F39
Cheating or not??
April 20 2012
Comments
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playfulminx
14 years ago
... cos it makes an ass out of u and me right?Seriously, though. I feel terribly for you because no matter what your hubby may be up to your head must be imagining all sorts of sordid things and the only way you're going to be able to put your mind at ease is to confront him AFTER you've had some time to check out RHP yourself.I say this because I would think a good percentage of people aren't on RHP to meet people. It's as much an adult entertainment site as a hook up site. I am not always meeting people but you can bet I log in almost every day to check in on forums and other stuff.Other people will disagree and suggest that being on here is a good indication that he does want to meet people. That may be true but the ball's in your court as to whether you watch and wait (in which case he may end up cheating) or get in there and say, 'How about that RHP? Wanna perve on some hotties together?'.Good luck!
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RHP User
14 years ago
if you you are concerned ask him what you gonna do of he is here looking for something he is not getting . He will eventually find out you are on rhp then what . what exactly are you doing on rhp checking up on him or looking for sexual gratification
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RHP User
14 years ago
Firstly Sexy I am so sorry to hear of your predicament...I have so been there, in exactly the same boat and I feel for you...and sadly my story did not have a happy ending. Knowing what I know now..Im pretty sure I would have acted differently but having said that..things end for reason.... So here is what I would do and remember this is what I would do.... not what you should do..... It would be fair to say that no one joins this site to meet a fishing buddy.....however as playfulminx said you cannot assume........we are suppose to be innocent till PROVEN gulity I would suggest that you relook at your evidence gathered and if you are 99 percent sure that you have hard facts that this is what your hubby is doing then you must discuss this with him, calmly, rationally, without tears or tantrums (easy to say I know) ...ranting and raving will get you nowhere - there isnt a man alive that responds to it.......the key then is to listen to what he has to say..... If his excuses are lame in your opinion, then only you know whether your marriage is worth working on or not and from there only you know what to do...no one knows what goes on in a marriage except the two people married to each other and only you can decide what is acceptable to you..we all have our own dealbreakers If he states for instance that he is on here to broaden his sexual horizons for the both of you then again as playful said this could be a wonderful opportunity for you both to grow sexually and even closer.... We all have intent, thoughts, fantasies etc and him being on here although unacceptable to you ...it maybe an innocent act...however that is something that needs to be discussed in depth but remember it does not mean he has cheated..and trust me, he doesnt have to have a profile on here or any other sex site to cheat...my experience is that if they want to cheat, they will no matter what ..this is just another avenue open to them...fear their workmates or your best friend more !!! I know this Whatever happens when you have the "chat" ...retain your dignity and self respect...take the time now before the confrontation to re examine what is important to you, look at possible compromise, decide rite now what is acceptable to you and what isnt and what is and isnt negotiable Remember to be true to yourself thru all of this.... I wish you all the best xx
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RHP User
14 years ago
I met him online on a similar site. He's married, loves his wife to bits, but is curious and titillated by the freedom of a site where you can chat openly with all sorts of people about sex. From what he said, and I tended to believe him, he would not cheat on his wife. Mind you, some people would classify being on this site without his wife's knowledge a form of cheating, I guess. My point is though, like Minx said, be careful not to assume :) I also agree there is probably much less meeting via this site than people expect. I think for some people it functions similarly to porn - entertainment and stimulation. I'm not so into porn, but my mind sure gets turned on by a lot of the forum threads here, and that's where most good sex starts :) When I was 25 sites like this didn't even exist really. People didn't talk so openly about sex. The media was a lot more restrained. I really feel for you, this site, your husband's bdhaviour, questions of trust etc, are a lot to deal with. I find communication, especially about difficult subjects, works best when ask non-judgmental questions, rather than make confronting statements. Cheating? Maybe, but you won't know really until you talk with him. All the best xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Damned iPhone :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
The mother of all fuckups! Addittionally I think what Playfullminx said is right, though from a female perspective, although there are certainly men on here not looking to "hook up" I myself being in that basket, but I would think I am in the minority.Men are rather less inclined to Monogamy than women, that doesn't make it ok to cheat, just a statement.Men are also more given to cheating should their emotional or physical needs not beeing met at home, are they? are you sure? Sometimes blokes can play the martyr and make out like everything is ok when really, things are pretty serious, whether it be due to financial stresses, new dad syndrome, or a myriad of other scenarios.Tread softly and coax the communication if you can. Fight for your Marriage.Hey good luck!, hoping it works out for you two, lord knows society needs more stable families.Cheers Felonius.....Happily married 27 years
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RHP User
14 years ago
...about 30% of the male membership of this site just got the vapors. Seems rather contrite to join this site then post in and start a thread but oh well...I can only imagine even your in-box has already lit up with offers of sincere condolence. |I really have nothing to say...it's just rather bizarre, that's all. Thanks, though...you just thinned out the numbers a bit but they'll be back tomorrow. |Reality points: 0
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RHP User
14 years ago
I agree with what both slk and lil_bit_angelic said. He may be here because he likes the vicarious thrill of being on a sex site. He may not be actively looking for someone to cheat with. He may like the forums ,reading and or posting. or he may be bored with your marriage.....some people crave variety,the thrill of the new. but unless you talk to him,you will never know. Who knows ,you may end up having a couples profile here. good luck sexy3699 x Hugs H
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RHP User
14 years ago
Would have to agree with what has been said, not so much in defending him, but myself I've used this site many times more as a source of information... The ladies on this site more often then not will tell it as they see it. Is also a good place to get ideas if the bedroom is getting boring. I've been here going on 5 maybe 6 years, half the time I'm sure no one even realises I'm here, but that's just it, It's because this site caters for a wider variety then your average site. If it makes you feel any better, the ratio of men to woman on this site means as a male, if all your looking for is to hook up, you'd have more luck as a male, in your local bar.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Read your post 4 times, apologies if I'm being dumb but Idungeddit???
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RHP User
14 years ago
by flirting with him here on RHP and seeing what happens. I find that a lot of the males with profiles are not really serious, just having a little taste of living out a fantasy, especially the married ones. When I offerthem the works on a plate they often show their true colours and chicken out. Your assumption may be wrong, as you suspect as shown by your capital letters. Also, there are many kinds of cheating other than the sexual stuff that happens here and nobody's perfect. There may be room for some compromise. My husband loves me enough to allow me to do what I do and because I give him a little freedom in other ways. Our relationship was saved and was always good but is now very good.
