M50
Ask Jean a Question
January 21 2010
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Ridge_Forester' Hi Prof Jeano, Hey... I'm just watching the tennis... I might need to borrow your trannie labeller to label Serina Williams after I inspect what's under her bonnet. I'm still not convinced she is a female. Feck she's ugly. To answer your question... Are you gay because you got wood-duck while browsing the profiles of M2F trannies? The short answer is "yes". However, I believe it largely depends on how quickly you recover from your state of arousal once you realise it is actually a man. Love Uncle Ridgie xx (Definitely a man) I agree with you Serena sentiments, although there's this part of me (probably the gay bit *lol*) that thinks it would be fun to have her club me over the head, drag me back to her hotel room and freakin' punish me like only a BBW (and the middle letter is not 'Beautiful') like her could, and then discard me like a used tissue (that's probably what I'd look like too!). My M2F tranny wood-duck retreated like a frightened rabbit that just spotted a hot chef with a tamborine and hunting knife. So I'm pretty sure I'm straight after all. Lucky - I was almost going to ring mum and tell her the news (she can tell dad. I think he'd be angry)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'blinkyblueyes'Dear Jean,Do you think BadBadDog is a Rottweiler or a Golden Retriever? (Or maybe a Poodle? Or a Labradoodle?)lv Blinky xx Good question Blinkster, I'm a big dog fan, so feel qualified to help. Believe it or not I have gone for Golden Retriever... despite displaying some Rotty physical attributes (probably about 11 inches of them). I checked BBDs profile and have decided: "intelligent, affectionate, both active and powerful, with a kindly expression". is appropriate. This describes the GRetriever. Apparently they always keep bringing stuff back too, BBD can let us know whether this has been bred out of him or not. In my dog profiling I also checked my dog - appropriate I think: Gentle, reliable and friendly. As a breed, they are affectionate to one and all. Inherent in the characteristics of the breed is an alert, outgoing and clownish personality. What is he? And what are you? Doc (Part-time Vet) Girard.
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RHP User
16 years ago
You mean to tell me after all these years a tranny is really a man? to think I've been fantasising about ancient greek goddesses of love all this time! Damn you Ridge! Hugs stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
username search & check out xxmiss_honeyxx single f profile hehe!Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Quoting 'masters_toys' Awwwww JG me was being a little trickerer wiv me question hehehehe. Missy does not wear underwear on the weekends unless it is for a special sexy time occassion. Ya can spank me later for being mischievious. Lix on ya bits xxMiss Honeyxx That's so embarrasing.... my first instinct was of course to go for 'none'. But I was trying to be clever and now look like a rank amateur. I still stand by the fact that factors such as a time difference and rhp censor delay may have altered the undie vibe I was receiving from over West and would like to state that although I look like a rank amateur at the moment... I am not. Honest Embarrasingly yours Doc Girard.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' You mean to tell me after all these years a tranny is really a man? to think I've been fantasising about ancient greek goddesses of love all this time! Damn you Ridge! Hugs stalky I'm sorry Stalky... lol. But hey, read the below text I got off Wiki. Aphro may in fact be female afterall. Still hard to tell though. I'm not really into Greek mythology, but this story sounds like some sort of twisted porno. That Adonis bloke sounds like a sick fcuker... If you can work out Aphro's true sex from reading this, get that label maker off Jean, and stick a label on it. Aphrodite (pronounced /ˌæfrɵˈdaɪtiː/; Greek: Ἀφροδίτη; Latin: Venus; Ancient Greek pronunciation: /apʰrodíːtɛː/) is the Greek goddess of love, beauty and raw sexuality.[2][3] According to Greek poet Hesiod, she was born when Cronus cut off Ouranos' genitals and threw them into the sea, and from the aphros (sea foam) arose Aphrodite.[4] Because of her beauty other gods feared that jealousy would interrupt the peace among them and lead to war, and so Zeus married her to Hephaestus, who was not viewed as a threat. However, Aphrodite became instrumental in the Eros and Psyche legend, and later was both Adonis' lover and his surrogate mother.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Ridge_Forester' Quoting 'stalky'If you can work out Aphro's true sex from reading this, get that label maker off Jean, and stick a label on it. Aphrodite (pronounced /ˌæfrɵˈdaɪtiː/; Greek: Ἀφροδίτη; Latin: Venus; Ancient Greek pronunciation: /apʰrodíːtɛː/) is the Greek goddess of love, beauty and raw sexuality.[2][3] According to Greek poet Hesiod, she was born when Cronus cut off Ouranos' genitals and threw them into the sea, and from the aphros (sea foam) arose Aphrodite.[4] Because of her beauty other gods feared that jealousy would interrupt the peace among them and lead to war, and so Zeus married her to Hephaestus, who was not viewed as a threat. However, Aphrodite became instrumental in the Eros and Psyche legend, and later was both Adonis' lover and his surrogate mother.Drop all the funny names, and you've got my family tree.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ya is not an amatuer me just being tricky teehee. Now let me finks of another question ummmm...oooo here we go.Dear JGHow long is a piece of string? Fanks btw Peachy, me profile has been very popular today hehe. Hmmm but they should be messaging Masters_toys not me..rolls eyes...but then some don't read.xx Miss Honey xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'xxmiss_honeyxx' Ya is not an amatuer me just being tricky teehee. Now let me finks of another question ummmm...oooo here we go.Dear JGHow long is a piece of string? Fanks btw Peachy, me profile has been very popular today hehe. Hmmm but they should be messaging Masters_toys not me..rolls eyes...but then some don't read.xx Miss Honey xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Originally one had to type commands into a keyboard to get a computer to respond... Then a friendly little rodent appeared on the scene and made pointing and clicking so much easier than words... Now its all feely touchy using finger guestures... So dear Missy if they no longer type real words it wont be long before they can't read them either.... But the touchy feeliness of Miss Honey's boobie photo will surely fog their brains and proposition you regardless of requests to the contrary. Maybe the oracle Dr Jean can please cast some enlightenment on this interesting predicament?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Prof Jean, It's Friday. Traditionally Friday is a day that brings great joy to me because it marks the fact that I made it through another week... lolz. So should I go out tonight on my Triumph until late and tear the town up with wild sex, booze and mind altering substances..... or should I stay at home, watch a video, play the model husband and do the ironing? Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
The title of the DVD: "The notebook" .... spankkrock raved about it. Hugs stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Dear Prof Jean, It's Friday. Traditionally Friday is a day that brings great joy to me because it marks the fact that I made it through another week... lolz. So should I go out tonight on my Triumph until late and tear the town up with wild sex, booze and mind altering substances..... or should I stay at home, watch a video, play the model husband and do the ironing? Hugs Stalky For one, you should explain to all the young kiddies on here what a video is (though your second post gives a big hint). Secondly... men shouldn't do any ironing, some do - and they're the ones that have been sucked in by the name of it 'ironing'.. it sounds mucho. Much like "Blacksmith". Stalky, unless the ironing involves an anvil, a freaking hot fire and a leather apron (sounds kinky - man those blacksmiths knew how to have a good time, didn't they?) you should be out on the Trumpy. This brief period leading up to Valentines Day is really a bit of a free for all to have some man-fun for everyone. All is forgiven and forgotten on the 14th when you rock up to your beloved with cordless drill in hand (put a ribbon on it for extra showiness) and utter those three magic words. "Happy Valentines Day." Jean International Relationship Fixer-uperrer. I prefer to watch my videos with a hangover anyway (they help me sleep)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Professor Jean Girard, What's the best way to hide bight marks, bruises, scratches and a scruffed up dick? Hugs Stalky<<<< Jut making sure I've packed everything I need for the Road Trip.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Finkies me has stumped dear JG teehee. xxMiss Honeyxx
