M50
Ask Jean a Question
January 21 2010
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
Great idea Jean.. I wish I had though of it. haha. I get the same kind of mail too at times. Although most of it is from people giving ME "advice" rather than them seeking mine... hahaha. Some people get a ittle bit cranky don't they!! Shheeesh!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
hehe... Your topic should get a sticky just like Mrs P's forum search post! OK bebe, Why do women treat me so mean? I'm always trying to be such a good little boy... no worse than any of the other children.... but when the ruler comes out.. I'm always the one who gets a spanking... Even dedicated subs seem to take particular pleasure in bashing me up... but I really just like cuddles... Why Jean?.... Why are women so unkind to stalky? OK... and another question.... Why are you always checking under your hood... errrr.... and do you need a hand with that? Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Jean Girard, I get a sore ear when giving my boyfriend a blowjob... What am I doing wrong?Please help.Yours,Hard of Hearing in Adelaide
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have a problem. I really enjoy my fruit and vegetables but the cucumbers and carrots keep disappearing. I seem to always get left with the beans and brussel sprouts. I don't understand where they are going as my husband doesn't cook and doesn't like them raw ? The other night I had a weird dream and woke a little wet. I looked over at the bedside table and noticed a half eaten cucumber. Can you tell me where they could be going ? The strawberries and even the frozen blueberries are missing too ! I don't want to get scurvy ! Thanks, Ms Juicy Fruit
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RHP User
16 years ago
The sore ear problem is quite a common one. What i suggest you try is putting your fingers in your ears and swallow harder!Hope this helps s
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RHP User
16 years ago
Saturn86,If consumed in that manner, does that count towards your recommended 5 a day????s
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RHP User
16 years ago
I like women under 25yo but the more i bitch and moan, the less they seem to like me! What am i doing wrong????Whiteh......i mean um Anon
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RHP User
16 years ago
Do you take photos of light houses when you're not giving advice?
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RHP User
16 years ago
I want to know if there is anything i can help you with under that bonnet ?????????? Im pretty ' Handy ' around cars
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Dr jean.... Why are men wombats?
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have a sore left testicle? What might it be? Cheers
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RHP User
16 years ago
Just wanted to know if you are the father of my unborn child... I did shag a few guys that week Mrs Sassy
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RHP User
16 years ago
I'm secretly in love with Stalky, and often have wet dreams about Whitehawk... Should i end my life or can I be cured ? Trev
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Jean, I need ideas quick. A couple are coming around tomorrow morning and I promised them a really good time. It's role play with the theme music from "Bonanza" and I promised to play the role of Hoss... but I'm not that big... you know... HOSS.... and when I get nervious... I'm a little bit... limp. A solution came ot me in a dream so I've collected a kitchen wizz, a watermelon, 3 litres of paper glue and the Sydney Morning Herald but I cant remember what I'm meant to do with that stuff. I've run out of ideas so how can I fake it? What would you do in this situation? Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Jean, I was recently told by a woman that I couldn't have sex with her unless my cock was 6 inches long......that presents a huge problem for me..... If I fold it in half, it is exactly five and a half inches. She is really hot and I desperately want to sleep with her.....do you think near enough is good enough ? DoggyStyle.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'sweetpetite41' Dear Dr jean.... Why are men wombats? Dear Sweetpetite, Tricky one this... you really should work on your grammar. But to answer your question, a male wombat is called a Jack. Lots of love JG
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'sophie_74'Dear Jean Girard, I get a sore ear when giving my boyfriend a blowjob... What am I doing wrong? From what I can see - nothing. You are giving your boyfriend blowjobs and that is admirable. Not wrong. If you are trying to overcome the pain, I would suggest you have an air pressure problem, you most likely have some sort of blockage in your eustachian tubes. Suck on a Vicks, or Fisherman's Friend during any future blow-jobs. Lots of love JG PS - Your boyfriend can thank me another time.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'single1_4fun' I have a sore left testicle? What might it be? Cheers This can be either a problem with the scrotum or a faulty testicle. We will need to pinpoint the root cause. Firstly, swap your testicles... so pop the one on the right to the left, and the one on the left to the right. Is your left testicle still sore?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey there Trev, I checked your profile, and I think the cure is closer than you perhaps realise. However I've been looking for an excuse to move back to Perth, so if you find yourself inexplicably drawn towards Stalky I am happy to look after Kilee while you scratch whatever itch you have - just in a doctor / nurse professional kind of way of course. I have had similar dreams about Whitehawk, and the only cure I have found is to never go to sleep. It hurts, but not as much as wasting a load. DJG
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Dellaroo' I want to know if there is anything i can help you with under that bonnet ?????????? Im pretty ' Handy ' around cars Hey there Dellaroo, You could fetch me another beer. There's also something caught in the fanbelt...but you need to be careful getting it out. You see I don't want to damage the fanbelt, I'm a bit of a tightarse. DJG
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' hehe... Your topic should get a sticky just like Mrs P's forum search post! OK bebe, Why do women treat me so mean? I'm always trying to be such a good little boy... no worse than any of the other children.... but when the ruler comes out.. I'm always the one who gets a spanking... Even dedicated subs seem to take particular pleasure in bashing me up... Why are women so unkind to stalky? Hey there Stalkster, Just bloody lucky I guess, I don't know why you have to rub your luck in my face. But if you insist (and I bet you do), could you at least wash it? OK... and another question.... Why are you always checking under your hood... errrr.... and do you need a hand with that? I just like to keep things clean under the hood. My dad told me it was very important. I've been doing OK for now... but if it needs a really thorough clean... the sort only two men could give it - I'll be sure to let you know. PS - Just so I don't embarrass myself - which hood were you talking about?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'roughfukr1'I like women under 25yo but the more i bitch and moan, the less they seem to like me! What am i doing wrong????Whiteh......i mean um Anon You're in luck... my specialty is women under 25... or it was until the principal got the restraining order sorted out. But I digress.. I've read many of your posts Whiteh... I mean Anon. And to say you make the ladies hot is an understatement. These young'ns love an Emo. You should bitch and moan a little more, cut yourself (not too deep) and grow your fringe super long. A bit of makeup will do you good, but not too much (Ridge has nightmares!) PS - Return those profile pic clothes to your dad and buy some black teeshirts to wear with your sisters jeans too. Job done!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'HotOzCouple_cc'Do you take photos of light houses when you're not giving advice? At first you freaked me out a little.... Because I have indeed taken photos of lighthouses. I thought "How long have they been following me... and why?" But then I realised it's a trick question. Who hasn't taken a photo of a lighthouse? Good one! My real hobbies in life are crepe connoisseur (they're not gay... they're just like thin pancakes) and continued training for my career in Formula Ern. Now stop following me.... actually I just checked your profile, I don't mean that!! Come hither.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'mr_mrssassy' Just wanted to know if you are the father of my unborn child... I did shag a few guys that week Me too!! But you're the only one who's complaining of nasty side effects. You probably won't know it's mine until he (or she) is about 4. If he/she is a hot, obnoxious smartarse, it's probably not worth bothering the DNA scientists - they're busy enough and we'll know the answer.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I received a strange txt message today. It said, "I'd like to see you ride like a Cowboy". I'm rather confused. Because I'm a woman I can't actually be a Cowboy... does he want me to dress as a man ? I always end up with a stiff lower back after I've been riding. I think it has something to do with all that bopping up and down. I keep moving up and down, up and down, faster and faster then I move side to side and front and back. I end up really sore. How do I let him know that I'd rather ride a unicycle than a horse ? BTW ... I find you very sexy Dr JG ! xx Ms Giddyup
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'customer69' What side of the bed do you sleep on? I am happy to swap sides, if you want to come to Sydenhamcheeky Trish The side closest to the window... some say it dates back to cavemen and women. The man would sleep at the entrance to ward off the occasional triceratops' - these days we still say it's to protect the lady, but some argue a window makes for a valuable cog in an exit strategy. PS - Why change sides... we'd just be chasing each other around. Or is that your kink... nasty!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'sophie_74' I get a sore ear when giving my boyfriend a blowjob... What am I doing wrong? If I can interject on the good doctors advice giving for a second. Tell your man that traditions are there for a reason - hand goes on back of head, not holding the ears. Kids these days....
