F32
is anyone the same?
May 12 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'm the same. I don't have vaginal orgasms, only clitoral. I'm 39 and it's been that way since I was 15. I absolutely love love love sex. I've had a lot of amazing sex. But there's always a tiny little thing missing. I've tried anything I can think of but to no avail. I'll keep trying :) Other women on here have described the same problem but have eventually been able to orgasm. I'm sure you'll get lots of good advice here but it might also be worth doing a search through the forums because the question has been asked and answered a few times :) All the best x
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think is a common 'problem', and from past experiences i can tell you that has a lot to do with your mind!What i mean is, that the more you think about it and the harder you try the harder it is to "get there"!And just as important is the connection that you have with your sexual partner and the reasons why you're doing it in the particular time.Now, I'm not saying that that is all it is, because obviously whoever you are doing it with needs to know what the heck he's doing and needs to know "you" sexually, what you like, what you don't and where are the areas that makes you shake!!!Believe it or not, happens to men too....a few times I haven't been able to reach orgasms even after a very long intercourse, and I can tell you that the only reason of that happening was in my head, either because I didn't feel a connection with the person I was with, or because of other things that were going on in my life at the time, my head was the one stopping me to fully enjoy what I normally enjoy to do best!! ;)Good thing is that now i've learnt to control that and make the most of it!! ;)I'm sure that you will get there and if you need any help.... well... I'll be happy to!xx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Very rarely it happens. Do not worry about it. As you get older you will realise that it is not the orgasm is only part of the journey anyway. The majority of women actually need the extgernal stimulation in order to achieve orgasm. My question is...that at 18 why are you even on this site? Go out into the big wide world first.......
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi and welcome! I am not sure on the percentage but there are a hell of a lot of women out there that can't orgasm with sex...so really you are not alone! You need to explore with positions and find what works for YOU! I cannot cum at all in missionary...it does nothing for me! I find that when I get on top of the guy...laying down with my legs beside his and he leans up that bit to suck on my nipples give me the deepest orgasms as well as clitoral orgasms...You need to take control of the rythm of the way you like it! As you start feeling the orgasm build deep inside you .. you need to get the guy to lay there and do NOTHING...nothing kills an orgasm more than when a guy changes it up or grabs your hips and goes faster when you are about to cum! You need to be vocal too...telling him when it feels good and "oh yeah, just like that" and if they do change it up .. smack him on the back of the head with the bedside lamp and yell "I TOLD YOU I LIKE IT JUST LIKE THAT...NOW LISTEN TO ME" hahaha! Seriously hun...find someone that is patient and that is there for YOUR satisfaction as well as his own...It is like finding a needle in a haystack...but there are some men out there that love for the woman to cum first! Have fun experimenting! Hugs...xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
I laughed and laughed at that :) But you hit on something that's really true for me and that has both always embarrassed me and I think held me back. On top doesn't work for me but missionary and doggy do, and I get pretty involved (as in, active, not just lying there) in both. Times when I think 'oh my lord, maybe it's going to happen' I need to then stay very still, breathe and relax, and for the guy to keep doing exactly what he's doing exactly the way he's doing it, for as long as he can. The thing that stops me is that what I've described here sounds like the very definition of a dead root. No-one wants to be a dead root so I get super self conscious about just staying still and focussing on intensifying the sensations. So I move, and the moment is lost. I'm wondering what all of you forum blokes think of that? To the OP, it's taken me years to be this open about this and other issues. Kudos to you, young one, for putting it out there as you have x
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RHP User
14 years ago
Seeing as though there are no other men responding to this, maybe they don't care I don't know but lets just say this.When very young, 19 I had the pleasure of an older lady 27, TEACH me about the love of a woman. Now I'm not saying I'm perfect but I do know ever since then I've never had a problem being with someone who has experienced similar things SammyJo & Angelic.Funloving nailed it in one. Slap the bugger over the head and get him to listen to the rhythm of your body. Get him to take the time to feel you and experience you and what sets you alight. Don't try to please him, try to please you. Too many nuff nuffs I call them, are only out there for their immediate pleasure. And lets face it, immediately after they couldn't care less. If you are experiencing this, by god move on. My satisfaction and pleasure comes from seeing a woman alive like she's never felt before. Sex isn't just about intercourse. It's about two people sharing themselves, openly and wholeheartedly.The build up of sexual tension is what will begin to allow your body to find the heights you are aching to let explore. Being able to enjoy the time in finding not only each other but yourself is what you need to find from your partner. When with a woman, I don't need to orgasm to feel fulfilled and I'll be the first to tell you I couldn't be happier with the outcome because I know my partner has been put first, listened to and honoured for the woman she is. Oh and don't worry, I don't miss out. For being such an attentive lover, there is a lot lot more I get in return. More than I could ever have hoped for.Hope you find that magic you searching for.