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amiira
16 years ago
Dear Jean,Thank you for clarifying the non-Rottweilerness (as well as the non-Labradoodleness) of BadBadDog. I have patted him and still have all 10 fingers, so all seems to be well.In answer to your question, I would say that I am either (depending on mood, time of day and lighting) a Husky, a Weimaraner or a Dalmation. Hm, it seems that I have a split personality.Yours manifoldly,blinky xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'masters_toys' Finkies me has stumped dear JG teehee. xxMiss Honeyxx I've been measuring strings to answer your question, but so many of them were attached and the ones that weren't were trouble waiting to happen... hence my brief hiatus. Then I found that the strings were all different lengths. So I think the answer is 'It depends'. Sorry to be so vague, the last time I had to give that as an answer was when someone asked me how many fish in a school. Took me ages before I worked out he didn't mean high school. Very tricky MissH - Intriguingly so. xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Dear Professor Jean Girard, What's the best way to hide bight marks, bruises, scratches and a scruffed up dick? Hugs Stalky<<<< Jut making sure I've packed everything I need for the Road Trip. lol - scruffed up dick. With bite marks, bruises and scratches, I've always just covered them with more bite marks, bruises and scratches. I'm hoping the ladies have something to put on any scruffed up dicks. Our chances of actually making it home are remote at best... remember poor old Burke and Wills? So maybe it's something we needn't worry about.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Blinkster, You're a pretty decent mongrel! The weimaraner - responsive to, and demanding of, attention and seeks regular body contact. Hmmm The husky - the exact opposite, or at least the one sleeping on the rug here is. If he could talk, all he'd say all day is "Don't touch me! Where;s my treat?" Cute though. From the kennelDoc G PS - I can't believe I've been stumped by two Perthites, first Miss Honey and her strings, and then I had to google Manifoldly because the only manifold I was familiar with before today was one with two carburettors.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear JG Why is it that when ya have an annoying kamikazi fly or mozzie lurking, swooping, generally &^%*# ya off, that when ya pick up a can of spray, the lil buggers disappear, only to reappear when ya put the can away? Is this a mystery of the insect world? Have the flying nuisances learnt to read perhaps? Over to you. xxMiss Honeyxx <
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Dr Jeano, Lmfao!! my stalker appears to have forgotten to take her medication and is lying in a foamy lather of spit and vinegar throughout the forum. What should I do? Poke her with a pointy stick or leave her to wallow in her own self pity? Something else? Hugs Stalkyboy
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky'Dear Dr Jeano, Lmfao!! my stalker appears to have forgotten to take her medication and is lying in a foamy lather of spit and vinegar throughout the forum. What should I do? Poke her with a pointy stick or leave her to wallow in her own self pity? Something else? Hugs Stalkyboy Probably the first question I'm struggling to answer. I'm usually the stalker in a stalker/stalkee relationship, and the last thing I'm going to do is give a blow by blow description on how the lovely ladies on here can shake me loose. It's hard enough without giving them that sort of a headstart!! Personally, I'd say it's just a crush, compared to my stalking it is amateurish namecalling. I don't think she's got the staying power, unless you poke her occassionally. But to be on the safe side - it's probably best not to head around there for a bbq.
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RHP User
16 years ago
hoping you can shed some light on the pressing issues Dr Jean Girard-jung. 1. why don't real men eat quiche. it tastes great. 2. why do some guys sit down to piss. even though they have a dick. 3. what does it sound like when doves cry and last but not least 4.why did i have a wet dream about bronwyn bishop two nights ago
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'masters_toys' Dear JG Why is it that when ya have an annoying kamikazi fly or mozzie lurking, swooping, generally &^%*# ya off, that when ya pick up a can of spray, the lil buggers disappear, only to reappear when ya put the can away? Is this a mystery of the insect world? Have the flying nuisances learnt to read perhaps? Over to you. xxMiss Honeyxx < Excellent question as always Miss Honey. I am pretty confident that insects can read. I've seen all sorts of them at the library, and the ones they use in the Mortein ads speak well. Of course, like the rhp kingdom, not all insects are smart... for every fly I see at the library I see a dozen attached to a steaming dog turd (or are they orgasm nuggets? - and why is my dog having so many orgasms in the backyard... hmm off topic). Clearly, if you are having trouble killing the little blighters, I'd say you are attracting the intelligent ones. I would suggest re-labelling the fly spray... make them think it's deodorant (flies have 6 armpits, so they would definitely need it). If this doesn't work, put some books and magazines outside for them to read, then they don't need to come in. Doc JG. xx
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Professor Jeano, My wife (we're going through a trial separation ~ not the real one.. the other one.. hehe.. no not my boyfriend.. jeese Jeano try to keep up) is seriously flirting with another dude. But I've got the hots for him too. Should I: a) try to compete for his affections and grass cut her out of the picture; or b) leave 4 beers in her fridge then dress up in my spiderman outfit and leap out of the wardrobe at the opportune moment .... taking him by surprise from behind? I know it's not much of a plan... more of a random thought (give me a break I haven't had my coffee yet) .... hehe.. if a) how should I go about this....; Or, if b) Can you recommend a better plan that I could use?... c) Where's Ridge gone? Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Fankies JG. I have placed a copy of compost monthly, Kenny's dunnies of the world, and a few woman's and entertainment mags out on the back table. With that much crapola for them to read, I have not had a reocurrence. Which leads me to another question: Am I being charged for this advice? I have searched for your terms and conditions but could not find any. Me was just curious if I am gonna be shocked at the end of the month with a huge monthly usuage invoice in me letterbox. If payment if required, do I leave the money on the fridge? Do you accept credit card? Is it a gold coin donation or can I show my gratitude with an interpretative dance video of my successful pest control, valentines day rumpy pumpy and string measuring? Please let me know, as I may have to restrict my questions due to the increase in subscriptions costs to Compost Monthly that I have now incurred. Fankies in advance. xx Miss Honey xx <<
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RHP User
16 years ago
but nice buns stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thankyou very much Christopher. I've been admiring yours for ages but you know how men are... it's for some reason seen as unacceptable behaviour to compliment another guy on his body without your sexuality coming into question. Well to hell with that... let's throw away our inhibitions and rub butt cheeks together. I think you have a wonderfully spankable bottom Chris and it looks so kissable, I'd just like to lick it. hehe. Dear Jeano, Why do I feel so dirty? Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
thanks stalky, haha. i think its only people who are insecure in their sexuality, that can't comment on the physically attractive qualities of people that are the same sex.