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'saturn86' I have a problem. I really enjoy my fruit and vegetables but the cucumbers and carrots keep disappearing. I seem to always get left with the beans and brussel sprouts. I don't understand where they are going as my husband doesn't cook and doesn't like them raw ? The other night I had a weird dream and woke a little wet. I looked over at the bedside table and noticed a half eaten cucumber. Can you tell me where they could be going ? The strawberries and even the frozen blueberries are missing too ! I don't want to get scurvy ! Thanks, Ms Juicy Fruit Fruit and Vegetables are sneaky bastards at the best of times. Sometimes vegetables disguise themselves as fruit, and this has even resulted in punchups at trivia nights. Now I have a theory, but don't want to elaborate on it in case the little bastards are on the interweb. What you need to do is buy a broccoli.. not from Coles or Safeway, but from a F&V shop. Be careful in there... the places are full of fruit and veg, and if you read between my lines - they're little bastards. You want a broccoli with a big 'head' (think uncomfortably big, not 'curious' big)... and a stalk of a 'pleasant' diameter with ripples. Assess how your husband walks the next morning. If it's 'unusual' (you'll see what I mean), you're going to need to investigate further. I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship, but you need to somehow get a look at his bum. If you see something green and furry sticking out of it, that's all the evidence any court will need; he's the vegie gobbler (and contrary to your thoughts - he does like them raw!). For reference, print out my profile pic... that's a normal bum (albeit a bit hairy) - but notice there is nothing green. The whole waking up wet thing is difficult to assess, it really requires a house visit. I suspect the seach for missing blue and strawberries also will. Jean "It never hurts to help" Girard.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'BadBadDog' Dear Jean, I was recently told by a woman that I couldn't have sex with her unless my cock was 6 inches long......that presents a huge problem for me..... If I fold it in half, it is exactly five and a half inches. She is really hot and I desperately want to sleep with her.....do you think near enough is good enough ? DoggyStyle. lol I bet she's an engineer or an architect or something.... these ladies can be difficult to trick and shockingly accurate with their protractors and stuff. I've done some practical work here on the couch... now it's all on a different scale but my theory should work on you as it did me. Here's the trick - don't fold it EXACTLY in half. You can make it any length you want this way. Don't say it.... I will.... GENIUS. Good luck with her. If you luck out pass on my number. I should get to 5.5" with a suitable pump and promise to teach her a bloody lesson in fussiness.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Dear Jean, I need ideas quick. A couple are coming around tomorrow morning and I promised them a really good time. It's role play with the theme music from "Bonanza" and I promised to play the role of Hoss... but I'm not that big... you know... HOSS.... and when I get nervious... I'm a little bit... limp. A solution came ot me in a dream so I've collected a kitchen wizz, a watermelon, 3 litres of paper glue and the Sydney Morning Herald but I cant remember what I'm meant to do with that stuff. I've run out of ideas so how can I fake it? What would you do in this situation? Hugs Stalky Stalkster. So often, the answer is in the question itself. To borrow a famous quote from a movie with very few lines "You've seen it Max, you've heard it.... and you're still asking questions?" Begin by hollowing out the watermelon, and buy another litre of paperglue. The rest will come naturally - like riding a bike. PS - A Bonanza roleplay... like winning Lotto in my books! Hope you got this in time.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'customer69'Quel écrimage faites-vous aimez-vous pour vos crepes ?Trish de citron et le sucre? Google Translate
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RHP User
16 years ago
its only giving you problems and will lead to melanoma the way you work on it. can get you a good price on a second hand commodore(can't give it away). my problems are difficult and varied and should be diagnosed by a healthcare proffessional.ahahahahahahahaha, Earl.ps. seriously, if you need advice on that piece of shit let me know. you been under that bonnet for months, lol.
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RHP User
16 years ago
worked in market gardens before. could probably give you some tips on growing some healthy fruit & veg.hugs Earl.
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RHP User
16 years ago
googled "just ask jean" and got a picture of some arse working on a datsun.ahahahahahahahaEarl.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Jean Missy is always eager to please Headmaster, and regularly come up with norty ways to taunt and tease him, sort of like showing my appreciation...well um and coz me is cheeky. So Jean...What norty, decadent, mischievious, delicious fings do you suggest for me to surprise him with, on Valentines Day? Thankies in advance. xxMiss Honeyxx <<
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear JG, I've heard that after a period of no use the vagina of a post menopausal woman is prone to heal up and copulation is no longer possible. It's hard to determine if this is in fact true or false as they are most reluctant to open their legs for a closer inspection. Can you please suggest a long term remedy for this unfortunate phenomena?
