F47

The Men In My Life

October 03 2011

I was thinking about this the other day, driving home from work. The people I know, the people I care about. In particular the men that I care about. Who they are, how they fit in to my life and what they each offer me. Which ofcourse got me thinking about what I give to them. Do I give enough?Just so we are clear, I am not only talking of sexual partners. My son and my friend/personal trainer are right up there. My son is an amazing child. Every bit the gross dirty snotty little boy with his motorbikes and cars and playing in the dirt but he is old soul with the most calming of natures who will calmly sit by you when he knows you are sad and not even ask what is wrong just hold your hand.My trainer is this incredibly solid constant in my life that makes me feel protected. He is the voice of reason and will listen tirelessly, always seeming to know what to say and when to say it. He also knows exactly how to tell you when you are the one being unreasonable and as quoted by another of his clients 4yr old daughters "Wow is he made of glass or plastic?" he seems superhuman sometimes and when I stop talking about me and listen to him I know he is sad and I have to remember he is a person too. Then all my motherly nurturing instincts kick in and I want to be to him all he is to me.Andrew, well, I could not forget him. I love him and I hate him all with the same passion, no one has stirred so many emotions in me all at the same time. I can't see a life without him in it in some way but some days I wish he would just go away. he did, he has gone to the UK for a month, I was so looking forward to the break. But when I returned home from dropping him to the airport I cried for day. Andrew may very well be my soulmate.My father and my brothers. Family is hard work but I love how my Father and brothers love me. I know there is nothing they would not do for me. I cherish my family even though sometimes I can't stand being in the same room as them for more than hour.Finally there is one other friend and I am not quite sure how he fits, I just know that I like knowing him.We give men a hard time on here. We do it in the real world too. I think sometimes that it must be hard to be a man. Much harder than a woman. We are allowed to be women but men are expected to be men and so much more. Who are the men in your lives? Guys out there, who are the important women your lives?xx Salina

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RHP User

14 years ago

In order of importance:Equal first...My sonAnd my housemate/best friendAmazing, incredible, wonderful people, who for some reason credit me a great deal with how they have turned out... but *secret* (between me and you RHP guys ) I think it's just because they are awesome They just are I think they place too little value on their own, innate, natural awesomeness. I'm lucky to have them. Both of them.My Outlet. I seriously doubt that the man in question has any idea how important he is to me. But he is the only person that I know I can vent to/at no-holds-barred, and know we will still be friends at the end of it. He gets Me. And he is ok with Me. That... is very rare...My Lover. Again, someone who probably doesn't realise the impact they have on my life. How much they mean. I may just tell them one of these days :P won't that fuck a whole lot up :P lol.My boss. Who is also a friend and one of my most trusted confidantes.My lovers :) and yes, it's different. The guys that I've met (mostly here :P ) and liked enough to go back for more ;) you know who you are!I'm one of those girls who doesn't seem to get along with most girls? Many of my nearest and dearest are men. I would have been hard pressed to make a list of girls that I feel anywhere near as strongly about :P Great, thanks Sal, now I feel all sexist and shit :P lol

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RHP User

14 years ago

My two sons...one grown and one only a little boy who thinks he is grown. Both still a pain in the arse but I love them anyway. My body bears the scars of giving birth to them and my heart the scars of all thier thoughtless deads. My son in law... a wonderful man who loves my granddaughter even though she is not his natural child. No one would ever know. My step son...I have worried about him more than any of the other kids as his was the most turbulent time growing up....and still is even though he has kids of his own. All the other boys that have come to live in my house, no matter how briefly, when your little lives have fallen apart. The past men in my life and the father of my kids. That which dont kill us only makes us stronger and thier deception has helped to shape the woman I am today. Rueben.....the man who took me from childhood into adulthood. He died 25 years ago but his influence in my life was tremendous. I dont even need to close my eyes to hear his voice and see his smile. My grandsons...two little boys and one to be born very soon. My friends...with benefits and without. Many males in my life. Those that stick around are the ones I care for. Those that leave still have an influence no matter which way you look at it and no matter how fleeting the time we spend together. My father who was basically only a sperm donor, my two brothers, uncles, my landlord...now a fantastic friend who has given me my home and sanctuary. l There are way more men in my life than women. I feel completely comfortable in thier company and eventaully I will find one more special man to share the rest of this life with. Cheers to all the men in my life, past, present and future. Some good, some not so good but each adding to the rich tapestry of life along the way.

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RHP User

14 years ago

I realised that over the years I has less and less men in my life. All my friends had got married & had families & I rarely saw them. This is one of the main reasons why I joined RHP, for male friends & lovers. Men appreciate my humor more, I think. :-D xx Meeka

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RHP User

14 years ago

That the women that have replied to this forum topic all seem to be women that feel more comfortable in the company of men.Like you SirLadyBits I would be hard pressed to make a similar list of women. For myself I am unsure what it is that makes me feel more comfortable with men. if I think about it I know that the men I have known have generally stuck around. When I have gone through stuff they have not turned their backs or passed judgement. Women have come and gone.I am pretty sure some of the men I speak of here have no idea how I feel! They would probably freak out if they did, but caring for them does not mean wanting to run away with them or any kind of relationship any different to the one that has already been established.I do wonder sometimes what it is about me that draws me to men over women, and what it is that attracts these men to me because when I think of it many of them have similar traits.xx Salina

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RHP User

14 years ago

Hey salina def no men in my life but some awesome girl only a little off topic made me think what i do give them but

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RHP User

14 years ago

Salina, remember men don't often know how they feel let alone how women feel!

