F34
Unable to orgasm..ever
July 04 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Oh gawd...... I shudder to think of some of the advice you're about to get!! A diamond-encrusted 25 inch dildo that vibrates at 6504SI with an accompanying butt-plug in a contrasting colour while used in a bath at 17.6 degrees F while the whole local football team of toyboys play with your nipples and swing from the chandeliers with all the grumpy old men looking on from the naughty corner......"Seriously though;Someone in the healthcare field might be a better port of call other than here!Don't mess with your body (or ignore it) if it's not acting the way you think it should be - get yourself to your GP young lady!Wouldn't you kick yourself in 20 years if all you had to do was some very simple specialised physio treatment to get the Big O??
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RogueGeek
13 years ago
I know how you feel. Or rather, how you don't feel.If you're on any medication, check that first for possible side-effects - many anti-depressants cause sexual disfunction.Other than that, all you can do is try new styles/techniques etc. You might need penetrative stimulation in concert with clitoral to acheive climax. If you have any psychological hangups/reservations about sex, you might need to address those first (find yourself a good clin psych if that is the case).In the mean time, I recommend find an understanding lady or gentleman who will play for the sake of playing and not for the sake of an orgasm. Enjoy the journey and what it feels like to be intimate with another body, and focus less on achieving an orgasm (I am still working on this myself).Cheers,MS
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RHP User
13 years ago
when orgasm was extremely difficult to acheive and sometimes down right impossible. Mainly due to mind-set or medication that I am taking at the time. Are you on any medication at all? Many anti-depressants will have this effect and infact, some are prescribed for premature ejaculation. At 19 you need to relax, stop stressing about this as that will make it worse. Those little orgasms mean that you CAN get there and will probably be multi orgasmic with the right man. Only about 85% of women actually acheive orgasm through penetration anyway. You need to forget all about what others do, what others are feeling. It is not about them. We are all different and will all react in different ways. Dont worry too much about things...relax and go with the flow. It WILL happen.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Maybe a more experienced and less selfish lover would help
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RHP User
13 years ago
I agree with those above, medication can and does cause issues. Research online, for any meds you are on. If there is ANY mention at all about sexual issues for any meds you are taking, then talk to your Dr about changing meds to something that does not inhibit you.Meds aside, your own mental feelings/inhibitions/upbringing may be intruding too. Seek a more experienced lover, one who will forget their own orgasm and just concentrate on you, meanwhile, you should forget trying to achieve an orgasm and just enjoy the play (even when by yourself). Learn more about your body, what does and doesn't do it for you. Since your clit is super-sensitive, try leaving it covered by its hood, and stimulating it thru the hood, gentle squeezing, rolling it around. When with someone, communicate your issues so they can work with you on overcoming them, and also can stay away from anything that does not work for you.Above all, relax and simply enjoy the fun. Take the pressure off yourself, to orgasm, and just go with the flow, enjoying him or her and the pleasure you are having.
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RHP User
13 years ago
http://redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/Yet-to-orgasm-during-sex-advice-35437 - it has lots of useful advice (and reassurance that this is not uncommon!)
