F36
Sex On A First Date... Slut or Not?
November 30 2009
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
I dont care if she gives it up. Been on PLENTY of dates and slept with the girl the first night never thought she was slutty. (unless i knew b4 hand then it wasnt a date) THen ive been on dates b4 and didnt sleep with them Again not a problem.
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RHP User
16 years ago
It doesn't mean anything to me...I mean if I get some on the first date great, if not no great loss... hopefully there's a few more dates down the line.This whole thing about, she gives it up on the first date, so she's a slut... It's a pile of crap
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RHP User
16 years ago
I think if it feels right then go for it ...wat if u continue to see this guy/girl only to find out that they were terrible in bed and to me sex is rated very highly on my list mainly bcoz i am a pretty sexual person .. and considering there is not many mature guys out there that wud understand this they may think i am easy or slutty but it is just not the case not to me anywayz and thats not to say i dont hav sex on the first date bcoz i hav had many dates where i just dont want to take it any further!...i am very curious to hear guys opinions on this topic also!! haha good topic TABY001
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RHP User
16 years ago
I agree in some ways with hotazice... it doesnt mean a great deal to me whether the first date ends in sex or not, i think that if the two of you connect then its a good idea to have sex on the first date so you can see whether you connect just as well sexually as well as the social connection. As in most relationships sex is one of the most important things and if its not enjoyed by both people then its hard to be satisfied in terms of the saying that the girl is a slut if she has sex on a first date...thats crap. i think it all depends on how long it takes for the girl and the guy to fell comfortable around each other and enough trust to know that neither is being used for sex. once they feel comfortable then they want to take that next step and see if what happens to the connecion...whether tha be on the first date or 10 dates down the line.. grea question though :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Well girls, prolly 100% of guys want sex on the first date regardless of weather or not they want to stay with u or not. I think if I go on a date with a girl by the end of the date I will know weather I like her or not. If I do like her and she doesn't put out I will be keen to chase her and take her out again, but if I dont like her that much and she puts out I would take the sex and then move on... its not like ur ever going to say no haha. But if I dont like her that much and she doesnt put out then I wouldnt bother chasing her coz if Im not that keen why waste time. Then best of all if I like her heeps and she puts out then great coz I get sex and I like the girl and this is how a lot of my relationships start... It doesn't mean the girl is a slut 4 putting out on the first date it just means she likes u heaps and knows the best way to keep u is to f#$k your brains out..HARD! It doesnt really matter if u like em u r keen weather they put out or not, the only thing is... does the sex make u like em more or like em less.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I just want to say im not hinting that girls that have sex on a first date are sluts. If I did then I would be calling myself a slut lol I somtimes have sex on a first date if there is loads of physical attraction but when I telll my friends this they say not to go there and guys think your a slut if you do.. so i just want to see what the guys think lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
It doesnt bother me in the least. I tend to not think of anyone in a negative way for being sexually forward and active. and often i prefer it. after 3 or 4 dates, if I havent slept with the girl i start to wonder whats wrong with her... or me! lol If youre into someone, and theres chemistry, theres nothing wrong with having sex with them on the first date! I will be honest and say that in the past, i have kept a relationship going for a little longer than it should have even though I wasnt that interested in the girl, just because the sex was good... but I'm sure im not alone there.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Normaly back in the day when I was dateing if there wasnt sex on the 1st date I didnt bother with the person
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RHP User
16 years ago
Another great post Taby, you seem really quite mature for a girl of such tender years. So personally for me, If a female wants to have sex on a first date then i think more power to her, shows that she knows what she wants and has the guts to go for it.Progressive is the term i would use, and certainly would not think any the less of her, quite the reverse! unless she was drunk or high, for me i like a women who is in control of her faculties.Cheers Nev
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RHP User
16 years ago
If there's enough of a connection between two people, and they're honest that it's more about falling in lust at first sight than anything else, then why not? But we don't think it's a great idea - it's like blowing all your aces in a single go. There's got to be some mystery after a first date if it's to be a serious relationship. Maybe sex on the third date or something. We got it on on the third date :), so we'll stand by what we practiced. Both men and women have needs and wants, and if one needs that particular itch scratched, then why not? After all, thirsts exist to be slaked.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Does that mean a guy who has sex on a first date is a slut too? So it seems a bit unfair if one makes a value judgement with respect to the other that does not apply to them. Surely good sex is a bonding thing... but one may be nervous on the first date and not perform at their best... so that could be detrimental to bonding. If the sex happens to be so good that it's beyond belief... then each is coming back for seconds to confirm that the earth shattering event was in fact real. Alternately, a couple could date for months and stay celibate, to finally discover they are sexually incompatible. It seems to me that its a compromise between good sex and personalities meshing. I liked the idea of spin the bottle to discover who was the best kisser.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I'd like to think that a woman that has self confidence, knows what she's attracted to, and is in control of her feelings, would have sex whenever she felt like it - including the first date.If she does it just to score, despite not actually liking the dude, then there may be some underlying issue, but all the chicks I know that went all out on the first date, were very confident, and were going after something they desired. I admire that in a woman!Slut is really just a degrading term used to spread hatred.Great thread by the way!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Just speaking for myself here but whats wrong with being a slut ?.....geez plenty of guys are sluts..... So what if you sleep with someone on a first date....to me that's just instant attraction.....hell I've been in situations where you cant wait to get somewhere pivate and rip each others clothes off ! Social conditioning tells us that "easy" girls are sluts....c'mon...it's 2009....be who you are....and be proud.....just dont do anything you wouldn't be comfortable with the next day....the person in the mirror is YOU and as long as you are cool with it....screw what anybody else thinks...... Be your own person taby.....young and proud and free..... Dogism.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Funny how you'd never hear a guy asking that question, hey? I reject the whole notion of slut. They saaaaayyyy though, (you know, "they"... the book authors and columnists etc etc) that generally speaking, men don't view women who have sex on the first date to be appropriate wife/mothertotheirchildren material. 'Apparently', once you sleep with a guy on the first date, all he will ever view you as, is a bootycall/fbw etc. Jeez I'm glad Speed wasn't one of those men lol! Cheers, T.
