F56
Criticising and Arguing
January 14 2015
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
at the moment BL ,seems to be very personal and not related to a topic ..,past grievances raising their ugly heads....real life conflicts spilling over to here ,conflicts that should remain out of the forums..just my opinion and observation.....apparently ,according to a male forum friend,sledging other men here is just all part of the male Aussie culture and perfectly acceptable behaviour,I find it not only unfunny,but bullying behaviour...a good and timely topic xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have a 'game' from "The Resolution Network". One of the way to gain points is to provide points to support the other side of your argument. . I've found my time in the forums lately, synchronistic...
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RHP User
11 years ago
BL I agree totally. I used to love the forums. There used to be some great debates. Now I can't be bothered to comment on most of them because so many of them turn into a slinging match. It seems that if one so called "predominant" forum poster personally attacks someone then others just automatically follow. They used to be called the wolf pack. The problem is that they can't take it when the tables get turned on them. I read a great saying : If you want to stir the crap pot, be prepared to lick the spoon I know of previous posters who have stopped posting and some who have left RHP because of continuous bullying. It's not necessary. I would love to see more posts where a topic gets debated instead of people seeing it as an excuse to launch yet another personal attack.
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RHP User
11 years ago
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RHP User
11 years ago
should just rub their faces in my boobies. ( 0 )( 0 ) That should make then feel better
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'PaintMeHappy' should just rub their faces in my boobies. ( 0 )( 0 ) That should make then feel better
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RHP User
11 years ago
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
I try and stay out of drama or shit that from time to time pops up in here. But I do have my very own opinion and I also think about everything I write in before posting. Now sometimes my filter between my brain and my voice (aka fingers) don't work and I may offend some. I think the reason my filter doesn't always work is because I either know something to be complete bullshit, I know the person personally and they aren't who they portray themselves to be or I just loathe what the person has posted. Now in saying this I've also had a personal experience (real life if I can call it that) where my integrity, my honesty, my personality, my kind-heartedness have been questioned and lied about by a forumite and I have tried my hardest to keep it polite for the sake of everyone in here......all I can say, is some people are nasty and malicious and warrant some of the stuff that is dished out to them.....💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
I stay out of debate on here, even though I'm very fond of it in the Real World. I imagine all intelligent peopledon't mind debate. After all...it's a chance to exercise our brains on topics we believe in, on subjects we aren't being paid a buck to pay attention to.I'm not afraid of debate here, but it's so easy for the content of online comments to be misconstrued…so I limit myself to just sharing my opinion, generally. Especially, if I'm sampling a fine beer. Such as now….In the Real World, I welcome a face to face dialogue.You can't beat being required to read a persons facial expressions, their body language and their manner of speech forsocial interaction.On here, one needs to be so, SO clear about what their intent is, because opinions cannot be deleted or soon forgotten.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I like your engagement they're well thought out and as you say topic and position relative rather than playing the person. And reading the OP you do follow that style In your posts. I the OP approach. ANOTHER VERSION IS "feel,felt found" strategy - an abbreviated version the OP. Funny I see it at work those who play the person and those who play the ball. Funny because those who always play the person in the longer term proove by omission they are incapable of playing the ball. "Argumentum ad hominem". Take home message I suppose is playing the ball allows relationships to stay fast while the point can be smashed hard when necessary. As its Impersonal. Hope that makes some sense.. SAx
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RHP User
11 years ago
The forum hawks are really off putting. The forums are the best part of this site and we can, and do, get a lot out of them. When someone puts their soul (sexual or otherwise) out there for advice or opinion they should be considered rather than attacked. Though, when I've asked for help there have been some beautifully astute and personal responses, whether supportive or critical. So I still feel there's more good than bad here. A small minority posters treat it more as a schoolyard game. The OP is lovely by the way . Whatever happened to "adult" site?
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
method involving 3 points that are used in australian business.1. Start off with a positive2. Both barrels3. End with a positive I can give you a working example"Hey Mado, can I use you as an example?""Yeah no worries Annie. Anything you like. I think your fantastic!""Hey thanks Mado I think you're .....okay as well..." Here we go..... 1. Mado, have to say that wife of yours, Tara is a fantastic girl. She does everything just so well, you are just so lucky to have her you know. Well done.2. But I don't know what the fuck you were thinking when you said that shit to person x yesterday. Really you should have a long hard look at yourself and come back when you have sorted yourself out!3. Now having said that, that wife of yours.,She did a such a good job on our lawns. That's a really good mower you have you know. good job and thanks. You can mow our lawns any time. See. Done. Everyone still feels good and the point has been made,"Thanks Mado""no worries Annie, anytime""See ya"
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RHP User
11 years ago
That method is called the sandwich technique. It works a treat :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
11 years ago
Personally I don't post in these forums for the whole purpose of debate, debating has its moments, so does the raw natured sprits within people all individual folk. Would it be fair to say then OP, I agree with the general nature of the topic, I understand the nature of this topic, however you are just one other kindred spirit amongst many, if not corresponding with you as yourself as to who you are, why care what you say or believe ? There is a current that moves under the forums, the message and facebook groups that as clear as dogs balls rally against each other and it surfaces into the forums as the flow of emotions are strongest and most do not have any idea where it is coming from. That's life. The forums are part of life, all of who is who. Good topic Burning Love and if I may, you do have such a wonderful set of knockers Mado Mado Tara xx
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madotara69
11 years ago
No worries, hold that thought while I go fetch another glass of the lolly water and a fitting poem.