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RHP User
16 years ago
I have this recurring dream where I'm walking through Hurstville in a pair of Manly Sea-Eagles shorts, high heels, red lipstick blue eye shadow? Can you tell me what it means?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'xxmiss_honeyxx' Dear Jean Missy is always eager to please Headmaster, and regularly come up with norty ways to taunt and tease him, sort of like showing my appreciation...well um and coz me is cheeky. So Jean...What norty, decadent, mischievious, delicious fings do you suggest for me to surprise him with, on Valentines Day? Thankies in advance. xxMiss Honeyxx << Miss Honeyness, I've assessed your profile, and given your Sexual Interests make it into two columns, I think you could teach ME more than I can teach you! But I didn't start an advice column to apologise for my prudeness, so here goes. Valentine's day is a bugger, because you always feel compelled to outdo each other. But this is silly. Some will jump the gun and say organising a CBD hotel room with two ladies to pleasure HM can't be beat. But this is V Day... it should be about the two of you. Instead of going for the 'wow' factor, I'v pulled this from my book of cliches: A picnic in Kings Park overlooking the city. Pack champagne and sexy food (see Saturn for assistance here) and candles (check for Fire Bans of course). One of those mossie candles to keep away the biteys and not spoil the romantic mood. And remember - it's romance, not frantic love-making that you are having tonight. Make it awkward like a first date. And whatever you do. DO NOT HAVE SEX. You're both expecting to - and that's boring. You don't look like you'd give it all up on a first date, and you wouldn't tonight would you. You can kiss and cuddle if you must... but any hormones and wetness is to be avoided. Spend the night in a nice hotel overlooking the river, and hold out on him until morning. As the sun cracks over the horizon, you can do anything on your tick list, and to be frank, you should really be aiming for everything on that list of fetishes. PS - You're not stupid, so I'm not going to remind you about a late check-out and morning breath.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'saturn86' I received a strange txt message today. It said, "I'd like to see you ride like a Cowboy". I'm rather confused. Because I'm a woman I can't actually be a Cowboy... does he want me to dress as a man ? I always end up with a stiff lower back after I've been riding. I think it has something to do with all that bopping up and down. I keep moving up and down, up and down, faster and faster then I move side to side and front and back. I end up really sore. How do I let him know that I'd rather ride a unicycle than a horse ? BTW ... I find you very sexy Dr JG ! xx Ms Giddyup Ms Gee Gee I had to ask my sister about this one, she has three horses so figured she would know. But instead of knowledge - I got a slightly repulsed look, possibly similar to the one you made when you received that bizarre text. It could be that he was relying on the autospell function of his phone... 'ride' could really be 'shed' and 'see' could be 'pee'. Subsituting these words doesn't make his original message much clearer, but maybe you two have some sort of 'in' joke that I don't know about. At first glance, there doesn't appear to be anything wrong with your riding style - the lower back area can become quite stiff though. A massage with large hands can work wonders here. The thumbs along the spine and the fingers and palms working the lower back and side muscles. Ideally the hands almost wrap around to your tummy, but this is only possible with a hand - tummy ratio of 23:1 In any relationship, communication is the key. We have seen here what can go amiss when you rely on texting and autofill. If you want to communicate the unicycle idea to him, I suggest being open and honest. There's nothing to be ashamed of. But if you text him, your phone might turn "uni cycle" into "tug awake" - your relationship is already suffering from text communication, so I would call or do this face to face. Happy trails Dr G
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Jean, I have this contact who is relatively new to RHP and he is obviously the kind of character who is going to be very popular with the ladies because he has a delightfully disarming sense of humour and a very cute butt. Now... I wouldn't be a half decent narcissist if I didnt want to hang out with the popular nre boy in town.... so how can I suck up to him... you know... what do you think I could do for him.. hehe.. to get on his wingman list so I can ply him with alcohol and ... without you know... well he's straight? I don't want him to think I'm gay or anything.... ? What do you recommend? Hugs Stalkyboy
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RHP User
16 years ago
DR Jean.... Your not nice!...... sweetpetite41<<< sticks up middle finger and walks off......fookin grammer police...
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey, This guy really does give advice.....crap advice mainly but advice all the same !!! Doggy.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Aunt Jean im not a mechanic but im fairly sure that is not the best way to check if there is any spark left in the battery or how low the water in the radiiator is. And i may be mistaken but dont you check the oil with a DIP stick ? but i do have questions.... like where does dust come from ? (just did the housework) I think eunich may have stumbled onto where it is going. and to be a cougar...how much younger does the man have to be ? and if i prefer them around my own age cant i have a sexy title for that too ?? (hmmm..... minx ?) is anal the new sex like 40 is the new 20 ? is oral no longer in favour ? why do i go weak at the knees over some mens wrists ? Is this a new fetish ?? is "coffee" really code for "f### me f### me f#### me now " ??? will inviting a casual ongoing buddy to a social event strike fear into their hearts ? Is it impolite to have more than one at the same function? would that make them feel easier or not ???? does being reincarnated make you buddhist ? but most importantly.............. why dont laptops have handles ? oh that feels so much better now... thank you cheers Miss b
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RHP User
16 years ago
but it isn't my thread, so will wait and see what the Jeanius says
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'eunuch'Dear JG, I've heard that after a period of no use the vagina of a post menopausal woman is prone to heal up and copulation is no longer possible. It's hard to determine if this is in fact true or false as they are most reluctant to open their legs for a closer inspection. Can you please suggest a long term remedy for this unfortunate phenomena? Hi Eunuch... I hate putting investigations on hold.. but this is a job I am not sure on how to tackle comfortably. Firstly we need to determine if this is fact or a rumour. I was going to ask my dad, but was scared my ears would melt. I'm going to need you to assist with this by conducting the difficult closer inspections. I imagine there must be some sort of "Legzopena" beverage the elderly imbibe. I'm thinking you need to arm yourself with Drambuie or Cooking Sherry and head down to the nearest hip replacement clinic. Concentrate on the out-patients as they will be wanting to try their new hips out and you're less likely to break 'things'. Once you have confirmed that things are closing up on the elderly, let me know and I'll run it past the brains trust. I sincerely hope this investigation ends here though, it's kinda icky. Dr JG PS - Have you wikipediad this?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Ridge_Forester' I have this recurring dream where I'm walking through Hurstville in a pair of Manly Sea-Eagles shorts, high heels, red lipstick blue eye shadow? Can you tell me what it means? *wolfwhistle* Don't tease me like that you handsome bastard... Or at least if you're going to - have a look around tonight and tell me if you see any street names so I know where to look for ya. Are you sure it's not a nurses outfit? The Doc.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'BadBadDog' Hey, This guy really does give advice.....crap advice mainly but advice all the same !!! Doggy. It's not advice... it is knowledge. The difference? Advice is optional. Knowledge is fact.