M55
Sugar Dating
December 02 2017
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
Ive seen it...... via a wealthy friend In that case it wasn't so much her poly life.... but the lifeSTYLE she was seeking.... and was prepared to milk people to attain it. Not saying thats the case here, but it would seem to be the case often under SD arrangements. Emotional attachment, is a different thing altogether. If you're prepared to sugar date and support her, and she's prepared to accept that from you and others, then you should also be prepared to tell her that you want her to yourself for standard dating........ .... or accept that she will walk away. Time to have the talk. DG
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RHP User
8 years ago
providing the sugar? And why is sugar necessary? I would like more information to properly assess this 😯 I assume she is married or attached and you're the poly add in? Please excuse my terminologies, but hard to answer without more information. Even her age might be relevant, I stress might. Can you expand a bit on what you've told us?
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RHP User
8 years ago
is it a proper poly deal where you've met and/or played with her partner present, with his approval/endorsement basically. I ask that question because sugar dating can affect families when money is being drained elsewhere. I therefore think it's a valid question
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RHP User
8 years ago
Sorry, need to wait for your answer first re who is providing the sugar
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RHP User
8 years ago
She is certainly not milking me, I pay her much less than I would for an escort service. When we are together, we live fairly basic. Not as extravagant as my every day life. I do support her as best as I can. Is it unreasonable to ask for exclusivity? We agreed this would be an arrangement and she did say "don't fall in love with me".......but alas, I have. Sex is great, but not awesome. I think it's because she holds back. I want to make love, where she is still in "purely sex" stage. I think this is a big issue for me as well. Thoughts? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Why should she give you full time exclusivity when you're not prepared to be her full time sugar Daddy? Or are you?
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RHP User
8 years ago
She's protected herself. Smart!
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RHP User
8 years ago
That was a typo. What I meant was, that she is protecting herself.
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RHP User
8 years ago
😯 forgive me I'm just in a silly mood 😀 Super sleuth I_touch is trying to figure this out lol Bottom line is she is taking financial support from you, and you're giving her much more than that, your love/your heart/hence better sex and intimacy IMO as you say, and in return, she gives you what? Half hearted sex leaving you wanting more. How does that make you feel? It would make me feel used quite frankly. I think you already know the answer. Sharing is good though, does help to talk it out and work through your emotions. You love her, she doesn't love you. Hard to hear but that's how it sounds?
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RHP User
8 years ago
I just googled definition, sorry, so you're not happy with her having other partners. Sounds like you want a relationship with her, but she doesn't with you. Women will tell you if they have feelings for you. They aren't afraid of commitment the way men are 😇 Her telling you not to fall in love isn't cryptic, she's making it clear she just wants sex and money lol Cut the sugar off and see if she hangs around. I bet she's fleecing quite a few
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RHP User
8 years ago
the sex is half hearted, my guess is she's having sex with you for the sugar
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Katkat
8 years ago
Sex is so great/amazing that u guys are compatible in so many ways and of course if you’re constantly seeing her yes you will feel some kind of attachment or feelings for her which is normal some guys are open about it or some will hide their feelings. From my experience I did have a FWB toyboy he was much younger than I was 36, he was 24 great compatibility we were on the same page all the time everything I wanted from a guy except his immaturity. Needless to say it ended we both ended it coz I just felt it will never be but yeah wouldn’t mind seeing him again in the future if he’s single again what can I say he’s a great pussy eater & knows how to handle me and knows my spots haha. But yeah he will always have that special spot on my heart that fuckwit fucker. Till I meet the right person again in the future who will take over that special spot. - Posted from rhpmobile
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EarthQueen
8 years ago
If you are only spending this amount of time together and she has made it clear from the start what she wants, non-monogamous, I don’t think it’s fair to expect her to make it exclusive. This is the risk of this type of arrangement. That you will develop feelings that aren’t reciprocated. The unequal power balance from which it started may always create issues for moving forward into something more meaningful? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
More detail; I am mid forties and single (seperated) She is 30 and single, My support for her is exclusive and I do support her in many ways. It's poly because she likes to date other guys. Mainly just one nighters. - Posted from rhpmobile
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teejaylongsword
8 years ago