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RHP User
11 years ago
1. Call it as I see it.... 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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6exxy
11 years ago
Thanks for your post. Many would be afraid to broach that subject matter. I applaud your courage and honesty 👏 Kisses and love for you 😘
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'sir_stir' 1. Call it as I see it.... 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile With all this gluten intolerance sometimes a 'shit sandwich' is best served without the bread.
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madotara69
11 years ago
So so, I'd eat anything but a shit sandwich and that's only because I don't like bread.
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RHP User
11 years ago
But My Point is. I dont really care for arguing. Mes just wrote this as I havnt written for soo long.But my point isIde rather fuck than argue :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
I hadn't noticed much of late but I have been a bit scatty on here lately and haven't put much effort into following anything in particular. Such a shame, Lovinit, that you have had to put up with bullshit outside of here (or even in here) but I am happy to say you are a top chick and looking forward to catching up again in March xo
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RHP User
11 years ago
Great sentiment and useful information OP. The clear action points should encourage some temporarily ansty posters to think before they post. The points you have described are a simple and effective way to rebut an argument. You have wonderful tits. However, I think that the serial offenders are carrying too much baggage to take any notice, and we will continue to see threads derailed.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Do you feel your OP is a good example of the points you are making? . I truly feel it fails in the last line because I have to ask if that makes a misnomer of point 1 considering, I assume, you expected said, "obnoxious or vindictive twat" to read and learn from your OP and potentially think, "“Thanks, I wish I’d thought of putting it that way."". . I often find in my life that it is not until I've made a real mess out of the situation that I can see what was going on clearly and at that point approach in reasoned and understanding manner to attempt to resolve the issue. . In the forums, it often takes me so long to write posts (this one took me over an hour), I don't end up bothering. I can look at the OP/post over and over again for me to get my head around what it is I think the person I'm replying to is saying as well as constantly renewing my poor short term memory as far as what was actually said (quite often I'll have two half windows, to fill the screen on my laptop, open so I can see the OP and my reply at the same time). Then I want to write something that is hopefully going to make sense that I'm not going to regret reading later. . I think I probably fail in point 2 for 'being agreeable', cos I can be a narky, stubborn, bitch. . Yeah, critiquing, debating and arguing is not a skill I have found easy to learn. . But I do understand, that can be how it is for others too.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The point you make is very good and caused me to use Google as a result of RHP for the second time tonight. The first being to discover what a `Gunt` was I read it in one of you regular posters profiles and it made me laugh) which although enlightening I would say the David Dennett search was more rewarding. This quote of his may appeal to some of you (yes its a bit off topic....throw a shit sandwich my way) The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the sea searching for a suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and make its home for life. For this task, it has a rudimentary nervous system. When it finds its spot and takes root, it doesn't need its brain anymore so it eats it!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I wonder if we ignored those nasty posts and don't acknowledge them, maybe those people will give up and stop. On another thread, a few times a certain member kept bringing up the same old argument. Was actually starting to do my head in lol but i thought it was great that everyone else posted didn't let it spoil the whole thread. :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
I like your "sandwich " way of thinking. Only the sandwich I was thinking of would involve you, one other and me as the filling ; )
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think the lack of playing the ball is encouraged by the mods. And I say this with all due respect to those as they have put in place very clear and present boundaries... But.... When social issues topics aren't seemingly allowed, there's no real focus on a topic to debate..... Secondly, most topics that do erupt into such outbursts are because it's a critique of ones personal perspective....that's not a topic of debate it's personal from the get go. How do you honestly sanitise a topic when people are simply challenging someone's thoughts??? Is it our problem that their egos are too big to allow someone to admit "I feel somewhat insecure about this??" Instead they revert to aggressive personal stuff like "yo mamma" jokes in order to stop themselves from looking in the mirror.... But... I do think that sometimes there's a different agenda that's not always pure. But you're never going to prevent it, or change it as groups of people are always going to be diverse.... We should embrace the fiery interactions and look forward to some serious makeup sex.... Or... Rubbing our faces into Paintme's tits 😉 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think if everyone lost instant posting, this would fix the problem. Although I haven't noticed too much and as a few of the others have said....I too say it as I see it. Its just forums in cyberspace. instant Ionest opinion, I dont take much notice and I think if a person does in their "real world" then you yourself, may infact just need a bit more of a life outside of here. Hell, I don't even know who the meamie bums are. Sure I get a bit hot headed and get crap dished out at me THOUGH I am mature enough not to take it personally. Just like cum on the chin, I wipe it off, well actually lick it off. I think you all overthink to much and some of you post too much.As an example Anything and Everything is your own private forum as was with the fuck above one. I thought the chill out lounge was created for serial posters. That was a bit off topic. The squabbling is what it is and just ignore it. If you dont wamt to post because of it then maybe you need big girls pants too. We do have an inbuilt ability to ignore shitty posts. Anyway, maybe I have read it all wrong though ...... care factor - 0 If I just made no sense, thats cool too. :-D - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Now there's a guy that could stir up a good following of banter :) and he seemed to be able to take it from all lmfao bring back the chev...
