F53
fwb or fb
April 09 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
Anything to get into your pants. Lovely juicy pants they are too.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Lots of guys will tell you whatever you want to hear if it means they get in your pants!Note I said lots, Not all. I think there are plenty of genuine decent blokes out there who want what you want.How do you tell the difference....sorry can't help there.orSometimes even with the best of intentions the deal will be one night only for one reason or another.Cheers Felonius
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RHP User
14 years ago
If only men were like instant pasta,just add water and stir,life would be sooo much easier.Me I prefer my pasta freshly made with care and attention paid to the sauce. Finding someone who suits us is a similar process,takes time ,care and attention.Sometimes after the first taste we realize the recipe just aint right and we start again.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Honesty is always the best policy.
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RHP User
14 years ago
The bottom line is that most men do not go for the FB/FWB scenario.....especially in the age bracket that you have mentioned on your profile.... Theres a game out there that us women are unaware of its called..... "He who can screw as many women as they can before he turns 50 .....WINS !!!!" Most of the guys in their 40's have all just come out of long term relationships....ended for whatever reason..and most of them have lost their house (or half of it ) their super (same) , the furniture, the car, the dog, paying child support and they are pissed...to make themselves feel better they root around...and more power to them....thats fine and plenty of profiles on here say quite clearly that they arent into a relationship...and see thats the thing..us women will say a FB/FWB isnt a relationship..but it is to them.....we expect men to commit beyond the 7 minutes that they capable of committing to whilst they are playing the above mentioned game..and they just simply cant.... Oh occassionally two people hook up and it works, but usually because they have hooked up as a one niter to begin with..they wake up next to each other the next day and go.."Mmm that was ok, wouldnt mind seeing you again" and they do...and may see each other a couple of times, but then somewhere along the line a demand is made and not well received ...and the FB/FWB thing falls apart.........and then every so often it may turn into that that elusive thing called a relationship but its rare....winning Powerball has better odds An old friend of mine recently married...he was the King of Swing, the Royalty of the Root, the Master of the One Niter..it was to some amsuement that I received a invitation to his wedding..he literally was the last person on earth that I saw making a commitment..when I asked him why he was getting married (and I must admit I was surprised at his choice of bride but thats another story) he said simply " I turned 50 last year and realised I didnt want to be alone when I turned 55 !!" ....he married a casual FB - they got engaged and married all within 6 months..will it work out ? who knows..but I reckon there was something to be said in his comment So JP from my own experience..you'd be better of mounting a expedition to locate the Lochness Monster...I reckon you would have more success...or settle for the one Niter, that may or may not lead to something....but as you know we live in a FIFO city, where many men are looking at a place to park their dick for a week on their swing with no hassles and no expectations... Am I cyncial ?? probably ...but I write of my own experience, n searching for exactly the same thing....and as Felonious states , there are some lovely genuine guys out there................................somewhere... dwelling in the Lost City of Atlantis...methinks !!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
How can you tell if you even want them as a FB or FWB without having the sex first? You might get on great out of the sack..enjoy the same restaurants, movies, walks along the beach and the rest of the boring stuff...but when it comes to bumping beautifuls...maybe it just won't work for whatever reason...no use flogging a dead horse and going back again and again! . Whatever happened to the meeting with no expectations? Sorry but I think most of you girls live in fantasy land...this is not a Hollywood movie where everything turns up roses...it is real life where you find the shit lovers and the great lovers and can take it from there! When you find someone that you are happy with and they are happy with you (don't forget it is a 2 way street) then and only then can you discuss if you want to be FWB or not! Hugs...xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
slk27.. i can honestly say i fall into the catagory you quoted.early fourties,had relationships go bad,had to replace everything .pay high child suppport...so yeah bit of playing around is good,,that if you can get it..lot of people advertise want fb of fwb benifit ,but dont want to meet up or pre judge people from profiles..the people ive met have said i so different to how i come across on profile or chat to.... now juicy pants,, fwb or fb.is no more then a booty call when it suits you..in my younger day they were called csp...casual sex partner... but nobody wants casual sex .. makes people feel slutty,,but then nobody wants to be a booty call either... mabe you should find nice guy to date.get the going out thing,meals, pub, movies and all the sex you want to boot and not have to feel bad after
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RHP User
14 years ago
I would have to agree, that finding a FWB is nigh on impossible. I spent years here and on other sites searching for just that someone.I always believed that I had enough love for more than one person.The cold hard light of reality, dictated though that, that dream be safely folded up and packedaway in the suitcase of lifes unrealised hopes and dreams.Thankfully one woman thought I was worthy of having around....love you Kj.Cheers Felonius
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'm trying to capture a relationship similar to one I had for many years but I guess trully bisexual women are rarer than I thought.