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RHP User
16 years ago
AhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaEarl,Ps, love ya work Dr G
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' I think Jeano is still calculating his invoice Missy :p Dear Jeano, Why do I feel so dirty? Hugs StalkyCalculating an invoice my arse.... I've been cooped up inside for the last 2 days... I'm too scared to go to the wardrobe to get dressed in case something's lying in wait and the 15 minutes sleep I've been getting every night have been filled with nightmares about spider-man. Buggered if I know why.!?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'xxmiss_honeyxx' Fankies JG. I have placed a copy of compost monthly, Kenny's dunnies of the world, and a few woman's and entertainment mags out on the back table. With that much crapola for them to read, I have not had a reocurrence. Which leads me to another question: Am I being charged for this advice? I have searched for your terms and conditions but could not find any. Me was just curious if I am gonna be shocked at the end of the month with a huge monthly usuage invoice in me letterbox. If payment if required, do I leave the money on the fridge? Do you accept credit card? Is it a gold coin donation or can I show my gratitude with an interpretative dance video of my successful pest control, valentines day rumpy pumpy and string measuring? Please let me know, as I may have to restrict my questions due to the increase in subscriptions costs to Compost Monthly that I have now incurred. Fankies in advance. xx Miss Honey xx << I am so glad I've helped someone... it's only taken three pages!! I'm pretty sure Miss_Spelled still has a sore ear and Ms Saturn a sore back from cowboying around. I'm feeling like a bit of a failure... but then again, I'm not qualified, so peoples expectations should be relative! Your gratitude is payment in itself. But a good doc never says no to interpretative dance videos, or any videos for that matter. PS - Earl... NEvER!! I had some engineer here from Holden wanting to copy the suspension and engine desgin for the next Crappadore.. I reckon this Japs might have been ahead of their time :-)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Lmfao Jeano! I was just trying to ask a question even you wouldn't answer! Lol. You're too cute by far! Hehe. I promise to behave. Oryht? Come play wf stalky- I'll be a good boy I promise! You can tape my mouth shut if you like :p Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'christopher79' hoping you can shed some light on the pressing issues Dr Jean Girard-jung. 1. why don't real men eat quiche. it tastes great. 2. why do some guys sit down to piss. even though they have a dick. 3. what does it sound like when doves cry and last but not least 4.why did i have a wet dream about bronwyn bishop two nights ago 1 - You'll find it doesn't taste great to real men. 2 - I'm a squatter, it's usually because I'm too drunk or tired to stand (have you tried pleasing three voracious women? Me neither - but if I did... I'd be tired - so I consider it practice for if I ever do) 3 - I have no idea. I went to the park to try and get some doves to cry. I called them all sorts of nasty names.. not a tear to be seen. Either you can't hurt a dove's feelings, or they were pigeons. 4 - You're a man, she's a hot woman... that's how wet dreams generally pan out.
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RHP User
16 years ago
touche times 4 dr jean. i will get a good nights sleep now.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'christopher79' touche times 4 dr jean. i will get a good nights sleep now. I'd suggest possibly putting pictures of Julia and Pauline up - imagine the wet dreams that'll give. You know - if you're politically inclined...
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear JG Headmaster and I have a top 10 wish list each that we swap with each other and we try to make each others wishes come true (awwww), when opportunities arise. Some are achievable eg mfm some take some planning eg mile high club. Well we have been busy fulfilling some wishes teehee , and so have a couple of spaces to fill. Since ya have been so helpful JG, me fort you may like to add two to the list for us to do (within reason that is lol). xxMiss Honeyxx <<
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Jean,I have heard you keep being distracted fromwork by te thought of food fights in your office. Any plans of this coming to fruition?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'WAMvictim'Dear Jean,I have heard you keep being distracted fromwork by te thought of food fights in your office. Any plans of this coming to fruition? That's freaky - have you been stalking me and checking the fridge at work? Normally I tell my stalkers to back off - but you're very cute, so just knock on the window next time - I'm struggling to find anyone in the office to play with. We have cleaners come in, so we don't need to worry about leaving a mess (I think we do - all the shit on my desk is rearranged every night, so we either have cleaners or you're getting in there!) Every day I sneak in a new food prep item or condiment with my grand food fighting scheme... and everywhere I look I see food-fight reminders.. IE - Yesterday on tv, there's an ad for the new (old?) 'V' tv series... it's a big red 'V'. Which looks innocent enough, but all I can picture when I see it is me holding someone down, tearing off their clothes and painting a big red V in tomato sauce on their chest, nipple to belly button and back up. If that's not weird enough, I then try to enhance it with a bit of BBQ sauce and mustard. The latest thing I snuck into work was a blender.... that was after I made a thickshake at home... milk, heaps of ice cream and some chocolate to make it chunky. It looked like something out of Double Dare but drinkable... It was wasted at home (I just drank it, instead of pouring it over someone's back and topping it with whipped cream.) All I could picture while I was drinking it was all that slush running down someones sides, and front, and behind. So yeah - I guess you heard right - I have been distracted by food fights at work :-) But I don't know if I'm any closer to these plans coming to fruition... PS - Oh great - when I look at fruition - I see Fruit Lotion... and next thing I'm picturing some slightly over-ripe peaches... am I beyond help.... do I even want help!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Jean, Speaking of food fights... I like how carnation milk runs down my bum crack and I keep thinking of friends trying to clean it off .. I imagine some of them... well... felching me. Is this a passing fantasy or am I just a little bit gay now after all that talk about metro sexuals? Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Stalky... Carnation Milk is probably good for your skin - so be it fantasy or gayness, it's probably irrelevant... think how smooth that buttcrack skin is going to be!! My only suggestion would be to use my "Old Spice" trick on the milk, so it makes your skin silky smooth AND manly at the same time.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Deary Aunty Jean,Today more so than usual I'm struggling to get the lingering smell of dairy double cream off my skin - I have had 3 hot showers with lots of soap and scrubbing but it's not as effective as I'd hope. Any suggestions of a skin safe chemical that will degrade the odour causing milk proteins?Thankscreamyscented
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RHP User
16 years ago