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RHP User
11 years ago
you said it Debating has to be learned. We learn by example and doing. How can you argue, discuss successful when you had never set say around the table with family or friends or in school to debate a theme and no one gets up in anger or punches the other out. This is a skill to be learned and sadly not many have had the ground rule upbringing. We as humans have to learn to be more tolerant in debating a subject. There is no wrong or right sometimes just a different viewpoint. What I find so challenging in the Australian culture compared to mine, the over politeness and being offended so easy, I want to say sometime.....ohh for fucks sake what did I say now? Still I have to learn this, its not easy not to roll my eyes, again I am not living in my country anymore so I have to adapt a bit.......not to much so :), lol because I find it soooooo stupid to walk on eggshells sometimes. Going back to here, should I like the forum, as some said they do, and I bent down to the bullies and give up, I am no better then them. We should never let this type of people win. Bulies are manipulater specialy on here, deep down shit scared and hiding behind some fucking shit. I find it sad people give up because of them. Never give up......never surrender......this forum teaches us so much......we need the variety of opinions so much, so please come back and have a say.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Having only been on the forums for less than 6 months I haven't noticed a big variance in the tone of the posts. Yes I've seen some brawls and meltdowns etc but thought that would be expected considering the wide range of personas brought into the one sandpit, combined with the frustrations of sex, men and women with their huge range of expectations. I have read recent posts where it is lamented that it used to be different in here. Can anyone give any obvious underlying reasons that this has occurred? Is it perhaps just a coincidence that there has been a bit of a bad run, so to speak? OP I like your post and yes it is a proven method that gives all parties a chance to see clarity of the situation. Works well in a business/professional situation but in these forums where it is usually a case of quick casual posts, people are unlikely to take the time to assess the facts and present their view of the debate in such a logical fashion. More of a case of picking up the keyboard, a quick snipe and then leave to go have a coffee. Perhaps thinking later they maybe should have thought about it for a little longer. Feels regret perhaps but too late and move on. Then things cascade. Or is just like a lot of things seem better in the rear view mirror. The good old days...... Annie xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I disagree...I think that the mods have made it very clear that personal attacks have no place here...should those posts be deleted,maybe,but they do exposé the antagonists for who they really are..or at least an aspect of their persona that was previously not on view...I have certainly changed my view about a few people here after reading their vitriol...as for topics to debate re social issues,I would certainly like to see more allowed,a thread regarding depression certainly attracted a lot of attention,because it is something a huge number of people are affected by either directly or indirectly and can relate to.The lying,cheating topics I am happy to never see again,they serve no purpose except to confirm the opposing sides in their views xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
My post is information about how to criticise/argue effectively (and decently), not an example of it ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I absolutely agree that it's a shame the mods don't let more of these through. In a recent thread where the mods intervened, they mentioned 'fun' forums, and I think this is really short-sighted. Yes, some threads will be fun but I think there needs to be space for more serious threads too. Some get up, some don't. Pooh mods. While I get the need for RHP to be protected from legal liability, I don't see why serious and important topics can't be openly discussed on these forums. In fact, what better place to discuss then than somewhere full of open-minded adults (generally speaking). Whether the topic is fun or serious, I'm all for canning it when behaviour gets out of hand, but aside from that, I think all topics should be allowed providing they're not illegal in nature. Mods, how about a new Hot Topics category called Social Issues or something similar? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
'cause when ya right, ya right.
