F39
Cheating or not??
April 20 2012
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
If you are on this site long enough you will find that many people on here are here just to have a bit of a look and many never meet up with anyone! No need to have a big blue over it, just mention that you know he's been on the site and ask him to show you. If you do it in a level headed way you will find out more as he will realise you are not angry and let you in on it. This way you will come to realise the exact nature of his business on here. Having a profile on here doesn't mean he loves you any less or that your sex life is lacking, it is just something else for him to occupy his time, a bit extra. If he has been meeting up with people and having sex with them, that's a different story. In many ways it is easier to have sex with someone than it is to talk openly and honestly about your true feelings. Don't stress.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Wow, it's rare (but it does happen) that I really react strongly to what someone says on here. I respect your opinion, as I respect all opinions within reason, but I find myself struggling to respect your complete dismissal (until your later post) of anyone else that might have a different opinion. And I struggle more to accept your version of the world where there is only one type of marriage, and one set of rules. Seriously? I'm an intelligent, decent, thoughtful woman but I've done silly things in relationships when I felt out of sorts, unsure, confused and didn't know how to talk about it. I found my way eventually but the path was a bit bumpy. There's every possibility that Mr Sexy is in a confused headspace and finding his way. I believe it's more likely he's cheating, through intent or action, but I have to allow for the possibility that his world and their marriage migt not be black and white. Generally I find you posts balanced and helpful, but this time I found them evangelical and judgmental. Best I go off and stare at my belly button for a while, to work out why you pushed my buttons so much :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'lil_bit_angelic' Wow, it's rare (but it does happen) that I really react strongly to what someone says on here. I respect your opinion, as I respect all opinions within reason, but I find myself struggling to respect your complete dismissal (until your later post) of anyone else that might have a different opinion. And I struggle more to accept your version of the world where there is only one type of marriage, and one set of rules. Seriously? I'm an intelligent, decent, thoughtful woman but I've done silly things in relationships when I felt out of sorts, unsure, confused and didn't know how to talk about it. I found my way eventually but the path was a bit bumpy. There's every possibility that Mr Sexy is in a confused headspace and finding his way. I believe it's more likely he's cheating, through intent or action, but I have to allow for the possibility that his world and their marriage migt not be black and white. Generally I find you posts balanced and helpful, but this time I found them evangelical and judgmental. Best I go off and stare at my belly button for a while, to work out why you pushed my buttons so much :) did you not read that i said 'some' in my posts......or 'we'? sorry, but his being here on his own.....to us......is not a good healthy wholesome thing.....and to 'us'...as in 'our opinion' ....its something that will only lead to upset and disappointment...for both of them... if shes questioning his motives...or his intent, then doesnt that point to some sort of uncomfortable situation or issue? for 'us'...and i said 'us' over and over, were either of us found by the other to be doing something we'd already agreed wasnt on...either through conversation, discussion or agreement, or at that point where we said our 'vows' to each other...then the other would ask them to 'please explain'......at the bare minimum....the most severe conequences of such a betrayal...because thats how we look at these things, having already been through the worst sorts of betrayal and disappointments in our own previous relationships...would likely be separation and worse......am i/we not entitled to our own opinions on these things? and if they are severe and unforgiving, might that not be the result of some very difficult lessons we might have learned in our own past? shit hey. sorry for having a history thats painful to recall, sorry for having been through the mill and had our lives destroyed. sorry for losing everything to an unfaithful dishonest partner, sorry for believing someones lies (it meant nothing).......... we both know its not all peaches and cream...life's far from perfect, but you know,and if we hadn't learned lessons, we'd hardly be able to call ourselves adults could we? we arent telling anyone their opinions are worthless, or dismissing anyone, but certainly point out that some are here for themselves, and have opinions that might not fully reflect an understanding of the idea of a 'relationship'...we've encountered some of these people and their opinions previously and understand that they see no issue at all with playing with someone else s partner...on the sly.. and we see that itself as being less than desirable and less than reasonable behavior...especially when it comes from adults who claim to have dealt with betrayal and deceit in their own pasts...........