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'missbowpeek' Dear Aunt Jean im not a mechanic but im fairly sure that is not the best way to check if there is any spark left in the battery or how low the water in the radiiator is. And i may be mistaken but dont you check the oil with a DIP stick ? but i do have questions.... like where does dust come from ? (just did the housework) I think eunich may have stumbled onto where it is going. and to be a cougar...how much younger does the man have to be ? and if i prefer them around my own age cant i have a sexy title for that too ?? (hmmm..... minx ?) is anal the new sex like 40 is the new 20 ? is oral no longer in favour ? why do i go weak at the knees over some mens wrists ? Is this a new fetish ?? is "coffee" really code for "f### me f### me f#### me now " ??? will inviting a casual ongoing buddy to a social event strike fear into their hearts ? Is it impolite to have more than one at the same function? would that make them feel easier or not ???? does being reincarnated make you buddhist ? but most importantly.............. why dont laptops have handles ? oh that feels so much better now... thank you cheers Miss b Miss BP I think I need to refer you a forum topic posted by OneBrightStarhttp://redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/Questionshow-many-is-too-many-26665 Refer bulletpoint 3. - Slack wife / housekeeper. - 10 Years - Partner - No, anal sex needs to remain taboo. If it becomes the 'new sex' I shudder to think what sick things we'll need to do to each other to break taboos in the future. - Oral sex is still in favour. Some young ladies believe it is an appropriate kiss good night. God bless their little cotton socks. - Because wrists are hard, throb and have thick veins running through them. Remind you of anything? - Coffee generally gives questionable breath freshness. So coffee where coffee is consumed is not likely to be "F#$% Me", but "Coffee *wink*" most certainly is. - Buddies at social events = Fear. You're crossing the line. The quantity is irrelevant. - No - Because the Laptop Bag does. PS - That is definitely the best way to check for a spark in the battery! PPS - PeachyPear... feel free to elaborate.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Dear Jean, I have this contact who is relatively new to RHP and he is obviously the kind of character who is going to be very popular with the ladies because he has a delightfully disarming sense of humour and a very cute butt. Now... I wouldn't be a half decent narcissist if I didnt want to hang out with the popular nre boy in town.... so how can I suck up to him... you know... what do you think I could do for him.. hehe.. to get on his wingman list so I can ply him with alcohol and ... without you know... well he's straight? I don't want him to think I'm gay or anything.... ? What do you recommend? This guy sounds awesome... I can't blame you for wanting to hang with him so to speak. I would suggest finding something in common. If you have a cute butt, why not show it off as well. Come up with a nickname for your friendship... like "The Butt Buddies - but straight" or something. You say he has a sense of humour, perhaps try to tone down the seriousness of your posts and try to inject (in a straight manner) some humour into them. Male-Male friendships are difficult to initiate. You may find he's on the defensive a little ever since he jokingly expressed an interest for trannies in another thread, rumour has it just as many men check out his profile as women - men that are less than straight. Oddly, no trannies. Good Luck Dr G PS - How was the Bonanza Party?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'customer69' Qui paye ce qui ?Who pays for what?Qui paye la salle ?Who pays for the room? L'homme, s'il est un vrai homme. La femme est là pour faire joli, paient pas. (Loosely translated - the man.)
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RHP User
16 years ago
pee your shed like a cowbowahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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RHP User
16 years ago
Heeeey how about straight up butt buddiesQuoting 'Jean_Girard' Quoting 'stalky' Dear Jean, I have this contact who is relatively new to RHP and he is obviously the kind of character who is going to be very popular with the ladies because he has a delightfully disarming sense of humour and a very cute butt. Now... I wouldn't be a half decent narcissist if I didnt want to hang out with the popular nre boy in town.... so how can I suck up to him... you know... what do you think I could do for him.. hehe.. to get on his wingman list so I can ply him with alcohol and ... without you know... well he's straight? I don't want him to think I'm gay or anything.... ? What do you recommend? This guy sounds awesome... I can't blame you for wanting to hang with him so to speak. I would suggest finding something in common. If you have a cute butt, why not show it off as well. Come up with a nickname for your friendship... like "The Butt Buddies - but straight" or something. You say he has a sense of humour, perhaps try to tone down the seriousness of your posts and try to inject (in a straight manner) some humour into them. Male-Male friendships are difficult to initiate. You may find he's on the defensive a little ever since he jokingly expressed an interest for trannies in another thread, rumour has it just as many men check out his profile as women - men that are less than straight. Oddly, no trannies. Good Luck Dr G PS - How was the Bonanza Party?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Quoting 'missbowpeek' but i do have questions.... like where does dust come from ? Miss BPDust is fine, dry particles of matter, a lot of it comes directly from our bodies... :-)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Kileetrev' I'm secretly in love with Stalky, and often have wet dreams about Whitehawk... Should i end my life or can I be cured ? TrevOh that is the funniest thing I have read all night..well done Trev..
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amiira
16 years ago
Dear Jean,Do you sleep on your tummy? If not, can I?lv Blinky xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
I am embarrassed, because I don't know how the "dating"scene works any more. What etiquette applies, these days. I don't want to be viewed as a tight so and so, nor an easy take for a free meal by every pair of semi exposed ta~tas that get flashed my way. So I'm out for afternoon tea in a fancy little deli in Norton Street... and we order affocata, then she has a double choc top latte with a dash of vanilla.. she has skinny milk... and I have a glass of water (free) and I order a couple of cookies... but she ate one! Then she says she is still a bit peckish and orders a slice of chocolate mud cake.. and I warn her.. that the servinge are absolutely enormous and she will never get through it alone... but she says she will try and if not I can have it... so the cake comes out... and sure enough, she orders an iced coffee with extra cream and a dash of icecream to help try and wash that great big chocolate mofo down... She has like about 23% of the cake and excuses herself... off to the rest room for a fart she says... but I know she's probably doing the finger down the throat trick because she is a skinny arsed little bitch and no doubt was making room so she can scoff the rest of the cake... so while she is away I ask the waiter to slip the cake into a take away box so I can eat it later... When she comes back I tell her the waiter took it away... no word of lie.. that's exactly what he did.... and the bill comes... with my take away box... Now.... should I have to pay for everything? I mean... she's a skinny arsed little bitch and I did warn her about the cake size... anyway she got really pissed off when I handed her $3.90 for my coffee and one biscuit... and throws some money on the table and storms off.... like wtf Jean? Am I wrong? or what?? I kept the change.. I mena, no reason to leave that there... the waiter was an arsehole. Confused Stalky here
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RHP User
16 years ago
