F109
unwritten law
January 24 2009
Comments
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RHP User
17 years ago
Actually, i had this happen to me only very recently, only rather than one of my friends it was one of her male friends... We were just "friends with benefits' but decided wed work towards something else, so over time i really began to like her... Until one day an old flame from years back jumps in and steals her from me... Now i don't even have the friendship that i valued... My typical luck with girls... Guess ill just get back to the meaningless sex lol, Im good at that!! Jamie
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RHP User
17 years ago
not since i was a teenager ms roxy.. who the hell do you hang out with?? LRE (genuinely surprised)
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RHP User
17 years ago
You can trust your mates with your money or your life but not with your wife.
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Firery
17 years ago
Never loan your Wife or Lawnmower otherwise they will both come back fucked ;o)
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RHP User
17 years ago
Yes guys do it too. They are called white ants. One guy I knew years ago thought he was the bees knees and always tried to white ant any babe any guy was with. He never pulled one of mine but he did try. We used to rag him about it. Mars
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RHP User
17 years ago
Some time ago a friend with benefits wanted a 3some so i introduced her, online, to a guy i'd met at a gang bang. The idea was they'd get to know each other a little before we get to share her. I thought he was ok. He almost immediately tried to move in on her, cut me out. He became a nuisance and she blocked him. Some time later i saw him again at another party and he apologised. Too bad. If he had just been real about the whole thing we could have all had what we wanted...
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RHP User
17 years ago
I hang out with some gorgeous people ..... :D it was just a general observation about a situation I have seen so many as I sit back and watch people ......... was interested to hear what people have to say about it that all xxxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
my gf's and i have a rule called first dibs. whoever calls it gets it. no exceptions.
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RHP User
17 years ago
I had a friend once that was keen on this guy. She had a knockout, turned out to be a rather larger lady. This guy wasn't turned off by that just her attitude. Suffice to say he had the hots for her friend who was married at the time. In the end they got together and the friends stopped talking. That couple stayed together and got married in the end. That couple is us. So even the opposite can happen.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Yes. it's high school lessons all over again isnt it. Ive seen that and worse... guys who set out to bag a married women for the prupose of causing destruction... brought on by envy. Whatever kind of relationship you are in, you can't take your lover for granted. As for muscling in well, people are opportunists and that's just human nature, so .. ahem... you can't take your lover for granted. You can be true to yourself though... if I see a romance blossuming, I tend to back off and try not to interfere but that's just who I am.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Interesting topic msroxy. I have noticed that everyone has a different set of unwritten laws, and you just can't expect everyone to play by the rules you subscribe to. But why do these unwritten laws exist - at least for some people? It sounds like you expect your friends to put your friendship first and love second. That is a recipe for not finding happiness.
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RHP User
17 years ago
does have stronger chemistry with one of your friends.. then all involved should say nothing and practice extreme denial.. after all this is how modern community functions LOL LRE (looking for a river in egypt)
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RHP User
17 years ago
ok, perhaps my take on this is a longer term one, that said , I ask the question, seriously, who are we to judge others for taking a life decision. Do any of us really know what the future holds, what right do we have to judge others who feel they may have found the right one for them and take that chance to find out. Would you begrudge ur own Children for making a teenage choice that they felt their current partner was perhaps not the best choice and as such they decided to take a different path and get to know a new partner. Think about it. This could be your childs life time partner. I dont dispute, we would all have serious concerns and heart felt sorrow for the duped individual, no doubt , how many of us have been there ???. I no I have ! That said, those of us that have been there, how much have you learnt and grown from it. Is heart break not a lesson we all need to learn and grow from. I myself have been on both sides of this fence. I Had a partner of 7 years plus leave me for my best mate who I had grown up with from the age of 5. Who do I blame ? At the time I blamed them both and my life was filled with hatred anger and thoughts of revenge !!!! I become so obsessed with the situation that a friends Father (a police Officer) warned me, "you will be arrested son if you dont learn to control ur anger and learn a new way to live" I wont go into the details of that meeting, but that man, a compassionate caring and understanding man , taught me a new way of thinking about life. From that time I have only grown. Mentally, emotionally, and as a human being. I now know, I have no right to criticise others for decisions they make that affect their lives. Only "I" am in control of "my" own feelings. If I had continued to blame others for what I saw as my hurt feelings, it was only myself that would continue to hurt. I had to grow, take a new step, allow others to live and make life choices, after all we are only here once, who are we to tell others because of our own social concepts that they should sacrifice their own life in order to adhere to our social values !!! "The end result for me, after time for my hurt emotions to heal and a period of personal growth, I walked up to my childhood friend, shook his hand and gave him a manly hug, turned to my partner of 7 years, kissed her cheek whilst giving her the hug of a lifetime . I wished them both the best for the future and thanked for making me realise I had to grow up . It was not up to me to judge, criticise, or blame people for making life choices. The two best ever friends I had tought me the most important lesson of my life, I stiil carry that to this day !
