F50
Terminally Bored
August 22 2017
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
Get your ass back to Melbourne... not that I am biased... but I think you are fabulous.
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RHP User
8 years ago
But there are other attractions...
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RHP User
8 years ago
I do prefer a little intelligent and intellectual interaction along with any sexual connection. It spices up the flirting and makes the whole experience a little more rounded and fulfilling.
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RHP User
8 years ago
i think you are just changing...that'a all...:)what had excited you in the past, no longer does the same way...you are hoping for something "Special"...but the special thing rarely comes...:) when we first started to dip our toes into swinging, it was all super exciting...even just watching others fuck at parties was a WOW! experience...now , unless there is some wicked mental connection, i'd rather not even go there, as half of the time i would have had a better experience with my vibrator, with no awkward moments afterwords.... half of the time it's like anticipating something special...like a huge party with a 5 course meal...live music and a night of dancing and cocktails...something you go get your hair done for...buy a new dress and touch up on your fake tan...lolonly to find the food is crap...there's no band...and everyone is wearing shorts and thongs
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RHP User
8 years ago
Early menopause? Just a suggestion. Pusscat xxx
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RHP User
8 years ago
...an amazing and complex woman with a post that could potentially be the source of yet another thesis. Like I need to write another one, no thanks I'm fine working with what's on my plate albeit I wish that I had been graced with the opportunity to meet you prior to the move. Oh well, I'll take a shot at this even if it means going to the air again and taking a load of guff from the popcorn-eating United Republic of RHP. This is just speculative but doubt that you are ''broken'' or in need of warranty repairs other than a good thorough lube, tune up and intelligent conversation. You are a rarity amongst the masses and that will either generate those with false intentions or a barrage of negativity that comes via a lack of self-confidence or retrospective condemnation. Fear of anything is defined as a lack of faith in simplistic terms and I would doubt for a moment that really would be you. Have faith in who you are, what you have accomplished and where you are going. You're on an amazing journey. Fear? Hellya point the nose of an F-14 180 degrees vertical and when everything goes sideways and the lights are flashing just whisper ''I meant to do that'' then roll back on the throttle and get back to the altitude of attitude. It sounds to me as though you ''want it all'' and why wouldn't you? Believe in yourself and in the interim, I'll put my hand up and tell you I believe in you. That's only a loan and jearzus wait until you pay it back and find out about all the interest! You rock and I have to roll. Pity you're only a 11/10 or I'd probably try to make a pass at your gorgeous ass yet again! Best always......CM
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RHP User
8 years ago
I know your post was directed to other women OP but I would like to chuck my two cents in as I feel the same as you. Getting back into the dating scene years ago after a lengthy ''vanilla'' relationship, I decided to adopt a ''no stone unturned'' attitude toward sex. I pretty much wanted to try it all, and I pretty much have, explored my bi side to its' full extent as I have always wanted to do. Have done some amazing things, had mind-blowing times for a good couple of years. About 6 months ago I noticed much the same as you, an apathy crept in. I found myself either ignoring flirts and messages, or messaging them a ''no thanks'', just looking at their profiles it/they would have to be particularly amazing to even raise the slightest interest. I'm 47 and not getting any younger, firmly believe in ''make hay while the sun shines'', but I just cannot bring myself to go on some random encounter where you are essentially just getting off, akin to rutting. I don't have a regular FB, male or female, and I suppose if I did I would probably form some kind of emotional bond and the sex would be more meaningful. But I don't know that I want anything to go that far either - confusing or what? I don't think I'm broken, and I don't think you are either, I think I have just made a bit of hay and am now just kicking back in the shade having a bit of a rest. Is it possible to have too much of a good thing? I think it is.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Nailed it for me. Condolences on the move. I'm understanding where your at and 40 is way to early to burn out, there's a lot more to an exciting life than sex even really good sex, but it helps !The thing is when you make those really great connections too often one or tother isn't happy with FWB and gets all possessive and proprietary and down the tubes it goes, personally I think our attitudes and values towards "relationships" still has a long ways to evolve, its complex as no doubt you know. Hang in there, when you find a good one make sure the communication channels are wide open and you may just get it all.Good Luck.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Try giving it a rest for a while. I do think you can have to much of a good thing. May still be ok. But can stop being exciting and special. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Sawadee
8 years ago
...too much indulgence and it starts to become ordinary. I think we all reach a time in our life when we start to question what the fucks going on.. The what am I doing and where am I heading i think is quite normal and just another stage of life .. For me ' it's more about quality before quantity these days..
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MsJonesy
8 years ago
And many people (regardless of attachment status or age) suffer the same. That won't change in a hurry....because your mind set may need to change first. I had a peek at your profile, and the following caught my attention: "Connection is sexy. Anyone can fuck, some even well but I require a little more connection than just, "You'll do." Personally, I find nothing more enrapturing than a man who desperately wants to out run his soul in my body." Fantastic writing by the way! But....(you all knew there was a 'but') it is buried in a papragraph. If that is what you truly seek, then own it, and make it your opening statement in the I Am Looking For section. In fact, it could be the only thing in that section! My reasoning is based on my own experiences. The longer we are on sites, the more specific our wants become. Yet we rarely state them in plain speak, in unambiguous statements. If you want it, speak it plainly, and often. Then ensure your mind set matches. Don't reply to messages where the message nor the profile are not potentially an excellent match. Actively search for what you seek; you are a guest, how on earth are you going to find what you want without seeking it yourself - and approaching it?! If cynicism sets in, delete pics, delete profile content and have a period in the wilderness of the shadowy profile. That in itself will bring reality front and centre.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'MsJonesy'"Connection is sexy. Anyone can fuck, some even well but I require a little more connection than just, "You'll do." Personally, I find nothing more enrapturing than a man who desperately wants to out run his soul in my body." Fantastic writing by the way! But....(you all knew there was a 'but') it is buried in a paragraph. If that is what you truly seek, then own it, and make it your opening statement in the I Am Looking For section. In fact, it could be the only thing in that section! If cynicism sets in, delete pics, delete profile content and have a period in the wilderness of the shadowy profile. That in itself will bring reality front and centre. ...the rarity of sincerity really does happen to matter! Yes ma'am indeed...and you know that I am a true fan of what you you write and for jearzus sake let me near that body! One of the several reasons I rolled back to a ''guest'' profile status and don't regret it. In a distant time and place many light years ago when I was really Yoda, I ran under the handle of ''SirNic''. They is either gonna love ya', like ya' or leave ya'...and the bottom line is who gives a ratz as I only have time to invest in the number one priority. Love has a lot of scope and space...the rest don't matter. Please forgive the ''Hill William'' speak but I think you understand. There are only two types of people on this (or any other) and those sites that are those I truly would make an investment in and those that are cannon fodder. Pack powder tight up they asses and light a match! *waves the flag of the RHP rebellion* Fuck 'em if they can take a joke and come up smiling and de-fuck them if they just don't seem to understand! Best ladies....... CM Question? ...Why do folks say ''fuck you'' when it's that's not a bad outcome? I say go get ''de-fucked'' and walk away laughing!