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
What happens when the ones claiming to be bullied are actually the bullies themselves? I've said this before and I will say it again, people aren't always who they say they are, they manipulate situations/stories to paint themselves as the victim and in actual fact they are the ones that are causing it all.... I personally like to hear both sides of the story and have no problem if someone confronts me with questions..... Because some of us have met, some have formed friendships, some we've met and realise these people are not who we need or want in our lives. So when friendships are formed we tend to believe what they say without a second thought that they might not be being truthful. Then of course you have the fact that we are all different, with different opinions, different personalities and some of us are just going to clash, it's human nature..... For me, I take people at face value, I treat people how I wish to be treated, I don't dislike someone because one of my friends doesn't like them, but when myself as a person brought into question, then it's a different story. In my real life, I would have no problem in approaching the offeners with my concerns and I have, so why should it be any different in here.....💋 Great topic BL
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RHP User
11 years ago
For me, and as per the point of my topic, it's the HOW that matters. Criticising, debating and arguing is very welcome in my world, but I have zero tolerance for aggressive, egotistical, nasty, bitchy, spiteful, gossipy, immature wankers who make personal attacks and who, more often than not, try to hide behind eithe some story of victimhood, or some self-appointed moral high ground. I'd love to see a lot more people here on the forums (and yes, in real life) give proper thought to the 'how' as well as the 'what' of their comments and responses. And I'd love to see a lot of people practice silence as a response, from time to time :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
My last post isn't a comment about you lovinit :) Just thoughts that popped into my head when I read your post. No offense intended. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
None taken BL.....
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree with your sentiment that a more refined approach to forums would be ideal, BL. But to be honest, this sort of rainbow chasing has been going on since the inception of online forums. The fact is, forums such as this one are not debating or philosophy clubs, they represent a soapbox for the views, gossip and gripes of many people from a variety of diverse backgrounds who express themselves in many different ways. The upshot being is that in such an environment, you're never going to get the kind of atmosphere that you're seeking. And do you think it's really appropriate to preach to people on how to conduct themselves in forums and how to express their thoughts?
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
You working on my lack of appetite? Yes, sandwiches for lunch Spitroast for dinner!
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madotara69
11 years ago
Been posting for a couple or three years now, nothing is much different, its always been called the sandpit since coming to the forums. Again in my view this has been explained in the Resilience thread and manipulators influence cause most of the problems, as I mentioned in my first post here, most do not even know why they are fighting amongst each other.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Your points are valid BurningLove....for a debate site. Rhp has forums.....google the definitions of both and you will see they are quite different. You are no doubt aware I rarely comment on any of your posts as they generally do not appeal to me...too much like thesis topics and research. This one, for some reason caught my eye. The techniques you have outlined work fabulously in business.....Forums are meant to be fun. My personal opinion is way to many people on here these days see the forums as a place to Debate and score points....or as a place to facebook their frustrations, so when things dont go their way, or they dont get enough attention , they jump up and down and take it out on everyone else. Thanks for giving me a light bulb moment.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Surely the statement 'forums are meant to be fun' is merely an opinion, not a fact? Forums can be many things. Regardless, when people disagree on forums, as they do often, there are effective and ineffective ways to do so. A classic example of ineffective is when the disagreement leads to the topic being derailed or to personal insults. This closes a discussion down, directly or indirectly, and is often a real shame. I'd also suggest that people are people, whether they're in a business context or social or otherwise. We frequently learn something in one context and apply it successfully in another, so I don't see that context as a barrier in this instance. Besides, the philosopher didn't limit the application of his method to business, so I'll defer to his better judgment. Anyhoo, we don't have to agree :) And I can't say I've noticed whether you do or don't comment on my posts. It's not something I pay attention to or really care about. I figure people will engage with things that capture their attention, and ignore others, and I don't think any of that needs to be personal. Simples. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ruby nailed it ! The rest is just the RHP circus of performing egos. Look at meeeeee ! Men are under represented here so I enjoy keeping our end up and keeping the women honest. That is all. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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madotara69
11 years ago
"I've said before on the forums that I believe in commenting on what people say not who they are." "Oh, and the other bit of magic is that it stops you looking like an obnoxious or vindictive twat." "what better place to discuss then than somewhere full of open-minded adults (generally speaking)" "And I'd love to see a lot of people practice silence as a response, from time to time :)" What I have noticed is you ignore my posts. (silence can be considered admission or just plain rude) Are you aware that you only generally reply to women in your topics?
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Plain280
11 years ago
Could be anything on the context of this site, you maybe conservative, you maybe radical, but you must always respect another persons interpretation of a subject, before you answer or have direct knowledge or experience of said subject. I sometimes feel there is a person or persons waiting to type in an interpretation off google or some related journal and slapping it in to your face as a rebuttal of those views with out malice. I choose to try and be irreverant with some of my answers as that is the true spirit of RHP, but when I am serious it is from experience and direct knowledge. Debating on line misses one vital ingredient that is body language and its meaning to the subject being discussed, instead we have to rely on words and how they are arranged. I have often seen written on here, how meeting someone in person changes your opinion of what they wrote and your feelings as a result. A good subject to discuss.
