M53
Herpes
January 18 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
Herpes is a big risk. People have it and do not know that they do... and yes, simply touch it and you can transfer it.... and it is not as uncommon as some might think.You're right, very few people use condoms or dental dams for oral sex. The only safe sex is monogamous sex, or none at all. I know people who have herpes. I also know people who love to play with rubber gloves and do not actually do oral. If someone tells me that they have herpes, I will have a chat and a giggle, but not sex. The facts are simple... it is your responsibility to look after your own sexual health and measure and take your own risks, and get tested regularly. You cannot rely on someone telling you if they have something, or being honest for that matter, and they may not know themselves anyway.See... it's easy to talk the talk... and even knowing these things, I think I am not alone when I say that I occasionally slip a cog, then spend a while in self determined quaranteen until the testing is complete.HugsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
We have never had anyone tell us they had / have a STD. Obviously we would say No to play if we were advised.Its a nice feeling to get tested and receive the "All Clear" We concur....never seen or heard of protection used for oral male or female in real meets.
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RHP User
14 years ago
The truth is that this place is crawling with various nasties The truth is that not that many people here get tested on a regular basis (3 monthly) The truth is that so many people,some married and loads single don't use condoms at the end of the day. I did and got what i thought was a nasty test result, a year later got tested again and things were not as the first test indicated. When i asked my doc how the hell this could happen i found out that all i needed was a bit of fun at a party where someone went from person to person with their hands or mouth. Stalky is right, a lot of "nasties" you can tell that you have them so you can't warn anyone. I told all of my lovers straight away when i got the original result, i have told them all since about the most recent result. Numerous people still were happy to play with me when they thought there was a problem which surprised me. The truth about this fun little game of naked twister is that you pays your money, you takes your chances. Whatever you do, lessen your chances by using condoms and keep your partner and your future play friends as safe as you can.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I actually read some research recently relating to type 1 & 2, apparently 70% of infected people in Australia dont actually know they have the virus - and its extremely common. Secondly, being "tested" at the doctors will not show up. The usualu "test" is for gonor/chlymedia - the only way to be tested for herpes is for the person to actually be displaying symptoms at the time of the test and for that specific test to be done.Hope that helps, but i think there are far worse things to worry about than herpes!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'norticplwa' I actually read some research recently relating to type 1 & 2, apparently 70% of infected people in Australia dont actually know they have the virus - and its extremely common. Secondly, being "tested" at the doctors will not show up. The usualu "test" is for gonor/chlymedia - the only way to be tested for herpes is for the person to actually be displaying symptoms at the time of the test and for that specific test to be done.Hope that helps, but i think there are far worse things to worry about than herpes! I think we must have been reading the same thing. But I think you can get a blood test for herpes regardless of whether you're symptomatic or not.What I'm trying to understand is that given it can be transmitted from activities that swinging couples take for granted and don't protect against (eg. handjobs), why isn't the swinging community riddled with it? Or is it rife and people either don't know or don't mention it?
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RHP User
14 years ago
You can be sure a lot of people know they have herpes and don't tell their lovers at all (not nice!).And then, as said above, a lot of people don't even know they have it. Apparently you can easily get false positives or false negatives from tests.And then of course there are countless other diseases ...Condoms are good but they're far from fool proof. That means, as Stalky said, it's up to all of us to measure and accept our own risks :) Having said that, I'm sure there are no more risks in the swinging scene than there are in the casual drunken bar scene. In fact, I think probably less (though no statistical proof of this :P). The reason I like this site as opposed to the more regular dating sites (despite my profile which clearly states what I'm looking for), is because I find people in the the swinging scene are generally more open and often much more responsible than the pub scene crew. I like the fact that as a collective we can have these awesome, honest, grown up, conversations - and share information and education. Angel x
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RHP User
14 years ago
is one nasty we hope to never come into contact with...we had the STD chat when we began dating, and did all the testing before going protection free.... so we understand we were clear and clean before beginning the 'play' journey....we'd like to get to the other end the same way...........what we did recently chat about was how horrible it would be for an innocent partner to contract some 'ugly', when they'd never played......from their partner, who was out there putting them both at risk...we agreed that there would be no worse betrayal.....(i do know someone who contracted herpes from her interstate truck driving husband....her 'legacy' of their time together....which was the prompt for our conversation....)............
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quote: What I'm trying to understand is that given it can be transmitted from activities that swinging couples take for granted and don't protect against (eg. handjobs), why isn't the swinging community riddled with it? Or is it rife and people either don't know or don't mention it? As a doctor I can assure you that the community at large is rife with STD's (as it is withïn the swing community, however I have found personally that the swing community tend to be more äware and more diligent when it comes to sexual health) So many people do not know they have a STD or are a carrier, especially women who are less symptomatic than men, especially when it comes to Heps - all strains, chlamydia etc whereabouts gonorrhoea etc tend to raise its nasty head within a few days and present rather violently in men Its Russian roulette out there and do not think for a second that just because you use a condom, dental dam etc... you are 100 percent covered against picking up a nasty, you aren't ...you are lowing your risk factor but not eliminating it.....and when someone tells me that they have just been tested and are ""clean"" - I laugh because unless you have been tested that afternoon and CLEARED and not had sex with any one prior to wanting to have sex with me that nite, you aint free of disease - EVERY time you have sex with someone you take a risk...EVERY TIME (even if you have a partner - whose to know what they have been up too ? However every time you get out of bed, you take a risk as well and people even die in their sleep !!!.....that is life....and you cant not live it...but you can be aware, play safe and be mindful of your own sexual health Below are FACTS re: Herpes - from the Department of Health - Canberra What are genital herpes? Genital herpes are blisters or sores on the genitals. They are caused by either Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV) Type I or Type II. HSV Type I is more common on the mouth (cold sores) and HSV Type II on the genitals. Both viruses can infect the mouth and the genital area. How do you get genital herpes? Herpes are spread by skin-to-skin contact with someone who has the virus, including contact with infected skin during sex. Cold sores on the mouth can spread the virus to the genitals during oral sex. There is no cure for herpes. Once you have the virus, it stays in the nerves of the infected area of skin. It can be dormant (‘sleeping’) for some time and then flare up, sometimes causing an ‘episode’ of sores. Herpes are most easily passed on when you can see blisters or sores. But it can be passed on even when there aren’t any sores; this is most common in the first 2 years of infection. What are the signs and symptoms of genital herpes? ■■ When a person is first infected, they may not get sores. Many people with genital herpes don’t know because they have no symptoms. ■■ The first herpes episode is usually the worst. You may feel generally unwell as if you are getting the flu, then small blisters appear. They burst and become sores. ■■ Later, scabs form, and finally the skin heals after 1 or 2 weeks. ■■ In females, blisters may appear around the vagina, the urethra, the cervix, or between the vagina and the anus. ■■ In males, blisters may appear on the penis and foreskin, and sometimes inside the urethra, on the scrotum or in the area between the penis and the anus. It can be very painful to pass urine if it runs over the sores. ■■ Rarely, herpes can appear on the buttocks, lower back and other areas below the waist, as well as the hands, breasts, back, fingers – anywhere that has touched an infected area. ■■ Many cases of genital herpes don’t show up as blisters. They can appear as a small area of rash, cracked skin, or some other skin condition on the genitals. ■■ Have any unusual condition of the genital skin checked out by a doctor and testedDelivering a Healthy WA for herpes. Although herpes sores heal, the virus stays in the body, and you can have more outbreaks. These are called recurrent episodes. Recurrent episodes Recurrent episodes usually occur on the same part of the body as the first attack, but are often shorter and milder. Recurrent episodes are less likely with HSV Type I infection. Usually they happen less often and are milder over time, and can just stop. Some infected people never get more than 1 episode. Some people can have herpes but never have symptoms. Herpes episodes are more likely to happen when your immune system is weak. Illness, tiredness, stress, periods or sexual activity can trigger them, but they can occur for no obvious reason. How do I know if I have genital herpes? Your doctor will take a sample from an infected area with a swab and send it to a laboratory. It’s best if the sore or blister is less than 4 days old. You MAY need a blood test as well to see which type of HSV you have. What do I do if I have genital herpes? Go and see your GP or doctor of choice if you think you may have genital herpes. How do I get treated? During an episode of genital herpes these things may help: ■■ Paracetamol or aspirin can reduce pain and soreness ■■ Betadine paint will dry out the blisters and help stop the sores from getting infected ■■ Bathing sores with salt water (2 teaspoons of salt per litre, or 1 cup of