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RHP User
14 years ago
was here as a single previously..... looking for a fwb..... found a few ladies, did quite well actually... one in particular became a very good friend....... success is definitely possible here, and for some, love is on the cards as well, just be open eyed and open minded while you look............(one gal I met was a 'plain Jane', but with a lick of makeup and a sexy evening dress,she turned out to be a goddess)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Well I find if you focus on the friendship part and not he benefits well it does work with men in their 40's. Are you expecting exclusivity in your FWB arrangements ? I agree with Funloving in this instance, the FWB develops over time and yes I am after that aswell.... and I think if you have chemistry, have great sex and truly have friendship in mind then you can find these situations. I have... but that may be because my expectations are different.xxMeeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi everyone, I have been lucky and have made close good friends with people I have met on RHP which are now FWBs. Each is special in their own way. Going out to socialise and/or staying in to get sensual. The hard bit is finding the personality that you click with. Enjoying each others company is the key, the rest follows and includes respect and trust, and toe curling fun :) without pressure or expectations of anything else. Its out there, just be open to it developing, without expecting to find it from every meet. You will be surprised, I sure was! SF xx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi Juicy Just read your profile. It is very straight to the point and honesty is always good. My question to you is, if you were a guy and wanted a FWB what would you be looking at in a womans profile that would make you want to befriend her, take her out, enjoy her company and some sexy fun with her as an ongoing thing? There is nothing in your profile that suggests you are a fun person to be with. Please don't throw daggers at me but it does sound a little demanding. Sorry just my observation! SF xx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'easygoinguy4u'slk27.. i can honestly say i fall into the catagory you quoted.early fourties,had relationships go bad,had to replace everything .pay high child suppport...so yeah bit of playing around is good,,that if you can get it..lot of people advertise want fb of fwb benifit ,but dont want to meet up or pre judge people from profiles..the people ive met have said i so different to how i come across on profile or chat to.... now juicy pants,, fwb or fb.is no more then a booty call when it suits you..in my younger day they were called csp...casual sex partner... but nobody wants casual sex .. makes people feel slutty,,but then nobody wants to be a booty call either... mabe you should find nice guy to date.get the going out thing,meals, pub, movies and all the sex you want to boot and not have to feel bad after if you ever get over to the east i'll gladly be your booty call i think if you go in with no expectations and have your eyes wide open then nothing can go wrong....just go with the flow and you'll be amazed at what comes along Hugs
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Hesione' If only men were like instant pasta,just add water and stir,life would be sooo much easier.Certainly no shortage of two-minute doo.. err noodles, out there.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I agree with Funloving that you can't pre-arrange a FWB arrangement until you have met to see if you are actually are sexually compatible. However, if you mean guys that tell you they are up for a FWB arrangement when in actual fact, they have no intention of anything more than a one-off, then that comes down to some people just saying whatever is needed to get that one-off. Taking on board advice previously given in the forums about this, I would screen, screen and screen some more. Surely if the other person is looking for the same then they would also want to establish mutual desires up front.Having said that, there are no guarantees, on RHP or the 'real world' and you will still encounter those who simply just love the chase - no matter how long it takes. Even if you establish same desired arrangement and connect online with someone and then after one night, three nights, it still may fizzle. If only there was a black light that could detect chemistry and compatibility ;P Would just be nice to cut out the bed-notchers from the start.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Sensory_fun' Hi everyone, I have been lucky and have made close good friends with people I have met on RHP which are now FWBs. Each is special in their own way. Going out to socialise and/or staying in to get sensual. The hard bit is finding the personality that you click with. Enjoying each others company is the key, the rest follows and includes respect and trust, and toe curling fun :) without pressure or expectations of anything else. Its out there, just be open to it developing, without expecting to find it from every meet. You will be surprised, I sure was! SF xx Some of us can only hope and dream of this kind of success. Congratulations to you SF Skilful