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'lil_bit_angelic' Wow, it's rare (but it does happen) that I really react strongly to what someone says on here. I respect your opinion, as I respect all opinions within reason, but I find myself struggling to respect your complete dismissal (until your later post) of anyone else that might have a different opinion. And I struggle more to accept your version of the world where there is only one type of marriage, and one set of rules. Seriously? I'm an intelligent, decent, thoughtful woman but I've done silly things in relationships when I felt out of sorts, unsure, confused and didn't know how to talk about it. I found my way eventually but the path was a bit bumpy. There's every possibility that Mr Sexy is in a confused headspace and finding his way. I believe it's more likely he's cheating, through intent or action, but I have to allow for the possibility that his world and their marriage migt not be black and white. Generally I find you posts balanced and helpful, but this time I found them evangelical and judgmental. Best I go off and stare at my belly button for a while, to work out why you pushed my buttons so much :) You wouldnt be the first to feel that way lil_bit I too , used to get that way when reading Mike's version on singles LOLAs Mike has admitted himself he can and does have a touch of foot and mouth disease, especially I have found on this particular subject.I have , however come to realise that it's all to do with history and where we all (as individuals) have to work from.Mike's view actually does have to narrow on this one, as you've probably read (lol more than once) both his and Shel's previous relationships necessitate a need for complete and utter , straight down the line honesty, with some very strict rules going on there too.Mike , I realise this works for you, as it has to.....and I'm glad it works well for you both, but Lil_bit_angelic is very right in stating it comes across as judgemental on a singles opinion being worthy of anything You could watch that a bit more ya know........just try putting two toes in your mouth instead of the whole foot -pmsl What you need to take into consideration here, is that your relationship really is the minority here, and you opinion of other relationships could be a little more open to the fact most people are not coming from where you did.It's called empathy to most , and as an adult you already know that there are many 'right' ways to fuck a chicken ( or is that cook it? meh can't remember) yours is merely one of them that works
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'D_G_T' Quoting 'lil_bit_angelic' Wow, it's rare (but it does happen) that I really react strongly to what someone says on here. I respect your opinion, as I respect all opinions within reason, but I find myself struggling to respect your complete dismissal (until your later post) of anyone else that might have a different opinion. And I struggle more to accept your version of the world where there is only one type of marriage, and one set of rules. Seriously? I'm an intelligent, decent, thoughtful woman but I've done silly things in relationships when I felt out of sorts, unsure, confused and didn't know how to talk about it. I found my way eventually but the path was a bit bumpy. There's every possibility that Mr Sexy is in a confused headspace and finding his way. I believe it's more likely he's cheating, through intent or action, but I have to allow for the possibility that his world and their marriage migt not be black and white. Generally I find you posts balanced and helpful, but this time I found them evangelical and judgmental. Best I go off and stare at my belly button for a while, to work out why you pushed my buttons so much :) You wouldnt be the first to feel that way lil_bit I too , used to get that way when reading Mike's version on singles LOLAs Mike has admitted himself he can and does have a touch of foot and mouth disease, especially I have found on this particular subject.I have , however come to realise that it's all to do with history and where we all (as individuals) have to work from.Mike's view actually does have to narrow on this one, as you've probably read (lol more than once) both his and Shel's previous relationships necessitate a need for complete and utter , straight down the line honesty, with some very strict rules going on there too.Mike , I realise this works for you, as it has to.....and I'm glad it works well for you both, but Lil_bit_angelic is very right in stating it comes across as judgemental on a singles opinion being worthy of anything You could watch that a bit more ya know........just try putting two toes in your mouth instead of the whole foot -pmsl What you need to take into consideration here, is that your relationship really is the minority here, and you opinion of other relationships could be a little more open to the fact most people are not coming from where you did.It's called empathy to most , and as an adult you already know that there are many 'right' ways to fuck a chicken ( or is that cook it? meh can't remember) yours is merely one of them that works seems every time you get involved....you manage to say exactly the right thing...using really well constructed logic and language...its why i like reading your posts so much..... i see what you are saying..and yea...the foots usually firmly lodged, but by the time i see it...i've already posted my comment....oh for a Facebook style edit/delete option.... cheers tho...and I'll try (no promises) to tone down the language and be a little more accommodating...no guarantees it will last tho...as I've so far failed fairly consistently to be reasonable and tend to embarrass myself/us fairly regularly..........m
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RHP User
14 years ago
yeah yeah I know.....it's called being human Mike, it happens to the best and worst of us
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RHP User
14 years ago
lil_bit_angelic what works for me is.......before I read any of Mike's posts I start with an invisible "What works for us is..." you can feel free to borrow that one anytime Mike...you'd be amazed what a difference it makes pmsl
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RHP User