Creamyscented, Between you and Stalky, it's looks like the dairy industry is going to thrive. I've bought some shares in milk companies, in anticipation. These recommendations are of course difficult to make without photos of how on earth you got dairy double cream all over you in the first place.. Was it a shopping accident? Did a milk-tanker overturn? Anyway I'll try without photos! I will admit that I cheated and googled for an answer to this - ironically most websites tell you to use milk to wash away smells such as garlic. To me that's just lazy - because you'd end up smelling like milk!! By their reckoning, if you washed yourself in garlic or onions, the dairy double cream smell should go. I'm not a lazy doc... so put those onions away! 1 - I don't think you should use hot water.. your pores will open up and possibly suck in that milky smell, then slowly release it. Your first shower should be cold. Hehe - very cold, you know - nipple spraining cold. 2 - If you were carpet, the recommendation is vinegar or baking soda. Whilst you are not carpet, I'm a fan of balsamic vinegar, so I guess you could have someone liberally splash you with that (and take pictures!). I'm not sure how safe it is to bathe in a baking soda bath... and I'm pretty sure if you mix baking soda and vinegar you have a primitive explosive device.. so I would suggest baking soda and vinegar to be an either/or type of deal. 3 - You can't beat a saltwater rinse. Find a beach with a reasonable 2 - 3ft swell and think of it as a big washing machine for final rinse.. Remember your floaties if you're not a good swimmer. If that doesn't fix things, I'd suggest going for a smell-cover-upper type solution. If there are any peaches left in Gosford, you could try them again... but I'm in a plum type of mood atm. Source 4 -5kg of over-ripe plums, remove the stones (I knooooww - sounds like a pain... get someone else to do that!) then mash up the plums in a big bucket. Have someone splat and splosh the plum juice / jam all over you. Start from the shoulders down. Then squish any leftovers in your hair. You should now smell like plums. Much better? Glad I could Help Doc Jean
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OzRednecks
16 years ago
G'day Jean "the sex advise machine" Just a quick one for you. Is there an easy way to determine the sex of a Komodo dragon ??? Just need to know what I would be gettin myself in for. I hear the KD produces a flesh eating bacteria from its saliva. I really think you need to provide us with all safety information. The female of the species is a tad aggressive in breeding season (not unusual in most species). The male lacks the basic fundamentals to form a lasting relationship. (again no surprises ). I will need clarification before I send money. Cheers HesheWA
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'hesheWA'G'day Jean "the sex advise machine" Just a quick one for you. Is there an easy way to determine the sex of a Komodo dragon ??? Just need to know what I would be gettin myself in for. I hear the KD produces a flesh eating bacteria from its saliva. I really think you need to provide us with all safety information. The female of the species is a tad aggressive in breeding season (not unusual in most species). The male lacks the basic fundamentals to form a lasting relationship. (again no surprises ). I will need clarification before I send money. Cheers HesheWA Hi HeShe The sex is usually easy to tell - the female ones are dressed in skirts or tutu's. The male usually goes commando and has a hairy back. Both are aggressive during breeding, so I just make sure I buy the ladies a drink first, and politely decline drink offers from the male. I wouldn't be too worried about the saliva thing... we're just going to teach them a bit of Shakespeare - sure it's customary to kiss them on each cheek francois style, but if you have reasonable cheek-kissing aim and keep your tongue to yourself, you should be fine. Hope this puts your mind at ease... Pack your bags -- let's rock and roll - those dragons aren't going to teach themselves!! Jean G
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RHP User
16 years ago
xxMiss Honeyxx <<impatiently Stop flirting wiv stalky and ansa...geez just as well we are not sitting here nakey waiting for instructions *rolls eyes* Wiggles bottie and wanders off dat away ---------------------->
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Doctor JGI have a problem relating to my sex life and work.When i get tied up to the bed for being a naughty little tool, my wrists tend to bruise!I turn up to work with huge watches and braceletes, but how much longer can i keep this charade up before i am found out!Please help this easliy bruised-sub-hornbag!
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RHP User
16 years ago
JG ... too aw3som3. Earl... too funny. you have brightened my evening considerably :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'masters_toys' xxMiss Honeyxx << Stop flirting wiv stalky and ansa...geez just as well we are not sitting here nakey waiting for instructions *rolls eyes* Wiggles bottie and wanders off dat away ----------------------> Oh I'm sorry Miss Honey... You know you always stump me! To be honest - I was just stalling to see you wiggle that bottie. MMmmm two for your list... Look I know it's being a copy cat copy cat sitting on a door mat... but Miss Saturn posted a brilliant one where she was pulled over in her car and aggressively and inappropriately frisked by her partner pretending to be a cop in public. I quite like that idea! Has the great element of surprise to it, you never know just when you're going to get frisky... I mean frisked. The second, but far more important one, is to continue the WAM trend which is going to take over Australia any minute now... Step 1 would be to check out the profile of Doctor Wam (or WAMVictim if you want to be technically correct). That should give you a pretty good idea of what's needed. With the warmer Perth weather, dairy products should be avoided... I always come back to stone fruit... I don't know why, I think it's the slushy over-ripe goodness of it. So my suggestion is a good old fashioned WAM fight, with plenty of photos to colour up that Private Gallery. Maybe a peaches or strawberrys and cream theme. It's OK to start it off as all tasteful and arty - but by the end of the shoot you should look like you've had a nasty blender accident. (The splashing kind... not the 'lost my fingers and now they're all mashed up' kind! - just thought I'd clarify). What? Are you still reading this? Put a shopping list together and get that bottie down to the shops!! Keep an eye in your rear view mirror though!! You never know where those coppers are hiding. Slimy Love and Kisses Doc Girard. xxoo
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Tool88'Dear Doctor JGI have a problem relating to my sex life and work.When i get tied up to the bed for being a naughty little tool, my wrists tend to bruise!I turn up to work with huge watches and braceletes, but how much longer can i keep this charade up before i am found out!Please help this easliy bruised-sub-hornbag! Dearest Bruisy! I've done a bit of profile research, and you are right... the huge watch and bracelet strategy you're using cannot continue. You are already deliciously top heavy... and the watches and bracelets aren't going to do your back any good. It's probably already in need of a firm massage. Now a naughty lil tool is still going to need to be tied to the bed - I'd be nuts to advocate the end of that!... but there's no need to tie knots like Mick from Wolf Creek or some sort of frustrated wannabe Jesse Martin and leave nasty bruises on young delicate skin. Tsk Tsk I say! I've been spending most of the night and this morning, practicing knot tieing using nice wide silk ribbon... you know, just in case - you never know when it'll come in handy. Anyway - I've come up with a few kind on the skin knots. Although quite frankly, you can't beat a nice set of studded leather wrist and ankle restraints... sure they're not the easiest thing to keep in your handbag, but they sure are great at limiting bruising while playing Doc Girard and Nurse Tool. Happy to help... Let me know if you need a hand with anything else.. Anytime Doc G xxoo
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dr Jean,I appreciate a colleagues referrals but I'm finding some or many of those seeing your referrals are in fact illiterate. How ca I better help people understand I have little interest in bumping uglies but want to keep the fetish pure? People contacting and chatting to me often ask what eactly am i after and seem so shocked when I reiterate my profile and say it isn't plain vanilla sex.yours sincerely,scentcorrected.