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RHP User
14 years ago
CM Mate; you ALWAYS have something to say... You are ITCHING to say it.. You are bursting at the seams to say it.. and keep on saying it... Bugger, I am going to have to get Firefox... ANYWAY - Sex3669 Hit him up... if he doesn't know you are on him... If he is on here as "Rupert Holmes" it may be wonderful... Do you like Pina Coladas?? Just a thought.. cavey
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sorry to hear about your situation sexy. I think the sensible and adult thing to do would be to confront him but you don't know if you're going to get an honest answer. I don't want to sound like an arsehole, but set him up so you can find out the truth. Pose as someone else and start chatting. Find out his intentions, maybe he is on here for some friendly banter. If not, set up a meet and catch him out. It sounds sneaky and low but considering what he's doing, it's worth peace of mind. Just a suggestion, I'm sure you're going to get some great advice on here, like you have already.Weigh it all up and see what suits you best. Good luck
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RHP User
14 years ago
he's here and you didnt know? absolutely confront him....call him out about it...it doesnt matter what his 'intent' might be....meeting someone, or just having a toss....the fact that you didnt know....or that he concealed it from you....constitutes cheating in our eyes...
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RHP User
14 years ago
...the profile first before even posting a thing, sure I've got a degree in Bovine Fecal Massology but it's only an honorarium as I took it from an online university.| Quoting 'cavey50' CM Mate; you ALWAYS have something to say... Bugger, I am going to have to get Firefox...|There just seem to be a lot of incongruities here...if this person knows something then why not just say it directly? How often too do we see comments on these boards about the number of men that are here and how many of them may be involved in relationships and their "significant other" doesn't know they're here....some even know they are here and are here together under separate profiles yet still suspect each other of fowl play, birds of a feather flocking around together and sometimes best not in the same coop. If you believe all that, the percentage would be quite high and if these same people do read the forums then they may have just shut down their profiles and hit the door.|Seriously, or not...this seems a bit to me like getting security at the MGM Grand (the largest Casino hotel in Vegas) to broadcast to every room in the place "There is a woman here that knows her husband is not wearing his wedding ring". Don't stand in front of the door or try to get out of the car park....and worse if they follow up with "There is a man here that knows his wife is not wearing his wedding ring".|The other was just a bit of an RHP given...even after a post like this and with incongruous info in the profile and no picture I would bet my last Krispy Kreme doughnut that there are still flirts or messages hitting this persons inbox. The letter "F" in a profile is all it takes and as for a picture, it could be of a cross-eyed charging water buffalo and the ladies would still get hit up. |So there you go, Sherlock just not Holmes....and I totally agree Cavey. Right now I am using a browser that lets me run the Trident, Gecko and Webkit engines side by side and right now it all falls over unless you are running a Gecko based browser. That in itself is another one of those 30% things ableit handy if you driving an Mac-based solution. |Just fix it in both cases...everybody doesn't have to know.
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RHP User
14 years ago
... here Sexy. On the surface your predicament seems genuine (but why post it?). Yet your profile contradicts completely. Maybe I am missing something (or not). I wish you well - back to my coffee (that first morning brew is always the best :-) KK x .
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RHP User
14 years ago
It's easy to expect people to be grown up, rational and reasonable when they're facing a problem that they need to address. But frankly, I think it's one if the hardest things to do - to take a deep breath and work through something calmly when you're facing loss, grief, confusion, heart break, maybe betrayal or worse. I don't know the truth of the OP's situation but I do know this is one of the times RHP forums can come into their own - offering compassion, ideas, information and different points of view. If you've ever been brought to your knees emotionally, hurting, lost, feeling alone, you'll know how much of a difference a kind word can make. You might be right CM, this might be a cynical exercise for the OP but I prefer to err on the side of humanity and reach out when I think maybe someone needs some kindness :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
...and will now go stand in the corner. I'm screwed though...it's a round room.|Thinking outside the square....reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am just going to come out and call a spade a spade. If you had no idea that he was on here and you found out because you had some form of doubt...Then I think you know the answer to your question already. What people seem to not realise is cheating isnt just the act of sex, but the conscious pursuit of playing outside the boundaries of trust. Therefore the fact that he is online here and you know he is frequently online, he is lying to you and breaking that trust you have between each other.That he is online here, so I am guessing he thinks he has successfully pulled one over you. You say that he has no idea you know t You sound like a lovely woman with a big heart, and I take my hat off to you for seeking advise on the place where he hunts. People so far are suggesting that you do not get angry at him straight away or make assumption, but if you know he still gets on here very regularly, go for your life do what will make you feel better! If you want to get some information, and test his reactions, I would in conversation mention his nickname on here out of the blue, give him that I know look and see where it goes. I am terribly sorry to hear about your predicament, but you deserve nothing but the truth... I wish you all the best and hope you get your answers as well as follow your heart.cheers
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'm with mikeandshel ... Call him out. Being open and honest in a marriage is it's foundation. You constantly have to bring things to the table and confront it's growth or decline. Be open and honest with yourself and your sexual fantasies and his. Bring it to the table. I've recently separated with my husband, he cheated, but we brought it to the table. Our sex life just got better and better. However, he chose to continue his encounters though he said otherwise. Cheating and lying is a poor quality and pretty fucking obvious- more so retrospectively however. My advice, trust your intuition honey. Sure fight for your marriage, but consider your time and how much bullshit are you willing to put up with. As they say "being in a relationship with no trust, is like sitting in a car with no engine: you won't get anywhere far" Lots of good advice here Hope it works out for the best. Love Cassandra
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RHP User
14 years ago
Oh yea great idea, start the accusations, then the insults and the guilt trips, maybe a little domestic violence and then separate on bad terms. Terrific advice, keep up the good work.However if you wanted to take the simple easy way out like that, you probably would have already done that rather than create a profile?
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RHP User
14 years ago
No one seems to be getting you today CM Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' ...and will now go stand in the corner. I'm screwed though...it's a round room.|Thinking outside the square....reality is the only obstacle to happiness. Things get so complicated only when we let it.........can you not see the simple solution to your problem?Seems like a hell of a lot of trouble to go to , when all you have to do is walk into the next room, let your mouth fall open and say "Honey , I think we need to talk" You either want an honest answer from him or you don't.....if you dont want to hear it, and if exploring other sides of sex aren't for you then you may not want to hear it .The way I see this working out for you is you can either a. Walk into the other room, and try to start the discussion off in a non confrontational way (Hey , honey I've joined this site you may be interested in) why not turn it into a 'together' thing as opposed to a me and him battle..b. Hit him up on here until you have enough damning evidence and confront him with it , putting him automatically on the defensive because you've waited till you have something to rub his nose right in.....and watch it all go to hell in a handbasket..Sometimes the simple solution really is the best one , good luck.Why is it easier to talk to thousands of perfect strangers than the one we married?