14 years ago
What DGT said :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'D_G_T' lil_bit_angelic what works for me is.......before I read any of Mike's posts I start with an invisible "What works for us is..." you can feel free to borrow that one anytime Mike...you'd be amazed what a difference it makes pmsl yea yea.....you know i hate it when you are right...can i come back out of the corner now?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yep....... As you were peeps, nothin to see here ;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am now wondering...which of you regular forum contributors opened up a fake profile to get the old "cheating" arguement going again?....You sly dog you ....Hahahahahaha! Damn if only you can remember the password..... Hugs...xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' I am now wondering...which of you regular forum contributors opened up a fake profile to get the old "cheating" arguement going again?....You sly dog you ....Hahahahahaha! Damn if only you can remember the password..... Hugs...xFunlovingx not us....we aren't that manipulative...........lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
Are you guys having sex? Not feeling sexual enough to each other?? maybe you need to explore that and find your sexual being! Is he missing something?? could be a reason
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RHP User
14 years ago
Message to both sexy3369 and lil_bit_angelic Sexy 3369: without knowing anything about your relationship it is almost an impossibilty to comment on this from simply reading the brief description you have given. Perhaps rather than asking questions to a faceless forum of people who's opinions are generally questionable, you might find some benifit from speaking one on one with a relationship counsellor and if his personality is ameanable to it, your partner?? lil_bit_angelic: I'm new to this websight and have just started reading some of the forums. I have enjoyed some of your commentary but was surprised by your comment above beginning "Wow, it's rare (but it does happen) that I really react strongly". Eloquence, insight and charm. I think I'm a fan.
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RHP User
14 years ago
oops. Benifit = Benefit. Typo above. Don't want to look like an illiterate
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RHP User
14 years ago
1 ... that i talk way too much... and 2... I like to look at things from a slightly more obtuse angle check the dictionary for that one) both definitions fit perfect... Id be asking myself why haven't you been kept in the loop... Is he perhaps keeping his intimacy "safely" a secret or seperate from the relationship because he no longer feels your trust worthy of its safeguarding? 3...am i a Logical person? hahahahahaha emotional what?... It amazes me how ppl spend so much time trying to figure out the other person in the relationships behaviour ... but rarely stop to self reflect on the behaviours and actions of the only one person in that relationship they have any business trying to change... anything else is manipulation and detrimental to both members independence inside the relationship...4...any form of dishonesty in a relationship is not cool... but quite often ... the cheating starts when one starts lying to themselves
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RHP User
14 years ago
I believe if things arnt right in a relationship whether that be sexually or emtionally unfulfilled one or the other will stray, that might be in a way of just talking to someone or having that sexual and emtional connection,maybe he feels he can not be fully open with you as he doesnt know how too or fear of loosing you . We all have fantasys, thoughts,desire sometimes you may not be able to bring yourself to tell your partner.We grow not only as a person mentally,sociallyand sexually.I would suggest you talk to him when you calm but be open and honest and listen to him,even tho you may be so gutted and understand why at the time , its important to hear his needs and very important to tell him yours and to be totally open and honest.You may find he or even both of you are going into the next phase of your relationship so this could brings things to ahead for good or worse.I think the lack of communication especially as years go on with the same person things can just plod along and stay the same untill something like this happens.We all need loving whatever your definition of that is........having experienced similar findings we all loose our way a little now and then and opens doors for growth with in our self and each other. Talk to him maybe join him if enclined to be open to new experiences and it will either bring you much closer together or realize its time to move on as hard as that will be.But dont give up untill you have exhausted every avenue and given 100 percent .People do come into your life for a REASON,SEASON OR A LIFETIME.....which ever one that is, it will enrich your self growth as a person and point you in the right direction. Good luck LISTEN TAKE ON BOARD,PROCESS,ACT.But at the end of the day a happy heart is what we all want and we are not here for a long time,life goes by so quick especially as you get older as i have realized.....you only live once!!! and to all those wonderfull people i have met its been a pleasure.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I found out my (now ex) husband was on a sex site. I set up a bogus email account and a profile on the site that looked or sounded nothing like me, and chatted with him online for a while. I bought a cheap phone and simcard for texting only. I got to ask very alot of questions that i had never asked him. I was blown away!! To say he spilled his guts is an understatement. We eventually met up and I confronted him with facts. I did this way because I wanted the truth...humans fundamentally lie to get out of trouble and I believed I did it this way to get to the truth..he anwered all my questions before I confronted him and so the only thing to do was confront him and say good bye.