You were right not to tip the waiter. The rest of your date looks like a bit of a disaster despite you doing almost everything by the book. This girl is not for you - I'd say it's a star sign incompatability thing. My only suggestions (and, please understand that these are refinements not criticisms) 1 - Don't rely on memory to divvie up the bill. Keep a live ledger, especially if ta-ta distraction is likely. A napkin is OK to use in a cafe, in fancier sorrounds use a PDA for added spectacle. 2 - Always call and thank your date for the great time you had together. She'll appreciate that. 3 - There are 1900 numbers that allow you to screen for potential star sign or name mis-matches. Consider them - use your office phone to save money. Don't blame yourself - this was not your fault. DJG
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear JeanI thought that all women wanted emotionally was love, tenderness, romance, appreciation and flowers on a Friday night, but on these forums I have learned that they also need a 9+ inch cock.I have heard that the way to achieve this is to pull hard when the wind changes and it will become permanent (suffice to say my methods to achieve this exclude 'folding')To this end I have subscribed to SMS weather updates, and while initially showing promise, all I have achieved is a series of very embarrassing scenes, particulaly when I am at work or on public transport.I have also ordered a box of structurally reinforced underwear in anticipation, but it looks like these will not be needed. (sniff).Mrs SR. says that I am being silly and is cross at me for ordering the underwear.She has offered to sell it on ebay, saying she needs to get the buyers size to check if suitable, and full name and address for warranty purposes.Jean I am becoming desparate - what am I doing wrong?Yours Mr. SR.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'blinkyblueyes'Dear Jean,Do you sleep on your tummy? If not, can I?lv Blinky xx 1. On my side - but I am easily trained. 2. Yes DJG xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'seductionrules'Dear JeanI thought that all women wanted emotionally was love, tenderness, romance, appreciation and flowers on a Friday night, but on these forums I have learned that they also need a 9+ inch cock.I have heard that the way to achieve this is to pull hard when the wind changes and it will become permanent (suffice to say my methods to achieve this exclude 'folding')I have also ordered a box of structurally reinforced underwear in anticipation, but it looks like these will not be needed. (sniff).Mrs SR. says that I am being silly and is cross at me for ordering the underwear.She has offered to sell it on ebay, saying she needs to get the buyers size to check if suitable, and full name and address for warranty purposes.Jean I am becoming desparate - what am I doing wrong?Yours Mr. SR. Mr SR Are you're a quitter?? It sounds like it. You need to make a decision here... are you going to give up on what is a proven penis enlargement method or are you going to keep wasting your money on flowers? I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're not a quitter. You're in luck - I've just been to the dentist, they numbed my gum, and clearly this has also numbed my usual short tolerance for quitters. Today MR SR is your lucky day: Step 1 - Delete your Ebay account. You're going to need that underwear - and soon. 2 - Your partner is significantly older than you, so take advantage of her failing eyesight - be warned, this will only buy you some time. Take her glasses down to the National Geographic shop and find some manifying glasses that fit in them. Presto - you look hung 3 - Cut and shut a ruler. When people measure things, all they look at is the '0' mark and the actual measurement. Cut an inch or two (or whatever) out of the middle of the ruler and glue together. Noone notices and 6 inches becomes 9 inches. Again - this is still just a delaying tactic. When MrsSR is on all 4s in the bed, she's going to know whether she's got a deer, a horse or a wombat to play with. 4 - Keep working on the stretch. The best place to spot a wind change is on the water. Given your penchant for public transport nudity I'd suggest a ferry. Hop on, stretch and wait for the wind to change. DO NOT do this on a cold day, or we're back to square 1. Are you still here?? Aren't you meant to be at the NatGeo shop? Good luck.. Doc PS - Mrs SR... Babe be warned you're in for some fillin'!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear lucky Jean...... Iif was to say "I'm thinking phhooooaaarrhhh right now"... what's my question? hehe HUgs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Ridge_Forester' I have this recurring dream where I'm walking through Hurstville in a pair of Manly Sea-Eagles shorts, high heels, red lipstick blue eye shadow? Can you tell me what it means? For the record Ridge.... I would never wear bright red lipstick.. that's a younger girl's colour. :p Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
My new sofa for my office arrived today. It's brown leather and it looks really nice in my office. The problem is ... every time I look at it, I get very horny and want to fuck the next male I see. I don't know if it's because I can finally have sex in my office without being bent over my desk or whether it has something to do with the brown leather. I would like to be able to use the sofa for its intended use... that being to sit on, not fuck on. But right now I can't even look at it without getting wet. Please help me...what should I do? Yours, Ms Rawhide.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi Saturn, This is a classic case of a subservient relationship. That sofa has it all over you..It's sitting there, flexing its biceps all smarmy with a cheeky grin on its face knowing the power it has over you. This is a dangerous relationship, at the moment you'll do anything for that sofa and it knows it. "Kill a man!", "No problem" you'd say. "Buy me a drink", "Here you go". I have done a lot of work in this area... in fact everytime I go out with an attractive woman I learn a little more about subservience... but I digress (often). But I also had an examination table that treated me like this. What you need to do is teach that sofa a lesson. Currently, it thinks everything's going to be cruisy at this new job... "a few people sit on me now and then but other than that - I'm in a nice office and I can get that chick (you) to do whatever I want... hehe - look how wet she's getting just looking at me. Man this is gonna be good. Who's the boss bitch? Who's the boss? I AM!" How do you reverse this? How do you get on top? You need to teach that sofa a lesson in debauchery! The sooner it realises that days aren't going to be all beer and skittles, and that at any time of day it could have knees, elbows, naked butts and boobs pressed into it and bodily fluids and massage oils spilt onto it, the sooner it will realise that you have the upper hand.. In my experience, sofas are slow learners... This could take one, two hour session or several reps. But by the end of it, it will shudder and look down when you walk near, and more importantly, you'll still get wet when you look at it... but for all the right reasons. If this doesn't work, get some fold out chairs. Yours in leatherness Doc Girard
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Jean Girard,Well, your advice didn't work and my boyfriend dumped me... while I was giving him a blow job during MOTD... I almost choked on my Vicks lozenge!Now I'm interested in this new guy... but something's not working... we've been RHP flirting like crazy... and he even sent the "I'll marry you tomorrow" one... but since then whenever I try to call or text or email or message or skype to set a date (a long engagement would be fine, really, but I need the security of a date) it seems like he's avoiding me.. I've even tried checking his profile at all times of the day and night but he's always updating it... and I can't access it... I don't understand... maybe he can't find the right words to explain he's met the girl of his dreams??? But then why doesn't he answer me??? Why does this keep happening to me?? What am I doing wrong?? I try and I try to make guys love me but it always goes wrong! Why? Why? Are all men just emotionally unavailable or just the ones I love? Why won't they commit to me? They promise me the world with their flirts and then when they've hooked me in and I've picked the flowers and the venue and ordered the dress, they back away. I try not to be needy or clingy... calling 10 times a day isn't a bad thing... I just like to know where he is and what he's thinking about...every hour... but I feel like he doesn't appreciate my efforts... Is it me, Jean Girard? Is it me?Yours,Desperate in Adelaide