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'SLK27' The bottom line is that most men do not go for the FB/FWB scenario.....especially in the age bracket that you have mentioned on your profile.... Theres a game out there that us women are unaware of its called..... "He who can screw as many women as they can before he turns 50 .....WINS !!!!" Most of the guys in their 40's have all just come out of long term relationships....ended for whatever reason..and most of them have lost their house (or half of it ) their super (same) , the furniture, the car, the dog, paying child support and they are pissed...to make themselves feel better they root around...and more power to them....thats fine and plenty of profiles on here say quite clearly that they arent into a relationship...and see thats the thing..us women will say a FB/FWB isnt a relationship..but it is to them.....we expect men to commit beyond the 7 minutes that they capable of committing to whilst they are playing the above mentioned game..and they just simply cant.... Oh occassionally two people hook up and it works, but usually because they have hooked up as a one niter to begin with..they wake up next to each other the next day and go.."Mmm that was ok, wouldnt mind seeing you again" and they do...and may see each other a couple of times, but then somewhere along the line a demand is made and not well received ...and the FB/FWB thing falls apart.........and then every so often it may turn into that that elusive thing called a relationship but its rare....winning Powerball has better odds An old friend of mine recently married...he was the King of Swing, the Royalty of the Root, the Master of the One Niter..it was to some amsuement that I received a invitation to his wedding..he literally was the last person on earth that I saw making a commitment..when I asked him why he was getting married (and I must admit I was surprised at his choice of bride but thats another story) he said simply " I turned 50 last year and realised I didnt want to be alone when I turned 55 !!" ....he married a casual FB - they got engaged and married all within 6 months..will it work out ? who knows..but I reckon there was something to be said in his comment So JP from my own experience..you'd be better of mounting a expedition to locate the Lochness Monster...I reckon you would have more success...or settle for the one Niter, that may or may not lead to something....but as you know we live in a FIFO city, where many men are looking at a place to park their dick for a week on their swing with no hassles and no expectations... Am I cyncial ?? probably ...but I write of my own experience, n searching for exactly the same thing....and as Felonious states , there are some lovely genuine guys out there................................somewhere... dwelling in the Lost City of Atlantis...methinks !!! and might I add the issue of Trust. Once bitten...... (or some of us twice bitten.....) you know the saying. Skilful xxooxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Man: I would love that kind of relationship.... I get back to perth anywhere between every 5 or 7 weeks for one week.. in that time, I have household/property things to deal with..and family things.. I have a 15yo lad I visit.. and daughters I take for Dinners BUT would love somone to call, or be able to be called...for a dinner.. or a movie.. or a drive, or to accompany me if I decide to go up the country for any reason.. or even to spend virtually the entire week with.. (IF we could handle it) Or same same.. If she feels comfortable enough to invite me to accompany her whereever she choses .. SURE: it IS a relationship: We both would have our own places.. our own friends and families, and our own lives.. even to the point of other lovers.. Does the FWB always have to be a sexual one? Maybe it is like the lyrics.. "Looking for love in all the wrong places.." cavey.. (FWC)
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have absolutely no problmes finding FWB's at all. Most of it is the attitude of you women out there. Stop bitching about what YOU want and start acting like you mean what you say. Sex is just that...S.E.X. a physical release and too many women place undue meaning on a great time in the sack, we get all emotional and start expecting more. . I have several FWB's and it is great, we contact each other weekly (sometimes daily) and get together when we can.....no expectations on either side. I also have a couple of great FB's. They rock on into town (or I do) having given me a little advanced notice, we get together, fuck like rabbits and leave...not to contact each other again for some time. Minimal conversation, plenty of action. Try changing your profile a little...it actually reads like you are looking for a full on relationship without the live in part. Concentrate on the "friend" side of the relationship first as the sex is always going to be secondary to the friendship. Of course the men are going to promise you everything under the sun, whether you want that or not, They have thier own agenda and most just want to get thier dick wet. (MOST.......not all) . Finally....if all you want is a regular FB...try a married man...you may not get the dinner out that you so desire but hey....there will be no strings attached as he has all the strings he can cope with already! He just wants sex!