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RHP User
16 years ago
another vote for the "don't care". If she is someone that I like and could see myself in a relationship with, then sex straight up is a bonus.If they're someone that you would only want to be around for sex then thats a different matter. Its just a hangup from the "they won't buy the cow if they can get the milk for free".
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RHP User
16 years ago
go for it. I personally don't "expect" it but "hope" for it. In hoping for it I am hoping there is a connection there and that is why it happens vs just sex for sex sake... But if on the first date/meet, two people hit it off then that's fine - I don't think that girl is anything less then myself at that point - ie horny and eager to have some fun with someone :-) Wayne
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RHP User
16 years ago
Being the sweet and innocent little nypho I am, I have to confess that I've only ever been on 2 first dates *blush* - the first when I was 16 and led into a 2yr relationship and the 2nd was with my husband who I've been with since I was 18 (we met a couple of months after I broke up with #1 LOL)...and I didn't have sex with either of them until we'd been going out for a couple of months. I sound like a bit of a prude, don't I!? Quite the contrary actually (I'm a kinky little minx) ...but I was and still am to a degree, lacking in self esteem and confidence and was too self concious to get naked until I was really comfortable ;) (Kicking myself now though - damn, I had a hot bod and should have used it to my advantage & flaunted it!!) Taby, I applaud (and am some what envious) that you are comfortable enough in your own skin and head to go out there and put yourself out there - whether that be on the 1st date, 2nd or 3rd! All power to you, honey :) And no, I don't think that makes you a slut...it makes you sexually confident! Awwww Eunuch...you're making me a bit sad - I never ever got to play spin the bottle :( S xox
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RHP User
16 years ago
Meaning of Slut from Wiki..... A slut is a person who has taken control of their sexuality and has sex with whomever they choose, regardless of religious or social pressures or conventions to conform to a straight-laced monogamous lifestyle committed to one partner for life. Or....Slut or slattern is a pejorative term meaning an individual who is sexually promiscuous. Therefore I suggest that everyone stop trying to dress down why you're even on this site. We have no problem being sexually promiscuous and dont pretend to be saints instead of sluttish. My advice is to have fun, be very careful (and I don't mean just STD'S). I also mean having your heart broken or getting a reputation as the local slut and the main topic of discussion at the work. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. As far as the term Slut goes, heres a 600 year old proverb........ "The perfect Wife is a slut in the bedroom and a Lady in public" Cheeeers
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RHP User
16 years ago
You use the word slut like it is derogatory. Well, Im here to claim the word back. Im a slut and Im proud of it. There's nothing wrong about being a slut. It feels good to be a slut and nothing that feels that good should be thought of in a bad light. Frankly, I think its good to get the sex out of the way so you can snuggle up and really get to know a person afterwards. Let's face it, if the sex isnt any good then there's really no point wasting all that energy trying to discover if it's your soul mate. :) And after your first 200 - 300 or so partners, really, nobody seriously can be bothered worrrying about the trivial things like whether or not my new lover slept with me on the first date. Hugs Gaz
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RHP User
16 years ago
a guy who likes sex is a stud-----a female who likes sex is a slut---go figure!
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have given this quite some thought before replying...From my perspective, it is not about getting a woman into bed on the first date, it is more about continuing the investigation of a mental connection which we have developed through chatting, texting, emailing, whichever medium(s) we have used, before meeting...I personally am a very intimate, touching person so naturally if I feel a connection with someone I wish to experience more of it, yes, in a naked fashion, and like very much to explore a woman and find out what makes her feel great, delicious and yummy...If it is on a first date, that is great, but have dated several times before a real intimacy developed...I don't know if this answers your question or not Taby, but slut is neither part of my vocabulary, nor my being...cheers...Jose...