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Dimples is correct!Communication is the key!No need to get angry or depressed.I am a man and I believe in honesty. My sexual needs are higher than that of my partner. I adore my partner, so it was not a question if looking for someone else to replace her.We discussed our needs openly and agreed to try opening our relationship sexually.Our couple has flourish. She even joins me from time to time. For me it is purely sexual. I have made splendid friends over the years and my partner is aware of any of my doings on this site. We communicate all the time. I share with her. My sexual needs and kinks are being met, we are still together and are loyal to each other, although she is encouraging me to share my sexual needs with like-minded people. Your husband may be needing more sexually than you can give him; perhaps, more than he dares asking you; perhaps you two have sexual needs that are beyond what you both individually suspect.No matter what anyone say, Sex is an important part of a marriage. Underestimate this part, and before you know it, one is looking first for sexual gratification outside of wedlock...then perhaps he might be looking for emotional gratification down the track if you two have lost touch...Don't lose touch!Love the man you have chosen. Show him that it is ok to have fantasies, and sexual needs. Show him that it is ok not to be 100% sexually compatible.On a personal level, I and my wife aren't 100% sexually compatible but we have found a way to stay in love all the same.Good luck to you. Be brave and choose not to blindly follow the established conventions. Follow your heart. Show courage, for he may not be cheating on you, he may just be needing more than he dares tell you.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Talk too much Midnight? Too funny :) (But yes, I have to agree!) I do really love your comments at points 3 and 4. We should talk more about those one day ;) Callisto, welcome to RHP and the forums. Looking forward to your contributions. And thanks for being the first member of my fan club *blush* xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Your post took my breath away. Marvellous x
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platinumblonde69
14 years ago
Definitely don't assume...I chat to many married guys...and...some are here ONLY TO CHAT...Most would be scared shitless if the women they were chatting to suggested to meet...I had a situation happen a year or more ago now...where...a guy who Id been chatting to, had his wife appear on the site. The wife called herself ******WIFE (eg. the guys profile name plus WIFE added to it). She added me as a friend, and I knew it really was this guys wife, so I decided to email her. She ASSUMED that because her husband was my number 1 friend, that we were madly in love and were meeting up for sex. She couldn't have been further from the truth. We had never met. We emailed each other, and we also spoke once on the phone. Yes there was some lust there, but we were mainly friends. I explained to her that sometimes men wonder if the grass is greener elsewhere, not because they don't love their wife, but because they have urges and become curious about lots of things. I feel that our conversations (his and mine) actually helped him realise that his relationship was normal. Married couples do have their ups and downs, yes married couples argue, but at the end of day the woman he married is still the one he loves. I assured her that he has never had sex here (which he hadn't) and we mainly discussed married life. She actually replied to me and was very gracious of my email to her and it made her see things a lot clearer. I texted him and told him his wife was on the site, and he replied with, ok, thanks for everything, and we have never spoken again. The way i think, he valued his wife and life far more than a few cheap thrills on here, so, please don't assume he is sleeping around. Maybe he just likes to feel he is still attractive to other women, or maybe he needed to see that his life in fact is very normal. Hope this helps.Plat
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Clearskyahead'Dimples is correct!Communication is the key!No need to get angry or depressed.I am a man and I believe in honesty. My sexual needs are higher than that of my partner. I adore my partner, so it was not a question if looking for someone else to replace her.We discussed our needs openly and agreed to try opening our relationship sexually.Our couple has flourish. She even joins me from time to time. For me it is purely sexual. I have made splendid friends over the years and my partner is aware of any of my doings on this site. We communicate all the time. I share with her. My sexual needs and kinks are being met, we are still together and are loyal to each other, although she is encouraging me to share my sexual needs with like-minded people. Your husband may be needing more sexually than you can give him; perhaps, more than he dares asking you; perhaps you two have sexual needs that are beyond what you both individually suspect.No matter what anyone say, Sex is an important part of a marriage. Underestimate this part, and before you know it, one is looking first for sexual gratification outside of wedlock...then perhaps he might be looking for emotional gratification down the track if you two have lost touch...Don't lose touch!Love the man you have chosen. Show him that it is ok to have fantasies, and sexual needs. Show him that it is ok not to be 100% sexually compatible.On a personal level, I and my wife aren't 100% sexually compatible but we have found a way to stay in love all the same.Good luck to you. Be brave and choose not to blindly follow the established conventions. Follow your heart. Show courage, for he may not be cheating on you, he may just be needing more than he dares tell you. I agree with lil_bit_angelic, this is a wonderful post. I think though that trust plays such a massive, massive part in effective communication and I think trust issues are often overlooked as just being about "cheating" or being deceptive with your partner etc. Trust has so much more depth than this and I think without complete trust in each other, well intended communication can be quite difficult. For my personally, trust is so much more emotional than just fidelity or truthfulness - it means that I have absolute faith in my partner, that I believe he