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RHP User
16 years ago
So Jean.....what colour panties do I have on?? hmmm?? Correct ansa and ya can sneak in between the sheets on Valentines day, and have ya first lesson hehe with me and Headmaster teehee. *Bottie wiggles* xx Miss Honey xx <<<< is in the cheekiest mood today
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'miss_spelled'Dear Jean Girard,Well, your advice didn't work and my boyfriend dumped me... while I was giving him a blow job during MOTD... I almost choked on my Vicks lozenge!Now I'm interested in this new guy... but something's not working... we've been RHP flirting like crazy... and he even sent the "I'll marry you tomorrow" one... but since then whenever I try to call or text or email or message or skype to set a date (a long engagement would be fine, really, but I need the security of a date) it seems like he's avoiding me.. I've even tried checking his profile at all times of the day and night but he's always updating it... and I can't access it... I don't understand... maybe he can't find the right words to explain he's met the girl of his dreams??? But then why doesn't he answer me??? Why does this keep happening to me?? What am I doing wrong?? I try and I try to make guys love me but it always goes wrong! Why? Why? Are all men just emotionally unavailable or just the ones I love? Why won't they commit to me? They promise me the world with their flirts and then when they've hooked me in and I've picked the flowers and the venue and ordered the dress, they back away. I try not to be needy or clingy... calling 10 times a day isn't a bad thing... I just like to know where he is and what he's thinking about...every hour... but I feel like he doesn't appreciate my efforts... Is it me, Jean Girard? Is it me?Yours,Desperate in Adelaide But your ear doesn't hurt anymore? I'll log you as another satisfied customer. DJG xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Jean... that's a poxy answer for Miss_Spelled. You're supposed to deflect all the female misfits in my direction remember? Jeese.. some kind of wingman you turn out to be! Do that one again.. and this time... dont forget to mention your buddy. :p HUgs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'masters_toys' So Jean.....what colour panties do I have on?? hmmm?? Correct ansa and ya can sneak in between the sheets on Valentines day, and have ya first lesson hehe with me and Headmaster teehee. *Bottie wiggles* xx Miss Honey xx <<<< is in the cheekiest mood today Miss Honey, This is a setup... between the timing of posts thanks to RHP censors, and the presumed regular lack of panties covering that wriggling bottie and a three hour time difference; I am doomed. I am going for white. *fingers crossed*.. despite your cheekiness I am getting a 'lil miss goody goody vibe' in the breeze. Doc JG
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RHP User
16 years ago
Stalky.... This young lady has finally found happiness... Look how many girls are waiting for the "Marry me tomorrow" flirt and are still waiting with an inbox full of "You're top of my to do list" flirts - I think she deserves a shot at happily married and things look to be going well. Besides, my plan was always to get an invite to the wedding with you as my partner. I know how much you like a group of bridesmaids... what do you call them again? *hi 5* Save your thanks for the reception. Doc G PS - Between you and me, she seems a bit clingy too.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Jean... that's a poxy answer for Miss_Spelled. Stalky And thankyou for bringing back the word poxy. Where'd you find that? It's so pox! Man that's poxy.
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RHP User
16 years ago
lmfao... Thanks Jean.. a moment of madness.... you're right. You're always right! Hmmmm.. Hi Five, huh? Yep.. "poxy" is right up there with "engorged" and "milky" as some of my favourite words. HUgs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Can you tell me why I can't get a room full of nubile naked women when on holidays? Heck - tell me why I can't get them at home? Signed... "Wayne aka wishing he was not alone tonight"
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'niceguy0068' Can you tell me why I can't get a room full of nubile naked women when on holidays? Heck - tell me why I can't get them at home? Signed... "Wayne aka wishing he was not alone tonight" I haven't got much too go on here Wayne.... What methods are you currently using? - perhaps we can identify a shortcoming in them. First thought - On holidays, are you ticking the 'room full of nubile women' box on the brekky menu or just the 'continental breakfast' one? Professor Gerard.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Doc Why is it men are such whingers? I've been on holidays for the first time in three years and only once managed to score a FWB or is that a BB....FB..whatever..on two occassions...47 second dude doesnt count... Anna...the slightly rotund avacado
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'niceguy0068' Can you tell me why I can't get a room full of nubile naked women when on holidays? Heck - tell me why I can't get them at home? Signed... "Wayne aka wishing he was not alone tonight" Wayne... 4 beers is all it takes to resolve this issue.... hehe. I mean anyway.... who hasnt woken up the next day and said "What was I thinking"... lmfao. Does my bum look big in this? hehe. Sorry Doc.... errrr.... no I dont have a licence to practice.. well... I'm sorry OK... Yep.. it will never happen again. NO! I am not the 47 second guy.. jeese Jean! :p HUgs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Mynameonurlips' Dear Doc Why is it men are such whingers? Anna...the slightly rotund avacado Hi Anna, Because a sympathy root is still a root. Prof JG. PS - I always recommend everyone 'Add an Avo' to their diet. Rotund or otherwise.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Sorry Doc.... errrr.... no I dont have a licence to practice.. well... I'm sorry OK... Yep.. it will never happen again. NO! I am not the 47 second guy.. jeese Jean! :p HUgs Stalky Oh hey - you make for a handsome intern, so don't apologise... although I'm currently seeking and interviewing for sexy interns. Just putting an ad together. Is it OK to discriminate against men? PPhht - Rules Shmules. Prof. Girard
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Dr/ Prof (did you spend a lot of time in the library to accumulate so many titles) Thank you for your advice. However I disagree with point 3...minx is much better. I hope i am not being too difficult ( often disobedient and naughty but i try not to be difficult) but could i ask another question ? My little courtyard gets quite hot and i like to go naked there. Do you think a wicker outdoor setting or wood will suit best ? Or do I need a site visit from a Feng sui expert ?? Of course now that Mrs P has let me know that my house id littered in disintergrated people I dont feel quite so alone anymore and have taken to wearing clothes indoors even. Also....... Im bored with the flirt reply options. Menues change with the seasons why cant the flirts ?? None of them really suit. I mean if i sent the" You rock my socks off...." will he think i am offering to do his washing for him ? and as for "Im not santa..." very seasonal ! And whats the point of him sitting on my lap ?? Will he expect me to read him a story ? or "If i send you a message..." why not replace with " Heres my addy (insert addy) lets chat" "Loved your profile...." replace with "I just READ your profile and......(insert 15 words to show that you have) I like the "Yes, yes oh god yes" but shouldnt there be please somewhere in that ? very impolite. Pleas J can you make it better ??? Thanks in anticipation Miss b ps why does this text get all bunched up ???? isnt when i write it
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RHP User
16 years ago
