didn't have anything like that in mind (and it sounds like you may not!) then I have no idea where to look for the more crackpot, unregulated "therapists" who would watch you at it and give you tips. Sorry! . Anyway, all the best! Thank you, it took a fair few months to get over the stigma I felt, NEEDING help...! I didn't dare telling anyone about it... But as the months passed, I realised my ignorance around it, and just how worthwhile the process is?! Never too late to change ones view on things Oh another option for the OP is sex-based getaways - SEX CAMPS! They exist and everyone has sex in front of everyone, which i guess would be handy for tips lol! (no i have not gone)

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Thanks for your thoughtful post slippery_halo. While I may have sounded glib in my reply to the forum, I am really just seeking info about what a sex therapist (as opposed to a general psychologist or psychotherapist) talks about when you engage in relationship counselling specifically to do with sex...not to be confused with intimacy or love.. . Gomez and I have already been to a psychotherpist (separately and together...cheers Boobalicious) to deal with relationship issues. And while there weren't any major issues requiring change, the therapist was not able to help us effectively discuss the sex side of our relationship. . You see, it's easy to say it's all about communication. The bottom line is, men and women communicate differently. . For example, I may say to Gomez "We really need a date night this week". Gomez hears this as "she wants sex when I have so much work to do! Doesn't she realise how hard I am working for this family". Gomez may then reply "If you want to but I have so much work to do". . Clearly we are not on the same wave length when it comes to communication. Because our agenda's are different I think. Perhaps I am pushing a barrow up hill. I dunno. But in my opinion, sex is really important to confirm the love in a committed relationship.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Sex Camp. Any temporary problem I might have had today has apparently been cured by the words alone. :pHugsStalky

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Morticiaaa, I can understand what you are saying, and I am not 100% on this, but if you don't just stop at the one try and keep at it, I really do think you can find a 'therapist' that would help the two of you find that bridge to the same language. This maybe too fruity and i know very little about it so far, but fuck it sounded fascinating... SOOoo give the below a read and don’t think i am necessarily recommending it to you, but more wanting to show that there is SOOO much available that can help us understand ourselves better and to then enable us to understand our partners better.... I have only just had recent exposure (I met someone that i wanted to keep talking to 4ever over about all this, but my 1 hour of his paid time was already over 3 hours earlier opps... thank god he didn't charge for the rest – he is in Qld and that was my last day there bugger...). He is studying different areas of Holistic medicine, he has studied and done some cognitive reimprinting, trance hypnotherapy and just simply hypnotherapy to replace one habit for another anyhoo... what made me realise that these things may have benefit was the LOOOOOONG discussion we had about REALITY, and that is that every bodies reality is DIFFERENT, therefore there is not one true reality and as a result of that we all think different due to the way we perceive reality and what we have imprinted as experiences in our mind. The point here is that the two of you currently have a communication misalignment, if you found the appropriate therapist, they would be able to make you firstly understand why you think certain things, and do the same for your partner, find a way to make you both understand. And in some cases where there is some negative stuff hypnosis can help you find out where the negative or problematic thoughts first occurred and that in itself can be beneficial enough. Or if it is damaging, the memories can be changed to your new current reality. A lot of what we think is from when we were young and made assumptions because we were too young to understand everything at that time. Ie. Daddy was violent towards me because I was a bad boy that never did the right thing, i was worthless like he told me i was, so I am not good enough for my partner or anyone and I have to work harder to prove myself. This person could then be hypnotised to be taken back to when he first started thinking that he was this ‘bad, worthless boy’ our brains subconsciously REMEMBER EVERYTHING, so say little Johnny is asked questions when under hypnosis and the reality of that time was that the family was very poor, the family were always left wanting, his father was treated badly at work as there was very little work around at that time, so the only control the man had was over his little boy and unfortunately would take his life frustrations out on him. So this new information would then help Johnny think different about what had happened, understand it with an adult mind and be able to change his reality in all the ways of thinking he had had around that. I couldn’t help but add this to this forum, in the vague hope that someone might have some experiences in these areas??? I’d love to find people with experience to talk to about this J It is on my VERY LONG to do list hehe

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Bugger! I typed a reply and then clicked the wrong thing or something and it was eaten. :( Oh well, I'll try again.You're very welcome, Morticiaaa, I'm so glad my ranting was of some use to you as food-for-thought. You sound really dedicated to a good outcome so I'm very confident everything will go well for you and your partner. :) What I meant to say earlier is that there's a lot of recent research to suggest that the relationship between professional and client(s) is the most important part. Even moreso than things like theoretical orientations and qualifications, which you can discover with research, but whether you all get on well is something you can't tell until you give it a go. But I'd like to suggest that if after a few sessions you don't see much prospect of improvement and you don't feel particularly understood by the therapist, consider trying somebody new. I was seeing a psychologist in 2008 whose "school" of psychology didn't really work for me and neither was the speaking side of it very helpful for me. He even pulled out his laptop and showed me lecture slides from the subject he teaches at uni - twice. Eventually after not getting better after quite a few sessions and some time I asked him to refer me to someone he knew whose therapy style was more like what I said I was after, and he referred me to the lady I know see who is amazing. :).Boobalicious! Hello again. Yeah, the stigma is a huge issue. It's sad that folks keep suffering instead of doing something about it just because of it. I'm glad I overcame it in 2005 and gradually even more since then. Now counselling is just a normal part of what I do and I recommend it for everyone. I talk about it and forget that a lot of others don't consider it normal when they start looking at me funny. ;)

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