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RHP User
16 years ago
i have a question, im pretty sure i might be the ony one with this problem. i have a low to non existent sex drive, dont get me wrong i do climax if i do have sex and for the record no im not a virgin. however it does take me awhile to get worked up/wet and it doesnt bother me if i dont have sex r if i do. ive told a few people this problem and they all say the same that my previous partners have been shit in bed ( ive had 4 partners) but i dont think that more sex is the answer. i have tried different things like bondage, role playing etc. any ideas?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dr Scentcorrected, Welcome to my world.. I've been here almost one dog-year and yesterday was the first time someone actually bothered to enquire about my Komodo Dragon plans. Every day I've got young barbie types and buffed Ken dolls wanting to bump uglies - but you mention shakespeare and they give you this confused come hither look and pout. OK sure - I'll bump uglies... just hoping that it'll lead to something komodo - but not once, not yet!! I'll keep trying though - noones gonna call me a quitter!!! Hmmm - am I guilty of not keeping my Komodo Dragon Dance School dreams pure I wonder. Not much help I know - you could try to use mono-syllabatic words in your profile... but I doubt that will help.. they'd still have to read. Yours in slushiness, Doc JG xx
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Ringleader
16 years ago
I normally don't use pick up lines. But I've run out of chloroform and white rags. Would you be able to suggest an alternative?
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RHP User
16 years ago
JG ya got me in me gooey spot mmmmmmmmmmmm. Both are on the list. The first one well me likies lots, and HM wears a uniform which gets me hot when me see's him leave for work. No idea how he makes it out the door actually.. HM is damn sexy!! Very very doable JG .. um finking tactical response uni, with helmet.....and the helmet doesnt come off....ok me needs a cold shower. I just love the stranger danger stuff. Kicking the door and yelling for me to get on me knees..phew its hot in ere. Now funny ya mention the second one, coz HM is preparing dinner over the weekend for Missy. I did request that dessert be smearable. Hmmm feels some piccies of our fun may be coming ur way JG. Ooooo kisses on ya yummy bits JG...me loves it!!!!! xx Miss really bloody Horny xx << wonders if HM has finished modifying that fall arrester...HURRY UP WEEKEND teehee Psst HM if ya reading this..Missy wants hammock sex this weekend too.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Ummm usually I don't pat myself on the back. But in this case I think it's safe to say YOU'RE WELCOME HEADMASTER - LOOKS LIKE AN OK WEEKEND COMING UP YOU LUCKY PRICK! -
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'littlered'i have a question, im pretty sure i might be the ony one with this problem. i have a low to non existent sex drive, dont get me wrong i do climax if i do have sex and for the record no im not a virgin. however it does take me awhile to get worked up/wet and it doesnt bother me if i dont have sex r if i do. ive told a few people this problem and they all say the same that my previous partners have been shit in bed ( ive had 4 partners) but i dont think that more sex is the answer. i have tried different things like bondage, role playing etc. any ideas? Hey there Little Red - you make me nervous, because this sounds like a serious question.... I'm struggling to find the funny. Normally my advice would be joining me in a mean game of doctors and nurses, but you've already tried role play... so we should rule that out. Plus there are suggestions that I may be corrupted as a doctor, and I don't want to feed that rumour :-) Look my advice here is to do whatever makes you happy... I mean it's not mandatory to have a high sex drive. I'd say your previous partners weren't shit in bed (after all, you say you did climax) - I'd say the problem was out of bed... the pre-foreplay foreplay. If it takes you a while to get worked up, make sure your partner actually bothers to take a while to warm you up... in an intimate non-sexual way if that's what it takes. . I don't have a high sex drive... I don't walk around all day poking into things with a boner... but when someone or something turns me on, my sex drive kicks in. You just need to search for that thing that turns you on - the spark... it could be hugging, kissing, gentle bites and kisses on the back of your neck, masturbating, toys, a massage, a food-fight or in fact another girl - the sex drive will follow. And if it doesn't... big deal - so you're not into sex. I doubt you're the only one on Earth (there's probably two or three of you You are who you are so enjoy you. Good luck :-) Doc G - The serious one.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Psssstt! Armpits Doc. You forgot to mention armpits as one of the things that might get her .. you know... in the mood for getting jiggy.... I bet she didn't try that yet. What? err.. no, it was just .. just a suggestion.... Well No. I don't have a practice certificate... But I like licking armpits and I can't eb the only one. I just thought that maybe Little Red might find her mojo sweltering underneath a decent set of sweaty pits... Hold on... well, no.. you don't root them, just lick them... but I always got a lookout for a decent set of flarmies or tuckshoppers to givve it a go. :p. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
no i havnt tried armpits ill have to keep that in mind for next time
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RHP User
16 years ago
There I was racking my brain, when the answer was literally staring me right in the face. Stalky's armpits - of course
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RHP User
16 years ago
DEAREST DR J IM BORED............SEXUALLY SATISFIED.....JUST BORED so ive taken to staring at your new pic and trying to work out what the f**** you are doing......it reveals a number of things about you that you may not wish it to but ...too late now for those with trained eyes. so I thought.......a) you have just been tassared (you know zap zap police gun thingy) its a new word to the english language not sure on the spelling ..maybe z ? .......................b) you are doing the local koori welcome dance but forgot your eucalyptus branch? ........................c) this is your NO MEANS NO stance and your at a house party ? ........................d) you have taken up sumo wrestling and despite the absence of 200 kilos and a loin cloth you are about to do combat ? ........................e) this is a shakspearian support group to allow you to express your grief at the loss of poor Yorik ? ........................f) you have in fact just smelt that which is rotten in the state of Denmark ? ........................g) this is the first exercise in the limbering up classes for your beloved dragons in their quest to become actors ? ........................h) you have just made a very bad smell at a gathering and you are trying to sneak out without being noticed ? ........................i) your inciting Stalky to lustful passions by displaying your arm pits to him......you tease !! ........................j) your practising for living in the caravan for the road trip ?? If its a pop top you know you have to put the top up dont you ???? ........................k) this is how you are going to sneak up on Ridge in the bottum bunk......hehehehe and why would he have chosen the bottum bunk if he wasnt trying to make his desires known to you hey ?? Hmmmmmmm so please tell me......what are you doing...no dont ill have nothing to do when im bored Twiddling her thumbs miss b