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RHP User
16 years ago
Why not sleep with someone on the first date or even the night you meet if you are in control and arnt getting talked into doing something you dont want to do .As for the fact he wont respect you in the morning well the last guy I slept with on the 1st date is still married to me 17 years later (god that makes us sound old) and I know plenty of so called prim and proper women and men who had sex on the first night and make out they would never think of such a thing now there daughters are "coming of age" lol
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RHP User
16 years ago
It's all about the chemistry. First date sex back in the 1950s was taboo for young woman and men were conditioned with the whole good girl/bad girl thing. Obviously now in the 21st Century things have changed dramatically. If the vibe is there then I say yay baby!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Unfortunately, there is that stigma of you being a slut if you putout on the first date.This usually comes from the same guys who will proposition you and send you e-mails and mesages along the lines of"Hey babe your hot, i want to blow all over your tits etc etc" you know te type.In short those guys who think you are a slut for putting it out there on the first date, are the very same guys you should not be putting it out there for full stop.The last girl who i gotit on with after the first date (Hell she pretty much raped me ) i ened up marrying within a year, and that was over 10 years ago. And i just LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE it when she ges her "Slut" on hehehehe yumvery gooey Mr Rough
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RHP User
16 years ago
i know this forum is supposed to be a guys opinion, and i know i am not a guy, but i would like to put a little of my own experience in here in hope that it might help someone else some day. i think sex on a first date is fine, if it happens. but PLEASE be careful! remember to be safe in more ways than one. once i had sex on a first date (and it was a blind date, i had not laid eyes on him before then), and four weeks later i found out i was pregnant. changed my life forever, but i stuck with him, getting to know him as our baby grew inside me. well, he turned out to be a nutcase, i ended up losing everything i had even the roof over my (and our now children's) heads (and almost my life coz he tried to shoot me) because i didnt get to know him before that night of hot wild stranger sex. so the lesson i have learnt, its better to get to know someone before sleeping with them. and ALWAYS use protection. i will never ever regret my children, but i do regret not knowing what he was like first. play safelove jemma365-117-082
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RHP User
16 years ago
Oh this is really a tricky one and I think it all depends on the situation. I mean if you've known each other for ages before hand or if this is the initial "getting to know you" date. Then it depends on what you feel you want out of the coupling. So sometimes it is fine and no you're not a slut but sometimes you might like to wait, not to not seem like a slut but to get to know the person better and enjoy the build up to that first sexual experience together. OK to try and summarise: If you know each other quite well beforehand then you might jump in the sack on the first date whether you see a serious future or not. If this is a first date with basically a stranger then I/we think it depends on where you feel you'd like things to progress to. If he's hot, you're horny and you don't really get the vibe of a long future then go for it, you're only young once! If you get the vibe that the guy is "Mr Right" material then we'd say maybe hold your horses and get to know him better, the resultant sex will be worth the wait. Of course this is all generalisation and you have to take it as it comes. Wanna know the Pups first date? Well first date was really sweet and kinda awkward as we were both super shy as we really didn't know each other that well but were dead keen on each other. So after a lovely night out resulting in one goofy kiss in a bar, we're standing outside waiting for cabs. So I ask where Ms Pup is staying tonight (as she had a share house but often stayed with parents - so not too leading of a question). Well Ms Sweet and Innocent Pup looked down at her feet, shuffled them, looked back at me with those puppy dog eyes (hence profile name) and said my place was closer! Oh err I think I fell in love with her at that moment! Well back to my place and I go to make up the couch for myself and again the puppy eyes and she says we can share my crappy single bed! Well I was besotted and really wanted to get to know her better so I did the chivalrous thing and didn't go all the way (oral sex isn't sex hey Mr Clinton!) Haha well we promptly organised a 2nd date for the next night and shagged each other silly!!!! So we didn't really heed our own advice but then as I said it's all generalisation. Have fun Taby, you hot thing you!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Equality for all we say.... Mind you, we have not dated for some time now.. lol.. 25yrs married now.. wooo hoo.. but we have had "first dates" with other cpls.. hehe... Sometimes we have played on first meet.. and the chemistry when we met was simply electric.. Other time we have met, had awsome chemistry between us all but put it off and built up the "desire" which also lead to some great fun..... So, simply do what works for you and don't lable anybody for their choices... It's all about the fun and enjoyment... That said... One would never want the other partner on a first date to be pressured into having sex because it was just expected.... That is not fun at all.. Mr&Mrs Av. xoxo
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RHP User
16 years ago
I dont beleve that there sluts at all, There ladys who are living there lifes. Afterall all we have is moments and 1 should make as manny memrobal moments as possable I beleve
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RHP User
16 years ago
i think alot of people have seem to forgotten that this site was built for finding sex its like no one wants to have sex on here anymore my man and i was having a debate about this yesterday we have an open relationship and i love my man very much but why cant you have your cake and eat it to your not a slut if you sleep with someone on first date i slept with my man on first date this is what this site was made for for peopleto get out there and live freely and express there sexual side but people seem to forget what its all about and use this site as communication network well hey if you want someone to chat to and be friends get on aussie if our looking for a boyfriend or girl friend go to another site THIS IS A SEX SITE PEOPLE people seem to spend there lifes on here making people feel bad about them selfs and talking about there crappy lifes in chat room BRING BACK THE SEX BRING BACK THE FUN BRING BACK THE NAGHTY LIFE SO GET YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND DO THE NASTY ALL NIGHT LONG SO NO YOUR NOT A SLUT IF YOU SLEEP WITH SOMEONE ON THE FIRST DATE YOUR ON A SEX SITE LVE KAT
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RHP User
16 years ago
And finally it doesn't matter what other people as long you have respect for yourself and the other person in the morning. The main point is live your life the way you want to, not how other people want you to and you will see evrything from a different perspective. Last of all there are always repercussions when dealing in this area as feelings are involved so keep the rules crystal clear. Hope it helps.
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RHP User
16 years ago
My dad always said never call a girl a slut. If there is such a thing then I love sluts.
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RHP User
16 years ago
We are are all consenting adults and can make up our own minds. Mars
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RHP User
16 years ago
FFS!!!.......names???.......labels???.......who really gives a fuck.......ppl who like sex and like to enjoy themselves.....dont need quasie catholic/victorian morakistic bullshit laid on them......now where was i....oh yeah.....some self lovin.......bye!!..............
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RHP User
16 years ago
LMFAO. I love it. and yeah. sex is upto the chemistry. if its there, get it on, and a condom. if its not, try it out anyway, just wear two. No girls aren't sluts if they rape you on the first date. they are just more fun, they havent got time for a relationship so they are getting the best out of u in a night. look at the bright side.And if they dont rape u in the first night, they are probably shy, scared of what ur going to think, give them the binifit of the doubt if they are in for another night.
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RHP User
16 years ago
It's also a site where like minded people can have broadminded discussions about things that usually are of a spicy nature. I enjoy much of the humour posted here coming from people of all sorts of sexual persuasions. These conversation cross the barriers of age, weight, looks, race and fetish. Taby has raised a valid question... and theres no harm answering it. People with strong urges can share lots of things between having sex? Just my humble opinion...
