F63
The Vanilla debate
February 24 2016
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
We to love our vanilla life style - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Im with you. There is sex.....and there is sex. Porn style immediate get it on is great. But doesnt compare to the buildup of a few drinks, bit of touchy feel, kissing. Bit of connection. Those that say otherwise is because they get treated like a porn actor. They get fucked and then they are thanked and see you later. Whereas with a little connection at least, there is sex and sex then sleep with spooning and closeness. Wakeup. Bit of smooching. Touching. More great sex. Lazy sex is good then too. Breakfast and see you soon. Some people dont know about that though. Poor them. Ive experienced it all. What i described beats all other in the long run. Just my 2 cents as they say. Maybe 5cents but soon the min will be 10 cents. Fuck i remember pennies.........
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RHP User
10 years ago
I may go off on my kinky fuckery fazes. But I always come back to vanilla. Always
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RHP User
10 years ago
Just be true to yourself and don't justify yourself to anyone I love all facets of my sexuality and the thing is, its my journey, mine alone and I will take from it what I need
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have taken to using this term myself lately but only because I have recently at the ripe old age of 42! learned that sex is awesome with the right guy!! or however you like to play!!! Im discovering a whole new side of myself and sex and life in general and use the term Vanilla for my past and bad sex in my ex marriage! I dont mean it as a derogitve term to anyone (except my ex!!) sex is how ever you wanna have it I love the personal love making I have with my man which is sometimes hot and horny and sometimes sensual and passionate. We occasionally enjoy a little more but its just naughty sex. having dinner a romantic walk by the beach drinks and dancing all make for a fantastic night and build up to an even better time when we get home and there is nothing Vanilla about it!! single or coupled but my understanding of " Vanilla" and I may be completely wrong was a boring mainly missionary simple sex life or thats what it means to me.Live your life your way folks and if you enjoy what you doing who gives a flying fuck what other people call it? Its all about what you think!!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
is vanilla. Old fashioned, yes. Stubborn, yes. Never vanilla
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RHP User
10 years ago
Vanilla isn't a reference to what you described.. Vanilla is what you do in the bedroom. People who have good old fashioned hot sex is vanilla.... People who do kinky acts during sex are non vanilla. Some people from both groups still either meet and greet, date, go for drinks, etc and equally some people from both parties skip that part and go straight to the bedroom. Vanilla sex = foreplay, oral, sex etc Kink: a range of things such us Dom/sub, pain, filth, role play, groups etc If you meet just for sex or meet for a date etc, it has no relevance to the terms vanilla v's kink - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
... then I totally subscribe to that equation! I have been consumed by raging hormones so tumultuous, I feel like I simply MUST have sex NOW and have resorted to "unconventional" modes, by my own standards. However, after the typhoon has passed on, my preference would always be "vanilla", which I feel refers to romance, from kokoflamingo and Annie's descriptions. Maybe I'm a contemporary-conservative lady but if I were to just have sex without the pre-sex pleasantries like being wined and dined, good conversation, the guy showing that he really loves your company, etc. then I would feel kinda "cheap" and "used" in a way. If a guy is too lazy to work on the romance aspect first, then pussy won't be licking her lips for him anyway. I can almost hear howls of protests from the feminists and those who believe in "gender equality", etc. but what's food to the geese is poison to the gander and I'm sharing my feelings and opinions as it is and feel no need to defend those authentic sentiments.
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RHP User
10 years ago
It's usually more sensual to us :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Koko - I love your posts, your attitude and I wish I was in Perth a lot of the time. You guys seem to have a great social group as well as plenty of sexy times. I'm with you all the way...... Go Vanilla. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Shhhh don't tell anyone 🙊🤗😍 Vanilla is the best... And although it can mean that sometimes deep feelings result and perhaps feelings are hurt... At least there were some lovely memories made along the way through experiences ... Not just the passionate sexual encounters 🙋🏻 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
one of the things i most like about RHP is my ability to set my profile to 'meet first play later' it leaves no doubt about where i stand with that and likewise if someone is listed as play meets only I know that we aren't compatible and move on
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MsJonesy
10 years ago
And vice versa. :) I dont do random hook ups anymore as they left me wanting more...orgasms usually lol. I do enjoy swingers clubs (although I am not a swinger according to some as I am single) but prefer to play with people I have met before. My main friendship would be regarded as highly kinky (and probably highly immoral) by those not in the scene as it involves three of us. My other main friendship would be regarded as strange because of a distance factor. Both the friendships involve dinners, drinks, laughs, support....and great sex because we have spent time great times in each others company.. So what is vanilla? And what is kink? And does it really matter?
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RHP User
10 years ago
as I am not that "kinky" compared to the RHP fetish list. I love sex and I like a lot of it, all sorts of scenarios, I have had a lot of fun (thanks RHP).But I have to have a connection with those I enjoy my time with. If people think that's too "vanilla" for them, oh well..... in my opinion they miss out. Anyway, if you're enjoying what you're doing*, who cares what you call it? * do I have to add "with consenting adults"?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Not really into the kinky stuff.