salt in a bath) can help them heal ■■ Applying an anaesthetic jelly or cream can reduce the pain, particularly when passing urine ■■ If it hurts to urinate, you can also try passing urine while sitting in a warm bath. Your doctor may prescribe anti-viral drugs. These ease the pain and severity of episodes, especially if you take them within 2 days of any sign of blisters. If you have lots of outbreaks you need to take medicine all the time. Anti-viral drugs can’t cure you or stop you passing herpes on to another person. However, they can reduce the symptoms, and lower the risk of infecting another person when you don’t have any symptoms. How do I reduce the risks of getting genital herpes? Herpes is passed on to another person by skin-to-skin contact from an infected area. Herpes is most infectious from the first signs of sores developing (tingling of the skin, numbness or shooting pains) until the scabs have gone. To protect yourself and your partner, avoid sex when there are any signs of sores on the genitals. Don’t have oral sex when there is any sign of a cold sore on the mouth. You can pass on herpes to someone even when you have no visible blisters or sores. This is most likely when you’ve just caught the virus. You can’t catch herpes or pass it on to another person unless you have skin-toskin contact with the infected area. Delivering a Healthy WA Condoms with water-based lubricant and dental dams reduce the risk, but they only protect the area of skin covered by the condom or dental dam. But they do protect you against other sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Talking about herpes or any STI can be difficult, but any person you have sex with has a right to know if you have herpes. Discuss it when you are feeling relaxed and confident, and not just before you have sex. Your partner will appreciate your honesty and that you don’t want to infect him/her. You also have the right to know if they are infected too. Is there a vaccination against genital herpes? There is no vaccination for genital herpes. Pregnancy and herpes An infected mother can pass herpes on to her baby during birth, causing serious illness. This is most serious in women who have their first episode of herpes just before delivery. Women who already have the virus when they get pregnant have protective antibodies which protect the baby too, so it’s very unlikely to be infected. If you become pregnant, tell your doctor if you or your partner have ever had a herpes episode. Your doctor can then work out the risk of an episode at birth and any possible risk to the baby. Coping with Herpes Herpes only affects a small area of skin. It doesn’t usually make you ill, and it has no obvious long-term side effects in healthy adults. If you have herpes, don’t feel ashamed or guilty, or think you can’t have sex. The Australian Herpes Management Forum has a web site for people affected with and concerned by Genital Herpes: www.ahmf.com.au
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RHP User
14 years ago
...and very simply, we really are responsible for our own health and the health of others. My own rule of thumb albeit difficult at times is to be absolutely sure that you never bring anything to the table that you would not want served to you...and if there is an ingredient there that could be potentially one another person would not like, let's talk about it. | Personally, I would never go from one partner to another without checking in with my doctor and having "the tests" run nor play in a group situation (rare anyway) without the same precautionary guidelines...and besides, she gives me a volume discount and "mates rates". I am very happy to say it's worked for me and I enjoy perfect sexual health...mental health is always questionable however I don't suffer from insanity but rather enjoy the hell out of my version of it. | Then simply chant the mantra...."Always practice safe sex and study for the exam". | It only takes a short time to get the test results back...some diseases last a lifetime and in some cases death is much more permanent until they find a cure for that too.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I find it quite incredible that no-one else has it, considering it apparently impacts 25% of the adult population of Australia. It stands to reason that a sexually promiscuous group of people would have a far larger percentage.I caught it two years ago from a man I met on a site like this one. We had the 'clean' talk. I had been tested and had never even had a cold sore in my life. He occasionally got cold sores. We had been lovers for a year when on a particular day, a very long session made me a little sore downstairs. He stopped and started giving me oral instead. Whether the virus was shedding that day or he lied about an upcoming cold sore I will never know. Two weeks later I felt a burning sensation when I urinated when the urine touched a little patch of skin near where I had gotten a bit abraded from the sex session. I went to the doctor (who could not even see it visually) and got it swabbed, and my life changed. I was told I have genital herpes.I have never had another symptom since that day. I can control shedding by taking Valtrex, which means I'm pretty much non-infectious. I am extremely fit and healthy and I never get sick, not even colds. It is probably safer to have sex with me than with 4 other people on here. Yet the reason I have no pics or info is so that people don't contact me. I log on to read the forums every now and again. I don't date and I don't have sex because I am scared of being ostracised.Nowhere in any informational website has anyone said that people with oral herpes have an obligation to protect sexual partners. Oral sex is the reason genital herpes is becoming so common. That is mentioned pretty often.Those of you out there who have never had a cold sore. You are at the highest risk of catching genital herpes as you have no immunity built up at all. People who get cold sores already have the virus and therefore already have antibodies. The aniti-bodies for one simplex can help protect against the other. In retrospect I was a time bomb waiting to happen.I have written this post because every time I read one of the 'holier than thou' messages above mine, I just cringed a little further.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have it (it used to be on my old profile but I set this one up quickly to join forums). I tell prospective partners on meeting. I take precautions.You can bet your cute little patootie that there are a stack of people on here who do not tell anyone they have herpes. It's how I caught it, and I bet it's how a stack of other people have caught it too. They're the dangerous ones. Sure, they can wheel out the form from the Dr's showing all clear on blood/swab tests and it won't show up on it because Dr's don't even test for herpes unless specifcally request, and all it will show is if you have antibodies, not if you have cold sores or genital herpes.Everytime I hear someone put herpes and HIV in the same sentence I want to slap them silly. Hmm, a cold sore on twat as opposed to a comprimised immune system that if not managed (with daily drugs) could cause the flu to kill you? Yes, great correlation there. Anyway, here's some straightforward herpes info http://www.healthassist.net/conditions/herpes.shtml I agree with redhotpiequeen above -if you've never had a cold sore, be doubly wary and always practice safe sex for everything as I'd never had a cold sor when I caught genital HSV2 and fuck, I was sick as a dog for 2 weeks. Take responsibility for your own sexual well-being, practice safe sex and get tested regularly. I take my sexual health seriously, you should too.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Cold sores? I have been getting those since I was a teenager.. but cold sore flare ups (Herpes simplex 1) is nothing a regular dose of L-lysine cannot preven... they flare up when I get sunburnt.. or when I go on holidays... (stress related flare ups)... that's when I hit the L-lysine. I think half the planet has cold sores.As for Herpes simplex 2 - genital herpes... I don't have that one... but my friend got that about three months ago. He needed another STD like a bat to the head. It is far more common than people realise.. just not as common as cold sores.The two virus types are similar but different. None the less, I do not indulge in sex when I have a cold sore... just in case there's kissing! I dont think that cold sores (HSV type 1) can be transferred to genitals. Perhaps someone can correct me.HugsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hey Stalks,Both strains can be transmitted to either area. It's very common for women to get genital herpes from oral sex with a partner with a cold sore. Of course, women cop it worse because it's all mucous membrane down there, but with the prevelance of waxing/shaving there are all sorts of nicks and spots where viruses can enter the body in the genital region on both men & women these days.Genital herpes (HSV1 or HSV2) is called so because when dormant the virus lives happily in the nerve ganglion at base of spine.Oral herpes/cold sores is called so because when dormant the virus lives happily in the nerve ganglion at the top of spine.L-Lysine will control both. Zovirax works on both. Valtrex works on both.
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RHP User
14 years ago
oral herpes can infect the genitals.....genital herpes can infect the mouth. herpes can appear as shingles. you might be infected, but never have an obvious outbreak...or you might have very slight and almost invisible outbreaks and be contageous.. everyones experience is different. herpes can infect a baby at birth...the dangers of neonatal herpes include death....
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RHP User
14 years ago
that's one of the things I love about RHP - the openness and honesty.Thanks all :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Your oral Herpes (even if is it HSV1) is still able to infect someone with genital Herpes, even if you don't have a break out at that time. And yes, a cold sore is a Herpes breakout, it is just doesn't have a bad reputation because so many people have it. The virus sheds 4 to 6 times a year without you knowing it and you are infectious at that point. HSV2 prefers genitals and HSV1 prefers oral, but neither are that fussy and both can easily be transferred to their non preferred side. HSV1 on the genitals is still genital Herpes, the exact same virus you have, just a different location.Genital Herpes is most prevalent in women (all those vulnerable mucus membranes as Polar_Bear_Grrr says) and gay men (anal sex doesn't always occur without damage) because of people with oral Herpes who do not know that they can be infectious when they don't have a cold sore.76% of Australian adults have oral Herpes and oral sex is extremely popular. I caught mine from someone who held the exact same beliefs you do. It is time society grew up and accepted that both simplexes are the exact same virus. If I had just had a 'chat and a giggle' with everyone I ever met who had oral Herpes then I wouldn't be where I am now. Maybe this thread should be about social and sexual acceptance and not about how bad it is and how to avoid catching it?