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'missbowpeek'DEAREST DR J IM BORED............SEXUALLY SATISFIED.....JUST BORED so ive taken to staring at your new pic and trying to work out what the f**** you are doing......it reveals a number of things about you that you may not wish it to but ... Hmmmmmmm so please tell me......what are you doing...no dont ill have nothing to do when im bored Twiddling her thumbs miss b So if I read this correctly (and I have) you've been staring at my new pic and as a result are now sexually satisfied. Firstly - You're welcome secondly - thank you... so many people assumed I was just doing the Elaine dance, when, as you've correctly identified, there are several hidden messages I am sending to those with perceptive eyes. PS - Did you miss a couple... ?
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RHP User
16 years ago
I had another look at your latest pic... you appear to have a pen case in your top pocket. A pen case. *raises eyebrows*... and are you or are you not inspecting another man's crutch with a very large grin on your face? What did you see? Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' I had another look at your latest pic... you appear to have a pen case in your top pocket. A pen case. *raises eyebrows*... and are you or are you not inspecting another man's crutch with a very large grin on your face? What did you see? Hugs Stalky *whistling innocently* - Dunno what you're talkin about!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Well spotted. I wonder who the lucky man is getting his crutch inspected by the Doc? Judging by the blue jeans and sneakers, my guess is George Costanza.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Now im the kinda girl that loves anticipation and suspense..............even a bit of denial............. BUT WERE ANY OF MY GUESSES CORRECT ??????lololololol Miss b ps ill send a message to tell you what you reveal...or maybe via stalky so as not to leave a direct trail....all secret squirrell like.....have a trench coat too...
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi Doctor Jean While re-watching the movie American Pie, it recently came to my attention that there is a large variety of desserts for men to 'pleasure themselves' with- apple pie of course, all sorts of puddings (self saucing and plain), deep based tarts (the food-kind, not the woman-kind!), chocolate mousse... I ask what you would add to the dessert menu to help satisfy a woman? Ready with a shopping list, Belle ;)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'tinquabell' Hi Doctor Jean While re-watching the movie American Pie, it recently came to my attention that there is a large variety of desserts for men to 'pleasure themselves' with- apple pie of course, all sorts of puddings (self saucing and plain), deep based tarts (the food-kind, not the woman-kind!), chocolate mousse... I ask what you would add to the dessert menu to help satisfy a woman? Ready with a shopping list, Belle ;)An excellent question Belle - and a surprise that it hasn't sprung up sooner.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'tinquabell' Hi Doctor Jean While re-watching the movie American Pie, it recently came to my attention that there is a large variety of desserts for men to 'pleasure themselves' with- apple pie of course, all sorts of puddings (self saucing and plain), deep based tarts (the food-kind, not the woman-kind!), chocolate mousse... I ask what you would add to the dessert menu to help satisfy a woman? Ready with a shopping list, Belle ;) An excellent question Belle - at first it would seem you are quite right, due to the obvious anatomical differences, men can pleasure themselves with just about anything found in the freezer aisle, with the exception of crumbed fish, yet the lady of the species is left scratching her head. Sure - the fruit and veg aisle is a hoot - but you won't find anything there that can truly be a dessert by itself. Well except rhubarb - but that really deserves it's own thread! To truly enjoy a dessert based orgasm, you need to throw any OCD cleanliness dysfunctions out the window. Things are going to get messy. You need to find textures - desserts that have differing temperatures and unusual textures. My recommended shopping list would look something like - Le Rice - Vanilla Slice - Chocolate topping - Nepolitan Ice Cream (but just the Chocolate strip - throw the rest away) - Cheesecake - Apple Pie - because what is life without a challenge. - Aunt Betty's Choc/Hazelnut puddings - these usually make me orgasm just eating them - so these are a backup if you truly find that there is no joy in pie. Towels can save in the cleanup, but sorround yourself with all the goodies and go to town - keep an eye out for Jim's dad though, and may I suggest this should be done with umm -- medical supervision.. perhaps a Doc... close at hand. Hoping this helps - I'm on call if you need... I mean dessert-based accidents are on the rise. Doc JG *stethescope at the ready*
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'mynameisearl2'why is it that if i delete my profileit will pop back up and bite me in the arse?just wondering likeEarl Did you not read my reply about the dessert? It's for the same reason. hehe
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RHP User
16 years ago
What's ur favourite Radiohead album? Oh and btw...props on a good thread. This has already won "best self-promotion of 2010" award. Respect.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Love the grass cutter avatar Doc. Perfect... maybe better than Bob's! hehe..... How can I resolve my situation? I mean, I've been lazing about at the Opera House for 4 hours with 5286 nudists.... and I think I might be overstimulated... The slightest vibration causes ... well.. you know... and I've put some tracky daks on.... but they're fleecy... so fleecy.... Doc, I could row a boat with it.... what should I do? Manly hugs Stalk
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey JGMD, I cammed with a girl the other night and now I have a rash on my belly button. What do you think it is she gave me? Fucken itchy too Random
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'SpankkRock' What's ur favourite Radiohead album? Oh and btw...props on a good thread. This has already won "best self-promotion of 2010" award. Respect. Thanks Spanky (hope that's not too informal.) I was never a big radiohead fan - but I do like that Disco Stick song she does. And I would like to clarify that there is no self-promotion here... all posts are carefully screened and approved by my very own Ethics Committee (but I accept the award nevertheless - I love crap for my mantlepiece - thanks!) This is solely a community service to rhpland. I like to think I have helped so many - from Miss Sophie's sore ear through to Tools sore wrists. Australia is better off sexually.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' Love the grass cutter avatar Doc. Perfect... maybe better than Bob's! hehe..... How can I resolve my situation? I mean, I've been lazing about at the Opera House for 4 hours with 5286 nudists.... and I think I might be overstimulated... The slightest vibration causes ... well.. you know... and I've put some tracky daks on.... but they're fleecy... so fleecy.... Doc, I could row a boat with it.... what should I do? Manly hugs StalkThere's only one thing to do Stalky.... find yourself a gaggle of interested partners and go nuts. Make sure they're wearing helmets though, because when you blow, whoever you're 'with' is probably going into orbit!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'randomtip' Hey JGMD, I cammed with a girl the other night and now I have a rash on my belly button. What do you think it is she gave me? Fucken itchy too Random Random - I used to get this all the time, even back before camming was popular and I was using a BBS for cybersex... in the end it turned out to be a ring I was wearing - it chafed against my bellybutton. The fix for me was to photoshop out the ring. PS - I still get a rash, but not on my bellybutton.