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RHP User
11 years ago
by all these bulbous opinions.
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RHP User
11 years ago
To be completely frank, I often don't understand your posts. I read them multiple times but generally don't get them. I tend to see how other people respond to your posts so that I can grasp what you're saying. By then it's usually too late to respond, as in, the timing is all out of sync. I do always, always enjoy the way you talk about Tara. I think I'm one of a number of women envious of that. My struggle to understand your posts is no reflection on you, or what you write. It's just how I experience it. I tend to respond to things that get my attention. Perhaps women post more prolifically or say things I'm more interested in. There are a few men I respond to fairly often but I'm not aware of any pattern. I certainly don't have any kind of agenda. - Posted from rhpmobile
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TemptingTroubRHP
11 years ago
I never contribute to the forums, I read them and recognise all of the same users in every single topic! It seems like the same bunch of people, in the same age group (I won't bother mentioning which one ha ha) that complains all the time. It's a shame really. I do however scope out the smart men ;) that can actually write.... great recon! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't really see the point in doing so. After all, these are just "open discussion" Forums. We are not meant to go on "the attack" !!! I do try my best to remain "Neutral" and keep to the Topic at large. I give my opinion on matters and I just leave it at that........hopefully. If any Forum Members "take things wrongly", it's usually due to a misunderstanding, which I do my best to clear up. Amy
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RHP User
11 years ago
write a book about it! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
We rarely discuss politics, religion or any formal topic, we discuss a lot of interpersonal stuff so yes it gets personal. Sometimes the people involved need a reality check, a metaphorical slap, all done with the best intentions of course ! 😃. And yes totally include me !
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dennett's method sounds like it was inspired by real world, face to face discussion/debate/argument. The online world and forums like these are very different as you do not have the same level of context that comes from facing your "target" so things can be so easily misunderstood, taken the wrong way and more easily twisted to suit an agenda. Wouldn't it be better to not treat each other as targets at all? Is there anybody here who likes to be treated as a target? If there is please put your hand up and we can all get some practice.
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madotara69
11 years ago
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RHP User
11 years ago
Otherwise the forums are the same. People argue and fight, it's real life here not some fairy tale fuckingland is it?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have thought was a bit rough and uncalled for is when a newbie posts a question asking for advice. If its a subject that has been brought up in the past, a few of the longer standing forumites will jump straight on them for not looking first to get their answers from old topics, comments of " here we go again" or " yawn, weve heard this befor o.p" or being chastised for being so silly for asking such a stupid question that has been covered back in 2012. I feel that even if it has been covered, a new person is on a totally different level compared to the long established posters. Their repeated post could also help other new people on the site with the same thoughts/concerns/fantasies . And if youve seen the same question asked for the 25th time in four years, no need to post anything at all. Just go to another post that takes your interest. But Ive also learnt heaps from the long standers on here. so many appriciated replies that I have enjoyed and taken on board.And also picking and disecting their profiles to the most trivial tiny thing( the grammer police, geez) is so unnessessary as well. Well thats my whinge. { "Annie", I've just realised my new profile pic is very similar to yours.you have much better legs though. Love your contributions on here by the way.}
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blackbig
11 years ago
I like it... Will apply more😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
See how the Alpha Male thread turned out ? Pseudo intellectual tit for tat pissing contest. You seriously want all topics discussed like that ? I'll wallow with the plebs, trailer trash and the vast unwashed thanks, much more interesting.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I should add that not even debating clubs, science or philosophy forums are free from inappropriate comments. In fact, sometimes they're worse, as the member base often have quite powerful rhetorical clout. I'd go further the most abusive and/or confrontational comments that I've ever suffered were on sites concerning these subjects. Even offline these groups can be brutal. I'm fairly certain that Dennett himself has breached his own standards regarding respectful argument. We're only human, after all.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Turned on by bulbous !