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RHP User
8 years ago
Yes, what you said 👍
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RHP User
8 years ago
what jonesy said 😀 very agreeable tonight aren't I?
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RHP User
8 years ago
Climbed out of the candy shop. However along the climb out, perhaps you got ruined by a paticular penis that stood out in a way, that it is seemingly impossible to lower the bar. I'm hearing you, though should we take that leap of faith, back to the candy shop? It was frivoulous fun afterall, however empty. 🌻🌻 Goodluck - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
You won't get any backlash from me nor any suggestions it may be menopause. I've been the kid in the candy shop myself in the past. I've lost count how may encounters I have had over the last 18 months or so. Call it my experimental stage. Throughout that time, I have worked out what it is I enjoy, want and need sexually. While it is empowering personally, it makes it a little more difficult when trying to find that ephemeral 'it'. I'm no longer after the smorgasbord or 'all you can eat' buffet. I'm enjoying the quality - whether home cooked goodness or 3 star Michelin fare. (yes I know I'm continuing the food metaphor) It isn't being too fussy or not being an ethical slut to not want to fuck everything that moves. It's just knowing what you want and how you want it to be. I say be true to yourself and not what others expect you to be. Love and health to you KH x
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RHP User
8 years ago
I feel the same way with meets at times. Not sure why either as like you, i love to have sex. I was wondering if it was an age thing too but hubby thinks i should be coming up to my sexual peak. Who knows.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Thank you to everyone who has posted, I really got something out of most of them, thank you. 💗 No early menopause - women in my family don't start till their 60's. 😘
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RHP User
8 years ago
op the average age for menopause is 51, I started at 52 or almost 53, last summer I think, and I think I'm done/finished already, the strangest thing, have to be the quickest menopause in history lol but I was curious after reading your comment, did a google on late onset menopause. Have you done that? If not, you need to, there are some increased risks of breast and ovarian cancer, other stuff too, because of the increased estrogen levels over the extended period of time. It is not uncommon with obese women, but some women also have unusually high estrogen throughout their life, late pregnancy can also delay menopause, and family history as you said, which may affect when you start. But worth a read. Knowledge is power as they say. There are some benefits as well so some good news in there but be careful not to ignore the potential risks, regular checks and all that. Way off topic, sorry but had to post a comment about it for the benefit of women reading the forum
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RHP User
8 years ago
...you're beautiful inside and out. I'd try on both if given the chance? CM....
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Hawt1
8 years ago
Only as no one has posted anything about this... but the thyroid, if it is out of whack can have the effect of loss of libido. Not sure if this suits your predicament or not. But might be worth your while checking it out. I know a person who it seems became a nonsexual person from this. If it is a psychological thing... you could try a holiday, somewhere off the beaten track. Some times seeing how the other half lives puts everything into a better perspective. Hey good luck in your pursuit of happiness and good health to you.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Just like when you go to work and think - wow this is pretty mundane, it's not a career change you seek, but a new exciting stimulating job! I think you need more mental stimulation and the current situation/s is just not stimulating or challenging you. Thanks Aa
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EarthQueen
8 years ago
I wrote something similar in SWB a week ago. Had some good advice there as well as what's above. The post is there if you want to read it. I think it's easy to get a bit burnt out on here especially if you are single. Maybe just have a break for a while and recharge your batteries. The reality with meeting is that no matter how much expectation and anticipation you hold for someone it doesn't always work out how you may have imagined . That can get disheartening. It's only natural. You aren't broken just a few hairline cracks XX - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mask_007
8 years ago
That is something just you are able to work it out, sometimes is very hard but is possible. Have a good think about what are you looking for in your life. Keep in mind that necessities, priorities, what does attract and stimulate you, all.of that chang if life. But the key is try to identifye what did change, if you like it how to deal with the change. All the best, I am happy to chat if you are interested. Mark - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
and no backlash here. All those reasons you mention above are why we are still "inexperienced". I do not see intimacy that way, too. Life is not only about the bucket. Request needs to be not too intimidating to accept but too appealing to refuse. One click is not enough to give a moment...or take People meet, they are curious about each other and then the fascination wears off as they realise nothing will ever come of it or because they fear of any attachment, emotional unavailability ... so everything slips into that dreamworld where we forget. But the truth is, no one we meet is ever truly forgotten. This is what all this is about. When we meet someone, no matter how short lived the moment is, it stays forever. It may fade away, but it is always present wherever we go. I hope you find your way out. Perhaps it is just a temporary fatigue.(Ms)
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Seachange73
8 years ago
Op and okeydokey. Im in the same boat atm and hence I have decided to have minibreaks from Rhp, both from dating and the forum as both just doesn't work much for me atm. Work has taken me away too but mainly just not as enthusiastic at meeting new men at the moment, specially those that don't make an effort. I get you, my dear friend. when I decide to peek in occasionally, i test the waters in my interest level. most of the time, it's same old same old on the dating and forum, so I can't be bothered and leave it. Having a break from anything regular is essential as it gives you time to focus on other pursuits in your life worth chasing and lends a different perspective or 'Fresh eyes'. As they say. I'm happy to have my regular fwbs. Great thing with fwbs is that we are really friends. Drinks/ coffee out and dinners or checking out live music or cultural events in the city are fun. Because my lovers are interesting men of various ages and backgrounds, they bring something new and different to a meet each time and conversation just flows when we chat about their interests and current events. I'm happy with the situation atm. I hope you find your mojo back. Come to old Melbourne for the meet and greet. October is great fun with all the spring festivities and events happening. Take care.