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piercedfun
16 years ago
i think do what ever you want to do and don't listen to people that call you names, calling a chick a slut is easy but most guys that call women sluts expect sex on a first date so they can brag about scoring on a first date i say do what ever makes you happy and if that is sex on a first date do it if you dont want to have sex dont at the end of the day everyone has to live with thier own actions if you want to sleep with a bloke do it if you dont want to dont you are in control of yourself and therefore you shouldbe allowed to do whst you wantwith out being type cast
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RHP User
16 years ago
the short answer.......IF U meet a ppl who DO think it's "slutty" of a "gal" .....they are the ppl you just DONT Bother with!!!!........they are a Pure unaldalterated waste of oxygen...........there .......I was sensible........but apart from that FUCK anything that gets ya juices running whenever YOU want!!.......
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RHP User
16 years ago
Does it really matters what anybody thinks about? Why living thinking 'oh my god what would they think of me',life is short,do what you want when you wanted if you can,without hurting anybody! Fuck on first date? if both want it! do it! enjoy the greatest pleasure that as humans being are been given! Cheers
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RHP User
16 years ago
Where are they? I havn't met one yet.I thought they were just being friendly, caring and shareing kind of girls.Hang on maybe I'm the slut
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RHP User
16 years ago
can we please not use the word rape to describe consentual sex? Thanks, T.
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RHP User
16 years ago
You guys want to take yet another word out of the dictionary because you find it hurts your feelings by falling under its category. Funny.. I have no problem when my wife is a SLUT in the bedroom. in actual fact I love it. Love her slutty behaviour during wild, passionate sex and encounters. Do we offend eachother by calling eachother SLUTS...............................NO. So what would you new age guys like the new term or word to be for this type of behaviour? To put it bluntly...Any man who says he doesnt want his woman to be a slut in the bedroom is talking through his ass. Get over it and keep it real.
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RHP User
16 years ago
If the guy you got on the date will is at all interested in having a futue he wouldn't put you in the position to have to have sex on the first date, yes most guy like to bring out the slut in thier partner in the bedroom, but if they can't control themselves on the first date to wait well thier not going to find you giving your best are they
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RHP User
16 years ago
my women love having sex with me on the first date- they breathe a sigh of releif when they finally get what they want and say afterwards- gee i thought youd never fuk me
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RHP User
16 years ago
same old thing! if a girl puts out on the first date or sleeps with a few guys then she is lable'd a slut , but if a guy sleeps with a heap of women he is a stud. like ifineeduillcallu said i think most men like there wife being a slut in the bedroom(i know i do) so why judge or lable other women a slut just because she like sex and she is being exactly like you want your wife to be
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RHP User
16 years ago
Putting aside the slut or stud debate (cause really who cares, your both adults name calling doesn't hurt anymore) it's more about what you want out of the date. Assuming your going on a normal date cause you kinda like this guy. If your on a date through a site like this then no go for the first date hot sex, we all love that and it can be the best sex, but a romantic proper date then NO. If your wanting the guy to like you then dont do it! Search the sites and see how many women in your area are ready to party. There are so many on these and other like minded sites all looking and prepared to get it on what makes you any different to the next girl? Your looks?- there always be someone more attractive, your personality? - there wont be much of a chance to show him you have one if his cock is in your mouth for most of the date. A man doesn't need to try and get laid there are plenty out there willing to give it up (not saying there is anything wrong with that, i am on here too after all). He may find you attractive but whats to keep him interested if you give it up? Sex is a carrot for men, a challenege, they all want what they can't have (don't try to deny it guys you all know its true as do we) Ever had a date when he wont give it up? Didnt that just make you want him more even if he was a bit of a prick they suddenly become much more attractive when you can't have them dont they?) He will chase you (if he likes you that is) then you get more dates and get to see what he's all about, AND he gets to know more about you than just your favourite position. If you don't give it up and he likes you he'll come back like an elastic band. I think sex for women is like the kick off of the game, sex for men is the goal. Simply my advice if you actually like them and would like to be dated by them dont give it up,if your not that interested in them play as much as you like this way you can have your cake and eat it, use the rhp guy to take out your sexual frustration when you want the other guy. no harm in that now is there?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Honey, you're describing a game people play. Sure there are desperados out there that only shark for skirt for the likelihood of a shag but frankly we're not all desperate and so easily manipulated. Sure sex is fun and exciting, but it's not the end game, just part of living an adult life. Sex is not a woman's gift to men, it is every bit just as much a gift from men to women... It's a fact of life that a woman who uses sex to manipulate her man to get her way is going to end up alone, sooner or later. That's because sooner or later, the guy is going to realise he doesnt have to stay faithful to a woman who is holding back because she wants to hold some control over him. Nope... sex is an expereince shared and savioured, not a bargaining tool for manipulation. Sex on the first date... who cares? Just my thoughts Gazza
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RHP User
16 years ago
Not a slut, if you like sex then you like sex.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Well I don't think I have had many 'dates' as such however this year I have had 3 that I would call dates and 2 what I would call meets.Of the 3 first dates#1 Didn't think there was any spark between us and admitted she was sort of working on another guy that she had been friends with for years. So nothing there.#2 Was shy as and almost frigid. I still talk to her online but haven't seen her in person since the first time. She has had one naughty moment sending me naked pics but she seems to have some issues. Still something could happen.#3 Absolute hottie (competes in marathons) that reckons she was surprised I looked like my pic as she had met several others that were nothing like they portrayed online. Went and had a wine near the water and after about an hour she all but jumped me. Went back to her house and she dragged me into the bedroom. Afterwards she said that she never let anyone else she met online even touch her let alone anything else. But she wouldn't let me stay overnight saying she thought she would never see me again after I had been with her. Fortunately we did and I did get to stay overnight. Still waiting for her to come down here now. Pity its over 2 hours away otherwise may have had a lot more fun. Must be said that those three dates were not from RHPThe two meets which both were from RHP were different as sex was expected before meeting and hence happened. One of them that was all it was anyway.Like others I think it all depends on how it goes on the date. I met a girl once that I had been talking to for awhile online that we ended up in bed about half an hour later, then she lived with me for 2 1/2 years. DO I think of them as Sluts in a derogative way, nah...