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RHP User
11 years ago
So you much prefer a good dust-up over intellectual wankery and posturing. I agree. Arguing is normal, very human and it would be a shame to sanitise things all the time, for the sake of being PC, agreeable or whatever. Actually, reading your post was thought-provoking for me. I realised it wouldn't hurt me to get more comfortable with public conflict. Still, I'm not at all convinced that you can equate arguing in a way that's NOT nasty, with a pseudo-intellectual pissing contest. That seems a massive over-reach to me. ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
How I stayed out of The Alpha Male thread......💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
Not aware that I claimed anywhere that" Forums are meant to be fun" as a fact....so yes, must be only my opinion. (and maybe a few dozen others like to think of them as fun as well ). Another one of my opinions.....When anyone starts taking the forums too seriously they should step away from the keyboard.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'TemptingTrouble' I never contribute to the forums, I read them and recognise all of the same users in every single topic! You have the power to change that by contributing. It's not hard, you just did it. If more people did then the so called power base that some are posting about would be diluted and the opinions would be more distributed. Hopefully see you around the forums? Annie xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I read "The techniques you have outlined work fabulously in business.....Forums are meant to be fun." as a statement of fact, given it was missing the usual "I think" or similar that would signal an opinion. I stand corrected. - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'willowtree265' I have thought was a bit rough and uncalled for is when a newbie posts a question asking for advice. If its a subject that has been brought up in the past, a few of the longer standing forumites will jump straight on them for not looking first to get their answers from old topics, comments of " here we go again" or " yawn, weve heard this befor o.p" or being chastised for being so silly for asking such a stupid question that has been covered back in 2012. I feel that even if it has been covered, a new person is on a totally different level compared to the long established posters. Their repeated post could also help other new people on the site with the same thoughts/concerns/fantasies . And if youve seen the same question asked for the 25th time in four years, no need to post anything at all. Just go to another post that takes your interest. But Ive also learnt heaps from the long standers on here. so many appriciated replies that I have enjoyed and taken on board.And also picking and disecting their profiles to the most trivial tiny thing( the grammer police, geez) is so unnessessary as well. Well thats my whinge. { "Annie", I've just realised my new profile pic is very similar to yours.you have much better legs though. Love your contributions on here by the way.} I have been guilty of doing just that. Combination of a few things. Think I am learning not to post when suffering depression bouts. Makes me cranky. Also there were a few taking the moment to self promote in obvious fashion. Still no excuse on my behalf. I think we all make the odd dubious post from time to time and I take those moments to learn about myself a little. And by the way thank you for your compliments. But your off the mark, you have great legs and your whole package is hot. Swap bodies with you in an instant please.........xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' See how the Alpha Male thread turned out ? Pseudo intellectual tit for tat pissing contest. You seriously want all topics discussed like that ? I'll wallow with the plebs, trailer trash and the vast unwashed thanks, much more interesting. Not sure why the Alpha Male thread even comes up here. Sure it dragged on for a dozen pages. Much of it probably was pseudo intellectual (would you prefer it was fully referenced and annotated, or just dumbed right down?). It sure wasn't the first and won't be the last pissing contest. It was however a civilised discussion, even though there was robust disagreement and even some well directed barbs. The great thing is there is no shortage of less challenging topics to wallow in if that's what you are into. I enjoy making smartarse comments for a laugh, and engaging in a more thoughtful discussion, but each to their own. Boys, next time I suggest we just parade our big cocks around and bang them into each other like antlers until only one man stands. Do girls like cock fights?
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RHP User
11 years ago
OPNo clue who's the Quote:"Burning_Love""... obnoxious or vindictive twat. " The name calling is clear but to who is it directed I would like to know. Was it intended as an insult? On a thread on how to debate seems a little ironic, maybe your intention was humor? Would not be nice to be the person/persons it is directed at, that many seem to know who it is. OP's should set each thread's rules in the opening post. If people break the rules, ignore them or close the thread by posting thread closed. The majority stay happy and bitching, name calling, and all the other stuff should just fade away like so much bad wind.
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RHP User
11 years ago
So a few men are arguing over what makes an alpha male. So what? Why do people get upset about it? If they are enjoying themselves. So what?