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RHP User
14 years ago
To both Redhotpiequeen and Polar Bear Thank you so much for sharing your stories and being brave enough to do so. It’s one thing to quote medical statistics and it’s another to read of a person who has been infected and subsequently affected by this insidious disease. Anyone who has had a STD will tell you it’s gut wrenching, and a quick dose of penicillin does not cure all. In the case of Herpes, HIV, Hep etc these are STD’s, that require major lifestyle choices and changes and although there is a life beyond these diseases, Id be lying if I said it was the same as the life you once had. Redhotpiequeen…..you sound very informed about your STD and are monitoring it accordingly. I will not be so condescending to say to you that you can continue to have a normal life , one that also includes sex because I’m sure that mentally you can’t go there yet and I fully understand that and I emphasise with your feelings. Your life has changed and it won’t be the same again, BUT there is hope. As stated in my previous post I am a female doctor majoring in pathology. I’m not a psych nor a counsellor but the type of pathology I do means I encounter grief and loss every day and I spend my days listening and holding of hands. I notice that you have terminated your profile, but should you reinstate and would like to chat both as a doctor and a potential friend via email ,then please send me a flirt and I will contact you. And that same offer goes to you as well Polar Bear, who is equally informed and aware ..and if you feel the need, then please send a flirt (as I note you are a Guest) and I will contact you privately as well Thankyou both ladies for sharing and reiterating to all of us….the major impact this infection has
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RHP User
14 years ago
Gawd... too much information ^^ and I am too tired to read it, can someone summarise it for me please. I have never had a cold sore anywhere ever ... would like to keep it that way if I can.Big clap for Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sorry mikeandshell but shingles come from the measles virus...that have nothing to do with STD! I this as Bryan had a bad case shingles 2 years ago....and no it was not a std! FYI Leesa
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sorry meant chicken pox
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missangelina
14 years ago
A thought for the ladies:HPV-2 increases the risk of cervical cancer -- which kills thousands of women every year -- by acting as an "accomplice" to another common virus that commonly causes this cancer. HSV-2 is detected in nearly half of women with invasive cervical cancer But this doesn't mean that all women with HSV-2 are at increased risk. In fact, those diagnosed with HSV-2 face no additional risk if they are not also infected with human papillomavirus (HPV). The message is:1.Get vaccinated against HPV especially if you are younger or have not had many sexual partners yet. Costs $500 if you are a female over 26 2.Get checked for HPV and have regular PAP smears. Cervical cancer is 100% treatable if caught early. HSV-2 has to be present in conjunction with HPV to increase the risk of cervical cancer.The good news - work on a vaccination for HSV is close to producing a result. A vaccine will probably be on the market within 5-10 years.Angelina
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RHP User
14 years ago
Both shingles and chicken pox are related to the Herpes virus - they are just socially acceptable forms of it
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RHP User
14 years ago
sorry again...shingles can appear after chicken pox...its called...among other things "herpes zoster"....... its basically a herpes simplex type virus (same family) that affects all areas of the body..and can occur internally.....the symptoms are almost identical to herpes, but the associated pain can last for months and even years. the treatment at outbreak is the same as herpes, and its no less pleasant........we have detailed and intimate experience with shingles....one of the bonus's of chicken pox and ageing..........its bloody painful.... and inconvenient..stress is a factor that brings on an atack.. even other health issues might trigger a bout... try being bed ridden after surgery and suffering a shingles outbreak across your buttocks and back... nasty..... (herpes HSV and zoster VZV, belong to the same family of virus)
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RHP User
14 years ago
herpes can absolutely manifest itself as a 'shingles' type outbreak...herpes is not limited to infections of just the mouth or genitals...it can appear anywhere on the body, regardless of whether its hsv-1 or 2. it looks like shingles in many cases, and needs a proper diagnosis to identify it.... herpes can, like shingles, affect the throat, the eyes, the hands and even the central nervous system..including the brain and the spinal column..shingles is more likely to occur as we age...over 50's experience it...so long as they came in contact with VZV (chickenpox) when young......... but herpes has the stigma attached to it...its unpleasant, unsightly, and damned uncomfortable.... doses of drugs like Zovirax and others minimise the severity of outbreaks, unfortunately tho, they dont protect anyone againt infection etc...........they are expensive to buy, and you have to take them in time for the effect to be best.......again.............almost identical to shingles and its management...............lol... i did write that herpes can 'appear' as shingles.....its often mistaken for the latter....as the assumption is that older people are less sexually active, so less at risk of exposure......... not always the case......many 'shingles' sufferers may actually have herpes, and vice versa.........
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RHP User
14 years ago
And totally correct MikeandShel and trust me, if you ever have a attack of shingles, you will NEVER EVER forget it...and yes stress is the major trigger factor for a attack...as can be poor diet, lack of exercise etc...as is the same with herpes.....once you have the virus, you have it for life but a attack can be triggered by the above mentioned factors.. Its condescending to say, that you need to remove the stress from your life if you have these diseases ..thats impossible..but learn to manage your stress, ..yes and eat rite, moderation in alcohol, give up smoking, watch your weight, get plenty of sleep/rest, play safe, be kind to small animals and children and more importantly...the life lesson is .....play nice...with everyone !!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
its not a 'once only' event......that is an entirely individual thing...........some have one event.....others have recurring events for many many years.... our experience is the latter...... its a damnable thing in some cases.... more painful and debilitating than herpes...............
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka_JuicyBum' Gawd... too much information ^^ and I am too tired to read it, can someone summarise it for me please. Meeka - hopefully this summarises the main points for you (and if this is still too long there's a super short safety summary at the end).There are two strains of Herpes.HSV-1 mostly gets people around the mouth (cold sores) but can infect the genitals as well.HSV-2 mostly gets people around the genitals, but can infect the mouth as well.Herpes is transmitted by skin-to-skin contact, mainly where the skin is very thin (genitals, mouth) or cut (shaving rash).People are most contagious when they have sores or a sore/blister is starting to form (may be a tingly, irritated spot), but sometimes there can be no symptoms and the person is still contagious. Some people don't even know they have it.Herpes (either strain) can be transmitted mouth-to-mouth (kissing), genital-to-genital (sex) or mouth-to-genital (oral).There's a smaller but still present risk of transmission by touching an infected area on a person with your hand then soon touching yourself or another person on their genitals (so even shared masturbation carries risk).Those alcohol-based antibacterial gel hand cleansers are meant to be effective at killing the herpes virus (perhaps they should become standard kit at swingers parties along with lube and condoms).As promised, here's the super short safety summary:Don't play with someone who has visible symptoms (blisters/sores).Always use condoms/dams for sex AND oral!Clean your hands after playing with somebody's fun bits before you play with another person or yourself.Kissing... well that's hard to avoid or protect. Maybe we just have to suck that one up (which is why around 75% of people have HSV-1).Even with the above safety measures, any play carries some small risk.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Krissy....AGREE COMPLETELY..
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RHP User
14 years ago
"herpes zoster".IS ONE FORM OF SHINGLES AND NOT ALL FORMS.FYI
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RHP User
14 years ago
fact:Best Answer - Chosen by VotersShingles are chicken pox revisited. What the doctor said you had was herpes zoster- the medical term for the virus causing both chicken pox and shingles. At some point in your life you had chicken pox. The body was able to supress it, but not kill it all off, and some of the virus has been living in a nerve cell until now. Usually due to stress, the immune system isn't able to supress it. The virus wakes up, follows the nerve to the surface of the skin, where it breaks out in the tiny, painful little blisters. You are currently a walking chicken pox factory- and those little spots are loaded with the virus. You want to stay away from small children, and keep it covered with a bandage until it heals and dries up. It may be a while before that happens. If the pain is bad, ask the doctor for medications to help with that. There are also some retroviral drugs that can help supress it as well. Don't get hung up on the "herpes" part- its a family name, and there are lots of members of the family. The herpes you are thinking about is a cousin, but no- you don't have an STD.Source(s):nurse
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RHP User
14 years ago
never said it was an std....just said herpes may 'appear' as shingles.............as in looks like, feels like, behaves like......also fact. 'herpes zoster' is the name for the VSV virus....... chicken pox is caused by the same virus that causes shingles...its called Varicella Zoster Virus...... herpes zoster describes the blistered outbreak that occurs later in life after a childhood bout of chicken pox..... its called this, because it looks and behaves like herpes. shingles is called other things.....depending on where in your body it occurs.....but its all shingles, caused by the one bug that infects your nervous system....chicken pox. ffs all i did was make a comparison.... most people will not encounter herpes....but many of us will encounter someone with shingles , or suffer from it themselves..... both my grandmothers, and now my mother suffer from shingles...its miserable. its not an STD, but it looks and behaves just like the one we were talking about........herpes.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Isn't it funny all the various socially acceptable relatives of herpes. "Oh... shingles isn't herpes, oh yes it is, oh nah - it's chicken pox with a hint of measles and a twist of cold sore pus." It makes me wonder whether all these skin conditions are somehow a dressed up version of herpes.... you know - the same way that a HSV is a dressed up version of a Commodore. . I find it kinda amusing when the HSV car brand was launched google didn't exist. So the marketing team couldn't punch HSV in to see if it was associated with anything less than desirable. Now you do a image search on HSV expecting to see cars with elaborate body kits and end up with pages of pusy sores...
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RHP User
14 years ago
You put that brilliantly. Herpes is just a skin condition when it is active and it is pretty much absolutely nothing when it isn't, no matter what form it takes or where it occurs, it is exactly the same thing.The genital version is also a minor, pesky inconvenience which is fast becoming a very widespread minor and pesky inconvenience. Seeing as oral Herpes is so prevalent, genital Herpes is going to keep becoming more widespread. If attitudes don't change, more and more people are going to feel ostracised by those very people who infected them.It saddens me to read these messages in here from so-called open-minded people.