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Supernova
8 years ago
I could imagine being a female in today's world of social media and online dating, there are simply so many men available to you that its becoming bland, boring and routine. Imagine if you had to message 100s of men just to get one single reply? And then, you had to work on that one reply for weeks on end, spending hours huddled over a phone trying to convince this guy to just meet you for an hour or so to 'see if you are worthy'. If, then, you actually got this guy to agree to sleep with you...WOW!!!!! What an amazing sense of accomplishment, excitement, and pride! I rarely go to "all you can eat buffet" style restaurants, so when I do, its exciting! "Look at all this food!" However, if I ate at one every night, I'm sure the regularity would decrease the sense of enjoyment..."Ive tasted all this stuff before...meh." maybe take a break until you find your really craving something, rather than just routinely 'sifting through the trash'.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Thats unfair. Yes the women on here get a lot of messages, but most of them ( and Ive talked to a few Perth women and heard it from comments from other ladies on the forums) are from guys you most definitely wouldnt want to meet. A message like this for example. "I want to destroy your pussy, hit me up".. Yep, thats it. The articulate and respectful guys on here are far outnumbered by the guys who think its a free hook up site. So out of say, 20 messages, youll get one nice one. And most of the women on RHP, contrary to popular belief, arent happy just to shag any Tom, Harry or Dick who messages them with a crude one liner.Yes, I know there are a lot of good guys on here but the number of "chancers" is much higher. And if you had to spend weeks on end trying to persuade someone to meet you for an hour just to see if there was any kind of connection, you were pretty unlucky. Id imagine the attention on here would get to some people and give them some sense of false empowerment. Theres no need for those kind of games.Most ( not all) women on RHP are looking for more than NSA sex, and why shouldnt they be. Ongoing FWB is a great situation, and can lead to other things if its what they both want. Intimacy and friendship is far better than a quick one off root where, to quote Annie they get up, wipe their dicks on the curtains and go.
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RHP User
8 years ago
False sense of empowerment!
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RHP User
8 years ago
Everyone goes through different phases. Sometimes you just need to peruse something different. More of a connection perhaps? I think most ppl go thru a slut phase and then you start to crave something more. So you find someone to commit to. Break up, have another wild slut phase, and on and on it goes. Some people stay in a phase for years, others not so long. I wouldn't worry about it. You just need to find that "thing" that will excited you again. Whatever that may be. I got bored of chocolate once. True story. :P
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RHP User
8 years ago
Don't mind a bit of rutting. It has an edginess to it. Every now and then.
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RHP User
8 years ago
There was a saying from wartime about soldiers' experiences, especially in the Pacific. They said their life was 95% boredom and frustration intersected by moments of sheer terror. In peacetime, especially those of us who are single, you could say it is 95% of similar but intersected by moments of sheer happiness and bliss. Sometimes, even when we have the person that gives us our blissful situations, the ride can be a rollercoaster rather than smooth sailing. But in general, we have to work out how to manage the emotions during the great majority of our time which can wear us down. We spend so much time and effort looking for things which we have no idea when or if they will occur, or for how long they will last if found, and if they don't, then it's back to the drawing board and the cycle repeats. Even just to satisfy hormones, I know I could go to playing parties every weekend if I wished, and accept any offer even if I don't have a high level of interest in the other person as they deserve except sexual. In my first year on here after I had discovered parties, I did have a "don't say no" attitude, and averaged some sort of play every two weeks, even three times in one particular week. But as well as being hugely expensive (entry costs plus travel etc) keeping a regular sex life, it didn't really help with core desires of mutual ongoing attachment/s. However, I have still not actually regretted anything or anyone, as I have gained much learning about life and relationship experience, social, conversational and interpersonal skills that are all essential to make it work in a relationship, or to start one. I do my best to manage the majority of life by simple easily achievable things that keep you in the moment, small actions like a walk by the lake, movies, books etc. My dog is the biggest help, I can't imagine life without him. Psychologists call it mindfulness. But it's only partially successful. Sometimes I think I need a break from regular thoughts, interests and desires, and the general processes involved in day to day life, and go volunteer in a third world country or something to put my own issues or anxiety around them in perspective. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Try tractor driving.
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RHP User
8 years ago
You were spot on. It seems I've had under active thyroid issues and my adrenals are outof whack with cortisol levels swinging all over the place (which also explains recent weight gain). I didn't think the issue was a physical one, turns out I was wrong. Thank you to all who posted.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Great that you have a handle on it, speedy recovery as they say, look forward to seeing one of your excellent topics soon.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Totally understand and perfectly normal. Been in those heels a few times (both of us). There is an intrinsic issue with meeting online. The "chsllenge" or the "hunt" and the 'process' is forgone. If a part of your identity hungers for validation through your sexuality, then you give that up as you send your first wink or message. It's an overt gesture that in the real work would have been far more subtle, in your tone, the scent, in your pitch, the discreet glance, eye contact. Same challenge with clubs (though we will be at darq next week). Personally (Mr) I would suggest the best way to find what you seek is not to look for it. But put yourself around likeminded people so that when the teacher appears, you will be ready. Instead, find yourself at an outdoor sculpture exhibition, or debating the score on a new eatery, or travelling to a hidden beach in the national park. Enriched by experience, with more to talk about than sex. Though that comes up in conversation a fair bit in our conversations while looking at sculpture. As the mrs always says, grab my brain and you can grab my ass. Of course, with a glass of Chardonnay that too can be negotiated (with her not me!?). Anyway, that's just an opinion. Maybe it's just where you live. Everyone knows Sydney is where the action is. The exact address is.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Fantastic topic, OP! 