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RHP User
11 years ago
The Alpha Thread on its own was great, on its own. I wouldn't want to see every thread argued like that was my point.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I resemble that remark😉xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
Totes agree with you about mood and mind set when reading/replying to posts.Things can be said that we wouldnt normally say.Thats understandable if its out of character, not like a few ive noticed continually pick and undermine. Although I feel its been happening a lot less the last few weeks. I havent noticed those few people have been posting.Also Annie,thanks for the compliments, you sweet thang you!! You suggesting we play swappies? Lets mix and match. Haha.Oohhh yum, lots of fun.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Burning_Love' Peachy My post is information about how to criticise/argue effectively (and decently), not an example of it ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I love the heart in your posts, your beautiful smile and spirit. . You are so right about the difficulty of learning about debating without any solid grounding to learn from. And in the Australian culture alcohol and/or drugs can very often be involved. I wonder how much that has to do with our over politeness, for fear of a bad reaction. :-P That might just be my experience though, I saw a lot of violence from a very young age. In my foster family, a glass of wine with dinner for everyone including us kids was not unusual, I only stayed with that 'family' till I was 12/13. I worked as a barmaid for a while and played a lot of pool at bars up until my early twenties, then got out of the 'culture' completely. Since then, I've worked so hard to be more than I've known. :-) . Here, it's long been my contention that there is plenty of room here for everyone. But not for how nasty people can act sometimes. You put it well. . Going back to here, should I like the forum, as some said they do, and I bent down to the bullies and give up, I am no better then them. We should never let this type of people win. Bulies are manipulater specialy on here, deep down shit scared and hiding behind some fucking shit. I find it sad people give up because of them. Never give up......never surrender......this forum teaches us so much......we need the variety of opinions so much, so please come back and have a say. . I also believe it is possible to inspire more from different people with encouragement and sometimes a bit of understanding. Understanding is what a person would need to be capable of point 1, I think. xxx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Just wanted say your post touched my heart. Made me tear up. I'm a bit of a sook I suppose. Just wanted to tell you that. Annie xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
That's cos you're not an alpha male of chevtrek proportion bahahaha 😝. Aye cock??? 😉
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Naughtydouble
11 years ago
We are predominantly on here because we don't subscribe to the norm and as individuals we have the right of freedom of speech. Sure we might piss someone of but sometimes we might make someone SMILE 😆 AND REALLY if you feel the need to have a crack have a Crack at me that way your leaving someone else alone 😆😆 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' OPNo clue who's the Quote:"Burning_Love""... obnoxious or vindictive twat. " The name calling is clear but to who is it directed I would like to know. Was it intended as an insult? On a thread on how to debate seems a little ironic, maybe your intention was humor? Would not be nice to be the person/persons it is directed at, that many seem to know who it is. OP's should set each thread's rules in the opening post. If people break the rules, ignore them or close the thread by posting thread closed. The majority stay happy and bitching, name calling, and all the other stuff should just fade away like so much bad wind. Is this thread actually aimed at someone specific? I hope not, because if so, IMO, it is not worthy of the standards you have set in your quotes in your OP, and I'm disappointed. :-(
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RHP User
11 years ago
You are delightful, you have so many kind words for people as you post in the forums, and I find them a pleasure to read. Not to mention the replies. I wish there was more of it. I don't think you're a sook :-P. Thank you for being so kind. It took a lot to include those details about my life. Deb XXX
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm wondering if you're overthinking it a bit. My post was not directed at anyone in particular. I simply shared a way to approach debate/arguments that's less personal and more reasonable than a lot of what I see on here. I often see people behave like vindictive and obnoxious twats on here, hence my reference to that. In fact, I've been described as behaving poorly myself at times. So I figured we could all benefit from a moment of reflection. Do me a favour, and take a pause before you keep making this personal, please. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sorry I didn't put it across in a way that got a respectful response from you. . I am totally confused by this thread. Your above response certainly doesn't do it any justice. . And rather than personal, I would like to think I'm approaching from the purpose of the thread, where we are supposed to be showing respect, but apparently only on a talk about it rather than do it level. .
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Burning_Love' For me, and as per the point of my topic, it's the HOW that matters. Criticising, debating and arguing is very welcome in my world, but I have zero tolerance for aggressive, egotistical, nasty, bitchy, spiteful, gossipy, immature wankers who make personal attacks and who, more often than not, try to hide behind eithe some story of victimhood, or some self-appointed moral high ground. I'd love to see a lot more people here on the forums (and yes, in real life) give proper thought to the 'how' as well as the 'what' of their comments and responses. And I'd love to see a lot of people practice silence as a response, from time to time :) - Posted from rhpmobile This post, does not, to me, support the intention of your post Burning. And I really am surprised, I have admired you for a long time but this post shows absolutely no trace of understanding to me, and understanding is how I see point 1 should be taken. That is my opinion on your OP and your support of the point you were making. I'm sorry if this is taken as personal, it is not my intent, but I Know what we see in the forums is not always the whole story, and I'd like to see more of the points in the OP actually being practised rather than just espoused.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
posting this, but please don't shoot me......yet. the last few posts could be used as an example of some very small things in wording which result in posts being misinterpreted and therefore heading down a path that the OP was based on. I read Peachy's post in a way that more or less complimented the OP original post. There was a wording that changed the context but I corrected that in my mind Is this thread actually aimed at someone specific? I hope not, because if so, IMO, it is not worthy of the standards you have set in your quotes in your OP, and I'm disappointed. :-( At the start of the sentence she "hoped" that it wasn't. I presumed that she meant at the end of the sentence that she "would" be disappointed rather than what she that she was. I'm sure there are grammar terms for both but I'm too long out of school to remember. BL, your reply was going swimmingly right up to the last line. The addition of "keep" to me changed your context to meaning that Peachy had been making it personal prior to all this. I haven't noticed that to be the case and not sure if that was your intention etc. Just small things that are probably not either's intention, can instantly change the dynamics of the thread. Excatly what we are here discussing. Things begin escalating forward from there if left unchecked by posters. Well that's my 2 cents worth and apologies if i am out of order regarding butting in but thought it might make a good example of the subject. It was not my intention to blame either of you because I dont think there was really any malice in the initial exchange. Anyway, line the firing squad, put the blindfold and get me the fuck out of here...............