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sweetgem
10 years ago
I'm a proud vanilla and have been one for all my adult life sexually 😛 It doesn't bother me how other people would think of me for not being sexually adventurous or daring because, they won't be the one to live with any consequences that might develop from an experience, but me! So, why should I care about other people's opinions in this case?! 😛 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Do they say you are vanilla just because you won't fuck any Tom, dick or Harry ? If so, I would be happy to be called vanilla :) It's your body and your life. Always do what's right for you. Lx
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RHP User
10 years ago
I live by the motto 'a lady in the street, and a freak in bed!' Vanilla means different things to different people. I love everything about sex though my preference is rough and tumble ;) and toys that bring others pleasurable pain! That's my thing, it's what brings me immense pleasure. Who cares what we 'label' it if you love what you're doing and it brings you pleasure. I know many people on this site (go figure) judge me and the way I live my life. That's because they try label something they don't understand, it's not in their repertoire so they criticise it! As long as you have two (or more) open, honest, consenting adults, enjoy I say :) Mary xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
That I am vanilla with a twist.....as pleasure _sor said,it's not about whether or not you are wined and dined,have a conversation it's what you enjoy sexually xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
In my early rhp days I had an encounter with a woman in a city hotel room after two brief messages, first one was something like "wanna fuck" second was to tell where to meet. So off I went thinking this is so kinky. Turned out to be the most vanilla sex of my life. And while there is no such thing as "bad" sex in my opinion, and I'm glad of having the experience, it rates pretty close to the bottom of my pleasure scale and I don't think I'll be going there again. ( I don't actually remember her name or if she is still on rhp) If "vanilla" sex means sex with some sort of conversation and connection, then I'm a big fan.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Yes sorry .....I know its about sexual preferences and kinks but Ive been called vanilla for saying I like to date and not just have sex with someone I barely know. Whether its a coffee or dinner on a first meet, I prefer to get to know someone first. Sometimes it is a great success and we arrange to meet for a play. And sometimes nothing happens. If people find that " boring" then fine.....I enjoy it and they are entitled to think what they want but my RHP life certainly isnt boring! Its good that so many other people see more to the site than just an avenue for random root and boots xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Im certainly not expecting every guy I meet to whisk me off to fancy restaurants! One meet was a 2 hour walk along the river. But I wont say no if Im asked out to dinner. Its a luxury for me and its nice to be treated now and again. I just like being in male company and finding out what he is all about xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
well said totally agree with you love your honesty we all want to be treated with respect and enjoy the times even if we're both not sexually attracted to one another .... If we are its makes it even better - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Hmm... I actually do have kinky tendencies. A lot of them I have yet to explore but the inclinations and fascination are there!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony' I can almost hear howls of protests from the feminists and those who believe in "gender equality", etc. Feminism doesn't have a problem with women wanting to have dinner with someone before they shag them. It doesn't even have a problem with the guy paying for dinner, if that's what both parties want and are comfortable with. If, however, one or both parties believes that the woman has to sleep with the guy because he paid for dinner, that's where feminism has an issue. Pretty sure you're into ''gender equality'' as well....unless you'd like to give up all those things like ''voting'', ''working'', and ''being able to make your own major life decisions without needing a man's signature / permission / support'' As for the vanilla thing, it's pretty stupid IMO to call someone that just because they like to get to know someone before they have sex with them. As has been pointed out, vanilla refers to the type of sex, not how you get to the sex. I'm sure some of the people who go on about shagging strangers are having very vanilla sex. Conversely, BDSM is considered very non-vanilla, but to practice the more intense variations of it safely you need a strong relationship with the other participant/s....it's not generally something you're going to do with someone you've known for 5 minutes.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'cherrylips13' although it can mean that sometimes deep feelings result and perhaps feelings are hurt... At least there were some lovely memories made along the way And that's about sums up romancing without intended to go all the way with it.Romancing usually ends up with one of the other or both having those strong feelings and sure as shit, feeling will be hurt of one of them is not in it all the way.We be so self indulgent for a bit of romance when you know its going to end in you or them being hurt when you or they find it never was a romance at all.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Of these romantic expectations and desires are what a loving relationship is about, constant re affirmations of love by way of romance.The person you do all those nice things with is someone you are in a living relationship with.To be doing that without people you only intend to have as FWB is a lie to yourself and them.You are wanting to have your loving relationship cake while eating a FWB too and if it hurts others then what ... tough luck for them.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I like it Koko...it just rooooolllls off the tongue . And I agree with what your saying. Applying definitions and verbal boundaries to what anyone does is just creating that box that so many profess to be living outside of.
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RHP User
10 years ago
FWB......friends with benefits. The friends part.....enjoying each others company, meeting for coffee or a drink, having dinner, whether its at my place, his or out. Catching a show or going to see a live band. Just catching up. Thats what friends do. The benefits.......great sex. Nothing in there saying "Loving relationship". Feelings can grow between 2 people in any situation. But thank you for your comment. ..."searches for a big pin..."
