When its over is it really over

Comments

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Sounds to me like you have been giving her mixed signals! Blaming alcohol is just a cop out as far as I'm concerned! If alcohol has that much of an effect on you then I would be putting the bottle down or going to AA meetings! I think that you just go back to her because the sex is so good and you obviously can't get it elsewhere...so when the little boy gets a stiffy she is your first and only option! < I say don't reply to her messages....although it is sad that you are so self-centred to not even have a friendship with this woman on any level! You say that the sex is great AND that you get on well? I can't see the problem other than maybe she doesn't like to go fishing or hiking or whatever it is you do...or maybe she just doesn't share your views on politics....who cares! You say in your profile that you don't want "game players" ... yet you are the biggest player of all! < No sympathy from me, sorry! xFunlovingx

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  If she's staying in touch, it's because she cares about you. You've had the discussion and you told her that it was over, but she won't stop caring about you immediately, just as you probably still harbour feelings for her. Just stick to your message and try to stay away from the drunk texts - time will sort out the rest. Good luck, mate!

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Thank you Funloving for your interesting thoughts, I didn't see it as Game playing, as quite often her arrival at my house in the early hours of the morning after she had been out is different to me having no options.I agree there could be mixed messages, so therefore we had the discussion of what we both wanted and both agreed that we wanted to move on.You point out that alcohol is no excuse and i agree whole heartedly, My question is not one of should we have a friendship as i believe we will always be friends. The question is how to best handle the early awkward moment of a newly ended relationship?We are both in agreeance we want other things,other than what we are both getting out of the relationship.Your suggestion of not answering messages seems rather harsh in relation to having a friendship.I wasn't seeking sympathy, rather a females perspective so i do appreciate your input.funguy

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Get a new phone. It's really not that difficult if my daughter is any indication.... seems to have a new phone every 6 weeks or so... lord knows what she does with them... who'd have thought that they were disposable?Anyway.. I'd never give out my real name, phone number, contact details, email addresses, facebook and so on to people I meet around here. No way! HUgsGazoh shit.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Hahaha Stalkers. Funguy, sounds like she would like to still have a "friends with benefits" thing going on with you. Is that so bad? Well unless you are not interested in continuing with the sex at all? I do find it a little strange that she would text you every few hours though. Isn't that a little stalkerish considering you have broken up? Are you replying to her messages straight away? I think not replying is too harsh but wait a few days before replying and keep it light and friendly, no sexy stuff. She will get the picture soon enough. I hope.xxMeeka

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  It is going to be painful no matter what you do. Just making a clean break can actually hurt more sometimes. If she turns up in the middle of the night, come to the door and tell her you have company and no she cannot come in. That may stop that little trick. If she texts you every couple of hours, you are obviously on her mind alot and she really does not want to let go. Dont reply to all the texts. Try once every two days, then every three days and so on until she finally gets the hint. She has fallen into the habit of relying on you to be there. If you wish to keep the friendship, extricate yourself slowly, slowly, slowly. I know it is easy to fall into bed after a few drinks. I mean the sex was good. BUT!!!!!! That is a no no if you want THIS relationship to break up. Best of luck.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  The big difference between this site and say, more traditional dating site or most usually real life...we meet, talk a bit and head for the sex. If it's good or we agree...we play regularly for a while and maybe a friendship develops from there, maybe not. That could happen either way...you could go out for a while, find out you wanted different things and skip the sex and the rest. Chances are there may not really be grounds there for a lasting friendship and we are actually quite comfortable with that. I don't have too many good friends that I "used to date" ... they are on my casual acquaintances list other than a very few. |Here at least, you had the benefit of great sex before reality set in...not a bad outcome for either.|Just quit answering and/or sending texts and making phone calls trying to make more out of it all than what it is. You've had a physical experience that now seems to be something you are trying to rationalize emotionally. Give it a couple of weeks...avoid any unnecessary contact (unless you both agree that you want to get drunk and get naked without any strings attached) and move on.|Time and distance...cements friendships if there is one and erases involvement if there wasn't really any grounds for one in the first place.|Good luck.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Thank you all for the feed back.We both still care about each other and i have stopped responding to any text.I will reply in the future, and after the various comments the best thing is obviously time.She hasn't come over again, after i sent a text asking her not to as it is hard for both of us.She is hurting like myself and has told me that, but accepts that we both wanted to move forward.Slowly seems the best option.Cheers!

  reply

  like