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RHP User
11 years ago
I saw my grammar mistake too late and reacted to the finishing line as you suspected. It is amazing the difference one word can make isn't it. Thank you for your help, frankly I'm not doing too well in the communication stakes this week.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Um, I can't see anything personal about the op ? Deep breaths all round please Oooooooooommmmmm Ooooooooooommmmm Oooooooooooommmmm
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
At some point and we realise it seconds after pressing the green button. Not just in here but in every day life. I respect both you fine ladies in the contribution stakes.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I did have a moment when I saw my post where I thought of you and your OP on being able to edit our posts within a short time of posting, I had a small laugh at the irony. . Thanks so much Annie, I was actually feeling incredibly low today, and you've helped to no end.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' Um, I can't see anything personal about the op ? Deep breaths all round please Oooooooooommmmmm Ooooooooooommmmm Oooooooooooommmmm And that was just my opinion. . No need for deep breathes here... I just can't believe I didn't think of putting it your way. You are obviously the superior being. . Again, thanks Annie, I like your style.
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
My darling, the new pic is, well let's just say it's "fucking fabulous" 😍😍
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RHP User
11 years ago
(Annie, Peachy, 50z et al) Nice work critiquing the posts without hostility :) For the record I don't take things personally and I don't get personally offended by what's said to or about me on here. Ever. I did think your posts seemed personal Peachy, and no doubt because of the reason pointed out by Annie. I simply didn't want to see another thread derailed. Also, while I'm an advocate for conscious communication - choosing methods that create connection and understanding - I'm not so sanitized as a human being that I don't also appreciate calling a spade a spade. People do behave badly on here - wankery, twats, egotists and more - perhaps me included at times. I'm not about to give that a PC wash, it is what it is. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the first to have made similar observations :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
alpha thread. I feel the Alpha thread was pretty much debated out OP style. It was not overly personal rather, a robust debate on specific point. I feel the main posters walked away feeling they'd had the opportunity to fully debate their own points and I for one was proud to see such a lengthy exchange of ideas go on for the main part - impersonally. What wrong with enjoying exercising our grey matter, it's good old fashioned harmless fun. And debating on point allows the individuals to gain a better understanding of different perspectives from our own without the belittling that goes on from time to time. Was the essence of the OP I'd say.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Well said BL. And well said Peachy. Just shows what can happen with a simple grammar oversight and if everyone can learn from that its all worthwhile. But its the nature of the written word and can lead to wars in the real sense as shown around the world. Response is human nature and we will never stop that primal emotional response. Maybe if third parties are willing to step in to umpire as a last resort if need be, then they can be hosed down and every one can go for a drink and a root at the end of the day. And isn't that what we are all here for...................a damn good root! And 50 z and SA said they are shouting so lets hit the piss....... and just maybe BL might get her tits out later......
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Quoting 'Lovinit28' My darling, the new pic is, well let's just say it's "fucking fabulous" 😍😍 Thankyou gorgeous. Isn't it amazing what happens when you open your legs. its been three deep at the window all day. Bit like the Christmas windows at the department store. Fuck, the stats have gone through the roof. I think they just see and hit with the mouse without looking at those little letter underneath.I'm sure a few would get a surprise if they delve a little deeper. Probably wouldn't worry the majority of the so called "straight men"though.Fuck I need a stiff drink after all that.Maybe a stiff as well but that's orgainised as well............
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madotara69
11 years ago
oh its just natural all the girls would be jealous of Meeka having all the men to herself!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I did not feel IT lived up to the standards the quotes in your OP were setting.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I was just called a twat,on another thread and threatened with a defamation suit...hey ho xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
I do have trouble wrapping pretty stuff around what is on the top of my head, but I thought you knew of my admiration enough to understand that I did not mean to be personal. I can understand your concern about this flammable type of thread though, I was surprised it was still up and running when I got home yesterday. But I thought you'd been handling your posts really well though I was disappointed with your response to me. I would have appreciated it if we'd been able to enter into a dialogue but I felt dismissed after making what I thought was a relevant point. I honestly believe the OP can have a lot of power on their thread, not against a concentrated attack though, I know. But my concentration is not good at the best of times. :-P . I'm off now anyway, have a great weekend.
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madotara69
11 years ago
you could take it as a compliment Miss Freya.xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
I'd trawl through but I think I'm dusted for the day.
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