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RHP User

14 years ago

I don't know if I feel more comfortable around men necessarily but I guess I feel as if I can be more myself around them, that is a filthy biatch! Naughty gay/bi men are the best for that. One friend I have had for over 20 years, although he tells me he doesn't do boys any more now he is married. Yeah right, I mean how many guys hold hands with their "boxing" partner on the dance floor, hmmm. Can't pull the wool over Meeka's eyes. Would love to know if the wife knows but she barely spoke to me for the first 5 years so puck her!! But I do have lots of good girlfriends who I see all the time. Two very close GF's I have had for over 30 years :) xxMeeka

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RHP User

14 years ago

As someone who has grown up as "one of the boys" and has always preferred the company of men to women I thought I would have a huge list of guys. Then I started thinking about it and was shocked at how few I actually do have in my life. I am one who would much rather go on a boys weekend than a girls one, or head out for a night on the town with the boys, but realised I really dont have any male friends anymore Of course there is my Dad, who I rarely see as he is not often in the country, and if he is he tells me a few days after he arrives. We are much too similar people and can prob spend an hour in the same room before one of us has to leave. It has always been this way, and his way of feeling like a good Dad is to pay me off. I hate it (but cant say no...) My Dad's ex best mate, who he hates that I keep in contact with! I call him my Protector. He is constantly watching out for me, always assuming that one day I will slip up and need him. Until then he keeps in touch by taking me out for dinner and drinks when I need a night out, or comes and picks me up when I am in no fit state to be catching public transport home by myself lol My ex and father of my daughters, the man I gave my everything for 9yrs. The one who, as much as I hated the way he hurt me (physically and emotionally), I still look at him and know that I am the perfect fit in his arms and I have never felt safer or more in love than when I am in them. The same man I look at in disgust for the hell he put me through, at the same time as my heart is skipping a beat. I cant wait for those feelings to leave My best friend, who would do anything for me, as I would for him. He is flying me to Sydney in 2 weeks as he has just moved there and wants a happy face around him. I havent seen him for 5 years so its gonna be one of the highlights of my year. My 3 brothers, 1 of whom I havent seen in years, the other I rarely see and my youngest brother, who is a typical 24yr old. I can take him in small doses before he really shits me lol My first ever "friend" from rhp, who I still havent met! Dont even know what he looks like. Could tell you what every inch of his body looks like but have no idea what his face is like. We chat every day, and its alot of fun. He is prob someone I will never sleep with but we get along so well. I was having a bad day yesterday and one text from him had me smiling again. He is probably the most arrogant, self centred, frustrating person in the world but I wouldnt have him any other way. He balances me and will stop me in my tracks if he thinks I am getting too full on. It is not uncommon for us to share over 150 text messages a day. In the time I have been on rhp I have met some great guys, most that I will never see again. A couple that I have seen twice or more but none that I would take to being a FWB, which is essentially what I want. Someone who will regularly meet up with me for dinner or a drink, before taking me home then heading out for breakfast the next morning, or have a long lazy Sunday morning in bed. Or even just a night in with takeaway and a movie with a couple of drinks. In the past I have had amazing men in my life, both as friends and lovers. I can look back now and realise why they are no longer there (bloody hindsight) but hope that I will one day have more people like them around. Until then I will just have fun "auditioning" new guys for the FWB role I currently have available...

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RHP User

14 years ago

Thank you, Today is a dark day and I needed this.Today I let a part of my heart die a black and painful death. I needed a thread like this to remind me that love exsists beyond all limitsThere will be other days.<3 Rob

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RHP User

14 years ago

If you don't allow yourself to feel the lows, then you are unlikely to be able to FEEL the highs, some people sit on the fence all their life, choose not to take the risk, stay in control, so they never experience heart break, but what is sadder is that they never feel love either ...

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RHP User

14 years ago

We all get those nicks and cuts that cause the scars on our hearts. The trick is to not let our hearts become one big hard scab. Booba is right...we need those lows to really appreciate the highs when they happen. Yes love does exist beyond all limits. Chin up sweetie...there WILL be other days for sure...especially for one as cute as you. l Ms McCans...as comortable and relaxed as I do feel in the company of men and the amount of time I have spent in my life time being the only woman in a male dominated industry, I do beleive that I could match my "man-list" equally with a female one. I guess I am blessed.

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RHP User

14 years ago

Firstly Sal, lovely post. Secondly, Rob honey; you my love are a special man. This too shall pass. xx Now thirdly on to the topic at hand. My prince of 14 years of course comes first. I adore him, have adored him from the start and probably always will. He is so much more than i could have ever dreamed of. He's faulted just like everyone else but his positives WAY outweigh the negatives. He's exceptional. My babies (it seems i was incapable of producing female children much to my husbands great lament although of course he adores his sons) They are my heart running around this planet. The greatest love, the most indestructable and faithful love. My special lover who i adore and feel blessed to have in my life who makes me laugh and feel beautiful and exceptional and RAVISHED, thoroughly ravished. My special friend who i have learned so, so much from and who i'm completely addicted to talking to. He's been a big influence on me, a teacher in some ways. He's just larger than life, full of information, enormously fun to be around and just so fascinating to talk to. I may never see him again but will remember him for a long, long time. I'm so blessed to have crossed paths with him. I think i have known for a long time that not only is my sex brain male but i am most definatly a mans woman and not a womans woman. I have mostly male friends, i "get" men, i feel comfortable, at ease and safe with men. They are logical to me. I love women, my dearest friend of 27 years is a woman and women are the most sensual creatures which i also love but i am a mans woman.

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RHP User

14 years ago

What you give out reflects back in kind and intensity. Being kind not right is a good practice. We are all the same looking at each other from a different perspective. Choose a loving outlook.

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