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RHP User
14 years ago
To orgasm, you have to be selfish. Lil-bit I am just like that , everything goes still, I almost hold my breath. I cant keep my eys open at all. A good lover will know he will feel you building up to it. He will notice your body, he will pace himself to your desire. I was married for 18 years and never had an orgasm. After my divorce a guy picked me up in a bar, I thought poor bugga he will be very disappointed. I think I nearly killed him, he just knew what to do But then I had also made up my mind to be selfish in my desire that it was about my pleasure and that a man cant give me what I need, I have to take it. So far its worked a treat. I know now how I work, cant cum standing up, nor on top , nor doggie, have to be on my back. Many women learn a lot from this site, as they can actually talk freely to other women here on the forums and get some good advice. And many guys can read the forums and learn more about how to pleasure a woman In the end though, we are all different and some women are unlucky in that they may go their whole life and never have an orgasm. I have tried to teach my girls to stand over a mirror look at how they are , and to encourage them to masturbate. How can you learn if you do not practice on yourself , once you master the art of orgasm yourself then you can guide a man to your pleasure. Its not easy to free yourself to pleasure, sex is still a taboo thing. For young women you will still be conisderd a slut if you play around. But the art of sex is a skill and practice helps you to improve your skills. Diversity of lovers , not letting the boys bonk you without your pleasure will help. Try to pick a man not a boy. A man is not measured by his age when it comes to sex, its his attitude that seperates the men from the boys. If he talks about what he will doTO you, chances are he is full of shit. A man will show you what he can do FOR you, his pleasure will be after yours.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am 50 had my first one last weekend... Insert cute woo woo symbol. .. Tho, It was not as good...just clit orgasim...no G :(
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RHP User
14 years ago
You're lucky Sammyjo, some unfortunate women never orgasm at all. I met one such lass (that I know of) and it was very much a source of frustration for her and her partners in relationships. Another lady I talked to had only had one orgasm and it was thanks to the Hitachi Magic Wand. All of her previous and subsequent sexual adventures, including even DP with two men, didn't ding the bell. Another lady I was talking to said that for her the experience of clitoral and vaginal orgasms were different. She described that when its clitorial, it builds up and up and she tightens her whole body up to "catch" the orgasm. I suppose it might be similar to what men experience, since the clitoris is a sensitive organ of erectile tissue and sort-of "corresponds" to the penis, in a sense. But as for vaginal pleasure and orgasm men have no basis of comparison. (I've heard rumours about the prostate gland giving similar experiences for men but I'm not convinced the two are all that comperable.) So this lady said she had to learn a different response in order to orgasm through penetration alone. She described it as the opposite to clitoral stimulation, not tensing up to ride to the crest of the wave, not trying to "catch" the orgasm. But to relax completely and just let it happen. Trying to get there seems to chase it further away. But hey, that's just a man playing Chinese whispers with a particular woman's experience. I'm not equipped with the neccessary organs to be any kind of expert.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi I have found that its ether the fack that who you have been having sex with doesn't care and only thinks for himself or if he is going down on you you are not relaxed and receptive . For the virginal orgasim you need to find out what's your most favourite possi and be taken that way . I have found its easier for the fem to be on top and make him be in you all the way , then I want you to slowly grind your clit into his pelvic and increase your thrusting accordingly , if he starts getting to turned on and will finish befour you tell him to imagine his mother ridding him . Lol Max .