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
There's more to sex than getting your dick in, rattling away like a machine gun and pulling your daks up. That would be the only way to be sure of avoiding any development of feelings. And if that kind of sex was what women wanted, then they'd all be buying one of Chev's sex machines. And you'd be redundant.......
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RHP User
10 years ago
Please....consider stand up...Im here! You have "a way with words" xxx
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
I was a stand up once. Nerves killed me. By the time id drank enough to go on, i could hardly stand up. Xxx
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Seachange73
10 years ago
Quoting 'AnnieWhichway' There's more to sex than getting your dick in, rattling away like a machine gun and pulling your daks up. That would be the only way to be sure of avoiding any development of feelings. And if that kind of sex was what women wanted, then they'd all be buying one of Chev's sex machines. And you'd be redundant....... Are you working on commission on selling Chev's sex machine? Are you working from his dungeon? Any perks? Lol
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Test pilot
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Test pilot
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SassyRascal
10 years ago
Totally agree with you Koko
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony'Maybe I'm a contemporary-conservative lady but if I were to just have sex without the pre-sex pleasantries like being wined and dined, good conversation, the guy showing that he really loves your company, etc. then I would feel kinda "cheap" and "used" in a way. If a guy is too lazy to work on the romance aspect first, then pussy won't be licking her lips for him anyway. It's your right to want whatever you want, but the way it is phrased is really interesting to me "being wined and dined""the guy showing""guy too lazy" it's like extracting a price of sorts. Also "cheap and used" I don't get, or would it be better stated as "disappointed to miss out on things you enjoy". e.g. I like kissing, lots. But if I had sex and there wasn't any kissing beforehand I might be a bit disappointed to miss out on it. But I don't know how I could be 'used', since I don't have to have sex if I don't want to. The phrasing sets it up like an adversarial situation, and that's quite a large part of the modern take on women's being like chattels when it comes to sex - just haggling over price (payment in kind). I do appreciate that unlike many people, you kept it personal and not a blanket statement applying to others :-)So please don't take my post as an attack on how you like to do things - I just thought it was interesting the way it was phrased.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Is good but sometimes its better with a scoop of malt 🤔 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
S_OnTheLoose, it's a combination of upbringing, culture, etc. I'm not fully contemporary but not totally conservative either. I do have struggles between sticking to my values and letting myself live free. It's a constant dichotomy. What I meant was, I would like to be appreciated as a PERSON, not just a sex object. If a man appreciates a woman as a person, he would naturally want to establish some sort of relationship, wine and dine with her, enjoy her companionship, talk to her, give more than two hoots about what she thinks, what she is passionate about, etc. That is in contrast to a guy who just wants to do the Wham! Bam! Thank you, ma'am and goodbye! thang. That will make me feel cheap because to that man, I wasn't a person - all he zoomed in on was boobies and vagina. I wouldn't have wanted a shallow encounter like that so to be viewed as less than a person but just sexual body parts, that would make me feel shortchanged and definitely disappointed and upset. It's nothing about money because I live comfortably by my own means and I am an independant woman, thank you very much. But it's all about being treated as a person and not just as a sex object. I hope that elaboration clarifies my statement.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Luck Dragon and Summer Solstice, thanks for being gentle with your comments on my post. I do not totally believe in Feminism. I believe in certain rights being accorded to both men and women, ie. voting rights, equal wages, etc. But I kinda still prefer men to be dominant and to take on a leadership role on the domestic front. However, because I am a very strong lady, that man has to prove that he is indeed stronger and smarter than me before I will voluntarily hand over the reins to him, so it isn't that easy! It's not exactly easy to define without being misunderstood and attacked, but I suppose I like my men very masculine. However, he has to earn that right. And I present a huge challenge. In my life so far, only two men have earned that level of respect from me. To be in their very manly presence is in itself a huge foreplay for me. I tend to dominate men who are too "soft" and I hate that - it's almost like ... taming of the shrew. I WANT to be tamed, but I'm not about to be collared and leashed without putting up a fight. OK... that sounds rather Sub-Dom kink territory! On the verge of self-discovery and stepping out of the closet, maybe?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' FWB......friends with benefits. The friends part.....enjoying each others company, meeting for coffee or a drink, having dinner, whether its at my place, his or out. Catching a show or going to see a live band. Just catching up. Thats what friends do. The benefits.......great sex. Nothing in there saying "Loving relationship". Feelings can grow between 2 people in any situation. But thank you for your comment. ..."searches for a big pin..." What you do think separates friends from lovers in a romantic relationship.People in romantic relationships are friends too as well as lovers.Do you really think all men would never construe your romantic activities as a desire to be more then just friends. Did you sit down for a romantic dinner the first time and before the entrée said Oh BTW, this relationship is only going to last while it suits me and I'm not going to fall in love with you.Because if you didn't at some point then the other party can only assume the romance might be going somewhere, when its not.