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RHP User
14 years ago
.many 'shingles' sufferers may actually have herpes, and vice versa......... Above is what you said mikeandshell, hence my making sure people understand that it is NOT an std. Leesa
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RHP User
14 years ago
what i said was true. some think or have been told they have one condition, when they are in fact, suffering with the other. the two can both appear to be the other. thats fact as well.... i suffer from an allergy to soaps.... in extreme instances...the symptoms appeared as a herpes type rash...its really a chemical burn...i didnt know that the first time it happened..... imagine my relief when i was told what it was..... as a result i no longer use solid soap anywhere near my tender bits lol....liquids and a loofa only. simple things can often appear to be complex issues....my suggestion is and always would be, to refer the matter to your gp and make sure a detailed investigation and appropriate testing is undertaken. shingles can be transmitted during close physical contact...sex included.... but it manifests itself as chicken pox.........in these circumstances would it qualify as an STD?
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RHP User
14 years ago
not serious ok? just throwin things out there.... std's are serious stuff tho.... i dont know if we all really give them enough thought...or take quite enough in the way of precautions.....
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RHP User
14 years ago
Actually, the impact hasn't been that great. Well, after the inital outbreak where I was really sick (think very bad flu) as body produced antibodies to fight it. It took a little about 6 months for me to deal with it and evaluate my lifestyle and what had brought me to that place. I was thankful that I got herpes and nothing else - hell, you can fix other things with a dose of antibitiocs but they can sure do some damage in the meantime between tests and you may never know.Now, I have casual sex (with informed partners). I have had relationships (long term, involving regular fucking without condoms and no transmission has occured). The main issue with herpes is the stigma attached rather than the physical inconvenience of occassional outbeaks. There is no stigma attached to cold sores yet it's the same thing (yes there are slight genetic differences between HSVI and II but they both act the same on the body). However I do count myself lucky that I don't suffer from coldsores, because I love kissing too much! (No, this does not mean you can just come over and get a blowjob!) so when I've had an outbreak at least I could get cuddles and kisses from a partner and not feel like so much of a leper.All the people in my life except for my parents, know I have herpes and I'm happy with it being that way.To answer the original question though " If someone warned you that they have herpes but don't currently have any sores, would you still play with them?"Pre-herpes I would have said no. Now, I wouldn't go to a swingers party (I'm kinda bummed I missed out on that action when I could).
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RHP User
14 years ago
In an attempt to give another option to the OPs question relating to making swinging safer for them both, this is not saying we are better than any one else its merely offering a different style of swinging.Number of partners:Imagine attending parties and having sex / touching with 4-5 different couples at that party?If each of those couples did the same as you within the last month that means you have been exposed to any undetected problems from 64 -100 people.Now 3-4 weeks later you do the same, you are now exposed to 300 plus people and you have not reached your 3 month check up. We are not knocking parties testing etc, there is no rule that says you must play with others!Some other swinging alternatives:Own partners play only, watching others same room? the risk above is eliminated!OrCouple to couple one on one swinging, Look for committed long term couples that don't do the party scene and play 2-3 times a year....they are out there...and the number of people you are exposed to drops from 100 - 300 to 4-10 between 3 monthly testing. Try and have a group of 3-4 couples and just stick to within the group.Of course this is flawed and you might be unlucky enough to pick up something on a one on one but it does attempt to reduce risk.
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RHP User
14 years ago
It's the gift that keeps on giving long after you are gone...and comes in many forms that may range from relatively harmless to quite a serious disease. Short form...always do you best to prevent catching or spreading contagious diseases and be aware that sometimes even the best intended efforts may fall short of the mark. | Unfortunately we are not playing badminton here...and getting hit in the head with a shuttlecock is not the only danger. | PS...it really is cheating if you can walk under the net without having to duck and belt them in the kneecaps with your racket.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Great to see such openness and particular thanks to SLK27, and the people who have this condition and their generosity in sharing their stories, thanks also to nomadswingers has presented us with the stark reality of exposure in terms of statistics.. Summing up, I think it's all about how much people want to reduce the risk and being educated about the risks and the consequences of choice.I don't think a lot of people have answered Toy with Me's question: " If someone warned you that they have herpes but don't currently have any sores, would you still play with them?"Certainly for us the answer would be no to sex, as we would probably would not be able to get our minds off it and may spoil the mood so to speak..We recognise that this is our hangup, but you have to do what you feel comfortable with..
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RHP User
14 years ago
herpes , gross! i do think you can go on medication to keep it under control...go see a local GP. But if not on some form of medication or getting treatment would be a high risk! if you have a partner with it and honestly love overrides that and you wanna be with them includ sexually - seek medical GP attention or else i wouldnt wanna be there!
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RHP User
14 years ago
At 11, my son had genital blisters that had the appearance of herpes but a swab revealed that it was not. So there are other viruses out there with the same symptoms.
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RHP User
14 years ago
i would be more worried about the ones you can see.. hep a,b, c and hiv .. you can see symptoms of them hey?? I have found men on here disgusting with thier use of protection, many turned down due to the fact they ' dont use protection' cos they dont like it. like a certain person who fuked another person on my lounge in the ass with no idea where each other had been.. i threw my lounge out the following day. erk!! how ever i worked in the porn industry for 7 years no protection but i had tests every three months and had to provide a current medical certificate at every shoot. the med cert must be taken within 2 weeks of the shoot. in personal life . my health was my work so everything was protected oral, sex everything toys cleaned, towels put down.. why take the risk ? you know the saying you cant catch it twice people are ignorant when it comes to sexual health
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RHP User
14 years ago
Its good to see so many people talking about this, I have said in a few forums that rubbers dont always help and that oral sex can also tranfer STD's.... I have said that it all come down to TRUST with the partners that you are having sex with... As to me (as a bisexual point of view) I could not suck on a nice cock when it has a rubber covering it, I rather go and have a wank... If you know you have something wrong then get it fixed before giving it to someone else...... If you are going to play ASK question and hope you get true answers.... If people hide or refuse to answer your qustions then they are hiding the truth... TRUST is the only thing we have, with out it you mite as well stop having sex...
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RHP User
14 years ago
hello community ... this is my first post Louise L. Hay says on herpes: Probable Cause: Mass belief in sexual guilt and the need for punishment. Public Shame. Belief in a punishing God. Rejection of the genitals.New Thought Pattern: My concept of God supports me. I am normal and natural. I rejoice in my own sexuality and in my body. I am Wonderful.I like to write these affirmations onto little post it notes and put them where I will see them every day.Because we are all ultimately connected, I thought u might want to know my current affirmations.All is Well.It is safe to see other viewpoints.I am safe enough to be flexible in my mind.I am free to be me.I allow my mind to relax and be at peace.Clarity and Harmony are within me and around me.big LoVe, LuCia
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RHP User
14 years ago
I believe SLK27 answers ToyWithMe's question " why isn't the swinging community riddled with it? "" As a doctor I can assure you that the community at large is rife with STD's (as it is withïn the swing community, however I have found personally that the swing community tend to be more äware and more diligent when it comes to sexual health " who of us here has not been tested? and regularlyI would bet there is nowhere near the same level of awareness and pro-activity in the conservative married with kids but sneaking round scene ...on this issue in particular, I'm more suss of the guys I meet on RSVP than I meet here
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sorry but you are incorrect. I'm currently studying medicine.Chicken pox is caused by varicella zoster virus (VZV) a member of the Herpes family.80% of the population actually carry the most common form of herpes virus(HSV-1) but not all show symptoms or get outbreaks of a "cold sore".
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RHP User
14 years ago
As a female who is currently recovering from a bout of cold sores......I had a small one come up on my lip.....used a zovirax patch and had an allergic reaction...... a MAJOR outbreak all over the bottom lip and it has taken over a week to heal. L-lysine....betadine and salt water work for me along with lavendar oil.....
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Mr_MrsJones
14 years ago
Leesa is correct in that the shingles is caused by the same virus as chicken pox. the Chicken Pox virus and the viruses that cause Herpes (HSV 1 and 2) are all part of the same family. They both infect the nervous system and microscopically look very similar.