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RHP User
14 years ago
If sexy has a bit of hisstory to go on, and reckons her husband is only going to come up with a heep of BS and lie and con and contort, then she plays it this way.. catches him red handed... why confront someone who has a history of lies, and listen to more.. he wont stop doing what he is doing, he wil just build stronger firewalls.. (for want of a better term) to keep his terrible untrusting wife from finding him next time. Personally, I would like to know who he is, check him out myself, then, IF I can con sexy into believing my BS, then eventually get her into bed with me, and have her think I am a hero for showing her the error of her cheating horrid husband. Of course, it maybe Sex3669, that your Husband has some dark secrets like.. wanting a couple for a Bi MMF experience, and didn't think you would handle that knowledge (so you find a bi male and bring him home)... OR, he may want to try out as a sub to a BDSM couple.. in this case, you get a dom male..and Cuck your hubby :) Either way you see.. "You Win" Well... your marriage MAY NOT survive... but, have the fun and it will make it less of a loss... NOW: Either way.. you do to get it sorted out. and who know..... it might work out to be the best and most exciting thing you have ever done.. :) Good luck.. caveyman (LUCK is a phenomenon, created by God to give HOPE to the ill - prepared)
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am still thinking Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain.. making love at midnight.... Nahh..... ok... I will go with CM :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
...some can and some don't.| Quoting 'D_G_T' No one seems to be getting you today CM|Just like at those sock hops way back when...you only ask the girls to dance if they are tapping their toes already. |Like your new outfit...you could just be a contender if you want to jump into the middle of the squared circle surrounded by ring ropes and go a few rounds? I'm sure the event promoters will give us 50% of the gate and you know I own the popcorn concession...go the distance and we'll split the take win, lose or draw.|Just keep it real...and we'll both live to fight another day.
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RHP User
14 years ago
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RHP User
14 years ago
lol is the correct ending
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wannabyummymummy
14 years ago
As others have pointed out NEVER assume anything, always better to ask outright and get it straight.I think I understand where you are coming from with creating a profile for yourself to find out what exactly the site is about before confronting him, I hope you get the information you are seeking.I personally don't think that having a profile on here without your knowledge is cheating any more than having a pile of Porn or mags that you don't know about is but the truth is that 'cheating' has different definitions to different couples (and individuals) for that matter, only you can decide if this is a form of cheating for you.I also think that being on here is not an indication of intention on it's own, do you know what his profile says? is he saying he is looking to meet for "discrete meets only" does he elude to the fact that he is meeting without his wife's knowledge? does he state "married" in his profile status? does he say he is just here for the forums or to chat to people? you need to put it all in perspective.Ask yourself this, is he here because the two of you don't talk openly about sex? is he looking for answers? if the two of you dont have open communication then perhaps he is here for some answers and advice much in the same way you are. If this is the case maybe an open and honest discussion (hold the judgement) is in order.I would not suggest testing him out by flirting him that could end badly. What i would suggest is give him the benefit of the doubt when you talk to him about it, ask questions like "what made you join the site?" what are you looking for there?" maybe he is interested in swinging and wanted to find out more about it to decide if it was something you could both do together before he raised it as a topic????You should perhaps think about the questions you are going to ask and the possible answers to them and think about what the implications of those answers might be for instance if he wants to try swinging is that something you would be willing to do? or is it going to be a deal breaker for you? if he is cheating are you likely to end the marriage over it? or are you likely to open the relationship where he is free to have sex with others so long as you know about it??Every body's reactions and situations are different so no one here is going to be able to tell you exactly what he is doing here, or what you should do about it, only you will know what is right for you, BUT you really need to communicate with your husband ASAPBest of luck
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RHP User
14 years ago
...maybe lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' ...maybe lol Pac-king something good at least lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
wannab... I'm all for the honest, straightforward approach, just so long as it is non confrontational & non blaming (deep breaths :-) & a good deal of calm). Best of luck with whatever you decide to do. KKx Oh and Cavey: bloomin' behave yourself, the poor girl is suffering enough!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
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RHP User
14 years ago
.....may be run using various options depending on the implementation that enable special operational modes, such as to specify the packet size used as the probe, automatic repeated operation for sending a specified count of probes, and time stamping options.Just Sayin lol wiki is my force.
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RHP User
14 years ago
It is as equally important as you overall speed and shows both latency, lag and worst of all lost packets along the way.| Quoting 'inspirit' wiki is my force. |I actually offered to code one of my posts with a Wiki...she said "What's that..." so I just sent a note saying "Forget it, it doesn't run on 8 "D" cell batteries so you wouldn't get it anyway". |That will teach me to be a tweeked geek who's contumacious, recalcitrant and even irascible at times. No, you can have one that plugs in...Hitachi would have my ass in court so fast it would make your Wiki spin.|☯ ....ping and pong. May the force be with you.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am a tad confused,is espousing a swinging lifestyle a non-monogamous pursuit? A Swedish study concluded that only a small number of men and no women possess a monogamy gene. Donuts CM will make ya happy...well at least give you that illusion for a nano second...how is that for reality..of course the hole could be an obstacle especially when you are doin' donuts on one wheel...x Hugs H
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RHP User
14 years ago
You two totally lost me with your ping ponging wiki picking lolwhat on earth are you on about
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RHP User
14 years ago
...and ping is very small part of testing internet connections which can eventually be helpful in server look-up, tracert, tracking IP's for further ummmmm "research". |She's the geek...I was just playing with my Pong.
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RHP User
14 years ago
be abused as a simple form of "service denial attack" in the form of a "ping flood" in which the attacker (with root privilages) overwhelms the victim with ICMP echo request packets.... I haven't doodled a Wiki yet been playing in pedia....honestly, it's just the words i lke
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RHP User
14 years ago
you feeling ok??, cos I know I need a panandol from reading your ëxplanation"!!!!Anyhow - getting back on topic - Sexy for once I am in agreement with 99% of people here - DON'T flirt him - the pina cololada song is all very loverly - but its just that a song. Speak to him as suggested in a calm voice, nothing more disconcerting for a man than being confronted by a woman who he thinks is gonna be losing it BIG time thereby giving him a get out of jail card, being calm and collected!Then its up to you - decision time and no-one here can help you with that i'm afraid - good luck xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
what amazes me is how many singles have an opinion on an important relationship issue like the one the OP has shared......if these singles know so much about relationships........why are they not in one themselves? just curious if this is just one of 'those things' best left unexplained.... we feel the Op has every right to question her partner.....especially if she loves him....and feel also that if he loves her....the answer would be honest and straightforward.... there should be no secrets between partners....
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RHP User
14 years ago
Oh I'm getting worried now...if you know how to route (*shrugs*...you can pronounce it root) the dynamic IP address, you can eventually put so much pressure on via multiple *~ping~* requests that the host will simply fall over.| Quoting 'inspirit' Be abused as a simple form of "service denial attack" in the form of a "ping flood" ... I haven't doodled a Wiki yet...honestly, it's just the words i like. |I think I have your dynamics dialed in...I'll do my best to doodle your Wiki, you can take care of the flood and just be careful when you fall over.|I think you could use a good ponging.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Pinging is for amateurs.If you are trying to bring down a web site then using HTTP-Posts until it is flooded with OT responses will be more effective You both need a good root kit I think.Mr C
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RHP User
14 years ago
...just like those nasty boys Cain-&-Abel who enlist the help of a hitman known only as John the Ripper. Mythology even tells us that Orph is not just Ophelia ...but I know nothing, those are just to back test security protocols you know. No need to ask when you load a Linux emulator on to a Windows OS....life changes for some but not others. Rainbows everywhere...and even some poison that won't hurt a thing but erases any footprint. |Ping my pong...I was just getting warmed up Mr. C
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RHP User
14 years ago
You know this is only sexy talk for the geeks right? :P
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RHP User
14 years ago
FFS just go and ask the man what he is doing he's probably just perving on the pics for crying out loud Hugs
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RHP User
14 years ago
...on how you apply the knowledge?| Quoting 'D_G_T' You know this is only sexy talk for the geeks right? :P|It's amazing how many doors you can open...pick a porn, any porn?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Foreign languages are always sexy D_G_T, but maybe something is lost in text.Just try to imagine it whispered in your ear in a sultry Spanish accent.