Do you regret making this thread yet?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Proj J... hint: Wicker is Sooooo last season. I know I said I wouldn't interfere... yes.. Ok... I'll take my medicine and sit quietly. Yes Doc. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'missbowpeek'Dear Dr/ Prof (did you spend a lot of time in the library to accumulate so many titles) Thank you for your advice. However I disagree with point 3...minx is much better. I hope i am not being too difficult ( often disobedient and naughty but i try not to be difficult) but could i ask another question ? My little courtyard gets quite hot and i like to go naked there. Do you think a wicker outdoor setting or wood will suit best ? Or do I need a site visit from a Feng sui expert ?? Of course now that Mrs P has let me know that my house id littered in disintergrated people I dont feel quite so alone anymore and have taken to wearing clothes indoors even. Also....... Im bored with the flirt reply options. Menues change with the seasons why cant the flirts ?? None of them really suit. I mean if i sent the" You rock my socks off...." will he think i am offering to do his washing for him ? and as for "Im not santa..." very seasonal ! And whats the point of him sitting on my lap ?? Will he expect me to read him a story ? or "If i send you a message..." why not replace with " Heres my addy (insert addy) lets chat" "Loved your profile...." replace with "I just READ your profile and......(insert 15 words to show that you have) I like the "Yes, yes oh god yes" but shouldnt there be please somewhere in that ? very impolite. Pleas J can you make it better ??? Thanks in anticipation Miss b ps why does this text get all bunched up ???? isnt when i write it Miss B - I spent some time in the library during my studies, but it was mainly to try and tune some nerdmeisters - man do they go off. TBH most of the advice I give here is straight out of Dolly, as are my qualifications. - I will compromise on 'Vamp'. I'm pretty sure Minx comes before Cougar chronologically. Is Vamp OK? - Your outdoor setting is a quandry.. And there are many things to consider (including Stalky's post); *Wood is more fashionable at the moment... however is usually slatted. So sitting on it naked in summer can result in parallel welt marks. If you're clever though you can use this method to develop a tan, but it's hard to line the slats up perfectly and there's a good chance you will end up looking like a pink zebra or, if you change positions, a chess board. *Wicker is soooo last season. But far cooler to sit on. They are not without danger - again, if naked and you are not waxed, and/or are blessed with an 'outie' there is a danger of body parts / hair becoming 'interwoven' into the wicker design. This is an uncomfortable situation (and can affect men also!). Personally - I'd go wood with a shade sail. Shade sails are still cool aren't they?. I'm not familiar with Feng Shei, or any Chinese food for that matter. I'd go the sweet and sour pork if push comes to shove though. We agree completely on the flirt situation, but my cynical view of the reasons for their lameness usually results in the censors deleting my post.. so let's just agree to agree. Good to hear back from a satisfied lady. Hope this helps. Jean Girard Dean of Faculties and Facutickles.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'RippedRanga'Do you regret making this thread yet? Nope... I bet my boss would though.
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RHP User
16 years ago
http://www.jean-guichard.com/boutique/index.php?language=en
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Professor Jean, Why do spanked bottoms feel so exquisitely warm...... and what do I have to do to get one? :p Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
A sympathy root is still a root?? WTF has that got to do with anything?....lol I do believe Doc is sufferering from domestic blindness.... I got Stalky's q covered Doc, you rest up... Dear Stalky: c'mere...bend over and I'll demonstrate all the while explaining why spanked botty's feel..so... deliciously..enticingly...mmmm...warm....
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Dear Professor Jean, Why do spanked bottoms feel so exquisitely warm...... and what do I have to do to get one? :p Hugs Stalky Mr Stalky, To get a spanked one, just take a normal one - and spank it. 4 Beers and a Jaeger usually does the trick for me. Then as we say in Francois - Voila you've got yourself a spanked bottom. What you do with it from here on in is entirely up to you (and relevant state and federal legislation). Capt. Girard. xx PS - I find all bottoms feel exquisitely warm.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'missbowpeek' Dear Dr/ Prof (did you spend a lot of time in the library to accumulate so many titles) Thank you for your advice. However I disagree with point 3...minx is much better. I hope i am not being too difficult ( often disobedient and naughty but i try not to be difficult) but could i ask another question ? My little courtyard gets quite hot and i like to go naked there. Do you think a wicker outdoor setting or wood will suit best ? Or do I need a site visit from a Feng sui expert ?? Of course now that Mrs P has let me know that my house id littered in disintergrated people I dont feel quite so alone anymore and have taken to wearing clothes indoors even. Also....... Im bored with the flirt reply options. Menues change with the seasons why cant the flirts ?? None of them really suit. I mean if i sent the" You rock my socks off...." will he think i am offering to do his washing for him ? and as for "Im not santa..." very seasonal ! And whats the point of him sitting on my lap ?? Will he expect me to read him a story ? or "If i send you a message..." why not replace with " Heres my addy (insert addy) lets chat" "Loved your profile...." replace with "I just READ your profile and......(insert 15 words to show that you have) I like the "Yes, yes oh god yes" but shouldnt there be please somewhere in that ? very impolite. Pleas J can you make it better ??? Thanks in anticipation Miss b ps why does this text get all bunched up ???? isnt when i write it Miss B - I spent some time in the library during my studies, but it was mainly to try and tune some nerdmeisters - man do they go off. TBH most of the advice I give here is straight out of Dolly, as are my qualifications. - I will compromise on 'Vamp'. I'm pretty sure Minx comes before Cougar chronologically. Is Vamp OK? - Your outdoor setting is a quandry.. And there are many things to consider (including Stalky's post); *Wood is more fashionable at the moment... however is usually slatted. So sitting on it naked in summer can result in parallel welt marks. If you're clever though you can use this method to develop a tan, but it's hard to line the slats up perfectly and there's a good chance you will end up looking like a pink zebra or, if you change positions, a chess board. *Wicker is soooo last season. But far cooler to sit on. They are also not without danger, if naked and you are not waxed, and/or are blessed with an 'outie' there is a danger of body parts / hair becoming 'interwoven' into the wicker design. This is an uncomfortable situation (and can affect men also!). Personally - I'd go wood with a shade sail. Shade sails are still cool aren't they?. I'm not familiar with Feng Shei, or any Chinese food for that matter. I'd go the sweet and sour pork if push comes to shove though. We agree completely on the flirt situation, but my cynical view of the reasons for their lameness usually results in the censors deleting my post.. so let's just agree to agree. Good to hear back from a satisfied lady. Hope this helps. Jean Girard Dean of Faculties and Facutickles.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'RippedRanga'Do you regret making this thread yet? Nope - but if my boss knew I spent all day on here helping the desparate, I bet he would!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Not keen on Vamp.....makes me sounds like i have big teeth !!! hmmmmm ....alll the better to bite with............. pink zebra......i wonder what sort of men that will attract maybe i could use masking tape..... so much to ponder cheers Miss b