😉 I'm going to offer different perspectives just to put it out there for discussion and consideration. There's a New Age-y theory that everytime we have sex with someone, whether we want to or not (especially if it's merely a hookup or a casual liaison), a soul tie is established and our energy/vibration gets affected somewhat. As we proceed, we "lose" more and more of ourselves, in a spiritual sense. Granted, not everyone is spiritually aware so this theory is often subject to a lot of sneering and rejection. Another reason could be that if we have experienced true intimacy before, and by that I mean not just physical and sexual intimacy but emotional and intellectual intimacy as well, when we then end up with a string of purely sexual or pretty shallow and superficial liaisons, eventually, we will end up yearning for the "gold standard" of holistic intimacy once more. Unfortunately, we are in an age of great change and upheavals to old traditions, social structures, relationship moulds, etc. Established norms are increasingly being challenged and broken. Perhaps we are starting to discover that sexual liberation may not be all that it is hyped up to be? The increasing disconnect between the Mind-Body-Heart-Spirit (Soul) makes us realise that sex that does not engage the Mind, Heart and Soul, is merely gratifying the Body but it all feels deficient and leaves much to be desired. OP, I think my woo woo comments have a higher chance of attracting scathing criticisms and nasty remarks than yours! LOL! But it won't affect me, fortunately. 😉 I'm on a spiritual adventure atm and believe that Light is the new black, etc etc. 😊 I'm working on making sure the sex chakra doesn't run too far ahead of the Heart chakra and the mind chakra! Hehe! Remember that '80s song, "Everytime you go away, you take a piece of me with you"? Maybe we have become really sophisticated with our ideas, concepts and lifestyle choices but maybe, just maybe, we cannot change a genetically hardwired desire for complete intimacy without experiencing some sort of soul emptiness / desolation? If one has relished premium coffee expertly prepared by a barista, will a diluted cheap cuppa brown liquid at a convenience store's vending machine ever suffice? PS. I was going to bring up epigenes and how eventually, the younger generations might find it easier to bypass this disconnect but then realised that epigenes might not be able to override the essential blueprint that defines humans, that being the existence of the Mind-Body-Spirit-Heart components.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Brilliant. And who doesn't love the 80s? - Posted from rhpmobile
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EarthQueen
8 years ago
Nailed it as always. Love your work. Rebecca Campbell is a great teacher/author
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RHP User
8 years ago
The intertnet gives us no challenge this day and age in meeting men its all to easy..and that can be boring . - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I dont think its apathy. I think it's more you end up looking for quality not quantity. Lets face it having a good time is all good and well but if quality isn't in the mix it does get boring. I've been on these sites various for 5 years. Met a few nice fellas that had the zing factor sadly due to various reasons. We have all gone our separate ways. The amount of fellows who reckon they are going to cook my goose are on an ever expanding list. Im now on the look out for someone to be comfy with get to know which buttons to push. Not just a quick roll in the hay. Enjoy being you and doing things you like. Yes get a mandatory health check you may be having a few changes in the hormone dept. Sadly something we as women have to deal with. I'm enjoying being with family and remodeling my garden. Yes I check the sites I'm on once a day but if there is no interest I'm not to worried about it. Waiting for the zing factor 😁 Cheers and good luck 😎 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I know I'm not broken, just tired of striking up conversations that lead straight to sex chatting. When I'm in the mood it's great but sometimes you just want a normal conversation. I want to connect with the people i share my body with. Sometimes the monotony of it all makes you just want to give up and then your urges come back and you succumbs to the chat/encounter again. Although these short term fixes are ok at the time, overall I'm left feeling mentally unfulfilled which leads me to want to give up again. I need to get off the roundabout lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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sugarcoated
8 years ago
To well boredom, over cautious people, same thing over, over and over. It has left me in a state of bewilderment and dazed. You need to go back to Melbourne and get out of that rut you have gotten yourself in. As for me a cannot wait to get back to the city next month and just let it and the people consume me, in a good way of cause. 😁 - Posted from rhpmobile
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Culturedanimal
8 years ago
Two ways to go. Rather than looking for your pleasure look to put your partner/s brain into the "oh wow" area and then run with I DID that. Or take a fwb, fuck budy whatever and DO things together. And not just sexual, go ride a bike a long way, go camping. Something that requires effort and concentration to achieve. Went through the same feelings a while ago and that's what worked for me. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I have read your post several times and I do understand some of what you are saying. The funniest thing is that it comes from arrogance. You seem to have the world at your feet. Being a male on a site like this is you take every morsel you are offered as you get very little. It seems many are focused on a pic or a profile to find a click or even love. This is so single dimensional that begs belief that you write your post. This so called "social media" isn't very social so maybe you should jump into old fashion dating. I have read a bit and the Jewish culture have match makers. They see that love as a whimsical emotion and is useless in building relationships. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Try a little one on one with a guy were you are only fucking him make a promise to only fuck him if he and you can keep the sex exciting and stimulating for both of you .im not saying get into a relationship just two people that love full on exciting sex .i have done this and it was great lots of bondage out door sex .sex in front of ather people etc but only with each ather .just a thought - Posted from rhpmobile
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MissRedFox
8 years ago
And wonder if it's too much to ask to find someone who smiles at my smile when I see them, wants to flirt and build the tension at dinner or at a film, spend hours exploring in the bedroom, and talking and cuddling. The joy of thinking you've found someone only to be face the buts....neither can host, too far, too busy, just disappearing into the wilderness only to randomly return once long forgotten. I'm the type who prefers ongoing - I want to grow and explore- each new person is like starting over at the basics and I want to progress to the advanced levels. Sighs and returns to sorting the inbox full of "hi how are you" XX - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
But you still 40
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RHP User
8 years ago
Boredom is not having anything to do. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting things to change..... Look at the pattern... Then ask yourself what you truly want.... Figure out the pattern or the type that you are attracted to and what goes wrong..... Another factor is dating online. The sense of anonymity and the sense that relationship and connection is completely disposable with people because we spend more time on the screen than interacting naturally. We have deluded idea of what things should be like and our engagements are shallow..... All comes down to introspection and working out what brings you joy and what doesn't....... Follow the heart, not the ego. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
its all too easy! , well i know i can be a bit stand back , an not jump to quickly.. but either cause i don't show chiseled ab's an don't talk the bulls..t , must mean i miss out ! cause aint happen easy over here for me..hahaI aint complaining either by the way! :) just saying... must be easy for the hot! snags that just end up playing for a little bit , get what they want then move on too the next lady... maybe i need to turn on the bullshit a meter a bit more lol!!!???