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RHP User
16 years ago
like seriously....I can see where your coming from when we live in a society where we get called derogatory names for being ourselves, but its ok when they do itjust like the next bloke, i enjoy the bump and grind and if opportunity knocks on the first date, well HEY! Doesn't mean I'll think less of you the next morning(only because most likely I instigated it)we live in an age where free love is in again...jump on the groove train and don't let anyone bump you off for enjoyin a free ride...dig?
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RHP User
16 years ago
After reading the posts on here there are so many valid points. 'Slut' why are females called sluts and males called studs - we are all on this site so I guess we are all sluts - we all enjoy sex. Sex on the first date will always be a debatable topic. Everyone has their own opinion and their own reasons for having sex on the first date or waiting till the 3 or 300th date. I have slept with guys on the first date and have waited to many dates down the track, the outcomes have been pretty similar. There are guys who will just sleep with you for the sake of sleeping with you, just as females will do the same. Some guys will date you and sleep with you (same with girls) until they someone more juicy that takes their attention. Sex can be a mental just as much as a physical thing. If you connect mentally with someone usually (from my own experience) the sex is pretty fantastic... It is purely an individual decision, made by two consenting adults. So who really cares what you do in your own private life :-) And lets get away from the childhood school yard names... we are all consenting adults indulging in the natural pleasures of life ..... SEX yummy
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RHP User
16 years ago
Life comes down to choices and you have to live by the choices you make and like you said if there is a strong physical attraction then why not might as well enjoy yourself.
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RHP User
16 years ago
i remember this one girl,( back in the days of been young and single ) she was stunning in every way and she never put out on a first date. and i'll tell you we lived in a huge house on the beach at palm beach, girls everywhere but when she walk by our house the boys rushed to the veranda staring at her like a bunch of mountian climbers admiring Everest, i finally wore her down and got a date with her, it was a great nite and she even slept over at my place but the prize wasnt offered, i was so close like those climbers almost at the summit but can't get there to stick their pole in.The next morning she walked past the boys on her way out, then they all gathered in the lounge room eager for news, the look on my face said it all, some time later i finally made it to the summit, that day is now a pubic holiday,
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RHP User
16 years ago
i heard a story in which the girl was complaining about how women that have multiple sex partners is looked down upon, however men who have numerous sex partners are free to brag about it. there was a very good analogy that hit the spot.. it goes like this... a key that can open numerous locks is a master key however a lock that can be opened by numerous keys isnt a good lock well thats my two cents worth =P
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RHP User
16 years ago
lil...story of an unfair state...... Not long after I first joined here I met a really sexy man...HOT!1...41 (now) and he drove in the daytime to meet me at a coffee shop in Bunbury...We were instantly attracted to each other...I wanted him..there and then! I asked him if he wanted to go back to my place for a romp..lol...He is like yes!!..would be wonderful..Now we had amazing connection in bed..Was too much fun!! After that 1 time..he called me and sms me several times a week..This went on for a cpl months..But he never asked to see me again..Very confusing... Then a private swing party was coming up that I was invited too..I could bring him if I wanted...I asked this man if we could meet before the party as we only met 1 time beforehand.. His reply to me was..........Why...we met on a sex site and you fucked me on first meet...( he just want the party..which the people who host the parties have black listed him) .. Well..I was dumbfounded and hurt.....He tried to make me out to be some cheep slut with no feelings...YES..I cried for a few days. He is the one who is also on a sex site and he loves that he can get what he needs sexually here... All double standards...Which I have mentioned in a few post previously.. Men who only see it as 1 sided..( too their favor only) are not worth time or friendship.. hugs to all the lovely ladies out there xxxxxxxxxxxxxx sweetpetite41 xxxxxxxxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Personally' I wouldnt even think of it that way. If the girl turned me on that much and we both wanted to bonk each other then why would I want to turn around and call her a slut. ? I have been there and never ever thought of any girl as a slut. I would much rather think of it as a successfull coming together between 2 people whos juices happened to flow at the same time. Now isnt that much nicer than looking for a reason to call her a slut ? Anyway' the term SLUT is mainly used as a put down by those who's role in life seems to be to bring down anyone who was successfull in getting a root for themselves. Fair Dinkum.... Mr JJ
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RHP User
16 years ago
As bendoverkitten and others have said - this is a sex site mainly - where people are looking for connections - so if u connect, surely sex is a factor? As girllikes2have says - sex, yummy - but adding labels to a woman or man is silly and potentially sexist. Surely we all are here for sex - and if we get in contact and there are sparks - well, I'm game - are you? As for the question - would I want to have sex with Taby001 - well, if I could overcome 1500km and discretion issues, absolutely. Do I expect anyone to jump into bed immediately - No. It's all about what each of us wants and desires - and if that connects....fabulous :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
this is a good question, but why do you ask only about 'her' ? u mean if a guy "scores" its ok, but at the same time she goes all the way she is not nice? wtf? goes both ways, girl!!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Sex on a first date shows spontenaeity and a willingness to have fun; but that is not the only thing that holds a relationship together. There must be that je ne sais quoi that chemistry that ignigted that spark in the first place, that keeps the fire burning. If there is no chemistry then it is merely a physical act of "mutual" gratification, not a connection of souls on a spiritual level. If people wish to obtain this state, then they shouldnt delude themselves when in their heart of hearts it has become a mere physical act.