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RHP User
14 years ago
I didn't orgasm with my first husband at all.In fact I loathed having sex with him so much, I would often show my disdain by reading a book.He just wanted sex,with no foreplay or thought for my needs,both of us were very young,I was eighteen and he was twenty-one.It wasn't until I met husband number two that I realized just what I had been missing.I was twent-three and so was he. A skillful lover is what you need sammy ,but the other news is,we women don't reach our sexual peak until our thirties. However, if you are having orgasms by clitoral stimulation ,that is how most women orgasm.There is so much information available to both men and women about sexual pleasure and how to maximise it,and of course you do know,practice makes perfect x Hugs H
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think we should not say, its a problem not to cum through penetration only. It isnt one, it just is. Only we still have this old believe we can cum through penetration, and when not there must be something wrong , its not. Find out. Our vagina is constructed to give birth which is lots of pain, so how can the vagina be so senstive to pleasure......we would not be able to give birth. The clit is and was always our plesuare point......only we didnt know for hundreds of years... because pleasuare as only for men and not for women. Now, lucky we know better...and most men too. I have a tiny clit without stimulation with fingers or the tongue I will never cum. I dont have to ask for it men know. The men I choose know. Maybe I was always lucky...I dont know ? maybe comming from Germany, we have been more open in sex education then here, and I am not influenced by religious parents....and I also masturbate a lot. I love my body, its all what I have, its mine and it wants to cum and it has the right to cum, and it will cum. I ahve never faked an orgasum either, I know soem women do or did, just to please the male. I masturbate and I am 55. I would say educate your self what the clit looks like and how deep it reaches inside our vagina, then you know more. Knowledge is power, you need to know about your body. I hope and wish you many great orgasms....its just awesome.
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RHP User
14 years ago
thankyou for all your comments, i will take it all on board :)and.. here4funnn, message me ;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Firstly - from serious perspective - whilst i understand where you are coming from. My ex wife had the same set up - once across her sexual paddock had she ever had a vaginal orgasm. All the rest were from vibrators, fingers and tongues. I think her take was to enjoy the orgasm she was having, because at least she was having one. And i'm not trying to make light of your situation :)I do wonder though, if really anyone orgasms like all the other people do. I hope that you can find your vaginal orgasms though.I do have to say though, and I hear all the great feedback about vaginal orgasms (they do sound great), from a purely male perspective here - Its a hell of a lot easier when you only have one type of orgasm. ;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'sammyjo233'thankyou for all your comments, i will take it all on board :)and.. here4funnn, message me ;) You can message him hun...you get one free message a week as a female Guest...one of the many perks of RHP! Hugs...xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Thanks Fun for pointing that out... hahahaYou're a champ! is a good thing for us guest that are happy to wait for something good to come along... it also does weed out a whole lot of time wasters because the one contacting you when your'e "just a guest" are mostly the ones that really are interested...!but if you can't wait for your free msg you can always try working out my nickname to send me a mail! ;p
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RHP User
14 years ago
and know most women i know work it out at some point.i think the comment above about it being harder the more you want it is very close to the mark. relax, find a patient bloke and enjoy the journey..hugs.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'm 48 and I've never cum vaginally.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I don't either however I can squirt only with someone im into tho and feel comfortable with however it is not a feeling of having an orgasm ... generally in order for me to have an orgasm my clit must be stimulated aswel
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RHP User
14 years ago
did you check out my new pic??? properly?
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RHP User
14 years ago
While you have been sexually active for a while, at 18, your body, while it is that of a woman, your mindset may not be where you would like it to be. You need to enjoy the sex for yourself. Tell him what you want, where you want it, how you want it. If he's not prepared to help you cum, you need to find a man that can, not a boy dressed as a man. A real man WILL listen to you and WILL help you get the result you deserve. Me,at 52, you may think, "what would he know?" My experiences over the years and the "training" I've had from women over the years has been very helpful. Enjoy sex for yourself, then pass on the knowledge. Good luck.
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QLDtwo4fun
14 years ago
Give it time, there is nothing wrong that you need to 'fix'. Everything takes practice to improve your performance, whether it's bike riding, wine tasting or tennis. Sex gets even more complex because your playing with a partner. Sometimes it can only be as good as your partner let's it be. At 18 I'd guess most of your partners are still on their 'P' plates too, so relax don't worry about things that don't get you off, enjoy the things that do. Child birth also seems to change women's bodies, their confidence, sexuality and sensitivity, enjoy lifes ride, no pun intended, with good partners and time the range of activities that bring you to orgasm will increase.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I cant contact you!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Personally, I can count on one hand the number of times I've orgasmed in company, and its only been a recent thing due to two factors: familiarity with your own body and relaxation. The first is fairly self-explanatory, knowing what works for you and what doesn't and communicating that to your partner. The second has been a particular hurdle for me as despite being 22, I'm very independent in my lifestyle and career and always like to be in control, which is also the main reason why I hate drinking excessively. Sexual release has always been about a release of tension, and unfortunately for me I'm tense almost all of the time, and it takes a little bit of extra 'something' about the person to tip me over the edge. I've found the meditation exercises I've been doing recently in my yoga classes have helped a little :) It's not something that will happen overnight, be patient.
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RHP User
14 years ago
then i read it out to the other folk in the room and the laughed too.Quoting 'jensman1903' I'm 48 and I've never cum vaginally.
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