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abcplus1
10 years ago
We like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'AnnieWhichway' There's more to sex than getting your dick in, rattling away like a machine gun and pulling your daks up. That would be the only way to be sure of avoiding any development of feelings. And if that kind of sex was what women wanted, then they'd all be buying one of Chev's sex machines. And you'd be redundant....... Thanks for that gem of wisdom.But WTF are you talking about ?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Is about supporting choice,how you live your life is your business ,if you want to be supported by a man to stay home and bake cookies and that is your CHOICE ,then go for it. If a man chooses to stay home and bake cookies and is supported by a woman that is the same. Whether or not the baker of cookies is the dominant or submissive in the relationship is also about choice.. This of course is just my opinion XxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Do you really think that every guy that romances you has honest intentions and doesn't just want a bit of your arse. Because all of the reasoning here is based in the romantic guys being the decent ones, but in the same sentence the ones who just want sex are the bad ones.Any real player will have the gift of the gab and will lay it on thick and bedazzle with a light show of romance to get your panties off, its a useful cover to hide the fact of who they really are.So swept off your feet you don't see the flaws. I know a few women who always seem to choose the arseholes and "cant find a decent man to save themselves" they say, but all suffer the same problem, they are suckers for romance, flowers and nice dinner waved at them and boom, they turn to putty, this guys is it and a bit, some time later we hear the tragedy of how Dream Boat sunk to the bottom. Some hit rocks, some caught fire, some just sprung a huge leak, others accidentally torpedoed by a press of the wrong button.They all seemed like such nice guys and so romantic, and dressed to kill.If something is too good to be true, it isn't true. If you want to find out what they really want then disarm them and take away the romance mask, daytime coffee meeting first and then make them think that you are easy going and don't like the beat around the bush and make out like you would be ok if he just said he wanted sex, don't make it too obvious though.And if you let down the defence you might find he just blurts out what he is really after and then you can save having to endure a fake romance routine and flip him the bird, no thanks. Don't be a sucker for smooth talking romancers.
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RHP User
10 years ago
xxxx
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RHP User
10 years ago
xxxx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Hmmmmmmmmmm My Favourite ! Vanilla through the spectrum to Black Sambuca , with a fair bit of cerebral fore, inbetween and after play ....... It really isnt that hard people so dont over think things and enjoy what you enjoy .... Cheers
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RHP User
10 years ago
At the end of the day - does it matter what others think. We are all here for great sex at the end of the day. How you choose to get there is really your own business.
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RHP User
10 years ago
It all depends on your perspective. One persons kink is another persons vanilla. Each to their own flavour. xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' At the end of the day - does it matter what others think. But what they say and do could matter somewhat.
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
That might mean im really kinky. I like great sex at the start of the day as well
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony'What I meant was, I would like to be appreciated as a PERSON, not just a sex object. If a man appreciates a woman as a person, he would naturally want to establish some sort of relationship, wine and dine with her, enjoy her companionship, talk to her, give more than two hoots about what she thinks, what she is passionate about, etc. .... It's nothing about money because I live comfortably by my own means and I am an independant woman, thank you very much. who said anything about money, I'm not even saying the guy necessarily paid for dinner? 'Price' wasn't used in the normal sense, if the assertion that a man who has sex with a woman right off the bat is a man who doesn't appreciate a woman and merely seeks to pay some price for sexual service is true, then you can just look at it as a transaction but instead of dollars as consideration we have "polite dinner conversation". Pay the price, get the goods. It's like a little bit of economics and information asymmetry that drives an inefficient process.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I love big words! Im very appreciative of your splendiferous maximus gluteus
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RHP User
10 years ago
I will translate for us simple worded people Hot Arse S_OnTheLoose !! 😁😆😜
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RHP User
10 years ago
Especially if you add a bit of malt or warm chocolate sauce with strawberries..... Oh hang on that might be regarded as kinky Have a great day all - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Inspirt...Well said!! Enjoyed your comment and was right to the point.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Im upfront with every guy I meet and tell them Im not looking for a serious relationship. Yes of course I know he wants " a piece of my arse" and the feeling is mutual......I love a hot butt..mmm...but would I rather have a guy who wants to spend time with me or one who turns up at the door rushing in dick at the fore for a quickie? Answers on a postcard please. Winner gets a voucher for a romantic dinner for 2 :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
You're bang on the money there with your thoughts and no matter what they say about not wanting a relationship, bull. Read through the forums and it's very clear. Ask any guy who's been on these sites for a while, they say the same thing. I get guys ask me what I'm looking for? I wouldn't think I could be much clearer here or in my profile but because other women aren't in touch with themselves it appears they throw me into the pool with the rest
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Really...... . ?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Or woman for that matter,the ones who tell you what you what they think you what to hear are fairly easy to spot...insincerity oozes out of them...However being romanced does not mean you don't have your eyes open xxFreya
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MsJonesy
10 years ago
I am struggling to understand why you make a direct link between having dinner together and romance. In my world sharing a meal is a way to catch up, share some news and laughs and to settle into each other's company. The same applies for having a drink together before any action occurs. It is not a case of having the candles lit, a violinist softly serenading in the background and a huge bunch of red roses being delivered! Its a case of just hanging with my fwbs, enjoying their minds, laughs and flirts before we enjoy each other's bodies. Sure, if it were fb all this would be irrelevant, but we are not discussing that sort of arrangement. Oh....another thing to add. I pay my own way, or we take turns shouting each other. Not much romance attached to that, thankfully!! ;)
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precious142
10 years ago
Quoting 'Summer_solstice' Why not share a great meal with someone whose company you really enjoy? Not like we're linking arms when sipping our Champagne or sharing our spaghetti like Lady and The Tramp... So true.......