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RHP User
17 years ago
Between myself and friends this is known as "grass cutting" odd name i know but thats what we have always refered to it as. The understanding between my friends is that if they have an interest in a woman then its totally off limits and so far all my friends including myself have adhered to this. It might be that were just all really good friends and tend not to envy one another, but to go after a friends girl or the girl he is interested is just not on. If you have friends that do this to you you might want to consider finding some new friends and tossing the trash to the curb.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Very well said Live4.. and i concur totally with you. For my own party, my partner of three years left me for my sister. I won't go into the details of the hatred and despair this put me through, suffice to say it was one of the worst times of my life. However, as time went on I truly came to realise that "the heart wills, what the heart wills". As Live4 for stated, no-one can see into the future and just because a friend may have feelings for someone, doesn't mean you should have to forfeit your chance and your RIGHT to have a happy life with someone. I have stood aside on both sides of this argument, only to realise later, that i had lost something that was potentially the best thing that ever happened to me... Surely we as a society haven't become so shallow that we would begrudge those we supposedly care about a real chance at happiness???
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RHP User
17 years ago
Just because you like/lust/desire/enjoy the company of someone does not make them your property - this applies to friends/lovers/partners/spouse. It is what they choose that counts. Sometimes they stay - sometimes they go - sometimes they like to keep you on edge. Some of the most passionate sex I ever received was after social gatherings when another woman showed interest. It was the way my significant other cemented her spot. When the reaction changed to no reaction at all it showed me where our relationship had ended up. On the other side you can give yourself a great deal of misery wondering what if ... when you did not make a move. There are always excuses not to act - fear of failure, fear of success, fear of humiliation, fear of upsetting someone, fear of being seen to do the wrong thing. A tenuous relationship is no real relationship at all if the other person does not value it. It is their choices that matter just as much as your choices. And that is why it hurts so very much.
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RHP User
17 years ago
I agree with you so much... if u respect your friend and she or he is happy and in love.. why try and " move in" on that person? knowin u are breakin your friends heart and your freindship? The world is so big.. find yourself another person.. so many people in this world who are lonely.. who are lookin for TRUE LOVE.. Be happy for your friend.. that she or he has found it first.. and continue with your own life and dreams.. tinks xx
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RHP User
17 years ago
took great consideration to reply to this post and have decided just to do it and no i am not having a go at anyone with what i am typing just general thoughts. ok girl likes guy ..... but guy only wants friends but girls doesnt get that point and she gets all hooked up...... is it then ok for the guy to make a choice that HE WANTS TO TRY SOMETHING NEW ????? over the past few weeks the nastiness in the room is quite bad between the girls, nasty whispers, nasty text messages, nasty emails. has anyone ever stopped to think that maybe it wasnt the girl that made the first move andAGAIN no i am not havin a go at anyone in particular just over some of the crap that has been goin around laterly
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RHP User
17 years ago
I have witnessed the nastiness in the room of late and while there has been accusations flying around and name calling, has anyone thought that it really does take 2 to tango..... And that this being a sex site means there will always be squabbling etc etc.... Why do people need to bring this into chat????? we all have at one stage or another had little tiffs in here, but why cant they keep it out of chat and not try and get others to choose sides... I for one know what it is like as i have seen just how nasty people can get... We need to deal with what ever is going on and be adult enough to move on... And yes i am talking from experience... Maybe others should take a leaf out of my book... U know the worst thing is i know the people who are involved in this and they all seem like lovely people....