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RHP User
14 years ago
*snuggles up to DGT and whispers* ...touch my hard drive baby, I want to RAM you.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'm not a geek but I do know the protocols, and I think displaying some restraint at Layer 6 may lead to more action at Layer 1.
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RHP User
14 years ago
One of the things I admire the most about this site are some of the couples how they have their shit together. You might have Mrs thats caming up looking for other couples or ladies if she is Bi & although she may get offers from single guys she tells them that she is not interested. I feel that this is very respectful to her partner & I admire that in a woman.If you are doing something behind your partners back then yes I call that cheating.Only suggestion I have is perhaps tell him you have heard of RHP & what does he think about the 2 of you going on as a couple, if he refuses or has an issue with other guys looking at you then he s not only a cheater but he s a hypocrite & flick him cause there are decent guys out there.My thoughts :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
...always make sure you have your anti-virus protection on! ||A Trojan Horse...that's a condom for a huge one, right?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Get some lady you know to chat with him online if he trys to hook up with them you no hes cheating!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Obviously there is 'something' amiss , be it with You , Him or Your RelationshipYour both here now , so why not use it to both Your advantage You can make it a problem or You can choose to see the silver lining
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'brenbob_68' you feeling ok??, cos I know I need a panandol from reading your ëxplanation"!!!!here Bren.... playing in the round room......I doon't like Pina Colada's though I like getting out of the same dull routine.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'D_G_T' You know this is only sexy talk for the geeks right? :P but but i'm not a geek......just don't like squares ....I better bring you up to speed though DGT......RAM = Comes in multiple of two and pending on the size of the RAM will determin the applications that can be used.HARD DRIVE = We all need a good hard drive.....it's where it is all stored.. works in conjunction with RAM and without decent RAM you wont get the best out your hard drive
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight A Trojan Horse...that's a condom for a huge one, right? think not....I believe a Trojan Horse can be quite a malicious bugger when it back doors you.....cleaning up the mess from this application is a pain in the arse..... Or am i confused with the Greek War you may be right after all
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RHP User
14 years ago
Wake up you all, HE'S CHEATING !
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RHP User
14 years ago
Was actually going to answer the OP...Maybe he's just here for the articles?You need to treat this like a romantic comedy - this bit is known as the misunderstanding. From here you need to break up without really explaining why or giving him the opportunity to repent. Then you wait until one or both of you are falling for someone else before realising your mistake. Dont try to fix it however until he's just about to re-marry, then make a desperate bid to make amends, and whatever you do make sure that involves a chase to the airport.Only then can you live happily ever after.Mr C
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' Quoting 'ChasingMidnight A Trojan Horse...that's a condom for a huge one, right? think not....I believe a Trojan Horse can be quite a malicious bugger when it back doors you.....cleaning up the mess from this application is a pain in the arse..... Or am i confused with the Greek War you may be right after all A trojan horse is typically invited through the front door, but once in then proceeds to open up your back door for all his mates!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sadly Yes I do find its cheating,lets face it as you said this site clearly is not for chatting,you would actually be amazed at the amount of married men on this site,quite frankly I think its sickning and a real put off,Id be horrified & asking my man wat he gets fronm the site that im not giving him,maybe he just gets on here to look at the menu to see wat his missing out on or maybe his a sicko that gets on here & flogs off over the pictures but either way its chaeating in my eyes
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RHP User
14 years ago
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'OnTheProwlreowww' Sadly Yes I do find its cheating,lets face it as you said this site clearly is not for chatting,you would actually be amazed at the amount of married men on this site,quite frankly I think its sickning and a real put off,Id be horrified & asking my man wat he gets fronm the site that im not giving him,maybe he just gets on here to look at the menu to see wat his missing out on or maybe his a sicko that gets on here & flogs off over the pictures but either way its chaeating in my eyes most 'singles' dont get this...but then, they are here for 'themselves' after all, so thats not surprising.... if you are a 'couple' , everything you say, think, feel or do, has to take into consideration, how it might impact on your relationship....or on your partner.... and if the things you say, think, feel or do, are such that it has even the remotest chance of a negative impact...then it should be excluded from your life.... coming here without your partners knowledge or even consent (tacit or explicit) isnt the behavior of decent, caring or respectful people....its selfish. if you stop and think properly about what 'cheating' really is...you'd see that the first person you 'cheat' is always yourself....you cheat yourself of honesty, of respect, and of trust... if this woman feels her guys doing the wrong thing...then he is. end of argument. should she question him? absolutely.
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RHP User
14 years ago
and l like picturesByte me
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yep CM I get it mate and more besides. I am not suckered into the "Oh poor me. My man is cheating" routine. . You sly dog Sexy 3669. You have done exactly what I would do. Yes you set up a profile. I bet your last dollar you have already sent you husband a flirt or two...tempted him just a little. Time to up the ante a little and put in a tempting pic or two...make sure thay are not yours though or he will twig. Bait that trap properly girl before you go off imagining all sorts of things that you yourself are also doing.......
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' No need to ask when you load a Linux emulator on to a Windows OS....| though as a guess, I would say you really like the command line for administration purposes and u like playing with your code in latex.