will always listen to me and hear me out, he will accept and respect me, protect and love me, will always strive to understand me, all those emotional needs that you have to make you feel secure in a relationship. If I trust my partner then I can communicate with him without fear, hesitation or doubt of any kind - I can talk freely about any of my desires and while he may not always agree or accommodate, he will always listen and try to understand and through our communication we reach a point we agree on (even if it is "agree to disagree"). The point is not to be "right" or "win"your argument, it's about the effort you commit to being open and honest with each other. I have such a strong security in my relationship - as I imagine many other RHP couples do, otherwise we wouldn't be here - that I can tell or ask my partner anything and know that regardless of what follows (discussion, arguing, tears, agreeance, excitement) we will remain committed to each other. And I value that much more than being the sole object of my partner's sexual desire :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ms_adventurous' I found out my (now ex) husband was on a sex site. I set up a bogus email account and a profile on the site that looked or sounded nothing like me, and chatted with him online for a while. I bought a cheap phone and simcard for texting only. I got to ask very alot of questions that i had never asked him. I was blown away!! To say he spilled his guts is an understatement. We eventually met up and I confronted him with facts. I did this way because I wanted the truth...humans fundamentally lie to get out of trouble and I believed I did it this way to get to the truth..he anwered all my questions before I confronted him and so the only thing to do was confront him and say good bye. perfect.....
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RHP User
14 years ago
to the OP it is cheating if 1. if he wasn't open about what he was doing on here 2. it is a swinging site so there is your intention 3. if you weren't involved in the choice to setup the account.basically any hiding is cheating especially if he is your husband
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RHP User
14 years ago
Painting your pot black makes you look like a tool for kicking the kettle.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'philmydollar'to the OP it is cheating if 1. if he wasn't open about what he was doing on here 2. it is a swinging site so there is your intention 3. if you weren't involved in the choice to setup the account.basically any hiding is cheating especially if he is your husband Cheating or not!!!........ Everyones relationship is different and who are we to judge, you havnt walked in their shoes or felt their emtions or what is missing in their life. I think as you get older and experience more of lifes events your opinions,thoughts,feelings change but is not always conveyed to the other partner, if you think back 10 years again do you think you would be on here,,no way in the world would i have thought that and look back and see in my lifes pattern i have gone thru an emotional,physical,growth every seven years, things i had an opinon on or felt are totally different to todays thoughts and feelings about things.You come in this world on you own and go out on your own its what you do inbetween in making choices which determines our happiness. We all have a choice...its just which conscious one your going to take.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'lil_bit_angelic' Your post took my breath away. Marvellous x Thanks Angelic. I read your profile. Loved your honesty. You sound like a good friend to have. If you ever come to WA, feel free to hit me (gently) for a coffee. It would be a pleasure.x
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RHP User
14 years ago
Before clearing the air with him, first of all ask yourself why you decided to go on this site, if it was mere curiousity, then maybe that was the same for your husband, mind you it doesn't look good and maybe he will try to squirm out of the answer, turn the tables on you by asking you why you are on the site(so it could bite you in the bum), or might get angry and offended to throw you off the matter(and he could well and try be wanting something out of the site). Think really hard before you bring up the matter because there could be quite a few unexpected scenarios that you may not be prepared for or he may just be up front and honest with you. I do hope for you it is just a mere curiosity, but look at him in the face and notice his body language that will tell a lot as to whether he is evading the question or not. Good luck I hope it is just innocent curiosity and not your worst fears.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Of course its fucking cheating!! Haha. Are you for real?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Dragonfyre2010' Before clearing the air with him, first of all ask yourself why you decided to go on this site, if it was mere curiousity, then maybe that was the same for your husband, mind you it doesn't look good and maybe he will try to squirm out of the answer, turn the tables on you by asking you why you are on the site(so it could bite you in the bum), or might get angry and offended to throw you off the matter(and he could well and try be wanting something out of the site). Think really hard before you bring up the matter because there could be quite a few unexpected scenarios that you may not be prepared for or he may just be up front and honest with you. I do hope for you it is just a mere curiosity, but look at him in the face and notice his body language that will tell a lot as to whether he is evading the question or not. Good luck I hope it is just innocent curiosity and not your worst fears. its not 'innocent'....and never could be....it deliberate and calculated.....profiles dont fall from the sky....and they dont write themselves..... he means to be here, and for whatever reason, hid that from her, by not telling her up front...it reeks of deception and dishonesty..... in our opinion at least, and to write if off as 'innocent' is wrong..... men dont come her out of curiosity, if they did, they'd not set a profile up...they come here with 'intent'........