It's hard when the love thing happens. I think the lovely 'I touch' was right. She probably doesn't love you. She does really like you though and probably enjoys sex with you. She is happy to be intimate with you and that is still precious. I bet you have some great intimate chats and some good laughs. You two have an arrangement. You both know and accept how it works. Don't feel bad that you two feel differently about each other and enjoy it while it lasts. She is a free spirit and remind yourself that you can never (nor would you want to) own anyone. Things are always changing anyway. Even a couple who say they are in love can one day realise that they don't. In some ways, your relationship is clearer than this. If you can get into the right frame of mind (even though you feel love for her), you can enjoy the beauty of it all and appreciate it as something that is exciting and warm yet delicate and impermanent. Enjoy the moments and live those moments in the present. I did the Sugar Daddy thing once (although back then I didn't know it was called that (I was helping her out with a little money and she was helping me out.) For this to work in the short term we were at least friends. I felt more for her than she did for me, but we still enjoyed ourselves. But as a long term thing, it was doomed. All it took was for her to find a 'better deal'. Perhaps it was a better body, perhaps it was more money, perhaps it was just something new. Its hard to say but if she loved me she would have stuck around. Having said that, I'm still glad I had those experiences. So protect yourself a bit and see this reality. She doesn't want exclusivity. She may well still be a great person so just enjoy her company as a friend. You don't need to deny your feelings but be realistic at the same time. Talk to her but don't scare her off by being too full on. At the same time, keep your eyes open to new experiences if you need a more standard relationship.
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Seachange73
8 years ago
'We agreed this would be an arrangement and she did say "don't fall in love with me".......but alas, I Sex is great, but not awesome. I think it's because she holds back. I want to make love, where she is still in "purely sex" stage. I think this is a big issue for me as well.' Unfortunately you are developing feelings for her and this goes against the premise of your arrangement of purely physical /sexual nature of your relationship and the financial support you both agreed upon. Not sure why she would consent to exclusivity as she gets what she wants and you were willing to give it as it stands. Asking her for exclusivity would mean a whole set of rules for both and be like a relationship. Much like being her on-call mistress? Quite common in Europe (specially in France) and possible if she's not wanting to see other men. Is she dependent on you for her living expenses like housing and utilities?
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'fantasy1971' She is certainly not milking me, I pay her much less than I would for an escort service. If money is trading hands or pocketbooks more appropriately, then are you really a sugar date candidate or as you have said just using an alternative service? You do after all...get what you pay for? Sure a few lavish nights out, a few nice gifts or even a weekend runaway together to a great destination is not out of the question. Note the buzz word is a few and only if done in sincerity and not by way of compensation. FYI ... I don't know of any escort service workers or even high end hookers that are into exclusivity. They are there for the bottom line profits! Good luck. CM who is cynically dubious!.
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RHP User
8 years ago
This just another term for prostitution or escort service. However which way you look at it there's an exchange of money or goods in return for sexual activity. You can't seriously expect a relationship to work when one party is only in it to gouge money out of you. Whatever you do don't cohabit for too long or she'll have half of what you've got and take you to the cleaners. Wonder how many blokes are on the receiving end of a sugar dating relationship? Not many I'm sure. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
It happens frequently and does with a few subs I've known. Now I know to set expectation up front but if they come too close I have to let them go. I suspect yours will do the same but it may be a good thing as they will unlikely give up their polygamy for you. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'nghty_embraces2'Wonder how many blokes are on the receiving end of a sugar dating relationship? Not many I'm sure. ...there's a reason why I leave a portable EFTPOS terminal beside my bed? I do my best work for food however a ''tip'' is a good substitute! They say ''Money can't buy you love''...you can, however, rent it! CM who is still planning for his eventual retirement!
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RHP User
8 years ago
Get a girl friend you don’t have to pay to like you.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I believe it rhymes with substitution.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Talk to her :) You established your initial terms of the arrangement and that worked for a time. If you'd like to change these terms, you'll need to discuss a way to do it that benefits you both. You both have needs, so if you're expecting her to give more, it's only fair for you to give more too ;) Of course, it may be your preference to not be involved with someone if there's such difference in feeling, but that's part of the beauty of sugar dating- you get to define your own terms :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
my advice for you would be to wean yourself from your SB, and put your time and money into yourself a while...as you met with an agreement for an arrangement; blurring the boundaries compromises your emotions and makes you vulnerableyou sound like you would be more suited to a relationship now and may have moved past the 'convenience' stagefall for someone who values you first and foremost as a person, not your wallet firstbest wishes x
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