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RHP User
14 years ago
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RHP User
14 years ago
an update from the OP - what she thinks of the comments, what approach she's taken since she posted. from lil.miss.curious :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
I can't believe how judgemental people can be on here. Fancy Married guys being on a "swingers" site totally unbelievable, a disgrace even.Everyone is here for their own reasons !!!! A little insight may be gained from an honest profile but 200 words certainly doesn't tell my life story.Do you people know sexy 3669 or her husband ? Have you even seen his profile ? How do you know his thoughts or feelings. How can YOU judge him. I say people in glass houses or He who casts the first stone bla bla bla.I personally find people who use the internet to find sex vulgar, abhorrent and disgusting swine. You people are filthy animals and should be, at the very least, locked away from decent members of society, if not actually put to death for your sickening and sinful conduct.(Sorry if I seem a little, Umm, Oh yeah Judgemental).Sexy3669 I would suggest talking. Only you know what is and isn't acceptable to you. If you are having problems you need to sort them out yourselves. Do Not take peoples advice on here about what constitutes "cheating". It is your value's or morals that you need to take into account not theirs. All you can do is talk to him about it and judge for yourselves were your relationship will go from here. Ultimately you know if your happy or not, if you want to work on your relationship or not. You should never put up with any form of abuse from a partner. You should be able to trust your partner. He shouldn't lie to you but some subjects are hard to broach. He may be embarrassed, scared, curious or he might just be a cheating son of a bitch.Talk to him and see what happens stewing over it won't lead anywhere but unhappiness. I think 100% disclosure of absolutely everything or it's "cheating" as mikeandshel state is an absolute croc of crap. Of course relationships are built on honesty but were not all perfect and relationships are also about a bit of give and take(compromise) Not to mention love and a smidgen of forgiveness.Trying to set him up as suggested, seems wrong to me and may induce something that never would have happened in any other circumstance but I'm not going to be the judge of that. (Plenty of judges and executioners here for that already it seems).I say I hope it all works out for you either way and goodluck. Quoting 'mikeandshel' Quoting 'OnTheProwlreowww' Sadly Yes I do find its cheating,lets face it as you said this site clearly is not for chatting,you would actually be amazed at the amount of married men on this site,quite frankly I think its sickning and a real put off,Id be horrified & asking my man wat he gets fronm the site that im not giving him,maybe he just gets on here to look at the menu to see wat his missing out on or maybe his a sicko that gets on here & flogs off over the pictures but either way its chaeating in my eyes most 'singles' dont get this...but then, they are here for 'themselves' after all, so thats not surprising.... if you are a 'couple' , everything you say, think, feel or do, has to take into consideration, how it might impact on your relationship....or on your partner.... and if the things you say, think, feel or do, are such that it has even the remotest chance of a negative impact...then it should be excluded from your life.... coming here without your partners knowledge or even consent (tacit or explicit) isnt the behavior of decent, caring or respectful people....its selfish. if you stop and think properly about what 'cheating' really is...you'd see that the first person you 'cheat' is always yourself....you cheat yourself of honesty, of respect, and of trust... if this woman feels her guys doing the wrong thing...then he is. end of argument. should she question him? absolutely.
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RHP User
14 years ago
PS: To the blokes encouraging a marriage breakdown for the very UNLIKELY possibility you'll get laid. Disgraceful.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sexy3669 Do you know what his user name is as if you do all you have to do is view his profile & see what his looking for & then take things from there
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'lil_bit_angelic'an update from the OP - what she thinks of the comments, what approach she's taken since she posted. from lil.miss.curious :) She hasn't logged on since writing this thread.....I just sometimes have to wonder if they really are "wives" or "girlfriends" or just crazy arsed stalkers! . Hugs...xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel' what amazes me is how many singles have an opinion on an important relationship issue like the one the OP has shared......if these singles know so much about relationships........why are they not in one themselves? just curious if this is just one of 'those things' best left unexplained.... we feel the Op has every right to question her partner.....especially if she loves him....and feel also that if he loves her....the answer would be honest and straightforward.... there should be no secrets between partners.... not every relationship is as perfect as the one the two of you share...us singles do have a voice here it isnt just for couples you know!!!!...maybe the singles are the brainy ones in all this, because we are single and not dumb enough to put up with all the crap that goes with a relationship Hugs
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MrandMrsmaybe' I can't believe how judgemental people can be on here. Fancy Married guys being on a "swingers" site totally unbelievable, a disgrace even.Everyone is here for their own reasons !!!! A little insight may be gained from an honest profile but 200 words certainly doesn't tell my life story.Do you people know sexy 3669 or her husband ? Have you even seen his profile ? How do you know his thoughts or feelings. How can YOU judge him. I say people in glass houses or He who casts the first stone bla bla bla.I personally find people who use the internet to find sex vulgar, abhorrent and disgusting swine. You people are filthy animals and should be, at the very least, locked away from decent members of society, if not actually put to death for your sickening and sinful conduct.(Sorry if I seem a little, Umm, Oh yeah Judgemental).Sexy3669 I would suggest talking. Only you know what is and isn't acceptable to you. If you are having problems you need to sort them out yourselves. Do Not take peoples advice on here about what constitutes "cheating". It is your value's or morals that you need to take into account not theirs. All you can do is talk to him about it and judge for yourselves were your relationship will go from here. Ultimately you know if your happy or not, if you want to work on your relationship or not. You should never put up with any form of abuse from a partner. You should be able to trust your partner. He shouldn't lie to you but some subjects are hard to broach. He may be embarrassed, scared, curious or he might just be a cheating son of a bitch.Talk to him and see what happens stewing over it won't lead anywhere but unhappiness. I think 100% disclosure of absolutely everything or it's "cheating" as mikeandshel state is an absolute croc of crap. Of course relationships are built on honesty but were not all perfect and relationships are also about a bit of give and take(compromise) Not to mention love and a smidgen of forgiveness.Trying to set him up as suggested, seems wrong to me and may induce something that never would have happened in any other circumstance but I'm not going to be the judge of that. (Plenty of judges and executioners here for that already it seems).I say I hope it all works out for you either way and goodluck. Quoting 'mikeandshel' Quoting 'OnTheProwlreowww' Sadly Yes I do find its cheating,lets face it as you said this site clearly is not for chatting,you would actually be amazed at the amount of married men on this site,quite frankly I think its sickning and a real put off,Id be horrified & asking my man wat he gets fronm the site that im not giving him,maybe he just gets on here to look at the menu to see wat his missing out on or maybe his a sicko that gets on here & flogs off over the pictures but either way its chaeating in my eyes most 'singles' dont get this...but then, they are here for 'themselves' after all, so thats not surprising.... if you are a 'couple' , everything you say, think, feel or do, has to take into consideration, how it might impact on your relationship....or on your partner.... and if the things you say, think, feel or do, are such that it has even the remotest chance of a negative impact...then it should be excluded from your life.... coming here without your partners knowledge or even consent (tacit or explicit) isnt the behavior of decent, caring or respectful people....its selfish. if you stop and think properly about what 'cheating' really is...you'd see that the first person you 'cheat' is always yourself....you cheat yourself of honesty, of respect, and of trust... if this woman feels her guys doing the wrong thing...then he is. end of argument. should she question him? absolutely. so...if your partners asks you something....then its ok to either lie, or conceal the truth? or....if you feel like keeping a secret, from the one person who is immediately affected by any choice you make, its ok? we dont get that at all....its so much easier to just be up front, as it negates the need for a long memory, and removes any chance of a lie beginning as something inconsequential, and growing until its all consuming... honesty, to us, is the only policy.....especially when you are in an exclusive and adult relationship with another....i'll say it again.....if this woman feels her guy is doing the wrong thing then he is....and if she feels she needs to question him.....she absolutely should... everything we do, think, see or feel, impacts on not just ourselves, but on our partners and our relationships as well.....to hide, conceal or deny anything that might have a negative impact isnt reasonable, no matter how you might justify it... truth is easy, once its out there, its out...lies tend to have lives of their own...and can quite often outlive individuals and even relationships....when its time for me to go...I'd like to think I'm remembered for being principled and honest.......I'd hate to be remembered for the lies i told anyone....you say yourself, almost exactly what i said...but you brand me/us as judgmental? i don't see how this works..... you say you should be able to 'trust' your partner....which is the central point of what i said...but......trust doesn't exist if there's lies or concealment's....how can it?