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RHP User
16 years ago
ok my thoughts. I think with most encounters that you would arrange off this site, the guys would have the expectation that the night would end in sex which kind of means that everything prior to the act is most likely going to merely be premeditated process work to achieve a goal. This is how most of us are wired whilst we may try and paint a different picture, not that women would be thinking too differently as before such an arranged encounter i'm sure women spend that extra hour or so waxing or shaving areas that they think may well be seen or felt. lol. In regard to a normal date (and trying to be as introspective as possible), whilst I and most other guys would naturally 'want' to have sex, i would actually lose respect for the gal if that did eventuate and even more so if I could see that she had actually expected it. If a date just happens to flow in that direction unexpectedly with natural energy then that's cool and probably shows a natural attraction. The thing is, you can have a heated pash with someone at a bar or club, grab a number and arrange a date and realize there is actually no connection there. You can also connect with someone really well, date for awhile and then have sex which can be awkward and/or bland. I think a good medium is best. In regard to the slut reference, i'd consider a gal who sleeps around too much as being a slut not a gal sleeping on the first date however that action in itself would only add to such indicators used to come to that conclusion. If a gal is only sexually suggestive and flirty prior to a first date i think a guy can't help but contemplate the possibility of sex on the night. If a gal is sexually suggestive and flirty with everyone and the guy happens to land a date, chances are he will prob class her in the slut category or close to it and will prob not respect her but will still want to have sex with her. You also have gals who are sexy and alluring but not consciously sexually suggestive or flirty but just attract you. Personally these are the girls i like and they usually steer interactions based on getting to know you whilst you can integrate elements of subtle flirting which adds that healthy balance, like a parallel incline of sexual energy and genuine rapport which is a great formula for a genuine lasting connection or relationship. Then again depends what you want, I hate a gal who consciously acts contradictory to their feelings just to fit a social image so just be yourself and dont try to understand the slut label to merely steer clear of its potentially negative connotations. If two people want casual sex, no biggie...have ur fun.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Well i dont think a girl is a slut if she had or has sex on a first date... we are all adults here and if you , they , we end up having sex then that is what happens. Who else knows about it anyway and who kneeds to know? I have been on plenty of dates and some have ended up with sex and some have not and i dont think anyless of the girl i dated that night regardless of if we had sex or not...simply if i was attracted to her and wanted to see her agin i would hope that to be the case.. So sex or no sex certainly doesnt make a girl or for that matter a guy a slut in my book. P.S what is a slut anyway ?
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RHP User
16 years ago
I would not have a relationship with a person who i had slept with on a first date. i would feel as if she was a person who had very little trust. to be honest i woudnt even have a relationship off this site because its just a whole bunch of men and women who use each other for lust its not love.there is more to love than just a fuck because its cheaper than a hooker.
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RHP User
16 years ago
are you for real...... have a good look at yourself the way you are heading is your going to have 6 bastard kids to 8 different blokes living in a trailer park. check out some of the profile pictures and tell me that you actually care about love and feelings...Most of you people have forgotten how to love been hurt to much to love or never loved in the first place. most of You are boring and should take up extreme sports rather than seeking sex partners as a hobby.
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RHP User
16 years ago
slut =) lol, why not the second date ? i think total slut !
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RHP User
16 years ago
I recently had the same discussion with the 2 19 year olds I work with, strangely the the male said - 'it doesnt matter its no diffrent to guys and if we are compatible and are attracted to one another why not? I wouldnt think any less of them' - yet the young girl was saying that - 'you are a slut. How could you? You need to get to know somebody first' - Think I will take the young guys advice. If I feel that physical connection then Damn I want to get it on. Otherwise I am not likely to go back for a second date (unless of course there is a valid reason) And then if I am a slut so be it. I enjoy myself sexually and am not ashamed to be the person I am.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I agree with HotazIce.... you would hate to find out down the track the sex wasn't all that. It may sound terrible but if girls kiss doesn't get me, then i pretty much won't go any further. The kiss tends to be my indicator.lol. I think thats why I still love catching up with my ex now and then, its pure joy. I think Taby001 has a great point... your meeting the person to see if you really want to go further, its all steps in a direction. As far as women being sluts or not.... I thought all that was in the past. We don't judge people and we all have a past and really its about the journey. Anyway, my first POST! Yeppee. Just dont shoot me.lol.
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RHP User
16 years ago
If it's purely for the sex, that's totally fine. A slut is when she wants something in return aside from the sex alone (money or materials), now that is one
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tamworthguy46
16 years ago
Sex on a first date, Makes no difference to me, from a respect point of view to a woman......I think it only makes a difference if your a deranged fuctard, or a religious fanatic, I don,t care how many sexual partners a woman has had, as long as they are carefull and honest about stds. Love and PeaceTam
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RHP User
16 years ago
I agree with TheLittleHottie, Chemistry is definitely the defining factor. First date sex is just exploring one aspect of how the new friends get on, there's a myriad of other aspects so why not tick the box (so to speak :) ) on that one. Personally, It's never really worried me if it's ON on the first date, if the chemistry is there and it's not, there's hopefully the anticipation for the next date. If the chemistry is not there for either party, to have sex just for the sake of cumming may be as satisfying as a wank, after which you just want to move on and forget about the interlude. So to sum up, nup, I don't feel that a girl is a slut if the chemistry is there and she just wants to take charge of her own sexuallity and explore. Merry Christmas, I hope Santa is good to you all!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Are you for real !!!!!! I dare you to say your words to my face deary!!....look me in the eyes and tell me I have no soul and don't know what love is cause I am on a sex site! Why are you here? .... sweetpetite41<<< thinks cruel souls should be kept out of forums!
