M45

What [insert gender] want

November 03 2022

A lot of these threads seem to be pretty aggressive demarcations about how men and women use the site differently. And for sure, it must be radically different as a single man than it is as a single woman, or whatever you are, for lots of different reasons. I don't think the bad behaviour is about gender, though, not entirely. It ends up expressed across gender lines because there are always way more men than women on these sites, and because of the nature of what we're doing here, and it gets really slippery because both genders, collectively, contribute to the vicious cycle even as they reject it. But I think it's more about expectations. From the perspective of a single guy who is statistically, probably, pretty average: About half the profiles I see are blank. Of the others, maybe 60% seem to be hoping to a connection that might play out over time, and 40% are people wanting to hook up, today. Those three different types of profiles want very different types of approaches. The vast majority of messages that I write aren't opened for weeks, if they're opened at all (way more men than women, right?), but there are plenty that respond immediately. Most conversations I have are slow to start, days between messages, but lots of conversations are done and dusted in 6 minutes. Most women don't want dick pics up front, but there are also women here who are *only* looking for dick pics, and make it clear. Maybe it's true that men are just innately lazy and disinclined to read profiles or put any effort into it, but I don't believe that. I suspect that for most men, trying to meet people here is rejection after wordless rejection, so if he sticks around at all, the path of least resistance eventually becomes to make himself as visible as possible, and hope that one of that 40% likes what they see. Long post, sorry. TL;DR: it's complicated lol, and I don't think the "all men this" and "all women that" approach is all that productive.

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FeistyFatty

3 years ago

Was there a question ❓

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FeistyFatty

3 years ago

Was an interesting read/take on the RHP community. Can't say I agree with all your "categories" of users though. I just enjoy what experiences and people come my way, as a solo and a couple. We've evolved our play over many, many years so we both know exactly what we enjoy and just run with it. Don't overthink it, just enjoy I say 👍

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Libertine001

3 years ago

The 'women' asking for dick pics are women at all...🤪 Libertine

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RHP User

3 years ago

Jump into the chat area if you haven't already done so Eros. Its a better way to make connections through your personality rather than be judged on a static profile bio.

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countrytouch82

3 years ago

I see a couple of these blank ones that have nothing but text that says "up for anything". I'm curious about messaging along the lines of "so, are you 'up for' filling out your profile?" :P

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Ex007

3 years ago

I see it as matching like with like. If a profile is full of smut they are looking for their equal. If the profile is articulate and meaningful they to as looking for someone articulate and meaningful. It also helps to read the profile and not just look at pics, get the loins excited and jump the gun. A horny mindless message or just a mindless message, in general, is never a good idea in my view. The biggest block most people seem to have is the art of making assumptions. If someone hasn’t replied to you for a few days they're probably busy. If they open your message and don’t get back to you for a few days. Their phone probably rang just as they read your message and they forgot to come back to you. Or they got too many messages and you fell off the top 10. If someone’s not interested they will generally tell you. If in doubt ask. For me and I’m speaking from my own personal experience I am almost always the last one to message. Men just seem to move on after about 5 days of the odd message here and there. Then you never hear from them again. On the other side of that people seem to expect that from 8-10 messages. Someone is going to drop everything to go and spend 3hrs of their life with another person without any sort of connection being developed. Mmmm no For me, it is a week or so of messages then a few chats on the phone and maybe a meeting for a cup of tea or coffee. Continue chatting and see if everyone is comfortable. I have some guys I've chatted with for years and have never met in person. The stars just haven't ever aligned for us. They have become great friends and I really appreciate our conversation and how we support each other from afar. Be mindful that RHP is not an escort service or free home delivery whore service. For that sort of service, I would suggest looking at other apps.

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RHP User

3 years ago

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone state “all men” or “all women”, I just assume we all know these statements are just generalisations that don’t apply to everyone, I also think anyone who pretends they don’t understand that probably just wants to be triggered and get in arguments.

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Player_J

3 years ago

A few threads/replies on this, and the one that resonates with me most personally is it depends on the mood and timing (often regardless of gender). Sometimes i am on rhp to just browse, or chat or yes even sex. Finding the common compatibility of timing and mood with another at any given time is often the hardest to line up in terms of wants.

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What [insert gender] want

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