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel'most 'singles' dont get this...but then, they are here for 'themselves' after all, so thats not surprising.... if you are a 'couple' , everything you say, think, feel or do, has to take into consideration, how it might impact on your relationship....or on your partner.... . Most "SINGLES" do get this as they were once in a relationship themselves. Just because we are currently single, that does not mean that we have always been single. We do understand what goes into a relationship and what makes a great one...probably know more about what makes a bad relationship and that is why we are single.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Handmaiden' Quoting 'mikeandshel'most 'singles' dont get this...but then, they are here for 'themselves' after all, so thats not surprising.... if you are a 'couple' , everything you say, think, feel or do, has to take into consideration, how it might impact on your relationship....or on your partner.... . Most "SINGLES" do get this as they were once in a relationship themselves. Just because we are currently single, that does not mean that we have always been single. We do understand what goes into a relationship and what makes a great one...probably know more about what makes a bad relationship and that is why we are single. lol...its 'singles' who often protest the loudest when people express opinions on what constitutes cheating...but we've both been thru the 'cheated on by others' mill...and came out of it more aware of what we expect from our 'other'...we expect 'honesty' first and foremost.......things like respect and trust go with this of course, but we take into consideration what the other might think or feel, or what they might need from us to be truly happy............... singles dont...they only have themselves to consider...which is what i said.... 'single' means 'one'....... its condescending only if you look for it to be.... i was speaking a truth...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'roxxyrose' Quoting 'mikeandshel' what amazes me is how many singles have an opinion on an important relationship issue like the one the OP has shared......if these singles know so much about relationships........why are they not in one themselves? just curious if this is just one of 'those things' best left unexplained.... we feel the Op has every right to question her partner.....especially if she loves him....and feel also that if he loves her....the answer would be honest and straightforward.... there should be no secrets between partners.... not every relationship is as perfect as the one the two of you share...us singles do have a voice here it isnt just for couples you know!!!!...maybe the singles are the brainy ones in all this, because we are single and not dumb enough to put up with all the crap that goes with a relationship Hugs and that's your choice........of course........but so you know, our relationship is far from 'perfect'.... we've had to deal with a whole range of issues to get to where we are....both of us came out of relationships where our partners cheated on us.... mine took absolutely everything i had, including my health, and Shel's actually put her in hospital, after he brutalized, and assaulted her.......she struggles every day with the physical aftermath of his abuse....and the permanent injuries he left her with. hers began after she confronted him about his cheating....would she do it again? absolutely! there's singles here who have voiced opinions on this woman's plight....that devalue what shes asking... and that's wrong...if these singles do actually come from broken relationships...isn't it reasonable to think that they might actually be a little more supportive of a woman who appears to be wanting to save her own? I thought so.....don't you?
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abcplus1
14 years ago
....try sending him a message via rhp and see what his response is.
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RHP User
14 years ago
OKay to start..... I am with Mikeandshel all the way. The people who are usually pro lie or pro deceit are usually like that because they are like that themselves. Honesty may hurt , but it will hurt a lot less in the long term than a lie. Mike and shel you tell em!But at the end of the day, this lady is looking for help and insight, not looking to start fights heated debates between individuals. Her heart is sore and is dealing with something very fragile. Can't we just be supportive instead of let our egos take over. Sexy3669 I hope you have managed to find some form of insight. At the end of the day, the choice is yours how you confront the issue. We do not know you and your partner on a personal level, but one thing I think we can all agree on is your happiness. If you feel like you have been deceived by your partner, and are truly hurt, act accordingly. If you think that it isnt that much of a problem act in the required manner. At the end of the day its your happiness that is most important, we do not have to live with the situation day by day like you do, so therefore we can preach without fear of the consequence. Another problem is you are asking for advice on a swingers website, where people's views on monogamy and honesty can be swayed quite significantly based on their bedroom manner. Maybe try chatting to some close friends of yours who know both of you relatively well..... I hope you found some value in this forum and hope it was not a complete waste of time. I wish you all the best regardless of what happens. It would be nice to find out later (if you were up to it) how you got along. All the best and good luck.hugsRick Quoting 'mikeandshel' Quoting 'roxxyrose' Quoting 'mikeandshel' what amazes me is how many singles have an opinion on an important relationship issue like the one the OP has shared......if these singles know so much about relationships........why are they not in one themselves? just curious if this is just one of 'those things' best left unexplained.... we feel the Op has every right to question her partner.....especially if she loves him....and feel also that if he loves her....the answer would be honest and straightforward.... there should be no secrets between partners.... not every relationship is as perfect as the one the two of you share...us singles do have a voice here it isnt just for couples you know!!!!...maybe the singles are the brainy ones in all this, because we are single and not dumb enough to put up with all the crap that goes with a relationship Hugs and that's your choice........of course........but so you know, our relationship is far from 'perfect'.... we've had to deal with a whole range of issues to get to where we are....both of us came out of relationships where our partners cheated on us.... mine took absolutely everything i had, including my health, and Shel's actually put her in hospital, after he brutalized, and assaulted her.......she struggles every day with the physical aftermath of his abuse....and the permanent injuries he left her with. hers began after she confronted him about his cheating....would she do it again? absolutely! there's singles here who have voiced opinions on this woman's plight....that devalue what shes asking... and that's wrong...if these singles do actually come from broken relationships...isn't it reasonable to think that they might actually be a little more supportive of a woman who appears to be wanting to save her own? I thought so.....don't you?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sorry mikeandshel. It may of been a little unfair of me to single you out as I was probably referring to a couple of posts. However I quote: "what amazes me is how many singles have an opinion on an important relationship issue like the one the OP has shared......if these singles know so much about relationships........why are they not in one themselves?":they are here for 'themselves' after all, so thats not surprising...:coming here without your partners knowledge or even consent (tacit or explicit) isnt the behavior of decent, caring or respectful people... I find these comments quite Judgemental as the above poster stated. To respond to your reply:so...if your partners asks you something....then its ok to either lie, or conceal the truth?Her:Hey dear did you enjoy the special dinner I spent hours preparing.Me: Not really dear the meat was a little overcooked the vegetables were soggy the potatoes were under cooked and the gravy was way to salty. Thanks though It's the thought that counts.Her:Do you like my new dress It was only $280 It was less then half price.Me:Well actually dear I don't like the colour and it makes your hips look a little big your stomach bulges out and I can see the cellulite in your thighs. My point is life is not absolutes there is pesky shades of grey:if this woman feels her guy is doing the wrong thing then he is...No wrong Just because she feels he is doing the wrong thing does NOT mean he is. Which she hasn't even stated, that is your slant. I'm certainly not stating his intentions are good. I don't know and neither do you.The rest of your post I agree with nearly 100% they need to talk and be honest with each other.You and I don't know his intentions or anything about them(I'm thinking it is not even a genuine post).If I feel your a total knob. Does that make it true(Sorry a bit harsh just an example).If a born again feels you will burn in hell for being a member of this website. Will you burn in hell ?I think your past experience may be clouding your impartiality. Your only advice should be as you said talk to each other. leave the attacks on singles and judgement on sexy3665's partner to themselves.