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RHP User
8 years ago
Naaaaaailed it!!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Why do you think there seems to be an emerging trend where most men seemingly can't be bothered to put their best feet forward and follow-up on apparently promising dates? Why is there a lack of perseverance and no motivation in taking something further? It's a new social issue possibly caused by the new sexual liberation of women, an unpleasant collateral damage of sorts. As long as apps and sites exist that enable and empower men to bed a different woman every day of the week or more if they desire, and it's freely available, can you then blame the men for wanting to have their red, hot pie and eat it too? And if things get a bit too "heavy"/"serious", or they start to feel suffocated by the woman's "expectations" or "demands" or issues crop up that require them to roll up their sleeves and actually attempt to communicate beyond grunts and moans, the guys bail out, and before the woman even realises what's happening, the man whips out his trusty mobile, swipes, and his next easy lay for the night is settled. I know some women will sound a battle cry at what I've just written, but sociologists and psychologists have been addressing this new phenomenon that's changed relationships and altered a lot of norms. We are on a new frontier. It's uncharted territory. But basically it's this - we can't not put in the hard yards and expect to reap a bounty. From another angle, we can't give things away so freely and then suddenly turn around and expect someone to suddenly pay a price for what they àre used to enjoying for free. It's basic, intrinsic, raw human nature at work. I'm on this site myself so I'm not being judgemental because I'm guilty as charged myself to a certain degree. Sometimes, it's us women shooting ourselves on the foot - if we show people that it's alright to come into our restaurant and help themselves to the smorgasbond, would they then still patronise you if you suddenly decide, "OK, I've had enough! I now want to attract the fine dining crowd"? A lot of men have made themselves heard via the various threads here and like it or not, they've made their opinions known - most would not treat a woman they meet on a "sex site" seriously. Not all, but too many have that disturbing mindset. Which then throws the ball back into our courts - do we protest, insult, and criticise them into silence (but it will not change a thing in the attitude), or do we listen to what's been said and even though we hate it and disagree with it, we recognise that that's what the game rules are and then start to strategise and think about how we can change the game and turn things around. The fact that there are now women and men who are reeling from the absurd shallowness of the modern day encounters and liaisons mean that soon, the growing disenchantment will gather enough momentum to spur new trends. Love is fundamental to our lives and too many pirated versions of "love" have corrupted our society. Our souls and spirits yearn for something more, especially those of us who are spiritually aware or highly sensitive souls, or "light" people. Being loud, boorish and aggressive does not drown out the soul's simple desire to love and be loved, to relate to and to feel kinship and acceptance, to matter to loved ones and to have loved ones matter to us, to attract people we think are attractive and to have them attracted to us too, to be able to "clique" with those we like... Maybe someday soon, mass disgruntlement, dissatisfaction and disengagement will trigger a return to the fundamentals. Things go in circles, and history always proves that what's "in" or popular today will be scoffed at or mocked tomorrow. It's great that people are wanting more, seeking more. Maybe that's the beginning of a faint pulse for a new trend - a return to meaningful relationships. 😉😊
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RHP User
8 years ago
Who just wrote a loooooong essay?! *rolls eyes. LOL! 🤣🤣🤣
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RHP User
8 years ago
Some good points in there 👍 currently frustrated men see me as a sexual object but can't see beyond that. I'm not so certain it's online that is the problem, well maybe it is in an indirect way because of freely available quick sex, and yes guilty as charged here also 😉 but I have men, of all ages, looking at me lustfully when out in public, today I was assessing that attention and asked myself the question, would they want to give me any more of themselves, other than a good fucking? Not knocking that, I want that too, but would any even have a fleeting thought of having me as their partner, their number 1? I doubt that. I don't think men see beyond the instant gratification, where I look at them and think, how great would it be to sit beside them in a car, walk beside them, lots of sex of course and fantasies but also fantasise about being with them in life. The venus and mars thing I suspect 😳
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RHP User
8 years ago
Don't worry, it was a good read 😉
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RHP User
8 years ago
At least you have memories to get you through the night.Be thankful, many of us are doing it much harder (sexually).
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RHP User
8 years ago
Thanks...I never know when I get a blitzkrieg in here! 🤣 I read a very interesting article that appeared in a UK newspaper recently addressing the issue of why fewer and fewer men are into marriage. Apparently, there are lots of young women there who want the whole marriage, kids and white picket fence thing, but the fish aren't biting. Lol! 😛 The writer / journalist came to the conclusion that men have been treated so badly for so long that they are starting to question why they should sign up for a union with a potentially volatile female who would refuse to keep to her end of the bargain in a partnership and then in the eventuality of a bitter divorce, they not only stand to lose a lot of what they have worked so hard for, they also end up emotionally traumatised for life. The men don't need first hand experience to learn about how the rug can be cruelly pulled from their feet... they just watch and listen to their mates, or see how their own fathers were treated, and the lessons get imprinted in their lives. I'm not playing judge or taking sides, but if one sees things objectively, too many men are being abused, bullied, mistreated, and financially wrecked by conniving bitches or women who can't get their act in order and end up projecting their anger or bitterness on everyone else. The law protects women, who used to be helpless but these days, some women are opportunists and vultures and not entirely weak and helpless! 😛 Of course, there are nasty men too, but women are so vocal that we've probably already heard it all. 😜 As a once-foreigner who eventually naturalized after more than a decade here, one observation I've made is that whilst there are SNAGs and emotionally strong and very communicative guys here (I suspect that they might have been brought up well by strong, single mums who infused those traits in them, go Sistas!), there are lots more who avoid dealing with emotions because it ain't "macho". 😛 Maybe the obsession with sports and the strong and rugged men's man ideal has got lots to do with it? At the first sign of their female date / partner's displeasure or when conflict rears its monstrous head, these men *poof!!! ... disappear. Granted too many women haven't learnt to fight fairly and not scream and yell and cry and become an emotional volcano which frightens me too, I admit, so you can kinda imagine why these clueless men end up so confused and unsure of how to appease the angry thunder goddesses and stop an impending disaster that they avert their gaze, shut down, retreat, etc. Ever watched your own life spiral out of control and everything you do to try to turn things around just don't work for no rhyme or reason? You end up so frightened, so confused, so desperate for help but yet you are too proud to seek help and before you know it, your life resembles the aftermath of a nasty, disastrous train crash. 