M70
Unattached - what does that mean?
November 01 2017
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
a cupboard? If so I'd run and hide in it 😂😂
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RHP User
8 years ago
are already in there but we'll make room for you 😄
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RHP User
8 years ago
People have a preference for unattached for many reasons. If someone is looking for a relationship, it’s hard to do that when the person you’re meeting up with already has a committed relationship in their life. Personally, that’s not what I’m After, so unattached isn’t a deal breaker for me. What is, though, is that I’d im meeting up with someone who is attached, that their partner knows and is aware of it. I’m ok with being discreet, but I don’t want to be anyone’s dirty little secret. As for if your current situation makes you a cheat and a scoundrel - well, that’s for you to decide. You don’t seem like a scoundrel, from face value, and I’m certainly not going to judge. People’s reasons for seeking intimacy, physical or otherwise, outside their primary relationship are rarely simple, and I’m been on both sides of that equation in the past. It’s not something I’d want to revisit personally. It’s why I’m open about my own relationship status, why my partner knows about and approves of anything I might get up to, and why I require the same of the people I might end up seeing in any sort of intimate capacity. Does that make sense? It’s late, and I’m tired, so forgive any ambiguity in that. What it boils down to is this: your reasons are yours. Honesty is important, and I’d youre up front with anyone you meet on here about your situation you can’t do much more than that. Good luck. And I’m truly sorry about your wife’s MS. It’s a bitch.
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RHP User
8 years ago
But yes, you are cheating. Further, getbecause a single woman has the audacity to want a single man isn't very cool - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Being polyamorous, the reason I find the terms "attached/unattached" frustrating is because I can't tell if it relates to cheating or if it relates to only wanting to connect with "single" people whom are open to a potential relationship if things click that way.... I can't be bothered with the potential dramas of connecting with cheaters at all. On the other hand, I'm totally up for connecting with people whom are openly non-monogamous and already have a primary partner. Heck, these days I possibly prefer it. :D But to answer your question: No, you don't really sound like a scoundrel. I can't really personally imagine what it's like to be in that situation. I've been polyamorous through and through for many years though, so it's just not a situation I have to think about being in. I doubt I could ever connect with someone in your kind of situation though. It just runs against the grain of my personal outlook on intimacy too much now.... On a wider moral scale though, I don't really judge too harshly though. I get that life is complicated.
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Freaky_Fun
8 years ago
Could l handle the pressure? Probably not. Are you a cheater? Not if you've had the conversation and been upfront with her.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I don't seek attached men as that's my preference, I don't judge and its not my business why a man seeks outside his marriage nor am I interested in hearing their stories why.....
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RHP User
8 years ago
I have a couple of buddies in an identical situation, and have total empathy for them. I'm pretty non-judgmental about others. As someone said, life's hard enough without that, and it's too easy to pass judgement when you're not in that situation. And if you're not, I'm happy for you
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' You say "I see many profiles of women who say "unattached" in their preference. These ladies presumably say that they don't want a cheating man." No, I want an unattached man, as in a single one. I don't assume all attached men are cheaters or here without their wives' knowledge, but I'm just not interested in someone who already has a partner.Well, not unless she is part of the deal. Good luck to you both, that's a tough hand you got dealt x
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RHP User
8 years ago
That mostly women ask for unattached men cos theres just too much bullshit with an attached man.... Dealing with how much time she needs, bs how much time your lover needs takes away the ability for you and other attached people to keep things light and fun...as what happens if you’re halfway through a fuck and your wife calls cos she’s fallen?? How are you expecting your lover is going to feel??? I’d hazard a guess she'd feel like a scrunched up tampon.... But I do honestly feel for you, it’s a tough, thankless job being a carer and often it prohibits our basic needs to feel loved, desired and sexy....but I think integrity is what you need to consider here....that to me is a far greater quality to possess than anything as it’s one rare find.... I hope you can find a happy medium so that you can smile again as much as you deserve .... *man hugs* - Posted from rhpmobile
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Sawadee
8 years ago
Seems to me your a decent man with your head and heart in the right place. I don't see you wanting a ongoing relationship with another woman , just a man wanting release like any other man. Take it as a blessing when you read a woman only wants a man who's unattached. That's not the kind of woman you want , they are that way for a purpose.. Yet finding a free spirited woman who is also looking for the same is also hard to find. Have you considered visiting the local massage ladies ? No shame in getting your release with them.. Just a suggestion.. ?
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On_Safari
8 years ago
There are other spouses going through what you are both going through. If I may suggest finding an MS Support Group where you can meet others and eventually discuss other “needs” unable for many reasons to be fulfilled. There will be people who feel the same as you do, will feel compassion and understand where you’re at. I hope you have access to a Respite Carer so you can have the time you also need to look after your physical and emotional well-being. Are you a cheater? No, I don’t believe so. Jayme’s right your still a man with needs and Anti was beautiful in his response. Uncommonly empathetic so this touched a nerve I think. Love you Anti. My mum cares for my Dad fulltime, she’s been in hospital in Brisbane for a month now...us kids are sharing the 24/7 caring for Dad (Dementia) and it’s currently my shift for 2wks. I’m the only one who doesn’t live locally. I think it’s good for us to understand what mums been going through....I hope you both have kids who can help too. I wish you every happiness and maybe a nice lady friend to come into your life who shares your burdens and can lighten them too ~ Indy
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RHP User
8 years ago
Does your wife know you are on RHP and other sites? Since you have asked if you are a cheater, I assume she doesn’t know? And you haven’t mentioned this crucial point in your profile. I’ll be honest. I’m struggling with some of your posts and the fact you have your face on show to the public. I think you are being totally disrespectful to your wife. Some discretion is in order surely? What if someone who knows you both sees your comments, about you and your wife’s personal life and about the porn you watch? You may not care, but what about your wife? I would be ropable if I was her......
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RHP User
8 years ago
not married or having an established partner; single."she began to wonder if he was unattached"synonyms: unmarried · single · unwed · unwedded · unengaged · unbetrothed · [more] Unattached according to the dictionary couldn't be clearer!! My first date after my separation was on another site. I was very clear I wanted unattached.This guy was a cheat and a liar. He was cheating on his wife and his reasoning was he had too much to lose if he got a divorce. Spent the whole date on his computer and talking to his wife.I felt disrespected and extremely uncomfortable with the whole thing. So no I agree with Patchwork on the fact that I don't want to be someone's dirty little secret.My profile is very specific. I don't have a problem with couples who swing as I have done it in my marriage. What I don't like is lack of integrity and sneaky hook-ups when the other party does not know.
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RHP User
8 years ago
My mum nursed my dad for 15 years with Parkinsons and Dementia.Would I have been angry if I found out she cheated on my dad Hell Yes!!Appreciate the situation though and the need for comfort and human contact.You do need to get respite for yourself and find a support group which puts you in contact with people who are going through what you are.I personally don't care if people cheat as long as its not on me or with me.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Cheating very touchy subject for me as it has happened to me recently.Probably not the best person for a subjective opinion.
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