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RHP User
17 years ago
I have posted something similar before and I believe it has the same reference here. Lust is within our control. Love is undeniable. xxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
its know among my friends as grass cutting too, probably a refernce to the whole never lend your wife or your lawnmower :P for me i figure if its someone you've just met, or a someone a friends a bit keen on but nothings going on, then may the better man win. obviously i wouldnt actively go out of my way to move in on her, but if theres chemistry between us too, no harm no foul. if you were automatically blocked from anyone that one of your friends is interested it, it would make life very difficult. HOWEVER!!! girlfriends/partners ARE off limits. ive had many a friends girlfriend who ive been quite taken with but thats just not on. even ex's, obviously depending on the situation, are generally off limits... its just not worth the drama and losing a mate over. thats my theory anyway :)
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RHP User
17 years ago
I am guessing that if someone moves in with your spouse then he becomes the one who mows the lawn, not you. Therefore he is cutting your grass ;)
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RHP User
17 years ago
that makes total sense :D
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RHP User
17 years ago
If this was a normal date and lifestyle relationship, ie the vanilla thing that everone goes through to meet new partners, then that was unfair, very unfair. If your talking on RHP then wakeup, thats what we are all here for, dating sites are better if you want long term relationships. :-)
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RHP User
17 years ago
Dating involves commitment, often leading to euphoria or disapointment. We are here primarily for fun, presumably. That doesn't mean its all a bed of roses, very far from it. Still before any of us starts complaining we should remember where we are and why we are here ;)
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RHP User
17 years ago
My father told me years ago two things you never lend out one is the lawn mower the other your wife he recond they would both come back fucked if at all.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Grasscutting isn't cool, unless the lawn is becoming like weeds. Last time I had something like this happen, was when I was 16, then again as a male anything with a female and pulse was fair game, not much difference to now. Luckily most of the people I consider as friends, don't usually like the same women, only time to me it's alright, is either if they are willing to share or their relationship is over, then it isn't grass cutting.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Your question reads as if people are possessions that you own and that everything is a competition. Maybe if you stopped thinking this way men wouldn't find the friend who is "moving in" more interesting and genuine than yourself? Maybe you have "moved aside" from some guy who found you fascinating and really wanted to get to know you better? Isn't who the guy likes important? Isn't the chemistry between two people really what matters? Attraction is a magic thing, why put rules around it?
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RHP User
17 years ago
Depends of the status of the relationship I suppose.
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RHP User
17 years ago
ive had some friends do this to me but i take it they r jealous and want what ive got so they try and take it and ive been very hurt by it and i let them go for it as i couldnt date a guy that i know a mate thinks is hot etc id always b wondering luckily those mates arent close mates anymore im a very loyal woman in relationships and friendships i could never do it but not all people r like that but it is a unwritten law for sure u dont do it never plenty for everyone no need to take someone elses or try to specially yr mate or someone u know thats bellow bellow shame on those that do
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RHP User
16 years ago
from a early 20s male. older ladies are yyyuummm
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RHP User
16 years ago
Love licking the creampie.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thanks for your post. I was always against grass cutting, but the way you have put it really made me think about it a whole new way. I'm totally against 'owning' people (except in computer games - fuck I'm a nerd) and so this whole idea of 'taking someone elses' really shouldn't apply. No one owns anyone, not even if you're married. From now on.. it's game on! Thanks!
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RHP User
16 years ago
I've had mates step aside as well as try to cut in, the later can sometime break a friendship. I've also had a couple of girls (cousins) who were both interested, the one I wanted stepped aside but I wasn't interested in her cousin, in the end I didn't get either of them. People can get pretty competitive at times. I take the view that if a girl can't decide from the start that I'm the better pick, then I wish her luck and let her go. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly this can turn some girls around if they think you wont lose any sleep over them.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I read this in secret women's business and have been itching to tell you this unbelievable story which I would no way have believed unless I saw the evidence for myself !!! I know a chick on here who met a few guys over a couple of years. She's not the type to have casual encounters, prefering to meet and get to know one guy at a time. Three times now some dude who is so taken with her he kills any hope of potential "relationships" by posing as her ex boyfriend and messaging people ! The last guy she was semi seeing walked away after three weeks and personally I don't blame him. He made her look like a complete and total freak purely because he wanted her for himself. We still can't figure out how he finds out who she's talking to, she won't add people to a friends list. Needless to say this lovely lady has not only blocked him and any other potential friendship guys but is also thinking of giving the dating scene a whole huge miss. It only takes one freak to ruin the love life of one person. I'm certainly a lot more careful what information I share and have deleted my total friends list in case some "nut job" becomes obsessed with me.
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RHP User
16 years ago
when a guy starts to get to know a chick.. started to get on very well.. another guys swepts her off and never to be seen again.. I have MANY rules, but the following are relevent to the post: #1. NEVER try for a taken person. EVER. If the taken person does it with you.. you think he/she is trustworthy? #2. if a chick comes back to me after chosen another guy. I say: tough shit.. you missed out.. i dont do sloppy seconds. #3. If i have a partner. TRUST is crucial. If she looses that trust, then bye bye get lost. :P Sparty
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RHP User
16 years ago
i totally agree with sparts and use those 3 rules too
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RHP User
16 years ago
That's not the first time I've heard horror stories like that, a girl at Uni I know had her computer hacked by an obsessed friend and he kept turning up when she went out on dates... how do they find out all this stuff, it's scary. I don't on line chat for that reason and never give out my email or phone no. on this or any other dating site. stay safe, :-)SF
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ive been together with my beautiful wife for 17 yrs now, and some guys still try to muscle their way in!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Lose some weight, most guys will generally prefer the slimmer woman. Personally i can't go down on a very large woman.