😐😔 That's probably how some men feel when it comes to trying to appease the female Godzillas in their lives. It's not equal rights if one gender gets intimidated into silence or submission. Too many women these days get married for financial security and you can't deny that a lot get wealthy off the divorce settlements. A man's career and wealth acquisition are almost like status symbols and an outward sign of "success" to them so why should they risk it all in "high risk ventures"? They've wisened up - they fulfill their sexual needs for free and enjoy all manner of variety and sheilas, and they do not need to be responsible for anything, suffer any woman's tantrums and issues, and at the first whiff of trouble, they scoot off, pull a Houdini disappearing act, set up new sexual liaisons with new faces, and grin at not having to stay and endure the now ex gf / FB / FWB's emotion-charged outbursts. Just block them and the bank account stays intact. Phew! Cut the losses... no margin call situation that cannot be reversed. Where's the incentive for men to linger and stay? I've heard too many guys tell me that eventually, it all goes to shit. The sweet and gentle lady morphs into Cruella Deville after they sign on the dotted line. 😛 Oops! Maybe this morbid phobia has made guys not stay around to give women a fair chance because not all of us are Cruella. It's not fair for all of us to be treated this way but it only takes one little splatter of ink stain to ruin a lovely white silk blouse. Something has to change. And I suspect it is as simple as love. Let love be the reason why we get together, let love drive us to respect our partners and motivate us to do things for each other. It's not weakness when we work hard to make the men in our lives happy - it's a wise woman's way of ensuring that a happy man is a man who returns to you every night. Treat a man like a King, and we become his Queen! Win-win situation. We don't need to do any man bashing at all.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Where you are is tough. There are more here who understand that, than you might realise. Hang in there 👍
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RHP User
8 years ago
Yes couldn't agree more, and can understand why they choose not to be trapped in a relationship that might not ultimately be what they want, for all the reasons you mentioned, but what they don't see is there are other options, not all women want marriage and the picket fence, just love. Whatever the risks, and I do appreciate those risks are there, life without love is a little empty. Sex becomes meaningless. I was dead against wanting another relationship, but I've come full circle, still want sexual freedom, but there is a void I need to fill, not just the physical one I have been lol
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EarthQueen
8 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony' As a once-foreigner who eventually naturalized after more than a decade here, one observation I've made is that whilst there are SNAGs and emotionally strong and very communicative guys here (I suspect that they might have been brought up well by strong, single mums who infused those traits in them, go Sistas!), there are lots more who avoid dealing with emotions because it ain't "macho". 😛 Maybe the obsession with sports and the strong and rugged men's man ideal has got lots to do with it? At the first sign of their female date / partner's displeasure or when conflict rears its monstrous head, these men *poof!!! ... disappear. Pure Peony. Question? In your country of birth do you notice the same patterns with men or is it more of an Australian thing? With my teenage son I am often trying to draw him out and talk about the things that matter such as relationships, friendships, girls, feelings etc. Its hard work. I usually have to use humour to get it out of him and as he gets older he gets more closed he becomes, which is natural I guess. You don't want to share everything with your mother of course, but we have always been close. But it worries me because if we do have conflict he usually shuts down and put up the wall and I hope its something he doesn't carry into his relationships when he is older. I think its a very Australian thing for men to be taught not to show vulnerability. Because its not a character trait thats valued here. Which is unfortunate for men and women I think. It can make it hard to develop long term connection in relationships without it. Also once you have been on the receiving end of hurt, either man or woman, you can become wary of allowing yourself to be open. Which is a roadblock for developing a connection so it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy that you won't. I try to keep an open heart and open mind and hope for the best. We all carry baggage but it doesn't mean we can't unpack it with someone who wants to understand us. Cautiously optimistic :)
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RHP User
8 years ago
Aww... your son is truly very lucky to have you! Keep up the hard work - it is really an awesome endeavour you have taken on and I applaud you! 👏👏👏 (Not sure if the icons work but it's clapping hands, nothing vulgar! Lol!) I can't say that all men from a particular country exhibit the same characteristic, and I think it's the family structure and upbringing that is more important in determining EQ. But I can say that in general, trends can be observed. 😛 I've noticed that men of European heritage and upbringing can be more emotionally aware. The North Europeans, eg. The Dutch and the Swedish, with their Hygge culture, are really lovely, grounded people. I really hate generalisation but I've met Lebanese and Egyptian men who also seem to exhibit emotional awareness. In my part of the world, families tend to be close-knit and we are multicultural and quite cosmopolitan so the guys do develop emotional sensitivity. Again, I need to stress that dysfunctionality and conversely, a high EQ, does not have a race or nationality. I think the sports culture here might have a huge role to play. What do the guys talk about when they get together here - sports, sports and sports, and oh yeah... son's in a bit of trouble is school, sports, work's a bitch, sports, ... whilst guzzling beer, beer and more beer, *burp! 🤣 I think men who embrace practices like mindfulness, meditation, or some form of spiritual attunement (of the socially integrative, self- improvement sort, not the isolationist, divisive sort like cults, or elitist groups 😝) ... these guys would tend to have a lovely dimension because they have spent time nourishing their hearts and soul. Usually, it's the women in these men's lives who play a part. Mothers are the most important influence in a man's life and they are the numero uno and very first exposure to females. Sadly, not all women rise up to the task because it's not only about feeding, cleaning, driving kids to school and activities, it's the time spent together discussing issues (not watching TV), teaching, nurturing, and letting them observe how their dads are being treated. That sets their blueprints for life. Schools play a part too. In some parts of the world, eg. Japan, the school curriculum includes moral ethics and kids are taught things like respect the elders, being considerate to others by not talking too loudly in public places, and even coping skills like meditation or mindfulness although these might have different names over there. Of course deviants and rogues can still be found in their society because individuals make choices and sleep in the bed they make, but the building blocks and foundation is there. Post-divorce, women tend to recover "better" because we tend to talk about issues with our friends, we cry and do not suppress our hurt and broken hearts, we seek help and attend counselling sessions if we need to. Men tend to bottle it all up and put up a facade that all's well, and they don't might balk at seeking help from a psychologist because of hang-up's, they cry only when alone, and they can't talk about emotions much with their mates. I think their "fix it" solution is to DO something so they throw themselves at work, or they take passive revenge on all women by becoming players - ex wife didn't satisfy my sexual needs and she has ruined me, so now I'm going to fuck every woman I meet upside down and dump them, fuck them then dump them, cause that's what these bitches deserve! 😛 Or, they do not allow themselves to grieve and get into a rebound relationship... or two... or three... and for the rest of their lives, they go around sealing their hearts against future hurt because ALL women are going to behave like their ex's. 😝 Life offers so much beauty but we need to allow scars to heal, get ourselves off the ground again, and turn our faces up at the sun to begin to see and feel beauty again. If we aren't in touch with the emotional / psychological / spiritual dimensions of ourselves, we'll continue to live a 2- dimensional life - work, pay bills, pray the next lover won't screw us up too much! Lol! 😛 Months after the horrible bush fire a few years ago, my friends and I drove up to the area and I was astounded to see new branches with tiny green leaves growing from badly burnt trees that I would've thought were long dead! As a mum, you can't stop your son from encountering pain and hurt and disappointment, but you can teach him emotional resilience, mental fortitude, and nurture his spiritual aspect. He'll grow up to be a formidable force and a strong, masculine man. Show "macho" out the door because caveman grunts never solve issues; usher "masculinity" in because he's a strong man who can face up to any and all issues life throws at him. 😉 Argh! I need to get my lazybum out of bed and get brunch going! Have a great Sunday, EarthQueen and everyone! Melburnians, bring your brollies along because it's going to rain intermittently today! 😛