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RHP User
13 years ago
I can actaully boast on this one:).........i met a hot girl whom had been married for over 5 years and had several other partners..she enjoyed sex but had never had and orgasim...........we saw each other for about 6 mths on and off and each time she would cum 1.2 even 3 times in a good session..........maybe just the right conection or something but it did happen and do speak to till this day...( sadly she has moved interstate)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Un Lucky but there will be offers a plenty coming your way
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RHP User
13 years ago
Don't know if this will help but..I mainly get there sitting or lying on top of my partner and taking control. My partner has to be still so I can use my own momentum. Have had up to 25 in a one hour session. Have only climaxed a handful of times on my back. Good luck and don't give up, you are young and probably need experience.Ses
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'choppyme'I can actaully boast on this one:).........i met a hot girl whom had been married for over 5 years and had several other partners..she enjoyed sex but had never had and orgasim...........we saw each other for about 6 mths on and off and each time she would cum 1.2 even 3 times in a good session..........maybe just the right conection or something but it did happen and do speak to till this day...( sadly she has moved interstate) Well well, if ever there was proof that a link between spelling orgasm and delivering one aren't linked - here it is!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
A spelling orgasm,wow I would love thatx Hugs H
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi , sounds like great advice , had a partner for 5 years she had the same problem , best of luck
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RHP User
13 years ago
Maybe hang out with me for a weekend and ill try my best :P
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RHP User
13 years ago
Lots of good advice already. I would add a suggestion to perhaps explore the sexual practices in Tantra, Taoism or Quodoushka, all of which are essentially relate to spirituality via sex, and teach vulnerability (letting go), breathwork (letting go) etc (a highly over-simplified summary, but you get the picture). I don't say this lightly. I can relate. All the best x
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RogueGeek
13 years ago
Ugh.MS Quoting 'turbo_staplz' Maybe hang out with me for a weekend and ill try my best :P
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RHP User
13 years ago
thanks for the advice, I know i'm not the only person going through this issue...the point about mental inhibitions may be right though. however, to reflect upon the sources of those inhibitions is too painful for me..if anyone wants to talk to me privately my message box is open.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Hesione'A spelling orgasm,wow I would love thatx Hugs H That's one of the few things I can usually guarantee to deliver.
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RHP User
13 years ago
And lastly....just relax, have fun, that's what it's all about..But I think that's pretty much Mischevious is trying to say.. Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' I would have sent this as an email... but your profile is offline.... you have your own reasons. Id like to hope that this very important topic doesnt become a long list of experts offering a community service.! I also hope other women who have experienced the same as you, offer their reply. Panzar..... I am not a woman, obviously, and I am by no means a physiology or sex therapy practitioner. I do however have an unusual and unorthodox knowledge, so to speak, and would like to offer my thoughts on that basis. I had a similar conversation with a 33yo friend last week.... we have had a small bit of history together. The first time we had sex, was like a WWA bout.... her past experiences with lovers, and also issues surrounding her father, created triggers that meant she simply couldnt allow herself to succumb to loss of control that orgasm means to many women, on a psychological level. She'd get close, then overreact away and seek "control" again. She had to be taught her to open herself to losing her sense of control. And the greatest form of control... is releasing yours over to someone else. Now, my friend is capable of climax if a man leads her to it correctly, but after learning to let go, and being with other partners, she has always felt that there was "more". And for her, there was, and that had to be 'released' too. Your question is similar to hers, but one step back. You can sense great pleasure..... called Orgasmic State.... but from your own description, you dont (I will never say 'cant') climax. Orgasmic state Climax ...different sensations and effects. Hypersensitivity of the clitoris is also very common due to the immense number of nerve endings located there. Most women are aware of the sensation after climax. The Climaxes youve observed in others, occur because they have learned to let go, or simply never needed to learn to submit to the sensations without any psychological barriers. Your physiology is much the same as theirs, so there is likely no physiological reason you cannot attain the same sensations. Can you think of any psychological barriers built from your past? In saying that though, I would also suggest that you forget trying to make Climax, a goal, or benchmark. Because each "failed" attempt to get there reinforces a potentially negative .... and sex should always be a powerfully positive, beneficial experience. Focus instead, ON the pleasure you do feel... and allow that to develop. If you're curious, I would suggest a bottle of Pjur, a dedicated G spot vibrator (also for Deep Sport or Anterior Fornix stimulation), and a lot of time getting to know yourself away from your clitoris, learn what you enjoy, and what mental and sound imagery turns you on the most. Sharing these elements with a partner who will take that control element off your hands with plenty of time to explore, will help you. DG
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RHP User
13 years ago
I can totally relate although i can climax on my own but no man or woman has been able to do this for me. ( altho i assure you every single one of them has guaranteed me that they will be the one) i know that it is because of some things that have happened in my past and that it has do with not being able to fully trust men. I think after a lot of careful research that i have found my answer in a submissive role alto i have yet to reach climax by someone else i am hopeful. you need to figure out why it is you cant give up that power hunny if you dont already know which i suspect you might. Good luck sweetie xx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Ok, so I have been sexually active for more than half your life, LOL. But, I still do not believe I have had a full on, mind blowing orgasm that so many women talk about.I, like you, have little mini orgasms, recover within seconds of play stopping. I can often have lots of these in one session, in very quick succession. Even this took me years to be able to reach.The first time I had any orgamsic sensations was only 4 years ago, with a lovely lady friend. She taught me to squirt. Now, I squirt almost everytime I have sex. Best feeling I have ever had, however nothing compared to what most describe, or what I have witnessed when women orgasm.I know mine is well linked to my head being screwed up. hahaha. I was on anti-depressants from around about the same time i started being sexually active, and my first sexual experience was farrrrr far far from pleasant.I have had lots of AMAZING sexsince then with amazing partners, and still enjoy myself a lot. My mini-orgasms are enough for me, although there are times when I wish I knew what it felt like. Times when someone gets me SO close and the sensations are just too intense for me to let go. I cannot even get myself there masturbating, because when i get to that point, everything, especially my clit, become wayyyy to sensitive to touch anymore and i just have to stop.Anyway....Point of my story is... dont beat yourself up over it. We all experience sex in different ways. Even if youre not having an orgasm, as long as you are enjoying the sex and the experiences along the way thats all that matters. I have long given up on the elusive big O, and hope one day I am blessed enough to find the guy, or girl, who can help me achieve it. Until then, HAVE FUN!