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RHP User
14 years ago
To SLK27 I myself is in the medical proffession and witness too the STD and types a like . Nasty nasty and cruel STD effects you physical and emotionaly . It's there for life ! It can be managed through medications and a good understanding partner, but chances you have already effected the ones you sleep with!! I have thought for years , about how there is so much emphasis put on Sexual Encounters! Young teens are having sex from as young as 12yrs ! It's not cool unless they are sexually active! this is such a big topic i could talk about it for hours ! Remember the add on TV back in the 80s the Grim Reafer how he Tinpin Bowled you over with deaf from HIV....? Scared the fuckers out of me!! I was in my teens then ! We need those type of adds back ! maybe this time instead of the Grim Reafer it will be a handgun and your playing Russian Roulette and your next Yes Russian Roulette !!!!! To ToyWithme Write down the positive then the negitives... Which comes up the most ? to do or not to do? If it's such a big positive, go for it !! take the time to screen your swingers , perhapes get onto regulars that feel the same as you, cover up and have fun ! I'm glad to hear that some of you out there still have respect for themselfs and others. XX Tarlisa
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RHP User
14 years ago
I’m in tears. I have herpes. Herpes isn’t that bad. The head-fuck that comes with herpes, really fucking sucks ass. About 7 years ago I got nasty burning vaginal pain and saw my doctor. The results of the swab devastated me. I’d really like to know how I got it. I had a new boyfriend of 2-3 months. In the preceding 3 years I had slept with my ex (who’s only other sexual partner was also a virgin) and one random (unprotected) 6 months prior who said he was clean. My new boyfriend confessed to cheating more than 5 times on his previous ex but when questioned about cheating on me, told me I had ‘nothing to worry about’. He repeated that response every time when questioned until we broke up (he wanted to get back together) and his answer changed to ‘no’. He was never tested and denied genital symptoms but at about the time of my diagnosis experienced repeated, sharp penile pains (“ouch!!” and grabbing at his groin). We had unprotected sex for 5 years during my outbreaks which lessened in severity and frequency throughout that time. I find it hard to believe he didn’t cheat on me, contract herpes, give it to me and deny it all. I gave herpes to my next boyfriend – a combination of his fault and mine. He’d said he wouldn’t have sex with me but then he started touching me, I wouldn’t even kiss him and wasn’t looking under the covers but stupidly relaxed a little and let one thing lead to another. I was unprepared , not even properly out of the last relationship and had my guard down from the promise not to touch me that had got me in his bed in the first place. I didn’t know when or how to broach the issue, what the risks were or to be perfectly honest which parts of his fingers, tongue or small, soft cock were actually penetrating me until it was too late. Put your fucking, self-righteous, soap boxes away. I fessed up straight away. I didn’t have an active lesion but he caught it straight away. In the end, he said he would’ve done it anyway. He’d fallen for me big time and wanted to be able to have unprotected sex with me at any time. Be honest with yourself people: Unprotected sex is gloriously better. I shudder to think how many people have lied for the luxury. I felt guilty that first time and it reduced my enjoyment. I feel guilty now that we’ve broken up and he carries my dirty legacy with him, into every new relationship, for the rest of his life. This is the head fuck of herpes: GUILT, SHAME, FEAR, REGRET, SADNESS, DESPAIR, feelings of OSTRACISM, ISOLATION and feeling like a DIRTY FUCKING SLUT!!! Oh yeah, and the occasional tingly, slightly burny sensation to remind you of all of the above! The head fuck of herpes is the negative stigmatism, the fact you have it forever - there is no cure. The head fuck is that you have to have a conversation with someone about your innermost feelings of guilt, hurt, pain and fragility when all you want to do is have some good old-fashioned , clean fun. I haven’t told any of my friends. It’s not socially acceptable. No one has ever confessed it to me; though I suspect my best mate. Victorian ads say that 1 in 5 of you out there share my disease. Well where the fuck are you all? I know because I had a pcr test on a vaginal smear and also later on a recurrent itchy blister I was getting on one finger. A blood test can tell you if you have herpes simplex but doesn’t distinguish between type 1 or 2. I reckon most of you don’t know you have it. It causes no serious medical illness so why would a doctor even bother to screen for it – you don’t get SICK from it, it won’t KILL you and apparently about 75% of you will test positive anyways. If you don’t get an active lesion, then you won’t even have anything to test. So what do I do? I’ve told every prospective partner since (fucking fun that was, not!) – oh, except the guy that had sex with me whilst I was 9 / 10ths passed out - and have come to the completely unscientific conclusion that provided there are no active lesions to contact, kissing is ok, giving oral sex is ok but getting it is out L and protected sex is ok.... they are my rules based on my guesses as to a fair and reasonable probability (I don’t want to give it to you!!) and the onus for accepting that risk is up to you. Some boys have said no (repeat previously described feelings of joy), others yes. One even got so horny he said he didn’t care we didn’t have a condom – but I said no.... I’m not good at saying no. The bottom line is that the medical literature is sketchy on the risks and harm minimisation strategies, the social stigma is a bitch and at the end of the day , a condom isn’t even 100% at preventing pregnancy; that’s happened to me twice and it wasn’t fun to deal with either.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Soru4me it take guts to come out and say you've got herpy, I sorry you caught it.. Not much I can say to help you but as I have said honesty and truth is the only way to go... If I ever got it I would not be able to have sex with out my partner knowing... I get tested 2 time a year as my doctor know I am bisexual.. the trouble with sex is a male lets his dick do all the talking, I get told I talk to much but its save my bacon more the once..... Some day we can hope they do find away to stop it....
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi,I have herpes (as I posted before). When I caught it, not realising that it's a pretty nothing disease other than the stigmatism around it, I told my friends for support as I was devestated, I thought my life was over and I was now a social pariah. I was surprised when people would say to me "Oh, I have it to". Guys on RHP when I used to have it on my old profile would contact me, and I would mention it, and they would say "Oh yes, I have it too". They would never have mentioned it if I didn't bring it up. They don't mention it to everyone else you fuck you can bet on that.So, there are plenty out there with it. And the person who says they are "clean" is the person who you're going to catch it from.And really, it's not that much of an issue. What soru4me says is backed up by my own research, pretty hard to give it without symptoms (tingling feeling or a bilster/sore) and even harder for a woman to give to a man (most nasties suck like that, stupid lovely squishy mucous membranes). Although it is impossible to give someone genital herpes if they go down on you, they'll end up with cold sores, so I don't carte blanche rule oral out, it's up to my partner to make an informed decision on what he wants to do. There's plenty of information out there.Doesn't bother me though, I'm not looking for random fucks or going to swinger parties so I don't need to concedrn myself with people not wanting to fuck me because of that. Actually, why am I here?.... ha.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I came out of a long term relationship a few years ago, and was pretty naive about sex generally - the good, bad and ugly. I made it a bit of a mission to educate myself about a lot of things, and forums like this have really helped.I admire the women who have come forward on here. Interesting that no men have (I think?). I'm dissappointed by some of the harsh and immature comments but glad they're in the absolute minority. For those people that are sitting in judgement of people with herpes, I'd offer the following (and I'm no doctor, so please feel free to correct me):Statistically, 1 in 4 people have herpes, either cold sores (HSV1) or genital herpes (HSV2). That's a LOT of people.Many people have herpes and don't know it. It might be that they have no symptoms whatsoever - that's possible. Or that they have symptoms but don't realise there's a problem - they have tingling but no visible lesions in places they can see them, or visible lesions but they don't think it's anything to worry about or get checked. They might have regular blood tests for all sorts of STIs, but herpes can easily throw a false positive or false negative. The best test is a swab of a lesion. For a woman, the lesions can be deep inside and they might never see or feel them.Herpes can be transmitted when it's not visible or discernible. The virus can shed without recognisable symptoms. There's no way of knowing with absolute certainty when this is occurring, so symptoms such as tingling and lesions are helpful, but not absolute. Besides, as per the paragraph above, some people don't even know they have it.Either strain of herpes can transmit to other body parts. Oral cold sores can be transmitted to someone's genitals and give them herpes on the genitals. The strain will be HSV1 and not the genital herpes of HSV2, but that's just medical-speak. The reality is that the person who has just contracted it will have herpes ... on their genitals. The reverse can happen - give someone oral and you can catch genital herpes on your mouth. Herpes lesions can also appear in many, in fact almost any, other places - back, bum, thighs, hands, face etc - depending on where the skin-to-skin transmission occurred. Therefore, condoms are a limited defence.The best defence is self-awareness (check your body, listen to your body, get tested) + honesty + taking precautions and/or medication + choice. Everyone who has sex with someone is making a choice and exposing themselves to possible risk of all sorts of things. Simple as that.On another note, do you think it's more likely that women will tell a partner they have herpes than vice versa? Do you think it's more likely that a woman will say no to a man that tells her he has herpes, than vice versa? Just pondering.And finally, I read somewhere (was it on here?) that a vaccine is maybe only a few years away. That would be nice.Like I said, I don't profess to be an expert, so feel free to shout me down :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
To redhotpiequeen, Polar_Bear_Grrr & the ever so supportive SLK27I have only read the posts to jan 20th, & felt compelled to write my first postMy heart goes out to you two girls as I have just gone through the same thing, everything that you have both said is so true, the initial sickness, the devastation of what your life was to how you go about it nowI have not been active on this site for nearly 12 months now, I had a wonderful lover from this site. (who is safe) as this happened to me months after. I went into hibernation till I got my head around this thing, I have stayed on meds - valaciclovir.I if you had asked me before would I sleep with some one with it, my answer would be , NO WAYI have taken the path of saying up front what I do have, how I handle it & what I don t expect.At first I put it up in my profile in a subtle way to open discussion. (Sorry redhotpie, another dating site)To my surprise, I had approx 8 responses ...not for necessarily for meeting but to acknowledge my honesty, tell me how brave they thought I was, & also to offer support.They also carried the virus, some have had it since their early 20's, married, had healthy children, & not passed it on to their partnersI have also looked at a specific dating site for STD's & more but it's not for me.I don't feel like a leper so I will not act like one. I am a responsible caring human being with a sexual appetiteI take hope that If I tell the truth, I may find some one else who has a similar condition or some one who is aware & knows hoe to handle it
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) not a nice thing to catch especially when the person knows they have STD but still go ahead and have sex without telling you they are effected, what a lot of people don’t know is that the person who effect you can sue up wards of 30 thousand to 250 thousand dollars in the courts, as Australian law states that someone that’s carrying STD must inform sex partners of their disease... In cases such as HIV a person can be charge with man-slaughter as this disease can be fatal. As for herpes and some of the lesser STD you can be sued for all medical and ongoing treatment of this disease... The only reason you don’t see people taking action is they are ashamed of it, if more people would take action when they find that the person they had sex with, new they had STD this might make people who have STD to tell their potential partners of it.... I am not telling people they can’t have sex, just that people without STD should have that choice on whether they have sex with a person who infected... I’m 55 years of age and can’t have children as my little tadpoles don’t work but all these years I have never caught any STD’s of any kind (maybe I have been lucky) but I did get crabs when I was 20 and have had cold-sores when I was younger but when zovirax came on to the market I used it but I start when I felt the tingling sensation in my lip and I put it on every 2 hours even if I nick my lip shaving I use it as some nicks all you get is a tingling sensation, I have not had a cold-sore now for 18 years and always carry zovirax in my medical kit just in case, as I find you must start putting it on before it blisters. As for condoms they do not always protect you from herpes as it can be transfer by touch and oral sex... Then you get people who don’t like to wear condoms as they don’t get any feeling having sex with them on, I know this as I am one of these people, and I always say that to have oral sex with a rubber on ether a female or male is like eating a bike tyre... We don’t look for large groups of people just like to have ether one single bisexual guy or a couple who likes the idea of just us not haft of WA, a lot of people put themselves in danger of getting STD because they have new partners very weekend or go to swinger party’s this is very high risk.... Trusts and Honesty is the only thing we have going for us all... STD has been around ever since man and woman walk upright probably even before that... Please excuses my grammar but I did not have a very good schooling..... PSS as I have never has STD so I don’t know how I would handle it if I got one of the diseases so my heart goes out to the people who have it and wish them all the best.....