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony' Aww... your son is truly very lucky to have you! Keep up the hard work - it is really an awesome endeavour you have taken on and I applaud you! 👏👏👏 (Not sure if the icons work but it's clapping hands, nothing vulgar! Lol!) I can't say that all men from a particular country exhibit the same characteristic, and I think it's the family structure and upbringing that is more important in determining EQ. But I can say that in general, trends can be observed. 😛 I've noticed that men of European heritage and upbringing can be more emotionally aware. The North Europeans, eg. The Dutch and the Swedish, with their Hygge culture, are really lovely, grounded people. I really hate generalisation but I've met Lebanese and Egyptian men who also seem to exhibit emotional awareness. In my part of the world, families tend to be close-knit and we are multicultural and quite cosmopolitan so the guys do develop emotional sensitivity. Again, I need to stress that dysfunctionality and conversely, a high EQ, does not have a race or nationality. I think the sports culture here might have a huge role to play. What do the guys talk about when they get together here - sports, sports and sports, and oh yeah... son's in a bit of trouble is school, sports, work's a bitch, sports, ... whilst guzzling beer, beer and more beer, *burp! I think men who embrace practices like mindfulness, meditation, or some form of spiritual attunement (of the socially integrative, self- improvement sort, not the isolationist, divisive sort like cults, or elitist groups 😝) ... these guys would tend to have a lovely dimension because they have spent time nourishing their hearts and soul. Usually, it's the women in these men's lives who play a part. Mothers are the most important influence in a man's life and they are the numero uno and very first exposure to females. Sadly, not all women rise up to the task because it's not only about feeding, cleaning, driving kids to school and activities, it's the time spent together discussing issues (not watching TV), teaching, nurturing, and letting them observe how their dads are being treated. That sets their blueprints for life. Schools play a part too. In some parts of the world, eg. Japan, the school curriculum includes moral ethics and kids are taught things like respect the elders, being considerate to others by not talking too loudly in public places, and even coping skills like meditation or mindfulness although these might have different names over there. Of course deviants and rogues can still be found in their society because individuals make choices and sleep in the bed they make, but the building blocks and foundation is there. Post-divorce, women tend to recover "better" because we tend to talk about issues with our friends, we cry and do not suppress our hurt and broken hearts, we seek help and attend counselling sessions if we need to. Men tend to bottle it all up and put up a facade that all's well, and they don't might balk at seeking help from a psychologist because of hang-up's, they cry only when alone, and they can't talk about emotions much with their mates. I think their "fix it" solution is to DO something so they throw themselves at work, or they take passive revenge on all women by becoming players - ex wife didn't satisfy my sexual needs and she has ruined me, so now I'm going to fuck every woman I meet upside down and dump them, fuck them then dump them, cause that's what these bitches deserve! 😛 Or, they do not allow themselves to grieve and get into a rebound relationship... or two... or three... and for the rest of their lives, they go around sealing their hearts against future hurt because ALL women are going to behave like their ex's. 😝 Life offers so much beauty but we need to allow scars to heal, get ourselves off the ground again, and turn our faces up at the sun to begin to see and feel beauty again. If we aren't in touch with the emotional / psychological / spiritual dimensions of ourselves, we'll continue to live a 2- dimensional life - work, pay bills, pray the next lover won't screw us up too much! Lol! 😛 Months after the horrible bush fire a few years ago, my friends and I drove up to the area and I was astounded to see new branches with tiny green leaves growing from badly burnt trees that I would've thought were long dead! As a mum, you can't stop your son from encountering pain and hurt and disappointment, but you can teach him emotional resilience, mental fortitude, and nurture his spiritual aspect. He'll grow up to be a formidable force and a strong, masculine man. Show "macho" out the door because caveman grunts never solve issues; usher "masculinity" in because he's a strong man who can face up to any and all issues life throws at him. 😉 said Ms Peony. Enjoyed that post - an accurate assessment. You write so well and you write from your heart. As you described above, I would hope that all parents teach their children these valuable lessons however I fear many don't which results in what seems like SOOOO many young adults plus older adults needing a variety of help and emotional support after adverse occurrences especially relationship breakups. For example, a few years ago I dated an older man that I met online and he told me the story of a 16 year old boy who was a mate of this man's son. This 16 year old boy committed suicide after his young girlfriend broke up with him. How shocking is that!! What a dreadful and sad waste of a young life. Seems that boy had been taught no coping strategies whatsoever. I SOOO admire men of any age who can express their emotions, cry, communicate their inner thoughts and feelings to others.....open up, don't bottle anything up. They are the strong ones. Should be more of it. You go guys.......and ensure you encourage, support and help each other. As someone else said on here a while back - communication - talk, talk talk then talk some more.
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EarthQueen
8 years ago
Thanks for your detailed answer. Hope you have a great day too x
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RHP User
8 years ago
Although I agree with your sentiment and wholeheartedly agree men and boys should be encouraged to open up and not bottle things up, depression is a silent killer, and this part of your post "What a dreadful and sad waste of a young life. Seems that boy had been taught no coping strategies whatsoever" would be very distressing for parents/friends/partners etc of suicide victims to read. The ones left behind are left with the guilt, what could they have done. Most often, there is nothing they could have done. Respect you of course and your opinion, just wanted to highlight 'conditioning' is good but people still find themselves getting sucked down and don't see any way out. A heavy subject, not one I want to get into too much, but just wanted to add that
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RHP User
8 years ago
I think the reason men don't share their emotions so freely is because at some point that sharing has been thrown back in their face and used against them. I think your assumptions that Australian men have a low eq is just that, a massive assumption. So maybe you should look at the other side of the equation and ask why (some) women have so little respect for men's feelings ? And so now I've opened myself up to being accused of being bitter, so before you cast those nasturtiums ask yourself how that might have happened ?
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RHP User
8 years ago
I don't think you sound bitter. It's good to hear it from a man's point of view. Love to hear more of your thoughts and from other men. I think we women need to hear it, to better understand
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RHP User
8 years ago
Yeah but, who's listening? Too many here don't want to hear, the male posts are just ammo for the same old arguments and political agenda. Smash the patriarchy blah blah blah. And given the level of censorship I've been subjected to lately it's clear the mods support the shouters not the listeners.