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RHP User
13 years ago
my gf is on ur boat I've only Eva made her orgasm twice and it wasn't threw intercourse.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I didn't orgasm from ANY stimulation for the first 3 years I was sexually active.The ONLY way I can orgasm is by riding.No amount of anything else can get me there.Once single, I stocked up on all the best dildos and vibes my girlfriends guaranteed. Nope, no matter what I did, they didn't work. 4 months later, I was one wound up ball of frustrated fury lol.Tried mounting 3 pillows and riding my vibe - OMG! Instant success!Maybe try that??
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'jesseharwoods'my gf is on ur boat I've only Eva made her orgasm twice and it wasn't threw intercourse. or spelling.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Go to a tantra class/godess - one of the main things they teach is about a heightend state of pleasure. From my experience you will learn alot about your body.
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RHP User
13 years ago
mental issues that maybe blocking you I can't help with thats something you need to overcome on your own no one here can likely help you. But basic technique fail maybe I can? Insert a finger than feeling up the front wall of the inside of your vagina. what you are looking for a roughish patch that should be about 1-2inch's inside and up on the frontal wall of your vagina. normally its straight up but maybe slightly off centre like off to the right or left. once you can feel the wall of the vagina is slightly rougher than elsewhere continue to rub that spot with gentle pressure. easiest to do with a hooked finger doing a come to me pointing like motion, your trying to rub the fingerprint pad of your finger gently back and forther than all around on that rough area. If your having a partner do this give them guidance as to how much pressure you would like and get them to lick your clit at the same time if you enjoy clitoral stimulation. if they are really slaming their fingers in and have already added a couple more fingers and you still can't feel it much have them push down slightly with the palm of their hand above your vagina where the pubic hair begins as a rough guide but somewhere in that general area should be able to increase pressure to help with your feel more. This is best if you do it yourself so you can guide your partner into the right spot if they are missing it. Also if you get a feeling like you are going to pee chances are you aren't you are going to squirt instead maybe do it on the floor in the bathroom the first time to gauge how much mess you are going to make before doing it in your bed or such. other than that you can hit the same spot if your partner lies down and you straddle him while facing him. put your knees out wide and grind yourself down onto his pubic bone (area just above his cock) while leaning back so his dick should be rubbing up and down the frontal part of your vagina. you should be able to get your clit to rub on him at the same time as he is as deep in you as you can get while hitting that same spot at the front of your vagina. You should also be able to use both of these techniques to come multiple times as a woman, just slow down after you have came and then ramp it back up in 30seconds to a minute and you'll be very happy you kept going. my partner claimed to have your problem but now is multi-ogasmic and squirts all the time, she just lacked a bit of experience I also have no desire to come demonstrate on you or anyone else, I only have this profile to trawl forums and perv at pictures. hopefully you or someone else can enjoy orgasmic success from this technique :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'turbo_staplz' Maybe hang out with me for a weekend and ill try my best :P
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