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RHP User
16 years ago
dr jean, n light of your wonderful advice from last time i have another question for you i have just started seeing someone and seeing as i have a low sex drive im wondering what i could do to blow his mind, any suggestions besides the armpit?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Love your advice re chaffing.......(aint he just the cutest thing against a wall ....LOL) I have experienced a similar situation but in reverse ..................sort of...............being a girl like. But your lateral thinking talents must be contageous cause we solved it with out having to stop and ask for you assistance. Now he remembers to take the chunkier jewellery off first and well......things have been going really smoothly. so smoothly that im suprised you haven't heard me down the road at your place. smiling contentedly miss b
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'littlered'dr jean, n light of your wonderful advice from last time i have another question for you i have just started seeing someone and seeing as i have a low sex drive im wondering what i could do to blow his mind, any suggestions besides the armpit? This shouldn't be hard - with three drool-worthy picture sets and a low sex-drive, all you'd need to do to blow my mind is bump up the sex drive and my mind would turn squishy and i'd be following you around like a puppy... but I digress. You'll need - that black dress, those black lace boy-legs and your red hair. Some will say the wildest sex is drunk sex - not true - it's ten times hotter and confusing if your new-found raunchiness can't be explained by champagne or vodka. Invite me around...oh I mean invite him around and when you answer the door - say nothing. Talk is cheap tonight and you're the aggressor. Press him against a wall, kiss him and grab his crutch. If his hand isn't already up your skirt on your arse put it there... if he's not hard yet, call me. He's a lost cause. Unfortunately I don't think this will be a problem. Drop to your knees and drag his jeans down and stroke him.... enough - that'll do - have you said anything to him? NO - AND DON'T. Are you still in that hot skirt? YES - GOOD. Undress him and lead him into the bedroom. Lay him down and straddle his face. Lift up your skirt, lick your fingers and masturbate - right over his face with your panties on... Are you wet? Can he smell you? Shit - I think I can!! Now it's time to stand up and strip for him - don't give me that innocent 'huh?' look. I've seen your pics... you know how to tease. When you're naked and done touching yourself all over, turn around, kneel over his face (69), lean forward and take his cock in your mouth. Let your bodies guide you from here. Doc *kinda sweaty*
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RHP User
16 years ago
well that is good advice although i dont masturbate again yes i know im a weird girl so that part might be a bit hard to do, plus he is away for a week. i wanna surprise him with mind blowing sex when he gets back.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Jeano.. that's brilliant and I'm going to try that on Ridge... hehe littered... you're not masturbating for you.. it's all for the benefit of your friend... so that's ok... hehe. Not a sin! Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
16 years ago
its not that i think its a sin, its just i dont do , i never have , i believe that the exploring should not always be done by ones self, that it should be a thing to be explored with you parter. so thereforer i cant do it for him if i dont do it in life
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi Doc,How far is too far to travel for a mindblowing sexual experience? You know, the goosebump kind, complete with hithery looks and whipped cream ... Should one have geographical boundaries? Hoping you can help me out with this question, it's been keeping me awake at night recently. Not good. Congratulations on a great forum topic while I'm at it. You really seem to know your stuff. Although, I suspect that behind every good doctor is an absolutely spectacular nurse. She's obviously very good at ... er ... dictation. By the way, how cold is that stethascope of yours???
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'littlered'its not that i think its a sin, its just i dont do , i never have , i believe that the exploring should not always be done by ones self, that it should be a thing to be explored with you parter. so thereforer i cant do it for him if i dont do it in life And good on you red - while Stalky is walking around with coke-bottle thick glasses, you'll still have 20-20 vision. But for the sake of the story - can you at least pretend.... or maybe just scratch a mossie bite down there... or something?
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RHP User
16 years ago
im sure i could wrk out something fr him to look at. if i cant do anything ill be sure to let him have a little bit of fun. the main problem is we would have to be very quiet as when i will be staying at his house the housemates 5 year old son will be there and well im not allowed to walk around wearing sexy stuff casue apparently the 15 year old will wanna jump me.
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RHP User
16 years ago
so how can i do all these naughty things to my partner when theres a 15 year old boy around, and im not allowed to dress sexy?/???
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'couple30ssydney'Hi Doc,How far is too far to travel for a mindblowing sexual experience? You know, the goosebump kind, complete with hithery looks and whipped cream ... Should one have geographical boundaries? Hoping you can help me out with this question, it's been keeping me awake at night recently. Not good. Congratulations on a great forum topic while I'm at it. You really seem to know your stuff. Although, I suspect that behind every good doctor is an absolutely spectacular nurse. She's obviously very good at ... er ... dictation. By the way, how cold is that stethascope of yours??? People have been known to travel 1000s of kilometres, and spend hours in planes, dodgy airports while risking food poisoning and rare diseases to see a waterfall or crooked tower. I mean - it's water falling off a ledge, and poor workmanship. So by that, you can safely assume that goosebumps, hithery looks and whipped cream fights should have few if any geographical boundaries.... and if mind-blowing sexual experiences are on the agenda - well... the only boundaries worth considering are those where a safe word is needed. Personally I like to use 'more' as a safe word... confusion can be sexy. Thanks for your kind words... but you'll find that this doctor doesn't believe in having a nurse behind him... but in front of him it's a very different story. Now come hither! Doc JG *cold stethescope at the ready*
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'littlered'im sure i could wrk out something fr him to look at. if i cant do anything ill be sure to let him have a little bit of fun. the main problem is we would have to be very quiet as when i will be staying at his house the housemates 5 year old son will be there and well im not allowed to walk around wearing sexy stuff casue apparently the 15 year old will wanna jump me. Gees - I'm glad you didn't throw all these obstacles at me earlier, otherwise I'd still be scratching my head. I'm going to open this one up to the floor... my biggest 'play-interference' drama is a Husky who likes to lick your bum when you're at it on the couch - and the solution for that is pretty simple: Don't put peanut butter on your butt.................. or I could put him outside I guess. Hotel? Motel?? Your place?