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RHP User
10 years ago
Inspirit xxxxxxx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Freya70' Or woman for that matter,the ones who tell you what you what they think you what to hear are fairly easy to spot...insincerity oozes out of them...However being romanced does not mean you don't have your eyes open xxFreya The easier ones to spot are easy to spot, but that under estimates the talent some have.Well educated intelligent and immaculately dressed. And you may have no trouble spotting them yourself but sadly most women don't and get over whelmed more easily than you would by romancers.
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MsJonesy
10 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' You're bang on the money there with your thoughts and no matter what they say about not wanting a relationship, bull. Read through the forums and it's very clear. Ask any guy who's been on these sites for a while, they say the same thing. I get guys ask me what I'm looking for? I wouldn't think I could be much clearer here or in my profile but because other women aren't in touch with themselves it appears they throw me into the pool with the rest And you're not? Really, you're being quite ridiculous when you throw that sort of accusation around when you yourself are open to the idea of a relationship. To quote from your profile: I'm open to an ongoing thing or relationship if the right guy comes along (open relationship only, I don't possess the jealous gene, you can fuck whoever you want, turns me on, be nice to get an invite to join in or watch occasionally, and pry me off your dick first lol). It would be nice at some point to find 'the one', a partner in crime, someone to share myself with fully, give my heart to, you'd have to be as horny as me though and seriously turn me on.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' Quoting 'PurePeony'What I meant was, I would like to be appreciated as a PERSON, not just a sex object. If a man appreciates a woman as a person, he would naturally want to establish some sort of relationship, wine and dine with her, enjoy her companionship, talk to her, give more than two hoots about what she thinks, what she is passionate about, etc. .... It's nothing about money because I live comfortably by my own means and I am an independant woman, thank you very much. who said anything about money, I'm not even saying the guy necessarily paid for dinner? 'Price' wasn't used in the normal sense, if the assertion that a man who has sex with a woman right off the bat is a man who doesn't appreciate a woman and merely seeks to pay some price for sexual service is true, then you can just look at it as a transaction but instead of dollars as consideration we have "polite dinner conversation". Pay the price, get the goods. It's like a little bit of economics and information asymmetry that drives an inefficient process. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ And how is it an "inefficient process"? Because men who just wanna do the Wham! Bam! Thank you, Ma'am! thang are being hindered? It is all about Economics - demand and supply. If there are other men who are willing to be friends first (supply), and their numbers overwhelm the actual demand (women), then bingo... those men get the deal. And as for information asymmetry... wherefore does that exist? There is no asymmetry whatsoever because it's plain as day - some of us want the whole works with sex, and not just sex alone. What is asymmetrical about that? To the women who want that, it can't be more symmetrical than the frank way we've put it.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Ah Probity, matter of time before you attack my posts once again. Bring it on! FYI, I hate to sink your boat, but Mr Dream Boat never romanced me. I knew he was a Player and a very Charming one at that, but I am new to this, and I wanted to give my fantasy a bit of airtime, and he played my fantasy Dream Boat man very well. I knew it wasn't going to last and that's why I gushed about it. People are multi-faceted. Some things aren't to be taken at surface value. Because I've struggled with sicknesses and various other bad situations for the last few years, I decided this year to pull up my socks and make the most out of the awful cards I have been dealt with. Mr Dream Boat is my "Mr Unattainable", so to be able to cruise on that boat even for that little while, thrills me to bits and I actually wanted to feel that euphoria knowing that sooner rather than later, I will have to land on the rough terrain on my bum. Probity, if you find joy in seeing people suffer misfortune, ie. in hearing about my Mr Dream Boat sinking, then you are seriously one sorry specimen. Christmas is over but it looks like Scrooge lives on.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Romantics get in the way of discovery and the first meeting should be to discover as much as possible about them without any influence. Put it this way, Ill tell you one rule of dating for guys often suggested is:Don't date during the day, leave it till evenings and do it over a nice dinner. In the evenings the female will be more relaxed = more pliableYou'll be well dressed in evening attire.You'll be in a place that sets the moodLighting will be lower so they don't see as much. All of these things are designed to in short, fool women into rooting you. Never meet during the day in your day time clothes that are more the real you, without romantic settings or mood to save having to get down to too much straight talk, hard to be romantic in a busy café or shopping mall, no bright daylight they can see every flaw. Discovery is what the first meeting is, to find out if they are shonky, wonky or stinky and to find out what they look like when they don't turn on the dog for a romantic outing. So if you want to avoid all those things and find out exactly who they are without the cover of night or romance then women need to do the opposite of what dating manuals tell men to do to fool women. Its that simple.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have absolutely no problem with women on here using this for a dating site and wanting to be romanced its just not what we're after (being a couple and all). Or going on dates before getting down to other business if thats how you would prefer it termed. This debate is tired. I'm gonna go have a beer.