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am on this site because my wife doesnt have the sex drive anymore , she commented to me once about finding me a misstress because she not that intersted in sex . so i joined I dont see why i should give up sex because she wants too . So i am here looking for discreet meets and to make friends . love me or hate me but thats my story.
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RHP User
14 years ago
We all dream about being with someone else, about being able to openly speak our mind, say what we want in the bedroom. The truth is, not everyone has that voice.I was in a relationship with the same man for 13 years, and I felt I couldn't speak my mind about what I wanted, sexually or otherwise, so I can understand completely while people would head to sites such as this, purely for the freedom it brings.Unless something physical happened, it wouldn't bother me, because I know what it's like to feel trapped.
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RHP User
14 years ago
However one can also view the forum postings without logging on...and let's just hope that perhaps mr and mrs are sorting it all out !!! Best of luck to them. And even if the posting was fake at least it got us all posting and commenting which is what a good forum topic does !!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
...I sent her a note, she came over and told me all about that no good bastard husband of hers then we went at it like rabbits in heat. | I hereby declare....it's not cheating, just one hell of a way to cop an anonymous root! She was so hot she was smokin' but refused to tell me her last name or even leave a phone number. I feel so...used. | Puh-lezzzz....this one had con written on it the day it was posted.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hey sexy dont jump to conclusions, five years ago I was on adultfriendfinder and then met a girl on rsvp and that was the end of the sex site thing, my problem was I never got rid of AFF and my girl discovered it and we nearly split up, not so much because I was still on the site but because she started going threw all my emails and phone messages and that pissed me off, take it easy when you hit him up on it.
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VitaminYum
14 years ago
Hi, I chat on here with people and my GF doesn't know. I would love her to be broadminded enough to come have a look and play on here and meet like minded people also. I don't meet people, just chat.I do cam sometimes with people, but it's no different than having a play on your own to Porn.Ask him about it, but like one of the earlier comments, have a look yourself...maybe get in touch with your sexual self.....but maybe as a couple, you could experience it together.There are plenty of idiots, but many people just like they can express their sexual selves.Not my best work, i'm not going to sit here and provide a detailed explanation, but open your mind.Either way, good luck!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
If he is on a sex site forums or no forums I would assume that he has the intentions of meeting someone (who knows he could even have a bi fetish or something he may think you won't approve of) If I was in your position, I would go about it in a sneaky way and see if I can get into his profile or email account and find proof then I would confront him catch him off guard and be smart about it ;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Kinky_Charlie' The Op has not been on here since she posted the OP on the 20/04...(???) Gotta a feeling this is fake posting.....and you all have been conned... .....,...LOL...maybe im wrong too.... Like Funloving .. and kinky .. I have got to agree .. this profile and the OP smell of being a scam fake posting in more ways then one ..