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RHP User
14 years ago
Angelic2011 - 3 out of 4 people have oral herpes and 1 out of 4 people have genital herpes. Not too many have both. Now THAT is a lot of people and really should make people sit back and think, but it doesn't.gtbi_mm - herpes is NOT a disease. It is a virus and a pesky skin condition. Considering that at least 3/4 of the Australian population carries the virus in one form or another I seriously doubt that anyone could be sued for passing it on to anyone else. At it's absolute worst, it is nothing more than annoying. There is no court on this planet that will tell the man who gets one cold sore on his face a year to pay me any form of money because he gave me genital herpes.
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RHP User
14 years ago
You'll need a big pile of money to sue someone over a bout of herpes and you might as well burn it than try and run such a case. Anyone who talks up a civil suit for herpes has obviously never been involved in a legal stoush that ran its course. There's a huge difference between having rights and proving theyve been wronged and then being compensated when they're traversed. All over a tube of Zovirax. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
redhotpiequeen I just spent $30 chatting to a lawyer and yes you can be sued for inffecting someone with genital herpes if you know you have it and do not tell the person that you are having sex with, it all comes down to money to be able to fight it in court... During my army life in QLD a army mate had genital herpes and it cost him $34.000 over 4 years because he did not tell a female when he had sex with her, But if he had told her she would not have got anything at all... What you have to watch these days is we are getting like the USA people will sue over anything.... But I must apologise, yes herpes is a virus and not STD.... If I was to have sex with someone who had genital herpes I would rather they tell me so I can make the choice if I wish to have sex with this person.... Yes if I like this person I probably would but I would also try everything not to catch it....
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RHP User
14 years ago
Is it a criminal offense to knowingly have sex with someone with a contactable STD without advising them?If so why do $$$$ come into it, would you report it to the police? We heard on the news a year or two ago the police did charge a male with having sex with females and infecting them with HIV.Aparrently he knew his condition and didn't advise his partners. Maybe it was worse bareback,But GTbi_mm point, you have a right to know, we do not think can be dismissed.It is not optional. Our comments are not directed towards Herpes.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I agree with you stalky it does come down to money, but my point is not about sueing anyone its about Honesty and being told whether they have something wrong with them..... If I had genital herpes I would tell who ever I was going to have sex with... to me its the right thing to do....... Yes I do know that you can get it and the person you get it from, may not know they even have it....
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RHP User
14 years ago
"nomadswingers" It is a criminal offense to have sex with HIV and not tell your partner... The other are only civil court and yes it cost more than its worth... My mate payed out $34.000 and over $20,000 was to layers, they are the only ones that win. Part was court fee and the Female only got about $3000 for few years of stress No its not worth it.... My self I would not take it to court as I dont have that sort of money I do feel sad for guys and girls who have it, as I have had cold-sores and they are bad enogh,its probable 99% worst having it on the old fella or on a female pussy... Iam not here to upset people... I just like people we meet with to be truthfull...
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RHP User
14 years ago
There are criminal cases where a person with HIV was imprisoned for reckless or intentional conduct endangering a person with infection of HIV. The onus is on the parties to inform one another. I do not think the same can be said of infecting someone with Herpes. Maybe you can show us an example.As for whether you can be sued by the person who is alleged that you did this to them intentionally, that is also quite possible... there seems to be no limit to the reasons people sue one another.... my point was, that it is pointless to sue for Herpes by reason of the high cost and unpredictability of civil litigation. It's one person's word against another, you have to prove one person had it and the other didnt, that nobody else cold possibly have passed it on, that damages were suffered and the amount... and so on... this involves doctors, witnesses, lawyers and barristers, witness statements, expert reports..... it's an $80,000 marathon that will not be "won" by either litigant. Only the lawyers win.As for your army mate gtbi-mm, there's at least one similar case tried where a doctor was found to have transferred Herpes Simplex 1 to a patient's vagina by way of an ungloved hand. That patient was awarded $36,000. I would have my doubts that $36,000 covered the balance of legal costs for experts and lawyers.Just my take on it.Gaz
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hey, was that a civilor criminal case gtbi? Last I kept up with anything (I kind of got over the whole thing, once you stop having outbreaks it's easy to lose the angry fire of your life being ruined, heh) there had been a couple of attempts here, and in the US, to sue for transmission of the disease. Not criminal charges because really hard to prove who you got it from or where and well, it's a cold sore, not syphilis, or HIV, or Hep C, something that can do lasting and permanent damage to you.Really interested in the details of that case...Ahh, would I sue the guy that gave it to me? Nah, not now. However at the time, maybe. Bastard. As of 18months ago he was still advertising his wares on AMM too.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I was talking about when I was in the army, which was back in 1976 and yes today it would cost a lot more and lawyer are a lot more greedy now, so it probably cost up wards to $80,000 or more... but it was a point I was making....Is telling the truth................................................................................... Yes it does end up your word againts their's but my mate was caught out and lost the only winers was his lawyer......
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RHP User
14 years ago
Can you just imagine the press coverage..."Your honour, my client attended a swingers party. at which it is alleged the plaintiff contracted Herpes by reason of the reckless conduct of the defendant....""A swinger's party Mr Jones?""Yes your honour. You make make a judicial note that a swinger's party is a party in which attendees might have sex with one or multiple partners about whom they may know nothing whatsoever""I'll do no such thing Mr Jones"HUgsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think you missed my point. I caught genital herpes from oral sex with someone who had oral herpes. He never said 'honey I have oral herpes' but after I caught it he said 'he occasionally got cold sores when skiing'. I'd be curious what your lawyer would say about being able to sue someone for that
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RHP User
14 years ago
I did not miss your point and I am sorry you got it but its not worth get into a shit fight..... When all I would like to see is people being honest with others............. Herpes is one of the eases to catch, my wife gets cold-sore from stress at work but she will not have sex when she got them and nor will I..... I know herpes one can be tranfered to the genitals and I dont think I have met many people who have not had cold-sores.... Herpes is here to stay whether we like it or not......... Ok thats all I'm going to say on this... Redhotpiequeen I would still luv you but thats me xxxxxxxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi Everyone,Some of you people are loosing it here.We all need to be responsible for ourselves & look out for others where we can.Yes we need to be socially responsible here, these dating sites reach a lot of people from many walks of life, some not so up with things, many from other cultures here in aus.I find myself having to give an education to some guys whom have messaged me. I have replied straight back to them with my condition....then I find having to educate them on the topicIs it time to have a box in our profile that indicates this nuisance?And that is what it is, its not life threatening, even at child birth as long as you have informed your doctor so I am told, worst case scenario would be a c- section if the mother was having an outbreak at the time.Periods for women are also referred to as a nuisance. But females have them....However it is more detrimental to those who play on here whom are married or attached as they would need to explain to their higher power.....if they were to drop their guard.......I am not judging here, its just a reflection on what goes onMany people have lived with this condition untroubled for many yearsWe do have to stop blaming other people for whats happened. We are all consenting adults here.