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony' Ah Probity, matter of time before you attack my posts once again. Bring it on! FYI, I hate to sink your boat, but Mr Dream Boat never romanced me. I knew he was a Player and a very Charming one at that, but I am new to this, and I wanted to give my fantasy a bit of airtime, and he played my fantasy Dream Boat man very well. I knew it wasn't going to last and that's why I gushed about it. People are multi-faceted. Some things aren't to be taken at surface value. Because I've struggled with sicknesses and various other bad situations for the last few years, I decided this year to pull up my socks and make the most out of the awful cards I have been dealt with. Mr Dream Boat is my "Mr Unattainable", so to be able to cruise on that boat even for that little while, thrills me to bits and I actually wanted to feel that euphoria knowing that sooner rather than later, I will have to land on the rough terrain on my bum. Probity, if you find joy in seeing people suffer misfortune, ie. in hearing about my Mr Dream Boat sinking, then you are seriously one sorry specimen. Christmas is over but it looks like Scrooge lives on. I didn't attack your post at all.I made reference to the Dream Boat but simply to restate the point that reality can catch up to expectations pretty fast and dreams sunk.You had hopes, they didn't eventuate, that's allAnd I wasn't wrong about that anyway was I "if you find joy in seeing people suffer misfortune" Well id give you a big hug to console you but the tyranny of distance prevents it I'm sorry.Serious though, you met a guy, had hopes, he was a douche, you'll be over him soon, or sooner. And if that's what you call misfortune then I'd say you're doing well in life, and you've still got your looks too so what's to feel misfortune over.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony' It is all about Economics - demand and supply. If there are other men who are willing to be friends first (supply), and their numbers overwhelm the actual demand (women), then bingo... those men get the deal. Big mistake to think this is a buyers market.Quantity means nothing to quality.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' You're bang on the money there with your thoughts and no matter what they say about not wanting a relationship, bull. Read through the forums and it's very clear. Ask any guy who's been on these sites for a while, they say the same thing. I get guys ask me what I'm looking for? I wouldn't think I could be much clearer here or in my profile but because other women aren't in touch with themselves it appears they throw me into the pool with the rest Have no doubt a few guys here are a bit gun shy and make sure they get the details right.
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RHP User
10 years ago
So, what you're saying is that no other women in here are in touch with themselves and you are the only one and you're not happy that men put you in the same category as the rest of us? Do you seriously want to go there because you are far from being in the same category as the rest of us. And believe me, honey, that is no compliment. I've met some women in here who are not only beautiful on the outside, but also beautiful on the inside and are they in touch with themselves? You bet they are! They not only know what they want but they have the confidence to go out there and get it. But if you read their posts in forums, their posts don't ooze advertisements about how kinky they are, how high their sex drive is and how their sex drive is not being met. Do they land you lots of messages because, when I was a guest in here, I didn't have to post smut to get the sort of attention I wanted. I've been a regular in forums here in RHP for a few years now and, until you just decided to put yourself up on a pedestal and insinuate that you are far better than other women in this site, I have chosen to remain quiet about many of your posts. However, that is one post that I cannot just scroll past and remain quiet because I feel you have insulted all other women in RHP and some of them are my friends! Koko, I've never thought you to be "vanilla". There's nothing wrong with wanting to get to know someone before you can feel that attraction or wanting to have non sexual fun outside of the bedroom. I think that border around vanilla is different for everyone. As it was already said in this thread, someone's idea of kinky may be someone else's idea of vanilla.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Please.....publish this very informative dating tip manual so we can take time and study it properly inbetween romantic interludes. You might make your fortune? Or maybe not
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RHP User
10 years ago
In my opinion vanilla is not what you described. It is what is done 'in the bedroom'. Vanilla is the more traditional foreplay, oral, sex etc. Kinky is more what you find in the fetish interests. Both can start with going out before anything happens in the bedroom...kinky or vanilla. In fact with a D/s dynamic for example communication is key. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thank you for saying we "other women" are not all like you...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Probity' Quoting 'PurePeony' It is all about Economics - demand and supply. If there are other men who are willing to be friends first (supply), and their numbers overwhelm the actual demand (women), then bingo... those men get the deal. Big mistake to think this is a buyers market.Quantity means nothing to quality. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ Please read my comment again. My "supply" referred to men who are willing to be friends first, which equals quality men who give women what we are after.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony' Quoting 'Probity' Quoting 'PurePeony' It is all about Economics - demand and supply. If there are other men who are willing to be friends first (supply), and their numbers overwhelm the actual demand (women), then bingo... those men get the deal. Big mistake to think this is a buyers market.Quantity means nothing to quality. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ Please read my comment again. My "supply" referred to men who are willing to be friends first, which equals quality men who give women what we are after. You hope it equals that but you'd be kidding yourself if you think because they want that they are therefor quality.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Do you mean about posting? Well you got the details right and good for you for having the balls for saying it