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Hawt1
8 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony'I can't say that all men from a particular country exhibit the same characteristic, and I think it's the family structure and upbringing that is more important in determining EQ. But I can say that in general, trends can be observed. 😛 I've noticed that men of European heritage and upbringing can be more emotionally aware. The North Europeans, eg. The Dutch and the Swedish, with their Hygge culture, are really lovely, grounded people. I really hate generalisation but I've met Lebanese and Egyptian men who also seem to exhibit emotional awareness. In my part of the world, families tend to be close-knit and we are multicultural and quite cosmopolitan so the guys do develop emotional sensitivity. Again, I need to stress that dysfunctionality and conversely, a high EQ, does not have a race or nationality. I think the sports culture here might have a huge role to play. What do the guys talk about when they get together here - sports, sports and sports, and oh yeah... son's in a bit of trouble is school, sports, work's a bitch, sports, ... whilst guzzling beer, beer and more beer, *burp! 🤣 I think men who embrace practices like mindfulness, meditation, or some form of spiritual attunement (of the socially integrative, self- improvement sort, not the isolationist, divisive sort like cults, or elitist groups 😝) ... these guys would tend to have a lovely dimension because they have spent time nourishing their hearts and soul. Usually, it's the women in these men's lives who play a part. Mothers are the most important influence in a man's life and they are the numero uno and very first exposure to females. Sadly, not all women rise up to the task because it's not only about feeding, cleaning, driving kids to school and activities, it's the time spent together discussing issues (not watching TV), teaching, nurturing, and letting them observe how their dads are being treated. That sets their blueprints for life. Post-divorce, women tend to recover "better" because we tend to talk about issues with our friends, we cry and do not suppress our hurt and broken hearts, we seek help and attend counselling sessions if we need to. Men tend to bottle it all up and put up a facade that all's well, and they don't might balk at seeking help from a psychologist because of hang-up's, they cry only when alone, and they can't talk about emotions much with their mates. I think their "fix it" solution is to DO something so they throw themselves at work, or they take passive revenge on all women by becoming players - ex wife didn't satisfy my sexual needs and she has ruined me, so now I'm going to fuck every woman I meet upside down and dump them, fuck them then dump them, cause that's what these bitches deserve! 😛 Or, they do not allow themselves to grieve and get into a rebound relationship... or two... or three... and for the rest of their lives, they go around sealing their hearts against future hurt because ALL women are going to behave like their ex's. 😝 I know I've been told not to make topics about myself, also that you dont do generalisations. Just wanted to comment, I did go through women similar to how you describe above, but with the exception of not wishing to hurt anyone told them not to expect anything relationship wise beforehand... let them make an informed decision. Surprisingly to me most were amenable to that situation.. (seems you lot aren't all ogres and also enjoy physical intimacy, who knew!!) I farking hate cricket, football and rugby, what a waste of life people obsessing over a ball. Also I don't really drink a lot, every other month I might feel like having something. Sometimes I am feeling all alone and un-Australian.. but then I think nup, I'm right just being me. Love exploring the bush/world and even a bit of prospecting/fossicking nature is just amazing. Enjoyed reading your essay's, I think you're pretty close to the mark. Financial ruin because the other side can't keep their promises sux.. why live it again, twice is enough, especially after watching my parents divorce and swearing to myself I don't let that happen to my children! My eldest son recently went through a break up, he took it pretty hard, I had to impress upon him, everyone has free will, no one owns or owes anyone anything (despite what ever they may have said)... best you can do is be someone they want to be with. Anyone interested in a committed open relationship where we live singularly perhaps? I think they call it friends with benefits. lol.Don't need children, already had them and turned that tap off permanently. Lastly, - half Dutch here ;) <---shameless advertisement :) Lol, I'm off, its a gorgeous day, I am going to use it.
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RHP User
8 years ago
You do realise that feminists - not the radical kind that you seem to think all feminists are, but the kind that are about equality - are fighting not only for women to get out of the shackles of all the stereotypical bullshit that is heaped on them, but they are also fighting for the same thing for men. Why do you think our society has these expectations of how men should and shouldn't act and what they should and shouldn't do? The exact same reason it has those expectations for women...because from the time we are babies we're brought up to believe that men should be stoic, rugged, never express emotion, be ruthless in work and in life, handle it all without ever admitting they are struggling etc. Just like we expect women to be caring, empathetic, emotional, willing and able to take on everyone else's problems. When a man or woman deviates from those expectations they are treated as an oddity, thought to be not 'normal', dismissed, not taken seriously. The gender crap that is heaped on us now is bad news for both men and women. It's no wonder both genders are experiencing increasing mental health problems, and so many men are dying by suicide and by violence. If you want men to start being able to express themselves and a society that encourages and accepts that, you would do well to start supporting the feminists who want that as well. Because they are the ones who are among your biggest and best allies...not the men who only bring up issues like high rates of male suicide when they want to derail a topic about men but who don't actually do anything to help address the real problems. (Oh, I also don't really think that you're being personally targetted by the mods. Seems that there are comments and threads being deleted all over the place at the moment).
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RHP User
8 years ago
*when they want to derail a topic about women
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RHP User
8 years ago
Second reply, first one didn't make it. Yes, I agree with everything you said. Equality will liberate men more than they know.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Happened to me after an illlness , still recovering mentally and physically, hardest thing is dropping the extra kilos..... I thought I was broken , didn't want to look for the rare scotch fillet , or have my mind play with by the whole orchestra, I just hovered there , waiting for the great bang theory, never really came, thought I had found it once , but turned out to be a unicorn with a great deal of magic dust applied .... You seem like a strong woman , so I'm sure you will be up and about searching that menu , cheers , stay safe - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Luck_Dragon' ...because from the time we are babies we're brought up to believe that... When a man or woman deviates from those expectations they are treated as an oddity, thought to be not 'normal', dismissed, not taken seriously. The gender crap that is heaped on us now is bad news for both men and women. It's no wonder both genders are experiencing increasing mental health problems... In light of these comments, I'd be interested to hear your take on the contents/arguments put in an article I've just read (titled 'Conscripting Babies in the Culture Wars' by Tony Thomas) which offers a critique of 'Feminist Baby' by Loryn Brantz.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I dont know you LeFemme, but with a user name like that I am going to take a stab and say that you are a little more educated and sophisticated than most, which means you need that intellectual element as well. I had a lady friend say to me recently, you fuck a woman through their mind before you get to the body, which I have heard many times before. But this time it elicited a deeper conversation around this belief by men out there at the moment that think hooking up is all about the sex element and not considering the rest of the person(not that I know of course). Stay true to your ideals and find people that stimulate your mind before anything else. Once you have found them, go ballistic
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' Although I agree with your sentiment and wholeheartedly agree men and boys should be encouraged to open up and not bottle things up, depression is a silent killer, and this part of your post "What a dreadful and sad waste of a young life. Seems that boy had been taught no coping strategies whatsoever" would be very distressing for parents/friends/partners etc of suicide victims to read. The ones left behind are left with the guilt, what could they have done. Most often, there is nothing they could have done. Respect you of course and your opinion, just wanted to highlight 'conditioning' is good but people still find themselves getting sucked down and don't see any way out. A heavy subject, not one I want to get into too much, but just wanted to add that Correct. Depression is a silent killer.I should know. I've suffered from it for 17 years.Some days are better than others but sometimes I have days where I just wish I hadn't woken up.And this is where the coping strategies enter.I'm fortunate that I spoke up and was then encouraged to seek help and found friends and counsellors who have taught me ways of coping.So I battle on with good days and bad days. That's life.......for many people, that is their life.But if nobody actually tells you that it's ok to speak up, ok to seek assistance and if nobody shows you the way, you could end up.....well who knows where.And suicides? Many, too many, of my friends, family members, colleagues and neighbours have committed suicide.Have attended way too many funerals in my lifetime.Not looking for sympathy here by the way folks. Just stating how things are and I know full well I'm not the only one that struggles through some days fighting off those suicidal thoughts and continuing to use those aforementioned coping strategies to move through it.
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Hawt1
8 years ago
A follow up... how did you go? Get it all sorted, has been a while now.xxx
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bonefide
8 years ago
Fucking fatigue is real Yep your so true with your writing young lady. Very well put. u can take Sat and Sun off for that "enjoy" 😅👍
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