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RHP User
16 years ago
I can understand where all this "slept with me on the first date, she's a slut" comes from. Unfortunatley there are a lot of people out there, both guys and girls, who like to judge, rather than simply doing what makes them happy. I find the term slut to be beyond anything any girl should ever be called. If a girl chooses to sleep with someone on the first nite, then bloody unreal. People shouldn't bag that or see it as a bad thing and if they do, then they should keep their opinion to themselves. Name calling only ever hurts the person it is directed at. If the greater portion of the population was as open minded and free lovin as most of the people on this site, then everyone would be gettin a whole lot more random love and that can only be a good thing.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi Taby... first up I have to say you have one of the best profile pics... sexy in a sweet way. Anyway I know you asked for guys thoughts but I figured I'd add mine as well from a lesbian point of view. If a woman gives out to me on a first date I don't view her as slutty... it all depends on why we did it. If we both felt amazing chemistry and one thing led to another and then we had sex I feel good about it. If the sex is just as amazing as the chemistry was before hand then I will be doing everything possible to convince her to have a relationship with me. One of my relationships (10 months) started with a brunch meeting (not sure if that counts as the first date or just first meeting). We then had our first official date (dinner a few days later). The chemistry was very strong just chatting and when she went to hug me goodbye we couldn't let go for around 10 minutes... we started kissing (in the middle of the street) and then she asked me back to her place. The sex was mind blowing - never had anything like it before or since. She had me then. Even when our relationship started going bad a few months later the memory of that night kept me taking her shit because I so wanted to experience that again. We had amazing sex every time but the first night was the absolute best - perhaps because it felt naughty to be having sex on a first date (had never done that before). If you have sex on a first romantic date just because you want sex with anyone or feel obliged or whatever then I don't think that inspires alot of respect for you by your partner (when we are talking about romantic relationships not sex meetups) ... but if the chemistry is amazing why deny it?!
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RHP User
16 years ago
And if its good well they will always come back! Besides who cares what the male thinks as if hes going there on the first date he obviously is just as much a male slut. And as the old saying goes, A slut is a compliment anyway, just means you can get abit....
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi allTaby001, you're a gorgeous looking girl so any guy would be dreaming about sex with you on a first date...but as I see it, this is a filtering process for you, for want of a better description. If you have sex on a first date, he's got just what he wants and will either expect it from there on, or brag about his conquest and go looking for another.I enjoy having to work a little bit, having to flirt and seduce a woman, and I am sure you love being flirted and seduced as well, I imagine most women do..Make the buggers work for it, you're worth it and the anticipation and lead up can make it more enjoyable when it happens..then again I could be talking shit, but it's a free country!any other guys'n'gals agree?have fun Oz
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RHP User
16 years ago
If your looking for a relationship then don't sleep with the guy on the 1st date. If your after sex just go for it..
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RHP User
16 years ago
The guys will think you are a slut, but that won't stop them from pressing you for sex on the first date. So do what YOU want to do.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I don't go on a first (or even second or third) date either aiming for or expecting any form of sexual encounter - but different strokes for different folks. If it happens, it happens.However, if you're going out every time expecting your partner to play the horizontal tango on the first meet, then yes you might be a dog/whore who's just having sex for the sake of it.
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RHP User
16 years ago
My wife and I had sex on our first "date" if you can call it that. We've been together for almost 4 years and got married a couple of weeks ago... Clearly it doesn't bother me.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ive viwed readers psts from time to time and taken a bit of an interest in peoples views on differing subjects but never really had the drive or inclination to make a comment of my own. I feel this one deserves a little feedback however. The concept of a woman being referred to as being a slut, has never sat with me well, well not the way its used anyway, I love my intimate moments with a partner and her wanting to be my little slut *s* but thats an intimate moment and something to be kept intimate, I would never refer to a woman as a slut outside of that and it amazes me that others do, or women see themselves as that. What is it with society wanting to label or try and make a woman feel bad for being open sexually. Surely as long as a woman is honest about her sexuality with her partners and allows them the choice being fully aware whether they play or not, then it doesnt matter when, how many or with whom she sleeps with. labelling a woman as a "Slut" is simple minded .........................
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RHP User
16 years ago
Logically the first thing that people should do on a first date is have sex. This means that you will know straight away if you are sexually compatible. This is important as the relationship cannot work if you are not physically compatible. To be compatible does not just mean that you find the other person good looking. There is more to being sexually compatible than that. I have had dates with women who have had similar background to me, similar beliefs in many things, who I have thought were gorgeous. We were getting along very well but when we ended up in the bedroom things fell apart quickly. Sometimes that just happens. There is more to being sexually compatible than some people realise. If you are sexually compatible than the rest of the date and future dates should go well as you will be much more comfortable and relaxed with each other than you would otherwise be. This will increase the relationships chances of success. If you are not sexually compatible than it is best that you find out immediately, otherwise you are just wasting each other's time and building yourselves up for an even bigger let down over time.