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RHP User
14 years ago
Marriage and commitment means different things for different people. What we your expectations and was it discussed? For me marriage means you surrender the opportunity to engage in a relationship either physically or sexually with another person. I wish you all the best, and don't ever sacrifice what you need .....and what you were promised. Take care
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RHP User
14 years ago
Marriage and commitment means different things for different people. What we your expectations and was it discussed? For me marriage means you surrender the opportunity to engage in a relationship either physically or sexually with another person. I wish you all the best, and don't ever sacrifice what you need .....and what you were promised. Take care
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RHP User
14 years ago
As some have mentioned on here, you should never assume, because you might have it so terribly wrong even though it does look pretty damning, but think a minute! He might ask you the same question, what are you doing on this site? It might seem like a contradiction. If he is on the forums then maybe (depending on the content) it is simply exploring and basically resourcing and understanding sex and relationships and what others think, so before you jump to too many conclusions, just observe, notice behaviour at home etc. Sure confront him if you wish but careful how you broach the subject because if you accuse him of something and he isn't actually doing anything then things could get a bit tricky or alternatively if you do catch him out he may deny it unless you havae proof or throw you off by getting angry and hiding his guilt(because he got caught out, some people are like that, guilty but in denial and get angry to throw you off the scent). It is just a suggestion to be a quiet observer so you can gain an idea of whether his intent is innocent or not and observe his behaviour at home. If he is decidedly amorous then maybe he is gaining more information and ideas on lovemaking but if he is not interested in sex for some reason or another then one might have to think there is something going on. Think before you act, rather than react and have it all bounce back in your face.
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Genius_Ironman
14 years ago
Quoting 'chickcara'Pinging is for amateurs. If you are trying to bring down a web site then using HTTP-Posts until it is flooded with OT responses will be more effective Better still; compress a few Mb of repeating text, concatenate the outputs, and recompress, then repeat. You should be able to create a recursive .ZIP file a few hundred K in size, with millions of files, totalling many Tb is size. Email it straight to port 25, and watch what happens when the antivirus tries to unzip all the files & scan them. Modern AV software does have limits to get around “Zip Bombs”, but is amazing how frequently they are misconfigured.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Get rid of him now. To be in a relationship with someone that is dishonest is not worth it. I consider even chatting sexually with another person to be cheating. This is a swingers/ sex site, clear and simple. More than likely he is on plenty of other sites too.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I know exactly how you feel I also joined because I seen my Partner was on here I also seen he was interested in men as well I confronted him about it and assures me he hadn't been on here for about five years however his status says he was last on over a month ago not sure whether to believe him I also found out today he has Four email address I am very confused any advice and should I believe he hadsnt been in for years?
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RHP User
14 years ago
it really depends on what moral's you and your partner value..doesnt it?
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RHP User
14 years ago
If his profile says,last month ,then last month it was.All the rest ,you need to talk to him about...his sexual orientation,...his looking for sexual encounters ...and then decide if this is the relationship you want Perhaps you could consider expanding your own sexual horizons, to include mmf or attending parties or events which are advertised here.good luck x Hugs H
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RHP User
14 years ago
Here is my advice - talk to him openly about it. I tried for years talking to my wife - but she's not interested. The onliy time we can talk about sex is after having sex (not frequently enough to my liking but I am hppy to adjust to her desire for a oncve a month service ;-) Monogamy is what the society has at the moent so that's what we attempt to comply with, however nature has different ideas - perhaps your hubby needs a different type of sexuial activity, or more frequent one (as most men do), or he'd like to involve you but does not know how to approach it as it implies "cheating". My wife told me several times to go and buy some relief but I prefer a friend with benefits arrangement which I had a few of over time (none for about a year now BTW)... She refuses to talk about it, says she doesn't want to know anything nd we all pretend to be happy. I love her and my family, we have lots of fun together but the sexual area is still taboo and disorganised. Yes, largely due to the fact that the society talks about marriaeg and family as an excluively monogamous institution which it has been for centuries. All well and good, but I think people have to change their opinion over time just like they have on gay marriage...And just to clarify - if and when I find my next Friend With Benefits it will be purely for mutual sexual pleasures with no strings attached, emotionally I will remain monogamous!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Honestly, anything done in secret, is just wrong. He may never even want to meet anyone on here, but this situation has a potential to turn out with bad results. Creating dis trust between you, & causing all sorts of unnecessary drama. Hopefully, you have confronted him now & are sorting it out.Ive had "secrets" with ex partners...them having the secrets...notice I said they are no 'EX" partners. Good luck
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