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RHP User
14 years ago
If i was to soften my profile it would be on RVSP
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Hawt1
13 years ago
I am not seeing a problem with your profile or what you want.I thought it was clear.Also, I'm kinda happy to tick all the boxes except the living nearby part... alas.Should I keep you posted if this changes??Hehehe :D
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RHP User
13 years ago
so many guys out there ruining it for the rest of us genuine blokes :(
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RHP User
13 years ago
sorry i got confused reading all the other stuff.what was it you wanted to hear again?but, FWB or FB? i did not know there was a difference. on the rare occasions i've been privileged enough to be part of one of these arrangements it was something that was not easy to find at all. and treasured while it ran it's course.
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RHP User
13 years ago
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RHP User
13 years ago
I fall in with handmaiden, your profile reads like your looking for a lock in relationship. "Permanent" fuck that word off quick smart. That word scares me,,,and I'm married! To be honest, I think you actually looking for whats called a 'normal' relationship. I had a few of these in my 20's, commited, full time relationahips. The other party was called my girlfriend. I worked, they worked, pretty intense at the beginning, calming down after the first month or so. Meet for meals, drinks, sleep over, fuck like bunnies. No one ever intended on getting married or living in the others hip pocket. One lasted over 2 years, always an amicable split. It just became time to move on. I'm not sure you're in the right place to find what your looking for. Just an opinion, limited to my own experience.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think it is best to have in known what you would like to have frm the start..ie...friend with benefits or just a fuck here and there..i think when the exclusivity word comes into play then the water gets a bit muddy ..unless thats what it turns into and you both want it that way..
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'juicypants' If i was to soften my profile it would be on RVSP Well, considering you're after a Friend With Benefits, that's not such a bad idea.In my opinion you're making the same mistakes as many of the guys here who complain about not getting the attention they want. Your profile has very little to offer your target demographic. Granted I'm not in your age bracket nor city, but if I was this sort of arrangement might appeal to someone like me.Your profile wouldn't interest me at all though because it says so little about you, and what it does say screams 'high maintenance'. It's aggressive, but not in a playful way.Here's a bunch of specific lines that make me squick and why:1. 'Permanent' FWB - That word, as for many guys, gives me the willies. It's a silly thing, but 'permanent' connotes being locked into something without being able to change it, whether you enjoy it or not. 'Ongoing', for all intents and purposes, means the same in this situation, but sounds less demanding.2. 'Late 30s... over 30s wine bar'... 'only between 35-42'... 'not reply to anyone in their 20s' - Obsessed with age much? Your profile states you're 39. You've got a defined age limit of 35. If you're going to a wine bar, then it's not likely to be populated with 18 year-olds. The constant emphasis on age just seems redundant, and a little obsessive. For me, someone uncomfortable around people of different ages seems a bit maladjusted. There's no problem being clear in your criteria, but don't overdo it. And relax. If there are a couple of late-20s in your wine bar, we probably won't bite.3. 'Fine restaurants' and 'wine bars' - translation... "how much is this broad going to cost me?" I ain't sayin' she's a golddigger, but... 'Foodie' is such a less demanding a description. Get creative - "someone who enjoys matching their vino to their steak au poivre with tarragon mash"*'.4. ''Serious' about having a FWB relationship' - Weeoo weeoo weeoo. Oh no, it's the fun police!5. 'Not here to screw at of men here to find...' - Huh? Wha? There are a few grammatical issues and typos in your profile. Fix them. When I'm 40 and looking to take a fancy dame to my favourite over-30s wine bar, I'd think twice about messaging someone that mixed up 'there' with 'their'.But it's not all doom and gloom. What your profile does well:1. Makes your expectations clear - believe it or not I think this is a good thing. However, there's a difference between "selective" and "overbearingly fussy". I can guarantee you that 80% of the 24 year-olds aren't going to read your four warnings about age and will message you regardless. Dem's de breaks. 2. You have pics in the Hot and RedHot categories - This will get you loads of attention. Much of it however will be of the "she's hot, I'd love to throw her down on the table, do her, and leave in the morning without calling again" variety. It comes with the territory, and no amount of protestation will ward them away.So, this insight into the male psyche, despite its critical nature, comes from a place of love. Tough love, maybe, but hun, if you're trying to attract a higher profile clientele, then plastic knives and disposable napkins ain't gonna cut 'it.*Yes, I DID just Google 'French food' to sound fancy and illustrate my point. I would personally respond well to "someone who's as at home with a steak au poivre with tarragon mash as a Big Mac."