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RHP User
16 years ago
If it is a slutty act for a woman to have sex on a first date, then the man you're having sex with is a slut too! Although for a man to be labelled a slut is like labelling him a sex god. So perhaps a better word for a man who has sex on a first date would be a 'pig' or a 'desperado' or perhaps even 'dog'. Just by asking the question, you're endorsing the whole stigma associated with women who are aware of their own sexuality and are not afraid to show it. Whether your looking for love or not, we all (men and women equally) have the right to express and act on our sexual desires without judgment. If your guy passes negative judgement on you for allowing him to express an act of intimacy with you on a first date, then perhaps he is not the kind of guy you want to date anyway.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Fuck like rabbits IF things just snyc!!!!...............but IF he dis's you......burn his car.....as he obviously doesnt have any balls to kick!!!
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newzensation
16 years ago
Having sex on the first date is definitely not slutty. I mean some of the best sex you ever have is with someone that you hardly no. I mean you can do what you want and the girls tend to be way more confident than the girl you have been seeing for a while who is nervous and insecure about what you may think etc. I know from experience that the best sex I have ever had is with my fiance the night we met at a club and went home and had the most amazing sex ever. i couldn't relive that if I tried.
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RHP User
16 years ago
This discussion reminds me of a joke between my best mate and myself 20 years ago. He at that time was bedding 10 times more women than I was men and I would say to him "Darling, what am I again? Oh that's right , you are a stud and I am a slut!!" Sexism is alive and well - but everyone has their own views!! Life is short - enjoy every moment!
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RHP User
16 years ago
if you happen to get sex on a 1st date it means you must've done something right to get in that position in the 1st place. Plus it takes 2 to tango!!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Girls are no more sluts for putting out on the first date than men are heros for geeting it in the first place. We do as we feel and if it feels good we do it. Livabit
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RHP User
16 years ago
Make your own rules..But if you go through that door make sure your just like the postman !!
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have to agree completly with Jasmiinee33... Quoting 'Jasmiine33'Besides who cares what the male thinks as if hes going there on the first date he obviously is just as much a male slut. Now lets face it guys the only reason all mens aren't sluts is because they just cann't get it enought... P.S. Jasmiine33 I'm out of messages so can you e-m or sms me...
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have to agree completly with Jasmiinee33...Quoting 'Jasmiine33'Besides who cares what the male thinks as if hes going there on the first date he obviously is just as much a male slut.And Guys we all want to be sluts, it is just up to the women to lets us be or not...Plus Jas can you Mail or t xt me...Searchforfun...
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RHP User
16 years ago
noone is slut the reason we are on RHP is to find a @#^K, if women are sluts what are we men we must be worse as i for instance find it hard to have a date without thinking about whats going to happen after,if a relationship evolves and lets face it the more meetings the more you must get attached so be it. if you want a relationship from the start there are other sites we can all join.
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RHP User
16 years ago
in fact if i dont get anything on first date i know for a couple hundred or more ive got many parlours i visit around town so i always get what i want without all the headaches !
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RHP User
16 years ago
thanks everyone for you different points of veiw... though I few comments I wonder about. I mean do guys get off being nasty? But all in all I had some great answers :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ahh to be a manwhore *sigh
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RHP User
16 years ago
If two people go out on a date & find they enjoy each others company & there is a mutual attraction would you not think having sex with each other would be a natural progression ??? Some may wish to slow that progression by not having sex on the first, second or in some cases even tenth date. Although i personally wouldn't mind either way, if there is a mutual attraction then why deny yourself the pleasure i say. A lady may also be continuing a relationship that may go nowhere & wasting time & effort without knowing if she is sexually compatible with the guy. Slut if you fuck on a first date....No Aware of your sexuality & open to knwing in every way if there is a chance you may want to persue it...Definitely Yes Mr Fun
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RHP User
16 years ago
If a woman is confident about it she won't look slutty. If she has no self esteem and doing it to please the guy the moment the fun is over he will figure out he's with a girl with no self esteem and move on for that reason. Face it sluts will sleep with their best friends boyfriend as they think it will make them seem better and falsely boost their self esteem. Confidence comes from within, it's not about point scoring. Sleeping with a guy on the first date can be done with elegance it doesn't have to be slutty and confident women will have men wanting to see them again - if they allow it. j
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RHP User
16 years ago
I think simply getting down to the matters at hand on a first date is a wonderful idea...and in fact could save both men and women a great deal of time and effort. For your consideration... | Why bother with all the vacuous and time consumig conversations, the cost of those dreaded mobile phone calls and worse yet, spending any money at all over drinks or god forbid, a dinner? Cut to the chase... | Let's just rethink the paradigm and simple all agree that we simply send a note, immdediately agree to a suitable venue, get together without talking or knowing each other in any manner and go at it until we are nearly unconscious. At that point if you enjoyed it, talk about and build from there. You are then not obviously a "slut" but a true romantic. | If you did not enjoy it, have a brief argument, tell the other person that they were miserable in bed and depart. You are then one or both obviously "sluts" and perhaps should head to confessional the following Sunday! | Perfect. Highly efficient and save on the inane process of interaction and limits any emotional attachments! | Short answer...there is no real answer. You have to trust your intincts, your heart and your emotions. I prefer the journey and not simply the destination.
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RHP User
16 years ago
why bother with the jorney if you just want a root....thats when stuff gets confused and people get hurt if you just want the person for a root...be honest about it...meet and root, go your seperate ways and everybody is happy if you want more from the person then thats where the journey is fun and exciting if you just want sex on the first date...your heart and emotions dont need to get involved roxxy xxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
a slut is someone you havent had sex with.......isnt it ?
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RHP User
16 years ago
great quote...
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RHP User
16 years ago
id have to say no if things r heating up in the moment then why not! why advoid something that both r feeling i dont judge people by the way they act or the things they do thats my opinion anyway!
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RHP User
16 years ago
seriously, the whole notion of anyone being a slut because they fck on a 1st date is a little puritanical, very passe and a lot backward...this is 2010 not 1950 something....
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