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RHP User
14 years ago
PS: I withdraw the knob reference it was an unnecessary personal attack and I apologize.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' Quoting 'lil_bit_angelic'an update from the OP - what she thinks of the comments, what approach she's taken since she posted. from lil.miss.curious :) She hasn't logged on since writing this thread.....I just sometimes have to wonder if they really are "wives" or "girlfriends" or just crazy arsed stalkers! . Hugs...xFunlovingx that's what I was thinking :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MrandMrsmaybe' PS: I withdraw the knob reference it was an unnecessary personal attack and I apologize. its ok... i get called much worse....on an almost daily basis.......this woman's come here for some advice, and it seems she wont get much from people who so far...seem to support the idea that its ok to cheat, and its ok to lie....... this woman wants to know whether we think its cheating.....and yea some of us do...she 'assumes' its for the purpose of meeting others.....and to us, that matters little whether its a face to face meeting, or a suggested one, the site is aimed at 'networking' for meets, for cyber play, for companionship, and even for advice and support....... i'd vote every time that a partner should be honest and upfront with anything that has an impact on his or her partner, or their relationship...how can it not be so? she sees that there is a problem with him being here,so it doesnt matter at all what his motives might or might not have been, what matters is her concern, if it causes her to question and even to doubt, then its obvious that there's a problem....perhaps of communication.... and she absolutely has reason to confront and question him.....if that's where this takes her....(oh and so you know....we don't lie to each other....we already did 'shades of grey' with our previous partners....and it ended badly)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MrandMrsmaybe'PS: To the blokes encouraging a marriage breakdown for the very UNLIKELY possibility you'll get laid. Disgraceful. If I was going to hit on her I would of went straight to her inbox instead of the forum. The jackals could smell blood and wouldn't of f#cked around in here wasting their time, they would have went in for the kill. She used the forum to get input and she got plenty to think about. You need that variety then pick the gold from it.... freedom of speech isn't bad ay!(well, not all the time) Us singles mightn't say the right things and know jack shit but we're allowed a voice. I've been cheated on twice and feel safe as a single and probably why I was so hard on this guy. I mightn't be married either but I was in a solid relationship for 7yrs....longer then a lot of marriages these days, and that ended on friendly amicable terms, we're great friends. Funloving's pointed out that sexy's long gone....Hope her and hubby are working things out...don't know the whole story or if it was a stooge but it sure put some heat in the forums!
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wannabyummymummy
14 years ago
I haven't read anyone's post that said it was ok for him to cheat???As for "singles" posting on "Important relationship issues" well again I am a little confused the OP did post in "girls Ask" not "couples corner" at no point did she specify that only couples in stable relationships need comment.The truth is that some of us (and i know there is more than me) have individual profiles as well as a couples one (and each has their reasons for that) so does that make my opinon less valid if i right it under this profile than if i was to use our couples one??There are a lot of couples on this site who are on here for the wrong reasons (not referencing anyone in particular here) and who are in FAR from perfect relationships who wouldnt know good advice if it slapped them in the face and yet based on the theory that singles don't seem to have a clue about relationships their advice would still be worth more than a single person's?? please explain this to me........I know it doesn't really matter at this point as the OP seems to have disappeared anyway and probably wont be back to see all this but there are some really good points made and some decent advice given it would be a shame to see the whole post disintergrate into a slanging match between couples and singles over who is right and who is wrong (although it can make for entertaining reading to a point)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'wannabyummymummy' I haven't read anyone's post that said it was ok for him to cheat???As for "singles" posting on "Important relationship issues" well again I am a little confused the OP did post in "girls Ask" not "couples corner" at no point did she specify that only couples in stable relationships need comment.The truth is that some of us (and i know there is more than me) have individual profiles as well as a couples one (and each has their reasons for that) so does that make my opinon less valid if i right it under this profile than if i was to use our couples one??There are a lot of couples on this site who are on here for the wrong reasons (not referencing anyone in particular here) and who are in FAR from perfect relationships who wouldnt know good advice if it slapped them in the face and yet based on the theory that singles don't seem to have a clue about relationships their advice would still be worth more than a single person's?? please explain this to me........I know it doesn't really matter at this point as the OP seems to have disappeared anyway and probably wont be back to see all this but there are some really good points made and some decent advice given it would be a shame to see the whole post disintergrate into a slanging match between couples and singles over who is right and who is wrong (although it can make for entertaining reading to a point) 'singles' who are just that...single.....often have very different opinions to couples...especially couples in well adjusted and happy relationships..and especially here on this site.....lord knows, Ive been pilloried often enough for daring to share that i love my wife.... i don't know how that could upset anyone...but it does... telling this girl that her husband mightve been here for 'innocent' reasons...is so far out of line that its not funny...but some did... telling her its ok, husbands come here and chat etc...is saying 'its OK to cheat'..but that's not really fair....because to some of us....the 'intent' is enough....the 'idea' is enough for it to constitute cheating.... if he's here without her knowledge and consent...whats he doing? picking wall paper? no....in all likelihood hes here to cheat....by meeting someone...by pretending to...by wanking over conversations and photos hes shared with others, or by airing his and her most private information in a public forum on an adult sex site.....if this woman has issue with any of this (and she should) then she absolutely should be asking him to 'please explain'...........wouldn't you in her shoes??
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RHP User
14 years ago
We are an open forum here - if anyone is interested in trolling through all of this thread, or any of the other ones.. there are those who are obviously jaded a tad, and don't really into offering a shoulder for the hard-done-by to cry on. As Edward De Bono covered in his book "Six Thinking hats" it is not even HEALTHY for Sexy3669 to only have one coloured hat of thought laid on her. Here she has the whole six.. including the covered suggestion that she is FOS!! and doesn't even exist. :) As for some of the supposed single girls hitting her up for sex... *chuckles* ... well... as Jahman says.. Surely they wouldn't waste their time doing it on a forum, where the OP appears to have NEVER even checked to read a single response/reply... :) HOWEVER: even IF she(/he) was here, then that suggestion in itself IS an OPTION to her problem.. maybe NOT an ideal one, BUT, it is an option.. why not run it by her? caveman (sometimes reads)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Almost everyone is right, please discuss with your partner first before makng decisions. I am happily married and we talk about almost everything. We are new to the scene and yes it is fun, daunting etc etc. Discuss with him both your needs and wants etc and if your both onboard my only advice would be discuss boundaries and do it together.Good luck.