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Smilingwithfun
13 years ago
Got to say i'm glad i'm 52. If i was in my Forties it seems i'm stereotyped. As ive got older i feel i have come to realise that we are all different & yes there are some who carry previous hurt. Yet each day dawns & brings new hope. Yes ive been hurt before, but not all of us carry the hurt & allow it to prejudge people before we know them. Life is about living & enjoying the journey. Glad i'm who i am
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RHP User
13 years ago
Everything works for me except your way too young ! cough splutter !
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RHP User
13 years ago
thanks for your autobiography ................
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RHP User
13 years ago
thanks for your essay - really appreciated i'm glad im picky in my life :-)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'juicypants' thanks for your essay - really appreciated i'm glad im picky in my life :-) No worries. Thanks for the passive aggressive blocking and down-vote on my profile.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I found it both helpful and informative discussion. And loved your very valid points. My profile atm is just as experimental as I am, my rhp friends say I am "going through a phase" and that i must get some very "interesting" responses, which of course I am....and enjoying... Often I believe, what we project is what we get back in turn. I find its never wise to blame the mirror for what is found in its reflection, and as such, what we attract here is often reflected in how we projected our profile outward to other members in the first place... Even how we are on forum threads only adds or subtracts to that as well... Gives people an insight into us, even though coming to know us more would require more time together than an fb.. may be juicy, you might need to relax a bit more.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Juicy pants.. I read as follows.. She wants to meet someone who is 1) comfortable in who he is 2) financially independant 3) interested in frequenting places a little more "Refined" then the corner pub, or Workers club. 4) someone who is NOT a player, (Or at least, who can treat her as though he is NOT one) 5) Sex?? she never really suggested anything here (after all... couldn't a FWB be someone who can "Escort" and not "Sex" you?) I dont have a problem with this. Maybe her profile wording needs an adjustment, but, what she is asking is surely fine. IN FACT: I would volunteer my services if I were in her age requirements. Herein lies the problem - I do ALL of the above, without expecting sex, and without desire to receive anything except honesty in return. Why won't she accept my offer (if I were to forward it) ? Because my IMAGE, be it visual,actual or perceived prosssibly doesnt fit into her ideals for a "Night out" or as a "Trophy" "What will my friends think?" "What will my family say?" Where are the guys that she is ultimately looking for? 1) MOST of them are in strong relationships or married already. 2) Many are getting laid in pubs and clubs 3) Others arehappily gay..and out with their boyfriends.. doing EXACTLY what Juicypants wants them to do with her. Caveman (isn't there a single fckn cavewoman left on this fckn planet?) (grins*
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RHP User
13 years ago
There are men who are looking for the same - a "friend with benefits" rather than fuckbuddy. You're not saying if this can be excclusive or not, which I think is a problem for some. Your ideal partner would be attached/married that would be able to screw with a consent of his partner - unfortunately this is not common. Or look for a swinging couple where the men is allowed to play alone - but in my experience most ladies are more likely to look for some commitment to them, not to play simply temporarily and knowing they are not the "main" partner... My wife rejected swinging, she gradually warms up to the idea of me playing on my own, but there would be limitations that you would not like judging from your description :-)
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RHP User
13 years ago
I would love to develop a casual/regular sex friendship with someone like you, but you are as far from Tasmania as it is possible to get.Lots of guys who aren't fucked up by baggage want a no strings relationship, a bit of sex and someone who can just be a fun friend. Trouble is people get attached and want to create some kind of ownership or guarantee that it will continue. Humans all suffer from insecurity, I'm sure you know.If you make the situation clear and keep reminding your lover of the limitations that are part of your arrangement, they won't start to imagine there is more to it than there is.You need to start out with a few drinks and a one night stand first, just to see if the sex is there. If not, then you can see if you can find a non-sexual friendship there or if it is a total wash.The worst that will happen is that you will have a night of mediocre sex and someone who is offended, but no longer a part of your life.Or you get a crazy stalker, which can happen with dating too.Good luck and I hope you at least get a few nice fucks.Regards,
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