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Professor Jean Girard, Dean of the Fukery of Faculties My darling has a thing against commercialisation... for the last 26 years on Valentine's Day every year I have gifted her something with love and every year she returns the gift to the shop for a refund. I know she would be very dissapointed if I forget... and hey.. one of the bonuses for this system is that I could spend lots of cash safe in teh knowldege that she'll get it back. :p One drawback is that she has never given me a Valentine's Day present. a) Do men get Valentine's Day presents? If so.. should I expect something this year? b) Should I short circuit all the bullshit this year and gift her the saved time by simply handing over some cash?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Prof Jean Girard, OK so I get grass cutting in private.... I'm meant to cut my best mates down and anything goes right? I mean, I can really put the boot in 'cause they're never going to know are they? But when I do it in a public forum do you think I should still pretend to be a nice guy? I've seen some blokes doing that and it seems to work well for them but ut look sreally difficult. So.... errr ... another thing.... should I be choosing besty's that I dont really like that much? You know I think you're pretty cute and so is Ridge... and it just doesn't feel right to..... you know... stick it to you while your back's turned like that... or am I over anal eyes in this? Hugs stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Valentines Day is a very tricky thing to get right. I have friends in the SWAT bomb disposal unit, and quite frankly they would prefer a call out to a box with wires hooked up to an alarm clock to trying to get Valentines Day right. At least with a bomb you know if you fuck things up you'll probably die. Fucking up Valentines Day usually doesn't kill you, and that's why it's so much more scary. You must be doing something right, given you have spent 26 Valentines Days together... have you considered giving her something different this year? Generally speaking, men shouldn't expect anything... in fact it takes away one very scary part of V Day... What I call "The Happy Look". As a father you would be familiar with it from Fathers Day... a grimace on Fathers Day is almost expected of you... the same look on V Day has a whole new world of pain attached. Think 'blind dentist with Parkinsons' type pain. I wouldn't recommend cash as a gift. In my experience, the lady will usually graciously accept the cash AND expect a gift. The method you're using at the moment is working well in my opinion. There's still heaps of time before the big day, enough time to apply for a job with the SWAT team - it is still safer. Doc JG.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Dear Prof Jean Girard, OK so I get grass cutting in private.... I'm meant to cut my best mates down and anything goes right? I mean, I can really put the boot in 'cause they're never going to know are they? But when I do it in a public forum do you think I should still pretend to be a nice guy? I've seen some blokes doing that and it seems to work well for them but ut look sreally difficult. So.... errr ... another thing.... should I be choosing besty's that I dont really like that much? You know I think you're pretty cute and so is Ridge... and it just doesn't feel right to..... you know... stick it to you while your back's turned like that... or am I over anal eyes in this? Hugs stalky Hey again Stalky.. I had to dig deep into my Dolly magazine archives for some research on this one. Personally I would always use the nice-as-pie approach when shafting my mates (or even people I don't knowl). Regradless of whether it is in front of them, or a knife in the back scenario. There are some basics, that will make it easy. Firstly you need to practice over-the-top niceness. Given your patience with Valentines Day gifts, I think you may require little to no practice in this area... The next key to shafting is to always maintain a nice persona, easiest way to do this is to use the passive-aggressive approach. Online it is easier than you think, you just say whatever you like about them and put a smiley face at the end. In the real world, use a similar approach... say whatever you like, nicely, then roll your eyes (even your lazy one). Using my patented over-the-top niceness technique will drive even the nicest guy on Earth (think Vegetarian who donates to Oxfam nice) into a psycho rage directed at you. This has two benefits 1 - You will always look like the good guy, and whatever you said was right... "look at that psycho go off, I'm sorry you had to see that side of him (/her) I'll give you a lift home love." 2 - Nice guys don't hit very hard, and 'bad boys' are usually so psycho they can't make contact. The worst I've ever had is a blood nose, and I can get one of those by sneezing too hard. Hope this helps with your anal eyes. Doc G. PS - You better not be thinking about shafting me and going on this road trip with Ridge and leaving me behind. PPS - Is Ridge OK.... I haven't heard from him. Do you think he's snuck off to Darwin? Sly dog. PPPS - Did you notice the use of the smiley?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' PS - You better not be thinking about shafting me and going on this road trip with Ridge and leaving me behind. PPS - Is Ridge OK.... I haven't heard from him. Do you think he's snuck off to Darwin? Sly dog. PPPS - Did you notice the use of the smiley? I'm fine Jeano. Just been laying low... Emma the trannie kinda knocked the wind outa me the other night we she got mad about my post. I've been in trouble with trannies before - you really gotta watch yourself around them. I was chased by a dozen of them on mopeds on Pattaya Beach a couple of years ago. The trauma of it all came flooding back when Emma razzed me up. (I might need to call on your powers of healing to help me put it behind me... pardon the pun). Turns out she's a good gal though and it's all good now (Notice the use of the smilie) And no need to worry, I haven't loaded up the van and left without you. We're a "triple" remember? I can't take on all those ladies on my own... I need you and the Stalk to tag in and out when I need a breather.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thank Christ... I though Frack Me had got all impatient and dragged you into the wet patch pre-trip. As for Trannies... at least you were being stalked by identified trannies. I was having a search, clicked on a lady "Woman" in the description. Looked at the pics, went "hello" to myself, read the profile (blatant self-plug *hello ladies... over here - guy that reads profiles - hello!!*) and in the profile they revealed they were a trannie. Too late love, I mean dude... I'm already sporting a hard-on. WTF?? Am I gay because she was attractive to me? I mean not she - I guess he.... Aww fuck this - where's my labeler gone?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi Prof Jeano, Thanks for your concern... It’s good to know someone out there is looking out for me ;) Hey... I'm just watching the tennis... I might need to borrow your trannie labeller to label Serina Williams after I inspect what's under her bonnet. I'm still not convinced she is a female. Feck she's ugly. To answer your question... Are you gay because you got wood-duck while browsing the profiles of M2F trannies? The short answer is "yes". However, I believe it largely depends on how quickly you recover from your state of arousal once you realise it is actually a man. Only you can answer that question. My tip... Be honest with yourself and embrace your feelings... which ever way you decide to swing. Love Uncle Ridgie xx (Definitely a man)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Awwwww JG me was being a little trickerer wiv me question hehehehe. Missy does not wear underwear on the weekends unless it is for a special sexy time occassion. Ya can spank me later for being mischievious. Lix on ya bits xxMiss Honeyxx
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amiira
16 years ago
Dear Jean,Do you think BadBadDog is a Rottweiler or a Golden Retriever? (Or maybe a Poodle? Or a Labradoodle?)lv Blinky xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'masters_toys' Awwwww JG me was being a little trickerer wiv me question hehehehe. Missy does not wear underwear on the weekends unless it is for a special sexy time occassion. Ya can spank me later for being mischievious. Lix on ya bits xxMiss Honeyxx That's so embarrasing.... my first instinct was of course to go for 'none'. But I was trying to be clever and now look like a rank amateur. I still stand by the fact that factors such as a time difference and rhp censor delay may have altered the undie vibe I was receiving from over West and would like to state that although I look like a rank amateur at the moment... I am not. Honest Embarrasingly yours Doc Girard.
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