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wannabyummymummy
14 years ago
I do get what you are saying to a point, of course a single person would have a different view to someone in a committed relationship regardless of whether they are newly single, single as a result of a failed relationship, single by choice or by circumstance.However I think it is a little harsh to dismiss their opinions as wrong and thereby pushing your version of truth onto others.As i stated in my advice to the OP only SHE can decide what her definition of cheating is and what she is prepared to work though to save her marriage.I think it is also a little harsh to assume that he is on here to meet (and cheat), we dont know who this person is, for all we know he is a regular here in the forums........... we don't know what his profile said or what his motivation was for joining i may be naive but i think it is entirely possible that he was on here to learn more about the lifestyle, talk with like minded people and perhaps even get to the point where he broached the subject with his wife as something the two of them can do together.Things are not always black and white,that's all i'm saying. Quoting 'mikeandshel' 'singles' who are just that...single.....often have very different opinions to couples...especially couples in well adjusted and happy relationships..and especially here on this site.....lord knows, Ive been pilloried often enough for daring to share that i love my wife.... i don't know how that could upset anyone...but it does... telling this girl that her husband mightve been here for 'innocent' reasons...is so far out of line that its not funny...but some did... telling her its ok, husbands come here and chat etc...is saying 'its OK to cheat'..but that's not really fair....because to some of us....the 'intent' is enough....the 'idea' is enough for it to constitute cheating.... if he's here without her knowledge and consent...whats he doing? picking wall paper? no....in all likelihood hes here to cheat....by meeting someone...by pretending to...by wanking over conversations and photos hes shared with others, or by airing his and her most private information in a public forum on an adult sex site.....if this woman has issue with any of this (and she should) then she absolutely should be asking him to 'please explain'...........wouldn't you in her shoes??
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RHP User
14 years ago
haven't read all the dribble from the wolf pack but just for a bit of balance, i've been visiting here for a few years and haven't cheated on my wife depsite numurous offers.
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wannabyummymummy
14 years ago
Just read your profile mate and sorry but it doesnt read like someone NOT cheating on thier wife and if you haven't cheated i am not thinking it is as a result of knocking back "numerous offers".You are entitled to your opinion on the forums by all means but please don't insult our intelligence with your own "dribble" in fact you actually did NOTHING constructive for the argument at all. Quoting 'Mac555' haven't read all the dribble from the wolf pack but just for a bit of balance, i've been visiting here for a few years and haven't cheated on my wife depsite numurous offers.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Regardless of what is written in my proflie the fact remains that i have never cheated on my wife and just by having an account here doesn't make me or the OP's hubby a cheat.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Mac555' Regardless of what is written in my proflie the fact remains that i have never cheated on my wife and just by having an account here doesn't make me or the OP's hubby a cheat. I have a friend on a couple of sites who is married...and although she loves the online flirting and joined in hopes of finding an attentive lover, she has never gone past the flirting stage...I do understand where you are coming from! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
to some.....just being here without your partners knowledge and consent would constitute cheating....or at the very least, would be considered 'intent' to cheat...we both share some pretty strong opinions on what partners should disclose...if they seek 'honesty' in their relationship....there's no question my wife could ask me, that i couldn't answer fully and honestly without hesitation or regret.....and Shel? well shes just too honest for her own good....if either of us was here....or elsewhere, without the others support and blessing...we both fully understand what the consequences would be.....
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RHP User
14 years ago
If he was on this site not to meet people but to simply be entertained/network, then I'm quite sure he would've told you about it and reassured you that nothing dodgy was going on. However, since he has not talked to you about it, then this is probably not the case. There's no excuse in terms of "oh, I didn't say anything because I thought you wouldn't mind."If alarm bells aren't ringing right now then you should be worried. Not only is that a horrible excuse at the best of times, this is an adult dating/hookup site!If you want this to stop, you'll need to confront him about it, as hard as that may sound. He's in the wrong here so you don't need to be apologetic or timid about it. Be assertive without being aggressive.You'll really need to work on communication if you want to salvage your relationship, as lack of communication is a huge factor in cheating. However, don't be content with "Oh, soz babe. Nah, I won't do it again" or any sort of crap like that. If his attitudes and lack of respect for you don't change, then his behaviour won't change and he will cheat again.
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RHP User
14 years ago
*chuckles* I guess sexy3669 has her answer.... About Me I'm in need of some tender loving care...am a 30 yr old female and interested in meeting new guys..great personality... My looks are a bonus I am Looking For Guys *chuckles*
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'cavey50' *chuckles* I guess sexy3669 has her answer.... About Me I'm in need of some tender loving care...am a 30 yr old female and interested in meeting new guys..great personality... My looks are a bonus I am Looking For Guys *chuckles* but but but Cavey, it says she is 25 too.....which one is right
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RHP User
14 years ago
His definately after a bit on the side
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RHP User
14 years ago
D_G_T: Watch out girl... I have studied your profile in depth... now, I am in the process of developing your PERFECT MATCH... complete with photoshopped images.... Kinda like... "What Women want" so be aware when you get messaged by Someome2GTBT. Cavey..
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel' Quoting 'OnTheProwlreowww' Sadly Yes I do find its cheating,lets face it as you said this site clearly is not for chatting,you would actually be amazed at the amount of married men on this site,quite frankly I think its sickning and a real put off,Id be horrified & asking my man wat he gets fronm the site that im not giving him,maybe he just gets on here to look at the menu to see wat his missing out on or maybe his a sicko that gets on here & flogs off over the pictures but either way its chaeating in my eyes most 'singles' dont get this...but then, they are here for 'themselves' after all, so thats not surprising.... if you are a 'couple' , everything you say, think, feel or do, has to take into consideration, how it might impact on your relationship....or on your partner.... and if the things you say, think, feel or do, are such that it has even the remotest chance of a negative impact...then it should be excluded from your life.... coming here without your partners knowledge or even consent (tacit or explicit) isnt the behavior of decent, caring or respectful people....its selfish. if you stop and think properly about what 'cheating' really is...you'd see that the first person you 'cheat' is always yourself....you cheat yourself of honesty, of respect, and of trust... if this woman feels her guys doing the wrong thing...then he is. end of argument. should she question him? absolutely. I can't say that I often agree with your comments, and I have to admit that in the past I have been guilty of many of the things you have mentioned, however in this case, I think you are 100% CORRECT. You are right in saying that every single action you take has an action on someone, somewhere. Some are totally insignificant, some are life altering or even life ending.To be able to do everything you have said takes huge moral fortitude and conviction and sometimes the only way to learn these lessons is through (unfortunately) making mistakes and in having bad judgement. It's not pleasant and it's not something to be proud of. On a larger scale this is also how the human race has evolved (not always for the best).The reason the human race survives is because we adapt, we forgive, we learn, and we move on. If it takes huge moral fortitude and conviction to live "the perfect life" (and that's not meant with any sarcasm) then it takes even more strength to forgive, even if we don't always understand the reasons for the pain inflicted on us or by us.The people who can forgive are the people that I aspire to be more like.There endeth the sermon..... :)Mr SinS
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RHP User
14 years ago
cheating ok if he with a guy
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