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RHP User
16 years ago
cant go to my house as my housemate is having his gf over for the first time and i wanted to give them som privacy and hotels are too expensive
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RHP User
16 years ago
my boyfriends b'day is coming up but he doesnt want any presents. any ideas of what i should do/ get him for it
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'littlered'my boyfriends b'day is coming up but he doesnt want any presents. any ideas of what i should do/ get him for it Well whenever someone says they don't want any presents to me... I give them no presents. That's usually a fix - their next birthday will usually come with some hints on what they'd like - amazing really! Now I know what I'd want if I was him... and it would just involve a big bow - but hmmmm ... let me think.... and how did the welcome home party go anyway!?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear JG I fear I have lost my groove and need to know how to get it back! Recent longer term dalliance caused me to break the 2 shag rule and has left me lacking interest in foreplay. Seems all I can go for is hard fast fucking and fear this may lead to objectification of men for all the wrong reasons! Please tell me how can I get my groove back?
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RHP User
16 years ago
him coming back home went well, we went out to a club i made sure i was wearing his fav colour lingerie the red and black ones from my pics) and well yeah he loved me for it could barely keep his hands off me all night,not to mention wat happened back at his place afer the club. so should get some giant ribbon and wrap myself up in it? or just be naked under a trench cat take him into his room and tell him to unwrap me,
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RHP User
16 years ago
Dear Dr JG, while particular people have fun cumming over a friends boobies, a recent experience has me puzzled... Cumming on said friends face only resulted in wild giggles followed by a loud "EWWWWWW"!... Is this the normal reaction? whats a man to do? yours squirtingly Celts
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'CeltsandBrits'Dear Dr JG, while particular people have fun cumming over a friends boobies, a recent experience has me puzzled... Cumming on said friends face only resulted in wild giggles followed by a loud "EWWWWWW"!... Is this the normal reaction? whats a man to do? yours squirtingly Celts Hi Celts, All of my mates with boobies hate it when I cum on them - mainly because it's usually on a boys weekend when everyone has passed out and I'm still awake wondering whether a boys weekend would be better if we invited (selected) women along. Usually my nocturnal emissions on them result in a "EEEWWW - You sick fuck!" and giggles (from me). So I guess what you're describing is a normal reaction. Although to be sure I'm going to try cumming on their faces next time we go away and see what happens. I guess the other options include: a) Improve your aim - masturbating into a bucket, and then decreasing the target size bit by bit. I'd say once you're able to shoot into a coke bottle from 2 metres in an afternoon seabreeze you're going to be on the money every time. b) Tie your target down... A writhing, wriggling, giggling, moving target is always problematic. Ever helpful Dog JG PS - Let me know how you progress with your aiming practice - I could plot it on a graph maybe? Y'know like a motivational personal trainer type thing.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thanks JG!!! I'm going to Kmart to get myself a bucket.... just realised, even if my aim doesn't improve... I can always put the bucket over her head... that way she'll have protection! eh? eh? Buckets are so versatile...
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RHP User
16 years ago
forgive me if this has been posted already by me, dr g when my bf got back i out on some sexy lingerie (red with black lace ) showed him what i was wearing before putting a long dress over it when we went out, he couldn't keep his hands off me all night. for his bday should i be naked under a trench coat and take him into his room and tae advantage of him or dress in his fav school girl outfit or my last option just a giant bow and get him to unwrap me??
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'littlered'so should get some giant ribbon and wrap myself up in it? or just be naked under a trench cat take him into his room and tell him to unwrap me, That's perfect... sometimes the question is right there in the answer... get some sexy material - you know silky, smooth - the stuff that feels like skin should feel. And wrap yourself in it like a big present. A strategic bow here and there - I think you're onto a winner (unless the cops or pizza guy comes to the door before he does... but that's a whole new story Miss Saturn might be able to elaborate on for us). Oh - make sure you're wearing sexy lingerie under that wrapping... it'll be like pass the parcel, with just one player. (Two if you count the parcel) PS - You're forgiven for double posting - if you mention red / black lace lingerie, you can post it as many times as you like.
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RHP User
16 years ago
i jut put some new pics in red hot pics f the lingerie i wat talking about, just to show exactly wat i was talking about, i have to format alot more pics and then ill post some more if you think i should
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'missguided74' Dear JG I fear I have lost my groove and need to know how to get it back! Recent longer term dalliance caused me to break the 2 shag rule and has left me lacking interest in foreplay. Seems all I can go for is hard fast fucking and fear this may lead to objectification of men for all the wrong reasons! Please tell me how can I get my groove back? Oh Missguided.... this is a truly awful predicament - firstly, us poor men hate being objectified (it's confusing... and umm... back to front!) Secondly - you're going to become over-sensitive to foreplay without realising it. I mean at the moment, you're obviously enjoying the fruits of headboard and wall damaging thrusting, and choose to disregard the pleasure that warm breath on pussy can bring... first the breath, then the gentle touch of tongue on groove - pressing apart your lips - searching for... oh well you get the idea! When you finally grow tired of hard and fast (took me about 12 years, so don't hold your breath) and someone's tongue finally heads south - you're going to literally explode and do him (or her... oooh yeah) permanent damage. Sex without foreplay is simply awesome... but not as good as pre-foreplay, foreplay, slow and sensual sex followed by a near on physical assault ;-) So C'mon - stop objectifying us poor men, get back on the foreplay horse - kneel before your dalliance to start things off - and before you know it - tongue in groove action will follow and everyone will ride off into the sunset with a dirty smirk. Doc 'Hi-ho Silver' Jean
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thanks Doc, Your advice worked a treat...so wise and sometimes even right, not sure how you do it, but not for me to look a gift horse in the mouth!
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Going somewhere & want to hook up?
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