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RHP User
10 years ago
the debate..... But I'll offer this.....if someone totally unimportant to you makes you feel judged the way I feel as tough you do.... I think it says more about how much headspace you're giving them, more than what it says about you and the activities you choose to engage in.... Just sayin :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I really dont care what people think of me. But - because Ive been singled out in the chat rooms by people I wasnt even talking to.......I just wondered why they felt the need to do it and to say that really, Im happy with how I do things and each to your own. If my life choices bother them, Im wondering why? Anyway, its nice to see that most of the women here do like to be treated with respect and like to spend time with FWBs as well as just rolling in the hay with them. I probably chose the wrong wording for the title, but its been very insightful, thanks to everyone for your posts xxx
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precious142
10 years ago
i don't get paid enough to think after 4pm on a Friday...so!!! Let me think mull about this post for the weekend while I indulge in a few ....... Have a great weekend people! Watch this space xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Summer_solstice'Not like we're linking arms when sipping our Champagne or sharing our spaghetti like Lady and The Tramp... so if we make them daiquiris instead?Quoting 'PurePeony' And how is it an "inefficient process"? Because men who just wanna do the Wham! Bam! Thank you, Ma'am! thang are being hindered? It is all about Economics - demand and supply. If there are other men who are willing to be friends first (supply), and their numbers overwhelm the actual demand (women), then bingo... those men get the deal. And as for information asymmetry... wherefore does that exist? There is no asymmetry whatsoever because it's plain as day - some of us want the whole works with sex, and not just sex alone. What is asymmetrical about that? To the women who want that, it can't be more symmetrical than the frank way we've put it. It's an inefficient process because both parties are being hindered with a back and forth that just increases sunk costs. You don't know if you're going to get the date that you want, he doesn't either. The information asymmetry is the information about the quality of what we're transacting for, and the prices each one is willing to trade at. (I'm not saying it's an inefficient market - though I daresay it is) Perhaps in this case we could say it's about how much you're willing to trade for. You could think of it in terms of used cars* I don't know the quality of the car I'm buying it might be great or it might be a stinker, I also don't know the price. The seller doesn't know my max budget and how motivated I am as a buyer, but they do know the quality of the car and what their lowest price will be. But we have to get there - all the while incurring sunk cost in the form of time. But what I thought was interesting anyway, is that "ongoing conversation" is used as a surrogate for "appreciated as a person", which it doesn't really mean - it just means someone has managed to keep a conversation going in a suitable manner. As a real life example, I know one person who I think is absolutely smashing as a person (with a very healthy dose of mutual respect) - in the "length of conversation" model it'd fail horribly, given the first major interaction was a good solid half an hour of incredibly hot kissing in a cul de sac (my apologies to the people waiting in the car to leave). I just think it is better stated in terms of getting what you enjoy - you enjoy conversation and all the little "date" stuff. I like kissing, and you know them back for not good enough conversation, I'd knock back someone who devoured my face. But neither of them indicate someone appreciates you as a person - a sufficient robot could perform either task. It can't appreciate me as a person though - but it can make me feel as if I feel it does. (again, I've got no issue with people who like to discuss, or people who like to get straight to it - I just find it interesting to look at what people say they want) * for those familiar with Akerlof, I'm intentionally veering away from the normally stated example.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Perhaps I'm weird....but the "why" of it doesn't seem to hit my radar of importance lol as I feel that as much as I can't understand some other people's choices, they will never understand mine either.... :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' Please.....publish this very informative dating tip manual so we can take time and study it properly inbetween romantic interludes. You might make your fortune? Or maybe not Google itThere are how to manuals all over the net.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' Thank you for saying we "other women" are not all like you...thank fuck for that. There should be more people like her here and less of the other women who kid themselves its a romance dating siteBlind Freddy can see this is a sex site, its written all over the place
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RHP User
10 years ago
To those who have called you Vanllla - I'd be calling the police! Because clearly they have been watching your every move in the bedroom 😋 Geez - I can't believe people in this day and age actually enjoy human interaction that's not behind a screen? And people who want relationships with others? What's that about? Friendships, FWB, or shudder to think anything more? And don't get me started on feelings things for other living creatures! What a terrible waste of time and heart space that is. It would be much better world if we were all malignant narcissists. Because one cannot possibly lead a fulfilling life if their feelings aren't mirrored by the person they are interacting with 100% of the time. I can't wait for the day that I'm sitting in my rocking chair at the nursing home - and I can reflect on my life and say with pride "I made it through all these years without ever having to get to know what it's like to feel love! I made it through without ever having to connect deeply to another human being. My life was so enriched as a result."