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RHP User
14 years ago
It was a civil case and was just a big shit fight, the only people who won was the lawyer, but he did admit he new before he had sex with this young lady, thats why he lost...... I don't judge people who have it, as I have had sex with people who have had genital herpes... when someone tells you you know the ricks you are taking but hey you girls always say us guys think with our dick "lol" and no doubt I have had sex with people who have it and not told me too... Justwantahavefun you are right, we should all stop and think some topic can get a little heated............................ So every one have a fun filled happy year xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
I didn't mean to get into a shit fight with you. You seem to be one of the educated few out there. As with Polar_bear, I'm not angry at the person who gave it to me. I'm just angry at a society that is ignorant. I'm angry because I know it is a mentality that is going to be very hard to change because that was my own mentality just a few short years ago
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RHP User
14 years ago
redhotpiequeen please forgive the way I write things: as I did not learn to write or read till I was in my 40's (long story) I still have to refe to spell check when writing stuff..... As for getting into a shit fight it wont happen, I have always taken people on their word and yes I have had a lot of people lie to me or just give me part truths, I did looking into genital herpes about 8 years ago as a female friend of mine got genital herpes and she did not know how she had got it..... Due to that she had not been having sex with anyone at the time, why did this get to me... Because she gave it to her self that was the sad part, she had cold-sores on mouth and was playing with her self (which we all do) and she was licking her fingers and then playing with her pussy.. At that time I never new that you could transfer cold-sores to your genitals, sadly I was wrong about this virus and thats is why I tryed to find out more about it... Its not hard now as we do have the internet which helps find out more.... Meybe one day my good luck will run out and I do end up with genital herpes (I hope not) but its a risk we take every time when we have sex with people.... As we don't meet a lot of people our chancers of getting genital herpes is very small..... Dam hope I did not make to many mastakes I go from spell check to the thesaurus just to write something take me haft hour to do this........... redhotpiequeen & polar_bear: If I have said anything to upset you ladys I apologises
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RHP User
14 years ago
Through my research you can get HSV1 (cold sores) on your face and you can transfer them to yours and others genitals................it still remains HSV1 NOT Genital Herpes (HSV2) You can also get HSV2 anywhere on your body. it's the type NOT the location
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yes we all know theres 1 & 2 herpes: but if you tranfer cold-sores to the genitals you can say you have cold-sores down theres, it still becomes a genital herpes and people still treat you the same as if you have herpes 2........... We where just saying how people ended up with these 2 viruses on the Genitals........................................
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RHP User
14 years ago
That isn't quite right. Both HSV1 and HSV2 can appear on the face or genitals, but if they appear on the face then it is orofacial herpes (commonly called cold sores) but if they appear on the genitals then it is genital herpes (which doesn't have a sweet nickname yet). It is just that HSV1 is more common on the face and HSV2 is more common on the genitals although the occurrence of HSV1 on the genitals is increasing rapidly.So, in response to your post above, if a person has HSV1 on their genitals then it is genital herpes.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Those that post re on the soap box, you could be up there and not even know that down there in the other box you have a simple little virus. One in four have it, and yet the posts here do not represent the reality do they? I have seen only one profile on here from a guy that said he had the virus What a great guy, and same for the ladies that posted here, bravo! Do you think we need to have a little letter made up with H for herpes and people can wear it? Maybe get someone to ring the bell as people walk past with a STD and yell unclean unclean? I got an STD, when fucking a guy behind a couch at a nurses and doctor party, those medical people are fun and wild, I was pissed, he was pissed and I got the little extra from the GP Lucky I could fix it with medication, but I had to ring three men to tell them I had an STD Yes back in the day I did not practice safe sex. Boy did they get bent out of shape saying it was not from me, two checked out ok The doc well he was the worst and got all bent out of shape, I just said heal thy self you twit! and yep it was the doc that had the STD and gave it to me I do not care and do not judge anyone as its like saying ohhh you have a cold , you must have done something terrible to get that. Build a bridge and get out of the dark ages people. God it feels like some are getting sticks to build a fire to burn the witch. Its a sore on your pink bits, so what? its not HIV its not going to kill you is it? But most of all, you do not even know you have it , and may never know and just be spreading the joy from your place up there in the pulpit.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Thanks rhpqueen for the education xxxxxx gg
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RHP User
14 years ago
Well tuscanred I do get checked out every 6 month but I supposes I should do it more....... Tuscanred I would do you behind the couch with out a problem you just one sexy looking chick....... XXXXXXXXXXX
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RHP User
14 years ago
Well tuscanred I do get checked out every 6 month but I supposes I should do it more....... Tuscanred I would do you behind the couch with out a problem you just one sexy looking chick....... XXXXXXXXXXX
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RHP User
14 years ago
One of us do get cold sores on sunburnt lips if over exposed to the sun. This condition has been present for around 25 years.The cold sores have not been passed onto anyone else as far as we know or any other parts of the body and still occasionally only effects one of us....after 25 years!Precautions: No oral sex between us if there is any tingling or other visual signs present. We have postponed play dates with other couples for 3-4 weeks until all clear. And really who in their right mind would want to met others to play with sores / blisters on the lips!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hey you got that right, we would never play with anyone if we or they had them..... Why when you write something it comes up twice
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RHP User
14 years ago
Herpes is not only infectious when there are active sores. A few times a year the virus sheds itself. There are no visible signs but it is infectious at those times. This applies to oral and genital herpes.I believe the statistics are that between 1 to 3 % of all people with herpes are shedding at any one point in time. Any herpes information site will tell you more about shedding
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RHP User
14 years ago
is a herpes virus too... just a different strain again.. as is shingles...That is why most people.. if blood tested.. will show up a positive...
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RHP User
14 years ago
That is one thing I hope to never come across! and I feel sorry for the people that do get it from dirty partners who did not tell them about it!!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Open minded, about what? Since when is a person who has herpies dirty? Iif you get a cold are you dirty? when is the last time you had a test? Its skin on skin, a peson is not dirty and many people do not even know they have the darn virus yep and I do believe that girls who fuck around are dirty girls to some people Now I must put that warning up about do not slam the door if you have a glass house. So the people you feel sorry for then become the dirty people who you feel contempt for? How can you tell a person you have herpies if you have no idea you have it? I am a bit harsh but I am a bit passionate about a Salem Mentality , just google Salem 1692 if you need an edumication
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RHP User
14 years ago
Miss Openminded...the above is the third line of your profile...are you sure about that.?? Did you by chance READ the previous 5 pages of posts regarding this subject....did you by chance take any of it in and inform and educate yourself.. ???? or was your post the random comment of a 23 year old...? Oh you are entitiled to your opinion.....and I will defend your rite to it every step of the way, but I cannot defend your ignorance..."dirty partners"...my god , with this kind of mentality still out there in 2012, where one has access to information at the click of the mouse..how do you educate people who dont want to be educated ???????????????....arrrgghhh !!!!- I hate to say this but there is every chance...every chance that you could be carrying a STD yourself and not know it..1 in 5 women have chlamydia and are not aware ... that figure increases to 1 in 3 if you live in WA - especially Perth due to the FIFO syndrome and the fact that we Western Australians holiday so frequently in Bali and beyond and sadly still participate in unprotected sex (us or our partners do) ...those stats are almost the same for men here in WA.....who will normally present with symptoms within weeks of acquiring chlaymdia ...women can go months if not years without detection..and it can render a female infertile if left untreated.... So Im wondering if you were unfortunate enough to contract ANY STD, virus etc..thru misfortune or from playing Russian Roulette, would you brand yourself with the label "dirty "?...................................***shakes head*** BTW whlist here..thankyou to all the brave ladies who posted here of their stories regarding their experience of herpes. I thankyou and applaud you for sharing and educating all of us...
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RHP User
14 years ago
I dont read or write very good but I do go on the internet if I dont understand something and find out about it, as for missopenminded I got my first coldsore (herpes1) when I was in school at the age of 10, so I must be dirty "Dam" Or was it my first girlfriend that was dirty whom had got them from... (dont think so) But how would I know I'm just a DIRTY old man..... Sorry but if her profile has: I am definitely not a judging type.... Then I think she should rewrite her profile... Or grow up......