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RHP User
16 years ago
You need a new bunch of friends with ethics. We swing and that's together and offered to share, but someone who will cut you out is not a friend and is into ego building and head games. Lose them
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RHP User
16 years ago
I hope that was not directed to roxy... coz if it was I suggest you go take a flying leap..... how bloody rude.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ultramild forgot to take his fibre pill this morning by the sounds of things. That's teh trouble with getting old... not only do your bodily functions start failing you by going limp at the most critical moments... you also start to forget things... like fibre pills.... manners... stuff like that.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Well for his rude comment, I actually hope that he has problems going limp then, coz with an attitude like his, I can't see him getting too many offers ;) hehehe
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RHP User
16 years ago
Lmfao... msfordy... See the thing is... I never wanna be a grumpy ol' man. You do know why they're grumpy, right? I mean... a man's life consists of momentary dreams where we are surrounded by women putting it out so we can plug them up deep... to have your cock feel so rock hard it could burst... it's a sensational feeling. But as we age that rock hard firmness sensation lasts less and less time..... some guys experience erectyle dysfunction early... and I think this makes them grumpy perhaps before their time... you know... at age 41 while living in Maryborough. Lately I've seen a lot of guys with hard ons... unusually hard... grey haried fat old guys in their late fifties - 60's hanging around naked in gay steam rooms with rip rawing hard ons for no apparent reason. Viagra and cialis will be partly responsible for this "smiling ol' man syndrome" but we need a cure for menopausal women! Then the nursing home will Rock. Seriously, imagine the happy prospects with all those wrinkley ol' people dying with smiles on their faces. How sweet for them to stay in the game... I wonder whether then people will be accused of moving in on a taken woman... or will it be more of a free love environment ... the sex gossip will no doubt be the highlight of Bingo night... but by the looks of it, I suppose there will always be at least one old men in the group so up himself and down on others that will always be grumpy. :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
thank mrsfordy xxxxx but each to their opinion :D i am happy as I am and you know what sort of person I am ... has been interesting reading all the comments on this topic. I didnt intend to insinuate that people are possessions just interested on peoples thoughts on the concept of 'grasscutting' as the guys call it. Personally if the person I was with decided to go with a friend of mine then I would let them go but wouldn't trust them or my 'friend' again. Trust is a big thing with me. It has been a bit sad reading all the different scenarios :( Be happy and I hope you all find what you are looking for xxxxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
your an idiot... how the hell did you get to write about body sizes????? idiot.. tell you what... would prefer to be celibate for the rest of my life.. then to go to bed with 1 sided minds like you.. larger women have just more to hold...thats it.. still have breasts and pussies like " skinny women" There is no diffrence between skinny , large, black and yellow people.. we all have hearts and feelings , moron.. so apoligise to the larger people.. some idiots never learn.. ok...off the soap box i get..lolol xxx
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Frankiesgame
16 years ago
I'm with you tinks, Nice to see like me, you draw the line at green people!!! Has to say Roxy, people like that , in both cases are not usually worth bothering with!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
If anyone cuts your lunch - heres hoping the bread is stale and the salami off. -painful as it may be - perhaps the universe is doing you a favor? If your friend or partner dont respect you enough to keep a respectful distance, they dont deserve you in their lives.
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RHP User
16 years ago
In Ireland it's known as having your eye wiped, as in - that tall bloke who came in with the girl in the orange jump suit just got his eye wiped.
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RHP User
16 years ago
The ones that get to me the worst are the ones that ONLY go for the guys you are talking to....and not coz they like them...but just so they can take them away.Thankfully....most of the guys I talk to I am friends with.....and they tell me what the grasscutters are up to.Some chicks just have no class whatsoever.For me...it has nothing to do with "ownership" but of common decency....which is sadly lacking for the most part.Just my opinion....BJxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'hungrygentleman'Actually, i had this happen to me only very recently, only rather than one of my friends it was one of her male friends... We were just "friends with benefits' but decided wed work towards something else, so over time i really began to like her... Until one day an old flame from years back jumps in and steals her from me... Now i don't even have the friendship that i valued... My typical luck with girls... Guess ill just get back to the meaningless sex lol, Im good at that!! Jamie
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RHP User
16 years ago
Unfortunately, some people dont have any morals and think with their genitals, not their brains..... there seems to be a price on friendships....you call these people DOGS/HOMEWRECKERS......
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