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RHP User
10 years ago
What is vanilla in man's or woman's mind is not in another's! What I call kink... is called deviant or depraved by some and spectacularly erotic by others ... what I call vanilla is called fabulous by some and dull by others... vanilla is an integral part of most kink activities... but not all... Does it matter... NO! All that matters is that whatever is done is consensual and at the end of the day each party has a big grin on their faces. When one or more parties walks away and is unhappy... then something is wrong and there has been a miscommunication or deception somwhere ... abuse or merely an accident. Continuum... at one end we have full on scenes where participants are in dungeons... blood and cold steel may be involved... restraints, machines, men with women, men with men, women with women... beatings, tears and screams may be heard. At the other end of the continuum... Brad and Jannet smile with white glinting teeth... he gives her a corssage and chocolates... they share a vanilla malt and hold hands (OK I grew up on a diet of happy days and Rocky Horror), prior to making out in the back seat of the family car. Somwhere in the middle we all find our place... in my case... that spot varries depending upon whom I am with and what we mutulay enjoy on the day...
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have had lots of messages from disgruntled guys saying they have joined up and are " not getting any". Apparently their mates told them to get on here and have lots of free sex. I think these guys would all now disagree with you that it is plainly a sex site. Reading your posts, I get the feeling you are devoid of emotion. Which would be sad. The feelings I have when Im with one of my male friends are very real. I care about them and am happy when Im in their company. They are not just a handy hard cock. Youd like for more women to fuck for the sake of it? Wrong place...the women I know on RHP have hearts. But joking apart, you should write a book. Be intricate material for the professionals to decipher.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Most interesting. I find this site to be very informative. Until I joined RHP I did not know what 'vanilla' is. It seems to be many things to different people. How did you meet your 'vanilla' friends? When you meet, what do you talk about?
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RHP User
10 years ago
The people who say that you have the wrong approach on here, simply arent getting any. Stomping their feet and crying out "noooo, you are wrong.Listen to me", tells more about their experiences than they would like to admit.
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Koko's approach is working for her and many others. Just as clearly, the approach used by Probity and many others is not. You can keep ramming your theory down our throats to get us to agree. But the only thing we can agree on is....... You wont be ramming anything down many throats at all.
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RHP User
10 years ago
You will evolve and you will learn. I believe your passionate comments are coming from a good place but how many casual meets have you had? Was that your first fuck buddy?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Can't we all join the support group? 'Lean on me' 🎶🎼🎹
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RHP User
10 years ago
Yes and you can keep ramming your opinions down our throat, it's called a forum, you know, different opinions
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RHP User
10 years ago
Myself and Precious started the Perthsocialites group. We arrange meet and greets and the aim is to get people actually meeting instead of sitting at home behind the computer. We got some stick at the start but the RHP owners are happy with it and we have made lots of friends through it. We are organising a National meet and greet in Adelaide in October. A few of the girls regularly catch up for lunch and drinks. I said " vanilla " tongue in cheek. Our discussions would say otherwise. But we have a great social network here. And more often than not, people who come along end up meeting playmates and FWB.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' You will evolve and you will learn. I believe your passionate comments are coming from a good place but how many casual meets have you had? Was that your first fuck buddy? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ I don't kiss and tell. But I've broken my rules and had NSA. Naughty pussy couldn't resist those juicy, fat worms wanting some attention! So it's not a hard and fast rule. LOL!!! So nope... that wasn't my first FB but for some reason, I had some sort of emotional entanglement to Mr Dream Boat despite seeing all the red flags. It's kinda like knowing not to walk towards a tornado... but doing so anyway. I know it doesn't make sense but it happened. I allowed it to happen and I can't explain it but ah well... Perhaps I wanted to live a little bit dangerously and experience something a little different, if only for a while. Maybe I wanted to build strength as I survive the sinking ship. Step out of the box, allow the "disaster" to happen and then resurface and say, "Gee, that wasn't so bad afterall... and I have survived!" A personal social experiment of sorts. Haha! Eccentric, I know.
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RHP User
10 years ago
There's a difference between an opinion and putting your opinion forward to a point where you feel the opinions that don't match your own are wrong. Unless I misunderstood, I think that's where Annie was coming from. I love forums because I get to see the many different opinions others have. Sometimes, those opinions are put out in with a very forceful "my opinion is the right and only way to go" tone, which is very unfortunate.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' I have had lots of messages from disgruntled guys saying they have joined up and are " not getting any". Apparently their mates told them to get on here and have lots of free sex. Reading the posts here 5 or so years ago as I just was then having a laugh at the faux rage of some of the current posters, they would have been right about the free sex back then.
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