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ToyWithMe' Quoting 'norticplwa' I actually read some research recently relating to type 1 & 2, apparently 70% of infected people in Australia dont actually know they have the virus - and its extremely common. Secondly, being "tested" at the doctors will not show up. The usualu "test" is for gonor/chlymedia - the only way to be tested for herpes is for the person to actually be displaying symptoms at the time of the test and for that specific test to be done.Hope that helps, but i think there are far worse things to worry about than herpes! I think we must have been reading the same thing. But I think you can get a blood test for herpes regardless of whether you're symptomatic or not. What I'm trying to understand is that given it can be transmitted from activities that swinging couples take for granted and don't protect against (eg. handjobs), why isn't the swinging community riddled with it? Or is it rife and people either don't know or don't mention it? There is no actual blood test for HSV 2. A blood test will show whether or not you have antiboties to HSV which about 70% of adults do. The only way to really detect HSV 2 (genital) herpes is at the time of lesions and with a swab test. My 63 (god bless her) year old friend has just recently been diagnosed with herpes and apart from the lesions, other symptoms which come with it are very unpleasant and painful. She is now oon a 6 month course of medication. IT'S ALL A BIG RISK WE TAKE WHEN CHOOSING TO LEAD THIS LIFESTYLE and it's up to the individual to take care of themselves because not all people are goinig to be honest and upfront enough to tell you they have had an std. Nice
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'nomadswingers'We have never had anyone tell us they had / have a STD. Obviously we would say No to play if we were advised.Its a nice feeling to get tested and receive the "All Clear" We concur....never seen or heard of protection used for oral male or female in real meets. Regular fill STI/STD testing should be a must. I keep copies of my test results to be able to show. Its smart to get the 3 tests done more regularly (HIV, HePc and Herpes). Outside those 3 there are many things - all can be fixed if encountered early. Herpes is out there but I was told by FPWA Sti clinic that lesions are theonly way to transmit the virus. Looking at the other person for those lesons is smart). Vulva, upper inner thigh, surrounding area is the way to check. There are plenty of internet sites that show Herpes. With hetero players HePC is hardto contract as its blood transmission. As an Insurance you should have the HePB VACCINATION (and checkit has taken). That is the life threatening issue covered. HIV - twoissues, the time taken to respond to 3 types of tests. 3Months clear shows that there is no HIV present. HIV hetero rates are near zero in WA. On the other hand crossing the road is a risk! lol I love receiving new test results - relief and i am a virgin again status LOL
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RHP User
14 years ago
niceBUTnaughT2 said:What I'm trying to understand is that given it can be transmitted from activities that swinging couples take for granted and don't protect against (eg. handjobs), why isn't the swinging community riddled with it? Or is it rife and people either don't know or don't mention it?We think the term swinger now means group / causal sex, the married couples bit is gone.So yes it must be around judging by the case history presented in this thread.But we also note: No case history has been presented from long term married couples that only occasionally play together with other long term married couples contracting herpes on the private parts, which confirms our experience.So are / were we just lucky? Or do choices we make also shape our destiny as its each of our choices how we play and what we do?And how do all the choices we make combined alter our risk profile?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Whoever told you that the only way to catch herpes is through active lesions needs to go and check their facts. The virus sheds about 6 times a year when it is NOT active and it is contagious at that point. There is NO way of knowing when the virus is shedding. This is both oral and genital herpes.
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RHP User
14 years ago
No matter we do on rhp , its always a risk . Oral or otherwise .
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RHP User
14 years ago
Thanks to SLK27 (your car?) for the low down..too Pola_bear_grrll and RedHotPieQueen for sharing their stories. You seem truly genuine folk.Now given I've only read through the first two screens of comments, I should get on my bike and read though the next 3
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RHP User
14 years ago
My girl and I have been to a couple of swingers parties now.Wow! Just, wow! How awesomely incredible are these parties! Going from the relative normality of vanilla monogamy to getting my cock sucked by a complete stranger in the midst of a hedonistic orgy whilst watching my girl making out with another woman! Absolutely freaking incredible! But I digress...The thing that disappoints me about these parties is how dark it always is in the play rooms. I know visible lesions are not the only time that herpes is able to be transmitted, but psychologically it would be easier to accept the risk if you were at least able to see that the person appears clean.Also, as well as the general availability of condoms and lube, it would be good if party hosts got into the habit of adding anti-bacterial hand gel to the supplies list. Of course, it might be a little awkward if in the dark you get the lube and the hand gel mixed up!
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RHP User
14 years ago
My girl and I have been to a couple of swingers parties now.Wow! Just, wow! How awesomely incredible are these parties! Going from the relative normality of vanilla monogamy to getting my cock sucked by a complete stranger in the midst of a hedonistic orgy whilst watching my girl making out with another woman! Absolutely freaking incredible! But I digress...The thing that disappoints me about these parties is how dark it always is in the play rooms. I know visible lesions are not the only time that herpes is able to be transmitted, but psychologically it would be easier to accept the risk if you were at least able to see that the person appears clean.Also, as well as the general availability of condoms and lube, it would be good if party hosts got into the habit of adding anti-bacterial hand gel to the supplies list. Of course, it might be a little awkward if in the dark you get the lube and the hand gel mixed up!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'redhotpiequeen' I find it quite incredible that no-one else has it, considering it apparently impacts 25% of the adult population of Australia. It stands to reason that a sexually promiscuous group of people would have a far larger percentage.I caught it two years ago from a man I met on a site like this one. We had the 'clean' talk. I had been tested and had never even had a cold sore in my life. He occasionally got cold sores. We had been lovers for a year when on a particular day, a very long session made me a little sore downstairs. He stopped and started giving me oral instead. Whether the virus was shedding that day or he lied about an upcoming cold sore I will never know. Two weeks later I felt a burning sensation when I urinated when the urine touched a little patch of skin near where I had gotten a bit abraded from the sex session. I went to the doctor (who could not even see it visually) and got it swabbed, and my life changed. I was told I have genital herpes.I have never had another symptom since that day. I can control shedding by taking Valtrex, which means I'm pretty much non-infectious. I am extremely fit and healthy and I never get sick, not even colds. It is probably safer to have sex with me than with 4 other people on here. Yet the reason I have no pics or info is so that people don't contact me. I log on to read the forums every now and again. I don't date and I don't have sex because I am scared of being ostracised.Nowhere in any informational website has anyone said that people with oral herpes have an obligation to protect sexual partners. Oral sex is the reason genital herpes is becoming so common. That is mentioned pretty often.Those of you out there who have never had a cold sore. You are at the highest risk of catching genital herpes as you have no immunity built up at all. People who get cold sores already have the virus and therefore already have antibodies. The aniti-bodies for one simplex can help protect against the other. In retrospect I was a time bomb waiting to happen.I have written this post because every time I read one of the 'holier than thou' messages above mine, I just cringed a little further. Thanks for sharing your story....much appreciated!!!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
I caught herpes off my ex, and it devestated me. I had always been 'safe', but like many people, after being together for a while, and also wanting to have a baby, we stopped using condoms. When the symptoms first appeared i thought it was thrush, but sadly it wasnt. I was very angry he hadn't told me he had the std. While we were together, it wasn't to big an issue. But after we broke up, I had to think of how and when would i tell any future partners. Would I tell them on first contact, or wait until we had decided to hook up? It stressed me out for quite a while, until i decided to put it on my profile. For me, I find it better this way.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Pretty interesting question really. I know you used herpes as an example but how can we keep each other safe? It was pointed out that even if you have proof of being clean and clear it still isn't a reliable tool - unless it was that same day and you hadn't screwed anyone between then and now. I can only suggest you to talk to your prospective playdate about your concerns and see how cooperative they are, protect yourselves as best you can, look at their lifestyle and hygiene and if they're on the same page as you - then aim, shoot and fire so to speak. Put it this way, if they don't value their health as much as you, share your concerns or if they even slightly detest further protection in fear of it impeding on the experience then would you want to play with this kind of couple anyway? Unfortunately we don't have little status updates on our profiles with the current mood of "HEP" or "AIDS" - you are literally playing with peoples lives so we all should be as proactive in protecting each party as possible. It's just the risk you take with this kind of scene. Can I ask those that do have herpes how do you protect others from yourself during sexual encounters? Without meaning to sound like I just did.
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RHP User
14 years ago
One of us have had cold sores normally only evident when over exposed to the sun on the lips for the past 30 plus years.As it has been suggested here:1/ Cold sores are very similiar to Herpes if not the same.2/ Shedding occurs 3-6 times a year and you cant tell, there is no signs. Suggesting that our policy not to play when there are sores or that tingling feeling is seriously flawed. Then why have only one of us gets cold sores, surely after 35 years together it would have been transferred to both of us if its as contagous as we are being told?Or is there really a difference that is so far unexplained between the genital and lip variety of Herpes?
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RHP User
14 years ago
It is quite possible you both have antibodies for the same strain of HSV but that one of you exhibits no symptoms at all. Just ask your doc for blood tests if you want your curiosity satisfied. Blood tests won't however tell you if the HSV is residing in the cheek ganglion or in the lower spine
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